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a kingly government, should escape the penalty or in the trammels of Wealth, but not eternally of death, whenever it can be inflicted, any more his sycophant and his pander. than those who decoy men into slave-ships.

Plato. What a land is Attica! in which the Plato. Supposing me to have done it, I have kings themselves were the mildest and best citiused no deception.

zens, and resigned the sceptre; deeming none Diogenes. What! is it no deception to call peo- other worthy of supremacy than the wisest and ple out of their homes, to offer them a good supper most warlike of the immortal Gods. In Attica and good beds if they will go along with thee; to the olive and corn were first cultivated. take the key out of the house-door, that they Diogenes. Like other Athenians, thou art idly may not have the trouble of bearing the weight fond of dwelling on the antiquity of the people, of it; to show them plainly through the window and wouldst fain persuade thyself, not only that the hot supper and comfortable bed, to which the first corn and olive, but even that the first indeed the cook and chamberlain do beckon and man, sprang from Attica. I rather think that invite them, but inform them however on enter- what historians call the emigration of the Pelas ing, it is only on condition that they never stir a gians under Danaüs, was the emigration of those foot beyond the supper-room and bed-room ; to shepherds,' as they continued to be denominated, be conscious, as thou must be, when they desire who, having long kept possession of Egypt, were to have rather their own key again, eat their own besieged in the city of Aoudris, by Thoutmosis

, lentils, sleep on their own pallet, that thy friends and retired by capitulation. These probably were the cook and chamberlain have forged the title of Chaldaic origin. Danaüs, like every wise legis deeds, mortgaged the house and homestead, given lator, introduced such religious rites as were the lentils to the groom, made a horse-cloth of adapted to the country in which he settled. The the coverlet and a manger of the pallet ; that, on ancient being once relaxed, admission was made the first complaint against such an apparent gradually for honouring the brave and beneficent, injury (for at present they think and call it one), who in successive generations extended the the said cook and chamberlain seize them by the boundary of the colonists, and defended them hair, strip, scourge, imprison, and gag them, against the resentment and reprisal of the native showing them through the grating what capital chieftains. dishes are on the table for the more deserving, Plato. This may be; but evidence is wanting. what an appetite the fumes stir up, and how sen- Diogenes. Indeed it is not quite so strong and sible men fold their arms upon the breast con- satisfactory as in that piece of history, where thou tentedly, and slumber soundly after the carousal. maintainest that each of us is the half of a man."

Plato. People may exercise their judgment. By Neptune ! a vile man too, or the computation

Diogenes. People may spend their money. All were overcharged. people have not much money; all people have Plato. We copy these things from old traditions | not much judgment. It is cruel to prey or im- Diogenes. Copy rather the manners of antiquity pose on those who have little of either. There is than the fables; or copy those fables only which nothing so absurd that the ignorant have not convey the manners. That one man was cut off believed : they have believed, and will believe for another, is a tradition little meriting preservation. ever, what thou wouldst teach : namely, that Any old woman who drinks and dozes, could reothers who never saw them, never are likely to cite to us more interesting dreams, and worthier see them, will care more about them than they of the Divinity. should care about themselves. This pernicious Surely thy effrontery is of the calmest and most fraud begins with perverting the intellect, and philosophical kind, that thou remarkest to me s proceeds with seducing and corrupting the affec- want of historic evidence, when I offered a sugtions, which it transfers from the nearest to the gestion; and when thou thyself hast attributed to most remote, from the dearest to the most indif- Solon the most improbable falsehoods on the an:ferent. It enthrals the freedom both of mind and quity and the exploits of your ancestors, telling as body; it annihilates not only political and moral, that time had 'obliterated these 'memorable' annals. but, what nothing else however monstrous can do, What is obliterated at home, Solon picks up fresh even arithmetical proportions, making a unit and vivid in Egypt. An Egyptian priest, the more than a million. Odious is it in a parent to oldest and wisest of the body, informs him that murder or sell a child, even in time of famine : but to sell him in the midst of plenty, to lay his than the imagination of Plato and the imagination of

* In the Banquet. No two qualities are more dissimilar throat at the mercy of a wild and riotous despot, Shakspeare. The Androgyne was probably of higher antito whet and kiss and present the knife that immo- quity than Grecian fable. Whencesoever it originated, lates him, and to ask the same favour of being we can not but wonder how Shakspeare met with it

. In immolated for the whole family in perpetuity, is his King John, the citizen of Angers says of the Lady not this an abomination ten thousand times more

Blanche and of the Dauphin, execrable ?

“ He is the half-part of a blessed man,

Left to be finished by such a she ; Let Falsehood be eternally the enemy of Truth,

And she a fair divided excellence but not eternally her mistress : let Power be eter

Whose fulness of perfection lies in him." nally the despiser of Weakness, but not eternally What is beautiful in poetry may be infantine in philost her oppressor : let Genius be eternally in the train phy, and monstrous in physics.


Athens was built a thousand years before Sais, by on you the accusation of employing any language the goddess Neithes, as they call her, but as we, or any sentiments but your own, unquestionably Athenè, who received the seed of the city from the the purest and most genuine Sinopèan. Earth and Vulcan. The records of Athens are Diogenes. Welcome to another draught of it, lost, and those of Sais mount up no higher than my courteous guest! By thy own confession, or eight thousand years. Enough to make her talk rather thy own boast, thou stolest every idea thy like an old woman.

voluminous books convey; and therefore thou I have, in other places and on other occasions, wouldst persuade us that all other ideas must remarked to those about me many, if not equal have an archetype ; and that God himself, the and similar, yet gross absurdities in thy writings. Demiurgos, would blunder and botch without one.

Plato. Gently! I know it. Several of these, Now can not God, by thy good leave, gentle Plato! supposing them to be what you denominate them, quite as easily form a thing as conceive it? and are originally from others, and from the gravest execute it as readily at once as at twice? Or hath

he rather, in some slight degree, less of plastic Diogenes. Gross absurdities are usually of that power than of mental ? Seriously, if thou hast parentage: the idle and weak produce but petty received these fooleries from the Egyptian priests, ones, and such as gambol at theatres and fairs. prythee, for want of articles more valuable to Thine are good for nothing : men are too old, and bring among us, take them back on thy next children too young, to laugh at them. There is voyage, and change them against the husk of a no room for excuse or apology in the adoption of pistachio dropt from the pouch of a sacred ape. another's foolery. Imagination may heat a writer Thy God is like thyself, as most men's Gods to such a degree, that he feels not what drops are: he throws together a vast quantity of stuff, from him or clings to him of his own : another's and leaves his work people to cut it out and tack is taken up deliberately, and trimmed at leisure. it together, after their own fashion and fancy. I will now proceed with thee. I have heard it These demons or genii are mischievous and fanaffirmed (but, as philosophers are the affirmers, tastical imps : it would have been better if they the assertion may be questioned), that there is had always sitten with their hands before them, not a notion or idea, in the wide compass of thy or played and toyed with one another, like the works, originally thy own.

young folks in the garden of Academus. As Plato. I have made them all mine by my man- thou hast modified the ideas of those who went ner of treating them.

before thee, so those who follow thee will modify Diogenes. If I throw my cloak over a fugitive thine. The wiser of them will believe, and reaslave to steal him, it is so short and strait, so sonably enough, that it is time for the Demiurgos thread bare and chinky, that he would be recog- to lay his head upon his pillow, after heating his nised by the idlest observer who had seen him brains with so many false conceptions, and to let seven years ago in the market-place : but if thou the world go on its own way, without any anxiety hadst enveloped him in thy versicoloured and or concern. cloudlike vestiary, puffed and effuse, rustling and Beside, would not thy dialogues be much betrolling, nobody could guess well what animal was ter and more interesting, if thou hadst given under it, much less what man. And such a tissue more variety to the characters, and hadst introwould conceal a gang of them, as easily as it duced them conversing on a greater variety of would a parsley-bed, or the study yonder of young topics ? Thyself and Prodicus, if thou wouldst Demosthenes. Therefore, I no more wonder that not disdain to meet him, might illustrate the thou art tempted to run in chase of butterflies, nature of allegory, might explain to your audience and catchest many, than I am at discovering that where it can enter gracefully, and where it must thou breakest their wings and legs by the weight be excluded : we should learn from you, perhaps, of the web thou throwest over them; and that we under whose guidance it first came into Greece : find the head of one indented into the body of whether anyone has mentioned the existence of another, and never an individual retaining the it in the poems of Orpheus and Musæus (now 80 colour or character of any species. Thou hast lost that we possess no traces of them), or whether indeed, I am inclined to believe, some ideas of it was introduced by Homer, and derived from thy own : for instance, when thou tellest us that the tales and mythology of the East. Certainly a well-governed city ought to let her walls go to he has given us for deities such personages as sleep along the ground. Pallas forbid that any were never worshipped in our country; some he city should do it where thou art! for thou wouldst found, I suspect, in the chrysalis state of metasurely deflower her, before the soldiers of the phors, and hatched them by the warmth of his enemy could break in on the same errand. The genius into allegories, giving them a strength of poets are bad enough: they every now and then wing by which they were carried to the summit want a check upon them : but there must be an of Olympus. Euripides and Aristophanes might eternal vigilance against philosophers. Yet I discourse upon comedy and tragedy, and upon would not drive you all out the city-gates, be that species of poetry which, though the earliest cause I fain would keep the country parts from and most universal, was cultivated in Attica with pollution.

little success until the time of Sophocles. Plato. Certainly, 0 Diogenes, I can not retort Plato. You mean the Ode.

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Diogenes. I do. There was hardly a corner of| There are many who marry from utter indiGreece, hardly an islet, where the children of gence of thought, captivated by the playfulness Pallas were not called to school and challenged of youth, as if a kitten were never to be a cat! by choristers.

Socrates was an unlikely man to have been under Plato. These disquisitions entered into no por- so sorrowful an illusion. Those among you who tion of my plan.

tell us that he married the too handy Xantippe Diogenes. Rather say, ill-suited thy genius; for the purpose of exercising his patience, turn having laid down no plan whatever for a series of him from a philosopher into a fool. We should dialogues. School-exercises, or, if thou pleasest be at least as moderate in the indulgence of those to call them so, disquisitions, require no such form matters which bring our patience into play, as in as thou hast given to them, and they block up the indulgence of any other. It is better to be the inlets and outlets of conversation, which, to sound than hard, and better to be hard than seem natural, should not adhere too closely to one callous. subject. The most delightful parts both of philo- Plato. Do you say that, Diogenes ? sophy and of fiction might have opened and ex- Diogenes. I do say it; and I confess to thee that panded before us, if thou hadst selected some fifty I am grown harder than is well for me. Thou or sixty of the wisest, most eloquent, and most wilt not so easily confess that an opposite course facetious, and hadst made them exert their abili- of life hath rendered thee callous. Frugality and ties on what was most at their command. severity must act upon us long and uninterrupt

Plato. I am not certain that I could have given edly before they produce this effect : pleasure and to Aristophanes all his gaiety and humour. selfishness soon produce the other. The red-hot

Diogenes. Art thou certain thou hast given to iron is but one moment in sending up its fumes Socrates all his irony and perspicacity, or even all from the puddle it is turned into, and in losing his virtue ?

its brightness and its flexibility. Plato. His virtue I think I have given him fully. Plato. I have admitted your definitions, and

Diogenes. Few can comprehend the whole of now I accede to your illustrations. But illustra it, or see where it is separated from wisdom. tions are pleasant merely; and definitions are Being a philosopher, he must have known that easier than discoveries. marriage would render him less contemplative Diogenes. The easiest things in the world when and less happy, though he had chosen the most they are made : nevertheless thou hast given us beautiful, the most quiet, the most obedient, and some dozens, and there is hardly a complete ors most affectionate woman in the world ; yet he just one on the list; hardly one that any wench, preferred what he considered his duty as a citizen watching her bees and spinning on Hymettus, to his peace of mind.

might not have corrected. Plato. He might hope to beget children in Plato. As you did, no doubt, when you threw sagacity like himself.

into my school the cock you had stripped of its Diogenes. He can never have hoped it at all, feathers. or thought about it as became him. He must Diogenes. Even to the present day, neither have observed that the sons of meditative men thou nor any of thy scholars have detected the are usually dull and stupid ; and he might foresee fallacy. that those philosophers or magistrates whom their Plato. We could not dissemble that our defini father had excelled would be, openly or covertly, tion was inexact. their enemies.

Diogenes. I do not mean that. Plato. Here then is no proof of his prudence Plato. What then ? or his virtue. True indeed is your remark on the Diogenes. I would remark that neither thoa children of the contemplative; and we have nor thy disciples found me out. usually found them rejected from the higher Plato. We saw you plainly enough : we heard offices, to punish them for the celebrity of their you too, crying, Behold Plato's man! fathers.

Diogenes. It was not only a reproof of thy Diogenes. Why didst not thou introduce thy temerity in definitions, but a trial of the facility preceptor arguing fairly and fully on some of with which a light and unjust ridicule of them these topics ? Wert thou afraid of disclosing his would be received. inconsistencies? A man to be quite consistent Plato. Unjust perhaps not, but certainly rude must live quite alone. I know not whether and vulgar. Socrates would have succeeded in the attempt; Diogenes. Unjust, I repeat it: because thy de I only know I have failed.

finition was of man as nature formed him, and Plato. I hope, most excellent Diogenes, I shall the cock, when I threw it on the floor, was no not be accused of obstructing much longer so longer as nature had formed it. Thou art accusdesirable an experiment.

tomed to lay down as peculiarities the attributes Diogenes. I will bear with thee some time yet. that belong, equally or nearly, to several things The earth is an obstruction to the growth of or persons. seed; but the seed can not grow well without it. Plato. The characteristic is not always the When I have done with thee, I will dismiss thee definition, nor meant to be accepted for it. I bare with my usual courtesy.

called tragedy δημοτερπέστατον, most delightful to

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the people,' and yuxaywylkúratov, ‘most agitating Tigers and serpents seize on the unwary, and to the soul :' no person can accuse me of laying inflict deadly wounds : tigers from sport or down these terms as the definition of tragedy. hunger, serpents from fear or hurt: neither of The former is often as applicable to rat-catching, them from malice, neither of them from hatred. and the latter to cold-bathing. I have called the Dogs indeed and horses do acquire hatred in dog dibuabes, ‘fond of acquiring information,' their domestic state: they had none originally: and piadoopov, “fond of wisdom ;' but I never have they must sleep under man's roof before they denied that man is equally or more.

share with him his high feeling : that high Diogenes. Deny it then instantly. Every dog feeling which renders him the destroyer of his has that property ; every man has not: I mean own kind, and the devourer of his own heart. the pinbuales. The boopov is false in both We are willing to consider both revenge and envy cases; for words must be taken as they pass cur- as much worse blemishes in the character than rent in our days, and not according to any ancient malice. Yet for one who is invidious there are acceptation. The author of the Margites says, six or seven who are malicious, and for one who is Tóvd'out' Lu orarlhece Fide Siou our' agorñqa,

revengeful there are fifty. In revenge there must "Ουτ’ άλλως τι σοφόν.

be something of energy, however short-breathed

and indeterminate. Many are exempt from it Here certainly the copós has no reference to the because they are idle and forgetful; more, because higher intellectual powers, as with us, since he is they are circumspect and timid; but nothing placed by the poet among delvers and ploughmen. hinders the same people from being malicious. The compound word Quadgopos did not exist when Envy, abominable as we call her, and as she is, the author of Margites wrote; and the lover of often stands upon a richly-figured base, and is to wisdom, in his days, was the lover of the country. be recognised only by the sadness with which she Her aspirants, in ours, are quarreling and fighting leans over the emblems of power and genius. in the streets about her; and nevertheless, while The contracted heart of Malice can never swell to they rustle their Asiatic robes around them, leave sadness. Seeing nothing that she holds desirable, her as destitute, as naked, and as hungry as they she covets nothing; she would rather the exfound her.

tinction than the possession of what is amiable; Plato. Did your featherless cock render her she hates high and low, bad and good, coldly perany service?

tinacious and lazily morose. Diogenes. Yes.

Thou, Plato, who hast cause to be invidious of Plato. I corrected and enlarged the definition not many, art of nearly all : and thy wit pays the without your assistance.

fine, being rendered thereby the poorest I know Diogenes. Not without it: the best assistance in any Athenian ambitious of it. is the first, and the first was the detection of Plato. If the fact be thus, the reason is different. insufficiency and error. Thy addition was, 'that Diogenes. What is it then? man has broad nails :' now art thou certain that Plato. That every witticism is an inexact all monkeys have sharp and round ones? I have thought: that what is perfectly true is imperfectly heard the contrary; and I know that the mole witty : and that I have attended more sedulously has them broad and flat.

and more successfully to verity. Plato. What wouldst thou say man is, and other Diogenes. Why not bring the simplicity of animals are not?

truth into the paths of life? why not try whether Diogenes. I would say, lying and malicious. it would look as becomingly in actions as in words ;

Plato. Because he alone can speak; he alone in the wardrobe and at table as in deductions and can reflect.

syllogisms? why not demonstrate to the youth of Diogenes. Excellent reasons ! If speech be the Athens that thou in good earnest canst be concommunication of what is felt, made by means of tented with a little ? the voice, thinkest thou other creatures are mute? Plato. So I could, if the times required it. All that have legs, I am inclined to believe, have Diogenes. They will soon; and we should at voices : whether fishes have, I know not. Thou least be taught our rudiments, before a hard lesson wouldst hardly wish me to take the trouble of is put into our hands. demonstrating that men lie, both before their Plato. This makes me think again that your metamorphosis into philosophers and after : yet grammatical knowledge, 0 Diogenes! is exten. perhaps thou mayst wish to hear wherefore, if sive. The plain and only sense of the second other animals reason and reflect (which is proved verse . . in them by apprehending mischief and avoiding Diogenes. What second verse ? Were we talkit, and likewise by the exertion of memory), they ing of any such things? are not also malicious.

Plato. Yes, just now. Plato. Having kept in their memory an evil Diogenes. I had forgotten it. received, many of them evince their malice, by Plato. How! forgotten the Margites! The attacking long afterward those who did it. meaning of the words is, 'nor fit for anything else.'

Diogenes. This is not malice, in man or beast. Homer in like manner uses eidús very frequently, Malice is ill-will without just cause, and desire to to indicate mere manual skill. The spirit of injure without any hope of benefiting from it. I inquiry, the dibuates, we take upon ourselves with the canine attributes : we talk of indagating, cast of a die thy throne and life." This is related by Plu

tarch in his Ethics. Some men may think forgery no very of investigating, of questing.

heinous crime, but all must think it an act of dishonesty; Diogenes. I know the respect thou bearest to the and kings (whose moral scale is nowhere an exact one) dogly character, and can attribute to nothing else would be likely to hold it in greater reprobation than any the complacency with which thou hast listened to thing but treason and insurrection. Had the accusation me since I released thy cloak. If ever the Athe-been true, or credited, or made at the time, the Athenians nians, in their inconstancy, should issue a decree would not have tolerated so long his residence among

them, severe as he was on their manners, and peculiarly to deprive me of the appellation they have con- contemptuous and contumelious toward the orators and ferred on me, rise up, I pray thee, in my defence, philosophers; Plato for instance, and afterward Deand protest that I have not merited so severe a mosthenes. Here however we may animadvert on the mulct. Something I do deserve at thy hands; inaccuracy of attributing to him the reply, when somehaving supplied thee, first with a store of patience, seen him, that he thought him a madman. Diogenes

body asked him what he thought of Socrates as having when thou wert going without any about thee, was but twelve years old at the death of Socrates, and did although it is the readiest viaticum and the not leave Sinope till long after. The answer, we may conheartiest sustenance of human life ; and then with ceive, originated from the description that Plato in many weapons from this tub, wherewith to drive the of his dialogues had given of his master. Among the

faults of Plato he ridiculed his affectation of new words, importunate cock before thee out of doors again. unnecessary and inelegant; for instance his coinage of

TOCTISOTns and muc.forms, which Plato defended very Diogenes Laertius, biographer of the Cynic, is among the frigidly, telling him that, although he had eyes to see a most inelegant and injudicious writers of antiquity; yet cup and a table, he had not understanding for cuppeity his book is highly valuable for the anecdotes it preserves. and tableity; and it indeed must be an uncommon one. No philosopher or other man more abounded in shrewd Plato himself, the most invidious of the Greek writers, wit than the philosopher of Sinope, whose opinions have says that he was another Socrates, but a mad one ; meanbeen somewhat misunderstood, and whose memory hath ing (no doubt) that he was a Socrates when he spoke suffered much injustice. One Diocles, and afterward generally, a mad one when he spoke of him. Among his Eubulides, mention him (it appears) as baving been ex. hearers was Phocion: a fact which alone would set aside pelled from Sinope for counterfeiting money: and his the tale of his adversaries, a thousand times repeated by biographer tells us that he has recorded it of himself. His their readers, about his public indulgence in certain immowords led astray these authors. He says that he marked ralities which no magistrature would tolerate. false money : for an equivoke was ever the darling of

Late in life he was taken by pirates, and sold to Xeniades Diogenes, and, by the marking of false money, he means the Corinthian, whose children he educated, and who only that he exposed the fallacies of pretenders to virtue declared that a good genius had entered his house in and philosophy. Had he been exiled for the crime of Diogenes. Here he died. A contest arose, to whom forgery, Alexander of Macedon, we may well suppose, among his intimates and disciples should be allowed the would not have visited him, would not have desired him distinction of supplying the expenses of his funeral: por to ask any favour he chose, would not have declared that was it settled till the fathers of his auditors and the leaders if he were not Alexander, he would fain have been Diogenes. of the people met together, and agreed to bury him at the He did not visit him from an idle curiosity, for he had public charge at the gate of the Isthmus: the most reseen him before in his father's camp on his first invasion markable spot in Greece, by the assemblage of whose of Greece, where he was apprehended as a spy, and, being bravest inhabitants it was made glorious, and sacred by brought before the king, exclaimed, “I am indeed a spy; the games in honour of her gods. a spy of thy temerity and cupidity, who hazardest on the


Newton. I come, sir, before you with fear and friend ! this unmerited praise confounds me. trembling, at the thoughts of my examination can not calculate the powers of my mind, otherto-morrow. If the masters are too hard upon me, wise than by calculating the time I require to I shall never take my degree. How I passed as compass anything. bachelor I can not tell : it must surely have been Barrow. Quickness is among the least of the by especial indulgence.

mind's properties, and belongs to her in almost Barrow. My dear Isaac ! do not be dispirited. her lowest state: nay, it doth not abandon her The less intelligent of the examiners will break when she is driven from her home, when she is their beaks against the gravel, in trying to cure wandering and insane. The mad often retain it: the indigestions and heart-burnings your plen- the liar has it, the cheat has it: we find it on teousness has given them : the more intelligent the race-course and at the card-table : education know your industry, your abilities, and your mo- does not give it, and reflection takes away from it. desty: they would favour you, if there were need Newton. I am slow; and there are many parts of favour, but you, without compliment, surpass of ordinary learning yet unattained by me. them all.

Barrow. I had an uncle, a sportsman, who said Newton. O sir ! forbear, forbear! I fear I may that the light dog beats over most ground, bat have forgotten a great deal of what you taught me. the heavier finds the covey.

Barrow. I wonder at that. I am older than Newton. Oftentimes indeed have I submitted you by many years ; I have many occupations to you problems and possibilities . . and distractions ; my memory is by nature less Barrow. And I have made you prove them. retentive; and yet I have not forgotten anything Newton. You were contented with me; all may you taught me.

not be. Newton. Too partial tutor, too benevolent Barrow. All will not be : many would be more

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