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He's tipsicum grave.
I have observed, however, one custom, He's double tongued.
which, for aught I know, is peculiar to this He's topsey turvey.
country. An account of it will serve to fill He's tipsy.
up the remainder of this sheet, and may He's thawed.
afford you some amusement. He's trammullid.
When a young couple are about to enter He's transported.
into the matrimonial state, a never-failing He has swallowed a tavern token. article in the marriage-treaty is, that the lady V.
shall have and enjoy the free and unmolested
exercise of the rights of white-washing, with He makes Virginia fame.
all its ceremonials, privileges, and apparteHe has got the Indian vapours.
A young woman would forego the He's pot valiant.
most advantageous connexion, and even disHe is in love with varany.
appoint the warmest wish of her heart, W.
rather than resign the invaluable right. You He's wise.
would wonder what this privilege of whiteHe's a wet soul.
washing is : I will endeavour to give you He has been to the salt water.
some idea of the ceremony, as I have seen He has been in search of eye water.
it performed. He's in the way to be weaned.
There is no season of the year in which He's out of the way.
the lady may not claim her privilege, if she He's water soaked.
pleases; but the latter end of May is most He's wise or otherwise.
generally fixed upon for the purpose. The He can walk the line.
attentive husband may judge by certain The wind is west with him.
prognostics when the storm is nigh at hand. He carries his wagon.
When the lady is unusually fretful, finds
fault with the servants, is discontented with The phrases of the Dictionary are not, the children, and complains much of the like most of our terms of art, borrowed from filthiness of every thing about her—these are foreign or dead languages; neither are they signs which ought not to be neglected ; yet collected from the writings of the learned ; they are not decisive, as they sometimes but gathered from domestic sources ; no
come on and go off again, without producing doubt many more might be added. I was any farther effect. But if, when the husband almost tempted to add a new one under the rises in the morning, he should observe in letter B, to wit
, brutified, but upon consi- the yard a wheelbarrow with a quantity of deration I feared doing injustice to the brute lime in it, or should see certain buckets with creation, if I represented drunkenness' as a lime dissolved in water, there is then no beastly vice, since every one knows that the time to be lost; he immediately locks up the brutes are in general a sober sort of people. apartment or closet where his papers or his
private property is kept, and putting the key
in his pocket, betakes himself to flight: for This production (The Washing Day) has a husband, however beloved, becomes a perbeen generally ascribed to Dr. Franklin ; fect nuisance during the season of female though it has been also claimed for another rage; his authority is superseded, his comgentleman. We have thought it fit to notice mission is suspended, and the very scullion, the circumstance, and its merit will be as who cleans the brasses in the kitchen, be good an apology as can be offered, should comes of more consideration and importance we be mistaken.
than him. He has nothing for it, but to ab
dicate, and run from an evil which he can Singular custom among the Americans, en neither prevent nor mollify. titled White-washing.
The husband gone, the ceremony begins. DEAR SIR,
The walls are in a few minutes stripped of My wish is to give you some account of their furniture : paintings, prints, and lookthe people of these new states, but I am far ing-glasses lie in a huddled heap about the from being qualified for the purpose, having floors ; the curtains are torn from the testers, as yet seen little more than the cities of the beds crammed into the windows; chairs New York and Philadelphia. I have dis- and tables, bedsteads and cradles, crowd the covered but few national singularities among yard ; and the garden fence bends beneath them. Their customs and manners are nearly the weight of carpets, blankets, cloth cloaks, the same with those of England, which they old coats, and ragged breeches. Here may have long been used to copy. For, previous be seen the lumber of the kitchen, forming a to the revolution, the Americans were from dark and confused mass : for the foreground their infancy taught to look up to the Eng of the picture, gridirons and frying pans, lish as patterns of perfection in all things. rusty shovels and broken tongs, spits and
pots, joint-stools, and the fractured remains under the operation : a mahogany chair and of rush-bottomed chairs. There, a closet has carved franie undergo the same discipline ; disgorged its bowels, cracked tumblers, they are to be inade clean at all events; but broken wine glasses, phials of forgotten their preservation is not worthy of attention. physic, papers of unknown powders, seeds, For instance, a fine large engraving is laid and dried herbs, handfuls of old corks, tops flat on the floor; smaller prints are piled of teapots, and stoppers of departed decan- upon it, and the superincumbent weight ters ;--from the rag-hole in the garret to the cracks the glasses of the lower tier : but this rat-hole in the cellar, no place escapes un is of no consequence. A valuable picture is rummaged. It would seem as if the day of placed leaning against the sharp corner of a general doom was come, and the utensils of table ; others are made to lean against that, the house were dragged forth to judgment until the pressure of the whole forces the In this tempest, the words of Lear naturally corner of the table through the canvass of present themselves, and might, with some the first. The frame and glass of a fine alteration, be made strictly applicable : print are to be cleaned ; the spirit and oil
used on this occasion are suffered to leak “ Let the great gods,
through and spoil the engraving ; no matter, That keep this dreadful pudder o'er our heads, if the glass is clean, and the frame shine, it Find out their enemies now. Tremble, thou wretch, is sufficient; the rest is not worthy of conThat hast within thee undivulged crimes Unwhipt of justice ?
sideration, An able arithmetician has made • Close pent-up guilt,
an accurate calculation, founded on long exRaise your concealing continents, and ask perience, and has discovered, that the losses These dreadful summoners grace !"
and destruction incident to two white-wash
ings are equal to one removal, and three reThis ceremony completed, and the house movals equal to one fire. thoroughly evacuated, the next operation is The cleaning frolic over, matters begin to to smear the walls and ceilings of every resume their pristine appearance. The storm room and closet with brushes dipped in a so- abates, and all would be well again, but it lution of lime, called white-wash; to pour is impossible that so great a convulsion, buckets of water over every floor, and scratch in so small a community, should not proall the partitions and wainscots with rough duce some farther effects. For two or three brushes wet with soap-suds, and dipped in weeks after the operation, the family are stone-cutter's sand. The windows by no usually afflicted with sore throats or sore means escape the general deluge. A servant eyes, occasioned by the caustic quality of scrambles out upon the pent-house, at the the lime, or with severe colds from the exharisk of her neck, and with a mug in her hand, lations of wet floors or damp walls. and a bucket within reach, she dashes away I know a gentleman, who was fond of acinnumerable gallons of water against the counting for every thing in a philosophical glass panes ; to the great annoyance of the way. He considers this, which I have passengers in the street.
called a custom, as a real periodical disI have been told that an action at law was ease, peculiar to the climate. His train of once brought against one of these water reasoning is ingenious and whimsical ; but nymphs, by a person who had a new suit of I am not at leisure to give you a detail. clothes spoiled by this operation; but, after The result was, that he found the distemper long argument, it was determined by the to be incurable ; but after much study, he whole court, that the action would not lie, conceived he had discovered a method to diinasmuch as the defendant was in the exer- vert the evil he could not subdue. For this cise of a legal right, and not answerable for purpose he caused a small building, about the consequences ; and so the poor gentle-iwelve feet square, to be erected in his garman was doubly nonsuited ; for he lost not den, and furnished with some ordinary only his suit of clothes, but his suit at law. chairs and tables; and a few prints of the
These smearings and seratchings, wash- cheapest sort were hung against the walls. ings and dashings, being duly performed, His hope was, that when the white-washthe next ceremonial is to cleanse and re- ing frenzy seized the females of his family, place the distracted furuiture. You may they might repair to this apartment, and have seen a house raising, or a ship-launch, scrub, and smear, and scour, to their heart's when all the hands within reach are collect-content; and so spend the violence of the ed together : recollect, if you can, the hurry, disease in this outpost, while he enjoyed bustle, confusion, and noise of such a scene, himself in quiet at head-quarters. But the and you will have some idea of this clean- experiment did not answer his expectation; ing match The misfortune is, that the sole it was impossible it should, since a princiobject is to make things clean; it matters pal part of the gratification consists in the not how many useful, ornamental, or valua- lady's having an uncontrolled right to torble articles are mutilated, or suffer death | ment her husband at least once a year, and
to turn him out of doors, and take the reins the common dirt of the room, and carried in of government into her own hands.
a rubbish pan into the yard. The tradesman There is a much better contrivance than had neglected to enter the credit in his this of the philosopher; which is, to cover book; the defendant could find nothing to the walls of the house with paper ; this is obviate the charge, and so judgment went generally done, and though it cannot abo- against him for the debt and costs. A fortlish, it at least shortens, the period of female night after the whole was settled, and the dominion. The paper is decorated with money paid, one of the children found the flowers of various fancies, and made so or- receipt among the rubbish in the yard. namental, that the women have admitted the There is also another custom peculiar to fashion without perceiving the design. the city of Philadelphia, and nearly allied to
There is also another alleviation of the the former. I mean that of washing the husband's distress; he generally has the pavement before the doors every Saturday privilege of a small room or closet for his evening. I at first took this to be a regulabooks and papers, the key of which he is tion of the police; but on a further inquiry allowed to keep. This is considered as a find it is a religious rite, preparatory to the privileged place, and stands like the land of Sabbath ; and is, I believe, the only religious Goshen amid the plagues of Egypt. But rite in which the numerous sectaries of this then he must be extremely cautious, and city perfectly agree. The ceremony begins ever on his guard. For should he inadvert- about sunset, and continues till about ten ently go abroad and leave the key in his or eleven at night. It is very difficult for a door, the housemaid, who is always on the stranger to walk the streets on those eve watch for such an opportunity, immediately pings ; he runs a continual risk of having a enters in triumph with buckets, brooms, and bucket of dirty water thrown against his brushes ; takes possession of the premises, legs : but a Philadelphian born is so much and forthwith puts all his books and papers accustomed to the danger, that he avoids it to rights : to his utter confusion, and some- with surprising dexterity. It is from this times serious detriment. For instance : circumstance that a Philadelphian may be
A gentleman was sued by the executors known anywhere by his gait. The streets of a tradesman, on a charge found against of New York are paved with rough stones; him in the deceased's books, to the amount these indeed are not washed, but the dirt is of £30. The defendant was strongly im. so thoroughly swept from before the doors, pressed with an idea that he had discharged that the stones stand up sharp and promithe debt and taken a receipt ; but, as the nent, to the great inconvenience of those who transaction was of long standing, he knew are not accustomed to so rough a path. But not where to find the receipt. The suit went habit reconciles'every thing. It is diverting on in course, and the time approached when enough to see a Philadelphian at New York; judgment would be obtained against him. he walks the streets with as much painful He then sat seriously down to examine a caution, as if his toes were covered with large bundle of old papers, which he had un- corns, or his feet lamed with the gout: while tied and displayed on a table for that pur- a New Yorker, as little approving the plain pose. In the midst of his search, he was masonry of Philadelphia, shuffles along the suddenly called away on business of import- pavement like a parrot on a mahogany table. ance; he forgot to lock the door of his room.' It must be acknowledged, that the abluThe house-maid, who had been long look- tions I have mentioned are attended with no ing out for such an opportunity, immediately small inconvenience; but the women would entered with the usual implements, and with not be induced, from any consideration, to great alacrity fell to cleaning the room, and resign their privilege. Notwithstanding this, putting things to rights. The first object that I can give you the strongest assurances, that struck her eye was the confused situation of the women of America make the most faiththe papers on the table, these were without ful wives and the most attentive mothers in delay bundled together like so many dirty the world; and I am sure you will join me knives and forks ; but in the action a small in opinion, that if a married man is made piece of paper fell unnoticed on the floor, miserable only one week in a whole year, he which happened to be the very receipt in will have no great cause to complain of the question : as it had no very respectable ap- matrimonial bond. pearance, it was soon after swept out with
I am, &c.
POLITICAL PUBLICATIONS PRIOR TO THE REVOLUTION,
FROM THE AUTOGRAPH NOTES OF DR. FRANKLIN, AS MATERIALS FOR
ARGUMENT OR REPLY.
Hints for a Reply to the Protests of certain Members of the House of Lords against
the Repeal of the Stamp Act. FIRST PROTEST.
Parliament; at least can give no greater
power than he had himself. We have submitted to your lawsono
Compliment the lords. Not a wiser 01 proof of our acknowledgment of your power better body of men on earth. The deep re. to make them; rather an acknowledgment spect impressed on me by the instance I of their reasonableness, or of our own weak- have been witness to of their justice. They ness.-Post-office came as a matter of utility, have been misled by misinformation. Proof -was aided by the legislature. Mean to of my opinion of their goodness, in the freetake advantage of our ignorance. Children dom with which I propose to examine their should not be imposed on; are not, even by protests. honest shopkeepers. A great and magnani
The trust of taxing America was never mous nation should disdain to govern by reposed by the people of America in the letricks and traps, that would disgrace a pet- gislature of Great Britain. They had one tifogging attorney:
kind of confidence, indeed, in that legislaSettlement of the colonies stated. Par- ture—that it would never attempt to tax liament not consulted ;-not till after the them without their consent.
The law was restoration, except by rebel Parliament.-destructive of that confidence them.
among Anxious about preserving the sovereignty
Other advantages of colonies besides comof this country? Rather be so about pre
Selfishness of commercial views. serving the liberty. We shall be so about The sovereignty of the crown I underthe liberty of America, that your posterity stand. The sovereignty of the British legismay have a free country to come to, where lature out of Britain I do not understand. they will be received with open arms..
The fear of being thought weak is a timi. King, the sovereign, cannot take in his dity and weakness of the worst sort, as it be
trays into a persisting in errors, that may
be much more mischievous, than the appear. * In the ATHEN EUM at Philadelphia are many voJumes of pamphlets, which formerly belonged to Dr.
ance of weakness. A great and powerful Franklin. Some of these are curious from the manu- state, like this, has no cause for such timi. script notes they contain in the margin. A few
dity. specimens have been selected for publication, both as having an historical interest, and as being peculiarly Acknowledging and correcting an error characteristic of their author. It should here also be observed that the notes con small republics cannot afford to do so.
shows great magnanimity. Small states and tained in these pamphlets were penned at the very time when he was supposed, by some persons either
America not in the realm of England or unfriendly to his character or ignorant of his motives, Great Britain? No man in America thinks to be secretly acting a part in England more accorda himself exempt from the jurisdiction of the true lover of his country. From the tone, temper, and crown, and of the assemblies, or has any substance of these notes, let the reader judge with such private judgment. what justice such suspicions have been entertained, and such insinuations hazarded to the public. As The agitation of the question of rights mere private records of his thoughts, prompted by the makes it now necessary to settle a constiever seeing the light, they must be admitted to reveal tution for the colonies. Restrictions should his true sentiments, and to exhibit the unbiassed work be only for the general good. Endeavour to ings of his mind.
convince reasonable creatures by reason. The above “ HINTS" are found in the margin of Dr. Franklin's printed copy of the Protests, written at the Try your hands with me. time (1766), from which it would appear that it was Never think of it. They are reasonhis intention to make a formal answer to these Pro- able creatures. Reasonable laws will not This purpose, it is believed, was never exe
I observe two or three Scotch lords pro- ter be trusted. Have rather an interest in test. Many more voted against the repeal. suppressing smugglers. Nature of smugColonies settled before the union. Query; gling. It is picking of pockets. All oppresIf the Parliament had a jurisdiction over the sions take their rise from some plea of utility; colonies by the first settlement, had they a often in appearance only. right to introduce new legislators ? Could The clamour of multitudes. It is good to they sell or commute the right with other na- attend to it. It is wiser to foresee and avoid tions? Can they introduce the peers of Ire- it. It is wise, when neither foreseen nor land and Commons, and the States of Hol- avoided, to correct the measures that give ocland, and make them legislators of the colo- casion to it. Glad the majority have that nies? How could Scotland acquire a right wisdom. to legislation over English colonies, but by Wish your lordships had attended to that consent of the colonies themselves ? other great article of the palladium ; " Taxes
I am a subject of the crown of Great Bri- shall not be laid but by common consent in tain,-have ever been a loyal one-have Parliament.” We Americans were not here partaken of its favours. I write here with to give our consent. freedom, relying on the magnanimity of Par My duty to the king, and justice to my liament. I say nothing to your lordships, country, will, I hope, justify me, if I likethat I have not been indulged to say to the wise protest, which I now do with all huCommons. Your lordships' names are to mility, in behalf of myself and of every your Protest, therefore I think I ought to put American, and of our posterity, against your mine to the answer.-Desire what I have Declaratory Bill, that the Parliament of
not be imputed to the colonies. I Great Britain has not, never had, and of right am a private person, and do not write by their never can have, without consent, given either direction. I am over here to solicit, in be- before or after, power to make laws of suffihalf of my colony, a closer communication cient force to bind the subjects in America with the crown.
in any case whatever, and particularly in
taxation. SECOND PROTEST.
I can only judge of others by myself. I
have some little property in America. I will TALK with Bollan on this head. Query; freely spend nineteen shillings in the pound Courts of common law? Particular colo- to defend my right of giving or refusing the nies drained, -all drained, as it would all other shilling; and, after all, if I cannot decome home. Those, that would pay most fend that right, I can retire cheerfully with of the tax, would have least of it spent at my little family into the boundless woods of home. It must go to the conquered colonies. America, which are sure to afford freedom The view of maps deceives.
and subsistence to any man, who can bait a All breach of the constitution. Juries bet- hook, or pull a trigger.
PASSAGES IN A PAMPHLET ENTITLED “GOOD HUMOUR, OR A WAY
WITH THE COLONIES-LONDON 1766."*
« Tax reply of the Governor of Massachu- ward's turned out, their enemy and calumsetts to the assembly's answer is in the same niator in private letters to government here. consistent style ; and affords still a stronger proof, as well as of his own ingenuity, honour,
“ It had been more becoming the state of the and integrity, as of the furious and enthusiastic colonies, always dear to Britain, and ever chespirit of the province."
rished and defended by it, to have remonstrated
in terms of filial duty and obedience." They knew the governor to be, as it after
How ignorant is this writer of facts! How * The passages included within quotation marks many of their remonstrances were rejected ! are extracts from the pamphlet, and the sentence following each contains Dr. Franklin's observations. “ They must give us leave in our turn to ex