-my

A voice.

Three cheers for the swells.

"We live," said I, "in troublous times, but I hope we shall again resume our former proud position, and go on in our glorious career!"

Dr. Schwazey.-I'm willin' for one to go on in a glorious career? Will you join me, fellow citizens, in a glorious career? What wages does a man git for a glorious career, when he finds himself?

"DR. SCHWAZEY," said I sternly, "you are drunk. You're disturbin' the meetin"."

Dr. S.-Have you a banquet spread in the house? I should like a rhynossyross on the half shell, or a hippopotamus on toast, or a horse and wagon roasted whole. Anything that's handy. Don't put yourself out on my account.

At this pint the Band begun to make hidyous noises with their brass horns, and a exceedingly ragged boy wanted to know if there wasn't to be some wittles afore the concern broke up? I didn't exactly know what to do, and was just on the pint of doin' it, when a upper winder suddenly opened and a stream of hot water was bro't to bear on the disorderly crowd, who took the hint and retired at once.

When I am taken by surprise with another serenade, I shall, among other arrangements, have a respectful company on hand. So no more from me to-day. When this you see, remember me.

VII.

A ROMANCE.-WILLIAM BARKER, THE YOUNG

PATRIOT.

I.

"No, William Barker, you cannot have my daughter's hand in marriage until you are her equal in wealth and social position."

The speaker was a haughty old man of some sixty years, and the person whom he addressed was a finelooking young man of twenty-five.

With a sad aspect the young man withdrew from the stately mansion.

II.

Six months later the young man stood in the presence of the haughty old man.

"What! you here again?" angrily cried the old

man.

"Ay, old man," proudly exclaimed William Barker, I am here, your daughter's equal and yours?" The old man's lips curled with scorn. A derisive

K

smile lit up his cold features; when, casting violently upon the marbie centre table an enormous roll of greenbacks, William Barker cried

See! Look on this wealth. And I've tenfold more! Listen, old man! You spurned me from your door. But I did not despair. I secured a contract for furnishing the Army of the with beef"Yes, yes!" eagerly exclaimed the old man.

horses I could find

"I see! I see!" cried the old man.

beef they make, too."

"And good

'They do! they do! and the profits are immense." "I should say so!"

"And now, sir, I claim your daughter's fair hand!" "Boy, she is yours. But hold! Look me in the eye. Throughout all this have you been loyal?” "To the core !" cried William Barker.

"And," continued the old man, in a voice husky with emotion, "are you in favour of a vigorous prosecution of the war?"

"I am,

66

I am
!"

'Then, boy, take her! Maria, child, come hither. Your William claims thee. Be happy, my children! and whatever our lot in life may be, let us all support the Government!"

VIII.

A ROMANCE.-THE CONSCRIPT.

[Which may bother the reader a little, unless he is familiar with the music of the day.]

CHAPTER I.

PHILANDER REED struggled with spool-thread and tape in a dry-goods store at Ogdensburgh, on the St. Lawrence River, State of New York. He Rallied Round the Flag, Boys, and Hailed Columbia every time she passed that way. One day a regiment returning from the war Came Marching Along, bringing An Intelligent Contraband with them, who left the South about the time Babylon was a-Fallin', and when it was apparent to all well-ordered minds that the Kingdom was Coming, accompanied by the Day of Jubiloo. Philander left his spool thread and tape, rushed into the street, and by his Long-Tail Blue, said, "Let me kiss him for his Mother." Then, with patriotic jocularity, he inquired, "How is your High Daddy in the Morning?" to which Pomp of Cudjo's

Cave replied, "That poor Old Slave has gone to rest, we ne'er shall see him more! But U. S. G. is the man for me, or Any Other Man." Then he Walked Round.

"And your Master," said Philander, "where is he?"

"Massa's in the cold, cold ground-at least I hope so!" said the gay contraband.

"March on, March on all hearts rejoice!" cried the Colonel, who was mounted on a Bob-tailed nagon which, in times of Peace, my soul, O Peace! he had betted his money.

"Yaw," said a German Bold Sojer Boy," we don'tfights-mit-Segel as much as we did."

The regiment marched on, and Philander betook himself to his mother's Cottage near the Banks of that Lone River, and rebearsed the stirring speech he was to make that night at a war meeting.

"It's just before the battle, Mother," he said, “and I want to say something that will encourage Grant.”

CHAPTER II.—MABEL.

MABEL TUCKER was an orphan. Her father, Dan Tucker, was run over one day by a train of cars, though he needn't have been, for the kind-hearted engineer told him to Git Out of the Way.