Cabin" on a visit to the Britisher. . . . A "Helter Skelter Handicap," apropos of the doings in the circle, and another little matter, preceded the "great stake "-with its many victims. The Tradesmen's Plate had 216 nominations, and a field of 28. Trifle, at 3 to 1, was the favourite, a "half-bred" four-year-old gelding, with 5st. 12lbs. up-some baker's dozen beside were in the market. Off they went "anyhow"; and it is reported of Mr. Horsley, the starter, to his disparagement, that he was several yards behind them at the time. I should like to know who would have been "in their track "of his free-will and pleasure? As to being "beside" the gathering of young fiends, that could only have applied to the front rank; the rear rank was "squoze" against the rail on the whip and the bridle hand, and woe to him who "let" it. I remember being at the Castle Pole when Harkaway ran; when he charged his horses to cleave a way through, and was disappointed. The clash of legs was as the working of ten thousand anvils. Let the reader who has never witnessed the achievement of the Chester Cup imagine the Derby run for in the ring at Astley's, and he will have some idea of the ring on the Roodee at such a time. They have gone twice round, and are making the best of their way home. York shouted in an unknown tongue, and Manchester poured forth bad language. The big horses and the little boys "cannon," and "here they come by the distance, and Goldfinder's a-winning-I'm beggared if he aint." And so he did; and, to the best of my belief, was about the only animal of the 28 that neither prophet, "tip," nor "tout," stumbled on for a pick by any chance. Then came the scabies, the halt, and the wounded, and the play was played out. A couple of plates, with the "Scramble Handicap," apropos of the "getting up" Watergatestreet, and the gala was over. The fielders crowed like chanticleers, the list division shared the diggings, the "gentlemen" lost, and all came to a conclusion secundum artem. Little remains to re

cord other than that the "Calendar" will register. Sport there was plenty, but quality was at a premium. Plates with four-year-olds carrying 5st. 4lbs. are sorry sights. The Dee Stakes fell to the prowess of Orinoco, with 7st. 4lb. on him, and nothing to beat. The Cup for amateurs and professionals might conveniently be improved in its conditions; light weights greatly preponderated. There was a stake for which eight went, the highest weight 7st. 10lbs. in the handicaps, carried by a six-year-old. I do not, however, question the talent or shrewdness of the management. That the legitimate purposes of horseracing are to be served by substituting children for men in the saddle is quite another consideration. Betting is "the turf" at these particular presents. It was not the case when matches for thousands were wont to testify to the mettle it was made of.

On Tuesday, the 10th ult., fell the Second Spring Meeting at Newmarket. The bill of fare, as exhibited in the Book Calendar, was but a beggarly account; subsequently, indeed, made more full, but not of high flavour. Such disquisition, however, is, or presently as by the sequel to be shewn will be, out of place here. Whether the spring running threw any light upon the great problem solved on the Surrey Downs remains to be seen before the seal is set upon this sheet. The weather for the last vernal week on the Cambridgeshire Heath was propitious, if not quite up to imagination's average of May. A very summary epitome of the sport will suffice to speed us on our

pilgrimage to Epsom, rife with how many honey cells of memory! The opening day's list contained six passages of sporting, but they were small deer. They did their mission in the Ring-et voilà tout. In accordance with its conditions, the Whip-then held by Sir Robert Pigot-was duly challenged in the First Spring Meeting, to be run for on Tuesday in the First October Meeting, over the Beacon Course. The throwers of the glove were Lord Exeter with Stockwell, Mr. J. M. Stanley with Teddington, and the respective representatives of Kingston and Weathergage; out of which, with good luck, may be anticipated a good raceone of the olden time." Despite the cold-made more manifest by the scanty company-Wednesday had its compensation, five events, the Suffolk Handicap inclusive. For this the field was a low brand, and the issue a dead heat between Nutshell and Chief Baron Nicholson: the latter subsequently accepting £100 for allowing the former to walk over—a bad book compromise. The Rowley Mile Plate—once a Thursday feature-mustered a rough lot of nine, whereof Feversham was the best. The "talk" of the week was of changes, and progress, and the like. A new approach on the lower or Ely side of the heath would certainly be a move, or rather a remove, in the right direction; but how to render a grand stand available, where the termini of the courses are two or three miles apart, "remains to be seen"-as people politely speak of impossibilities. "About this time" there was racing at Shrewsbury"Pranked with the richest gems of memory's mine,

How gracious is that glimpse of auld lang syne'!"

And there was the Liverpool Hunt Club Spring Meeting too, celebrated upon the commons of Hoylake-within my recollection such a place as you may imagine a backwood prairie of the far west. Also upon the South Down, Lewes "was up and at it.' And, moreover, such may be said of other places and peoples-(the battle of the books has begun, and no quarter given.) With these there is neither necessity nor space to deal; and in similar category are about a score provincial trysts. But Bath and Manchester may crave a brief word. Whitsuntide brought some slight improvement in the weather, and all was earnest.

There was a heavy blow and great discouragement, however, to the course of the industrious, and that was the scanty supply of time in reference to the demand. As yet no arrangements have been made for racing by gas or other succedaneous light, and six days of twelve hours each are far from sufficient. However, as soon as the Crystal Palace Company succeeds in throwing open the seventh day for "innocent amusement," of course the great national sport will be admitted to a participation in the precedent. It is a popular " amusement," countenanced by the sovereign-and the only one contributed to out of the public funds; consequently its claim to be classed "innocent" can't be disputed. Bath, with fine weather, commanded a good company. The Somersetshire Handicap, ten others having started, Red Lion won, being an outsider. Beside this, the first day presented nothing of account-unless a four-year-old winning with 7st. 7lbs. on his back be an accountable performance. So much for the Tuesday. The following afternoon was also favourable, and favoured. The race was-of course handicapthe Dyrham Park Stakes, with a field of nineteen. The winner was Gossip, a goodly-famed one-the price being 7 to 2 against, age three years "off," weight 6st. 4lbs. Nothing else calls for note, save that which will serve here as running comment for the great event-viz.,

that 5 to 2 taken about West Australian for the Derby (with intense languor about anything else) sadly interfered with the ordinary effervescence of that myth seven days antecedent to its solution.

Manchester was contemporary with the closing day on Lansdowne. Longbow won the Meiklam Handicap, beating eight, with 7 to 4 on him; and the Union Cup, defeating a dozen. Thursday's interest centred in the Trade Cup (handicap), having 76 nominations, and 16 of them at the post. Chief Justice was the winner, and Talfourd the favourite, about whom they took 6 to 4. Friday's list, with a good amount of sport, contained nothing essentially interesting beyond the moment. Up to this point of time, West Australian is The Derby. For Epsom, the Electric Telegraph Company propose their wires. The provincial racing embraced several issues, but without claims for especial reference. During the week-in the Committee of Supply (Civil Service Estimates) -objection was made against public money given in aid of racing in Ireland and Scotland.

The great Epsom racing commenced on the 24th ult., and lastedthat is, was drawn out, to the 27th ditto. Tuesday was "melancholy," if it was not "gentlemanlike ;" and without one event of any amount of interest. The weather-now for many days strong sunshine, with easterly winds to match-was of that character, and its consequence, on the Derby anniversary. The dust was positively intolerable it didn't fly-it swept everything before it-more especially comfort; you may be sure pleasure was out of the question. And the income from the Grand Stand, the rent of the Downs for the occasion, and all the accessory et cetera, was so wretched that it wouldn't allow of even one solitary water-cart being commissioned to pour one drop of charity on that fair company's whereabouts. The list, for this world's Olympic, consisted of five issues, commencing at two P.M., with an hour between each. Oh it was pitiless hot! and then the sirocco! and then the society! a wilderness of black hats, all bawling the odds from beneath their brims. There wasn't one bonnet for fifteen hundred of those "shocking bad hats." I daresay there might be from sixty to eighty thousand bipeds present; but no equipage-no "four-in-hand, from Piccadilly-snugly seated in the dilly"-but all steam-drawn: looking as if they had been seated in the chimney. The course was as hard as a hearthstone; and as each race crossed each "road" respectively, it was out of sight in the dust diluvium. Why didn't they sprinkle these with a watering-pot? To tell you what was doing when the opening apology for a race-the Carew Stakes, of five pounds a-piece-was disposed of, and the last Derby agony was in its ultimate gasp, would be as if you inquired what everybody was talking about when the hands "struck" at the Tower of Babel. The telegraph announced twentyeight starters; and if you read about it in the newspapers-as of course you did-you learned that "the crack" (won't it be a convulsion!) was at 6 to 4; but the fact is, that those who had laid lengthy prices against West Australian were glad to take anything they could get. I know even money was gratefully accepted to a stalwart stake. After doing Astley's up and down in front of the Grand Stand-" Ladies and Gentlemen! they don't do nothing of the sort not at Newmarket, which it isn't no trading spec'lation!"-they adjourned to the paddock, where, after lounging about just to shake hands before the set-to, they wended their ways, slow and sly, "like everlasting serpents," to the post. The

start was perfection, that's a fact; and as soon as they began to race, say after the first furlong of the hill had been climbed, the field exhibited a "ruck" of horses, with Umbriel, Cheddar, and Cineas in front-the former undeniably making the running either for himself, or some neighbour from the North, and a trio tail'd, whereof Brocket was the tip, with West Australian half a length better. Now when they "got off" they did so in line, extending across-occupying the entire width of-the course, between the rails; so that, supposing the race run in this order from end to end, the whip-hand would have about a distance the worst of the inside cord-hugger. This "our Frank "knows quite as well as you and I; so Butler, he dodges their tracks till he spies an opening; shoves his bowsprit into it, and goes for the whole animal. At the Corner he slips them, and with his hands well down, and his heart well up, he wins! It was not a race, according to the professional reading of that term. True, Sittingbourne was only a neck behind him; but your true cavalier is chivalrously polite-and why not, when an inch is as good as a mile? As a Derby average, it was a low onecompared with some anniversaries within our memory, decidedly a very inferior one. "Plenipotentiary 1, Shillelagh 2, Glencoe 3"-that's something like a finish!"...... Of course all manner of mischief was up-and "who's to pay the piper for Listing'?" Capital galloping for the little fishes; and home in clouds of dissolved conglomerate. What won? West Australian. Where was Sittingbourne? Next him. What of John Day's-"Deluge"? Small beer. Cineas third, and Rataplan-according to The Times, termed "loose,"-without a jockey up, the only one of the lot so reported-fourth. The Times is immeasurably cheap at the price-only fivepence...... Thursday dittoed Tuesday nothing could exceed the smotheration of the atmosphere, except the dust. Dust to dust! Three such successive dustings let us do or die. So far the attempt has been a success. "The Fund!" where is it situated, drawing handsomely on the advance!......

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Oligarchy having ceded precedence to democracy, reaped as it had sown. The Derby"-the million's Saturnalia-was only smothered with dust: "The Oaks"-the anniversary of the select-was first suffocated with dry dirt, and then done to death by it in the solutioncalled mud. A day more completely the antithesis of a gentle al fresco than Friday, the 27th ult, cannot well be imagined. It will take generations of silkworms to restore the havoc that fell out. The hearts that broke with that thunder-storm upon their fondest hopes-their toilettes rich and rare-who may tell? The meeting on Epsom Downs closed with a list containing five items-miscellaneous plates and stakes of no account, save the race-place aux dames. For The Oaks-varium et mutabile semper, fœmina-at last 17 of the 143 nominations came to the post. The odds closed with but one point against Catherine Hayes, 5 to 4 being taken as the rule; exceptions, however, were done at even on her. 2 to 1 was about Mistletoe's price, 7 to 1 Mentmore Lass, and then decimals. The rehearsal or pageant or prologue was similar to that for the Derby, so was the start-quite perfect. As soon as the hill-summit was won, the two favourites took the business in hand, the first to give-in being Mistletoe. The run home from the corner was all "U P," the favourite leading and winning as she "listed" by a length and a moiety. Dove, one of Lord Exeter's nine nominations, was the second. The pace was either good, or the majority of the young ladies

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bad, for they did "a tail unfold" of awful longitude.......It is raining like Niagara-sauve qui peut. Since the days of the Romans, and before them, we may deduce from analogy-the canon of life, as our boyhood's classic declared-is, was, and no doubt will be, Tempora mutantur-nos et mutamur. Epsom is eminent in this category. The elements, representatives of the natural laws-the "Frankinsteins" of finance, standing (not unfrequently bolting) in similar reference to the moral, as opposed to the material code-are at war with its familiar characteristics. Here no longer, as of yore, "all is gentle and aristocratic." The weather was that of the tropics-out of joint. Thus reads the oracle-who shall interpret its import?...." Nature hath bran and meal"-that typifies the tag-rag and bobtail beneath "favouring skies" on Wednesday; "contempt and grace" is a dog-and-cat day-as Friday aforesaid-set before "the fairest of beauty's daughters."....

YACHTING.

BY A MOTHER CAREY'S CHICKEN.

“We are all fellow-serpents, walking about on the tips of our tails."

-ANONYMOUS.

In the preceding "yarn" of this series, we arrived at the conclusion. that yachting is in fact that is to say, is in short-yachting. We will now attempt to come at an equally satisfactory understanding as to what is "The Club"-of its executive. Is it part or parcel of a society constructively representing the whole? or is it the cause or effect of certain relations between certain persons and things? Best to deal with the former of these propositions, we proceed to show that our national forte should seem not to be construction-either literally or otherwiseby illustration, as "example is far beyond precept." There might be seen, not long ago, in the town of Taunton, a board, whereon was inscribed an advertisement, which recited......" This most eligible plot of frontage ground for building purposes, to let, on a lease, one hundred and seventy-five yards long."...

E. g. the second :-Copy of a note from the chamberlain of the poultry department at Park, to the Marchioness of --, Park

Lane :

"My Lady,

"I have the honour to forward the intelligence that The Emu has laid a egg; and that, in your Ladyship's absence, I have put it under a goose.

These are instances, literally, of constructive failure. Apropos to the matter of our muttons-construction-may be cited the cases of the Melbourne, Australian, and Adelaide, Royal Mail Company's packets, which would never steer straight under steam, and always steered crooked under canvas-perverse brutes-like those amphibii noticed by Mr. Charles Mathews, senior of that ilk, "that couldn't live on the land, and died in the water." In a constructive sense then, there is reason to fear" The Club" is a bungle.

Regarded as "the cause or effect of certain relations between certain