(looking fiercely, and clapping my hand upon the hilt, as I fpoke) when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I fhould have given him fuch a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with more haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm tone, like a perfon who was jealous left his courage should be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else befides a loud laughter, which all the respect due to his majefty from thofe about him could not make them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour among thofe, who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England fince my return, where a little contemptible varlet, without the leaft title to birth, perfon, wit, or common sense, shall prefume to look with importance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with fome ridiculous ftory; and Glumdalclitch, although the loved me to excefs, yet was arch enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that he thought would be diverting to her majefty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air about an hour's diftance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small foot

path

path in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling-box, I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I muit need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped fhort, and found myself just in the middle up to my knees. I waded through with fome difficulty, and one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief; for I was filthily bemired, and my nurse confined me to my box, till we returned home; where the queen was foon informed of what had paffed, and the footmen spread it about the court; fo that all the mirth for fome days was at my expence.

Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. He fhews his skill in music. The king enquires into the ftate of England, which the author relates to him. The king's obfervations thereon.

I
Ufed to attend the king's levee once or twice
a week, and had often feen him under the
barber's hand, which indeed was at firft very
terrible

In this chapter he gives an account of the political ftate of Europe. ORRERY.

This is a mistake of the noble commentator, for Gulliver has here given a political ac

count of no country but England: it is however a mistake to which any commentator would have been liable, who had read little more than the titles or contents of the chapters, into

terrible to behold: for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary scythe. His majefty, according to the cuftom of the country, was only fhaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me fome of the fuds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making feveral holes in it at equal distance with as fmall a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the ftumps fo artificially, fcraping and floping them with my knife towards the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a feafonable fupply, my own being fo much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless: neither did I know any artift in that country fo nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.

And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my leisure hours. I defired the queen's woman to fave for me the combings of her majefty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity, and confulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general orders to do little jobbs for me, I directed him to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and then 'to bore little holes with a fine awl round those parts where I defigned the backs and feats;

which this work is divided; for the word Europe has in fome English, and all the Irish, edi

tions been printed in the title of this chapter infead of England.

through

through these holes I wove the ftrongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane-chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a prefent of them to her majefty, who kept them in her cabinet, and used to fhew them for curiofities, as indeed they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have had me fit upon one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die a thousand deaths than place a dishonourable part of my body on those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewife made a neat little purse about five feet long, with her majefty's name decyphered in gold letters, which gave to Glumdalclitch by the queen's confent. To fay the truth, it was more for fhew than use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore he kept nothing in it but fome little toys that girls are fond of.

The king, who delighted in mufic, had frequent concerts at court, to which I was fometimes carried, and fet in my box on a table to hear them but the noife was fo great, that I could hardly diftinguish the tunes. I am confident, that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and founding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers fat, as far as I could, then to fhut the doors and windows of it,

and

and draw the window-curtains; after which I found their mufic not difagreeable.

A

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a mafter attended twice a week to teach her: I called it a fpinet, because it somewhat refembled that inftrument, and was played upon in the fame manner. fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the king and queen with an English tune upon this inftrument. But this appeared extremely difficult for the fpinet was near fixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, fo that with my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them down required a good smart ftroak with my fift, which would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this: I prepared two round sticks about the bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with a piece of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on them, I might neither damage the tops of the keys, nor interrupt the found. Before the fpinet a bench was placed about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran fideling upon it that way and this, as faft as I could, banging the proper keys with my two fticks, and made a fhift to play a jigg to the great fatisfaction of both their majefties: but it was the most violent exercife I ever underwent, and yet I could not ftrike above fixteen VOL. II. keys,

M