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And swore the rambles that I took by night
Were all to spy what damsels they bedight:
That colour brought me many hours of mirth;
For all this wit is given us from our birth.
Hear'n gave to woman the peculiar grace
To spio, to weep, and cully human race.
By this nice conduct and this prudent course,
By murm'ring, wheedling, stratagem, and force,
I still prevaild, and would be in the right;
Or curtain-lectures made a restless night.
If once my husband's arm was o'er my side,
• What! so familiar with your spouse?' I cried :
I levied first a tax upon his need;
Then let himn—'twas a nicety indeed!
Let all mankind this certain maxim hold,
Marry who will, our sex is to be sold.
With empty hands no tassels you can lure,
But fulsome love for gain we can endure;
For gold we love the impotent and old,
And heave, and pant, and kiss, and cling, for gold.
Yet with embraces curses oft I mixt,
Then kiss'd again, and chid, and rail'd betwixt.
Well, I may make my will in peace, and die,
For not one word in man's arrears am I.
To drop a dear dispute I was upable,
Ev’n though the Pope himself had sat at table;
But when my point was gain'd, then thus I spoke :
· Billy, my dear! how sheepishly you look:
Approach, my spouse! and let me kiss thy cheek;
Thou shouldst be always thus, resign’d and meek.
Of Job's great patience since so oft you preach,
Well should yon practise who so well can teach.
"Tis difficult to do, I must allow,
But I, my dearest, will instruct you how.
Great is the blessing of a prudent wife,
Who puts a period to domestic strife.
One of us two must rule, and one obey;
And since in man right reason bears the sway, I
Let that frail thing, weak woman, have her way.)
The wives of all my family bave ruld
Their tender husbands, and their passions cool'd.
Fye! 'tis unmanly thus to sigh and groan :
What! would you have me to yourself alone?
Why, take me, love! take all and every part!
Here's your revenge! you love it at your heart.
Would I vouchsafe to sell what nature gave,
You little think what custom I could have.
But see! I'm all your own-day, hold for shame!
What means my dear?-indeed-you are to blame'
Thus with my first three lords I pass'd n.y life,
A very woman and a very wife.
What sums from these old spouses I conld raise
Procur'd young husbands in my riper days.
Though past my bloom, pot yet decay'd was I,
Wanton and wild, anii chatter'd like a pie.
In country dances still I bore the bell,
And sụng as sweet as evening Philomel.
To clear my quail-pipe, and refresh my soul,
Full oft I drain'd the spicy nut-brown bowl;
Rich luscious wines, that youthful blood improve,
And warm the swelling veins to feats of love :
For 'tis as sure as cold engenders hail,
A liquorisb mouth must have a lecherous tail:
Wine Jets no lover uprewarded go,
As all true gamesters by experience know.
But oh, good gods! whene'er a thought I cast On all the joys of youth and beauty past, To find in pleasures I have had my part, Still warms me to the bottom of my heart.
This wicked world was once my dear delight;
Now all my conquests, all my charms, good night!
The floor consum'd, the best that now I can
Is ev'n to make my market of the bran.
My fourth dear spouse was not exceeding true;
He kept, 'twas thought, a private miss or two:
But all that score I paid.As how? you'll say.
Not with my body, in a filthy way;
But so I dress'd, and danc'd, and drank, and din'd,
And view'd a friend with eyes so very kind,
As stung his beart, and made his marrow fry
With burning rage and frantic jealousy.
His soul, I hope, enjoys eternal glory,
For here on earth I was his purgatory.
Oft, when his shoe the most severely wrung,
He put on careless airs, and sat and sung.
How sore I gall'd him only heav'n could know,
And he that felt, and I that caus'd the woe:
He died when last from pilgrimage I came,
With other gossips, froni Jerusalem;
And now lies buried underneath a rood,
Fair to be seen, and rear'd of honest wood:
A tomb, indeed, with fewer sculptures grac'd
Than that Mausolus' pious widow plac'd,
Or where enshrin'd the great Darius lay;
But cost on graves is merely thrown away.
The pit fill'd up, with turf we cover'd o'er;
So bless the good man's soul! I say no more.
Now for my fifth lov'd lord, the last and best; (Kind Heav'n afford him everlasting rest!) Full hearty was his love, and I can shew The tokens on my ribs in black and blue; Yet with a knack my heart he could have wony While yet the smart was shooting in the bone.
How quaint an appetite in woman reigns!.
Free gifts we scorn, and love what costs us pains :
Let men avoid us, and on them we leap;
A glutted market makes provision cheap.
In pure good-will I took this jovial spark,
Of Oxford be, a most egregious clerk.
He boarded with a widow in the town,
A trusty gossip, one dame Alison;
Full well the secrets of my soul she knew,
Better than e'er our parish priest could do.
To her I told whatever could befal:
Had but my Irusband piss'd against a wall,
Or done a thing that might have cost his life,
She--and my niece-and one more worthy wife,
Had known it all: what most he would conceal,
To these I made no scruple to reveal.
Oft has he blush'd from ear to ear for shame
That e'er he told a secret to his dame.
It so befel, in holy time of Lent,
That oft a-day I to this gossip went;
(My husband, thank my stars, was out of town)
From house to house we rambled up and down,
This elerk, myself, and my good neighbour Alse,
To see, be seen, to tell, and gather tales.
Visits to every church we daily paid,
And march'd in every holy masquerade;
The stations duly and the vigils kept,
Not much we fasted, but scarce ever slept.
At sermons, too, I shone in scarlet gay:
The wasting moth ne'er spoil'd my best array;
The cause was this, I wore it every day.
'Twas when fresh May her early blossoms yields,
This clerk and I were walking in the fields.
We grew so intimate, I can't tell how,
I pawn'd my honour, and engag'd my vow,
If e'er I laid my husband in his urn,
That he, and only he, should serve my turn.
We straight struck bands, the bargain was agreed;
I still have shifts against a time of need.
The mouse that always trusts to one poor hole
Can never be a mouse of any sonl.
Ivow'd I scarce could sleep since first I knew him,
And durst be sworo be had bewitch'd me to him;
If e'er I slept I dream'd of him alone,
And dreams foretel, as learn'd men have shown:
All this I said ; but dreams, sirs, I had none : )
I follow'd but my crafty crony's lore,
Who bid me tell this lie-and twenty more.
Thus day by day, and month by month we past; It pleas'd the Lord to take my spouse at last. I tore my gown, I soild my locks with dust, And beat my breasts, as wretched widows-must, Before my face my handkerchief I spread, To hide the floods of tears I did not shed. The good man's coffin to the church was borne; Around the neighbours, and my clerk too, mourn : But as he march'd, good gods ! he show'd a pair Of legs and feet so clean, so strong, so fair! Of twenty winter's age he seem'd to be; I (to say truth) was twenty more than he ; But vigorous still, a lively buxom dame, And had a wondrous gift to quench a flame. A conjurer once, that deeply could divine, Assurd me Mars in Taurus was my sign. As the stars orderd, such my life has been : Alas, alas ! that ever love was sin! Fair Venus gave me fire and sprightly grace, And Mars assurance and a dauntless face. By virtue of this pow'rful constellation, I follow'd always my own inclinatiob.