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from a pretty girl a bracelet or locket, or other myself am; in despite of your inquisitive eye. such trifle ?
My opinion of your wisdom is only shaken by your Anacreon. Not without her permission, and assumption of royalty, since I cannot think it an some equivalent.
act of discretion to change tranquillity for alarm, Polycrates. I likewise have obtained the con- or friends for soldiers, or a couch for a throne, or sent of the people, and have rendered them a great a sound sleep for a broken one. If you doubt deal more than an equivalent. Formerly they whether I love you (and every prince may reasoncalled one another the most opprobrious names ably entertain that doubt of every man around in their assemblies, and sometimes even fought him), still you can not doubt that I am attached to there ; now they never do. I entertained from your good fortune, in which I have partaken to my the very beginning so great a regard for them, heart's content, and in which I hope to continue & that I punished one of my brothers with death, partaker. and the other with banishment, for attempting Polycrates. May the Gods grant it? to make divisions among them, and for imped- Anacreon. Grant it yourself, Polycrates, by ing the measures I undertook to establish una- following my counsel. Everything is every man's nimity and order. My father had consented to over which his senses extend. What you can enjoy bear alone all the toils of government; and filial is yours; what you can not, is not. Of all the islands piety induced me to imitate his devotion to the in the world the most delightful and the most fercommonwealth. The people had assembled to tile is Samos. Crete and Cyprus are larger; what celebrate the festival of Juno, and had crowded then? The little Teios, my own native country, the avenues of her temple so unceremoniously and affords more pleasure than any one heart can reindecorously, that I found it requisite to slay a ceive : not a hill in it but contains more beauty few hundreds to her glory. King Lygdamus of and more wine than the most restless and active Naxos lent me his assistance in this salutary could enjoy. Teach the Samiots, 0 Polycrates, to operation, well knowing that the cause of royalty refuse you and each other no delight that is reciin all countries, being equally sacred, should be procal and that lasts. Royalty is the farthest of equally secure.
all things from reciprocity, and what delight it A nacreon. My sweet Polycrates ! do not ima- gives must be renewed daily, and with difficulty. gine that I, or any wise man upon earth, can be In the order of nature, flowers grow on every side interested in the fate of a nation that yields to of us : why take a ploughshare to uproot them? the discretion of one person. But pray avoid We may show our strength and dexterity in guidthose excesses which may subject the Graces to ing it for such a purpose, but not our wisdom. the Tempests. Let people live in peace and Love, in its various forms, according to our age, plenty, for your own sake; and go to war then only station, and capacity, is the only object of reasonwhen beauteous slaves are wanting. Even then able and just desire. I prefer that which is the it is cheaper to buy them of the merchant, easiest to give and to return : you, since you have taking care that at every importation you hire a chosen royalty, have taken the most difficult in philosopher or poet to instruct them in morality both: yet by kindness and courtesy you may conand religion. The one will demonstrate that ciliate those minds, which, once abased by royalty, obedience is a virtue; the other, that it is a never can recover their elasticity and strength, pleasure. If age stimulates the senses, or if unless in the fires of vengeance. The Gods avert youth is likely to return (as the ring did), not it from you, my friend ! Do not inure your people a syllable can I add against the reasonableness to war: but instead of arming and equipping of conquests to assuage the wants of either. them, soften them more and more by peace and
Polycrates. The people in all countries must luxury. Let your deceit in the ring be your last; be kept in a state of activity: for men in cities, for men will rather be subjugated than deceived, and horses in stables, grow restive by standing not knowing, or not reflecting, that they must still. It is the destination of both to be patted, have been deceived before they could be subjuridden, and whipped. The riding is the essen- gated. Let you and me keep this secret : that of tial thing; the patting and whipping are acces- the cook is hardly so safe. sories; and few are very careful or expert in Polycrates. Perfectly, or death would have sealed timing them.
it; although my cook is, you know, an excellent Anacreon. In courts, where silliness alone one, and would be a greater loss to me than any escapes suspicion, we must shake false lights native of the island. A tolerably good minister of over the shallows, or we shall catch nothing. But, state may be found in any cargo of slaves that O Polycrates ! I am not in the court of a prince : lands upon the coast. Interest ensures fidelity. I am in the house of a friend. I might flatter you, As for difficulty, I see none: to handle great if flattery could make you happier : but, as you bodies requires little delicacy. He would make in have neglected nothing which could render my a moment a hole through a mud-wall, who could abode with you delightful, I would omit no pre- never make the eye of a necdle: and it is easier to caution, no suggestion, which may secure and pick up a pompion than a single grain of dust. prolong my blessings. Do not believe that every With you, however, who have lived among such poet is dishonest, because most are. Homer was people, and know them thoroughly, I need not not; Solon is not; I doubt at times whether I discourse long about them, nor take the trouble to argue how impossible it is to blunder on so wide is no person, young or old, who does not respect and smooth a road, where every man is ready with more highly the guest of Polycrates than the poet a lamp if it is dark, or with a cart if it is miry. of Teios. You, my dear friend, who are a usurper, You know that a good cook is the peculiar gift of for which courage, prudence, affability, liberality, the Gods. He must be a perfect creature, from are necessary, would surely blush to act no better the brain to the palate, from the palate to the or more humanely than an hereditary and estafingers' end. Pleasure and displeasure, sick blished king, the disadvantages of whose conness and health, life and death, are consigned to dition you yourself have stated admirably. Society his arbitration. It would be little to add that he is not yet trodden down and forked together by alone shares with royalty the privilege of exemp- you into one and the same rotten mass, with rank tion from every punishment but capital : for it weeds covering the top and sucking out its juices. would be madness to flog either, and turn it loose. Circe, when she transformed the companions of
The story of the ring will be credited as long Ulysses into swine, took no delight in drawing as I want it; probably all my life, perhaps after. their tusks and ringing their snouts, but left them, For men are swift to take up a miracle, and slow by special grace, in quiet and full possession of to drop it; and woe to the impious wretch who their new privileges and dignities. The rod of would undeceive them! They never will believe enchantment was the only rod she used among that I can be unprosperous, until they see me put them, finding a pleasanter music in the chorusses to death : some, even then, would doubt whether of her nymphs than in the grunts and squeals of it were I, and others whether I were really dead, her subjects. the day following. As we are in no danger of Polycrates. Now tell me truly, Anacreon, if any such event, let us go and be crowned for the you knew of a conspiracy against me, would you feast, and prove whether the mullet has any other reveal it ? merits than we have yet discovered.
Anacreon. I would ; both for your sake and for Come, Anacreon, you must write an ode to the conspirators. Even were I not your guest Fortune, not forgetting her favourite.
and friend, I would dissuade from every similar A nacreon. I dare not, before I have written design. one to Juno, the patroness of Samos: but, as Polycrates. In some points, however, you apsurely as you are uncrucified, I will do it then. pear to have a fellow-feeling with the seditious. Pardon me, however, if I should happen to praise You differ from them in this : you would not take the beauty of her eyes, for I am used to think the trouble to kill me, and could not find a conmore about the goddess who has the loveliest ; venient hour to run away. and, even if I began with the Furies, I should end A nacreon. I am too young for death, too old in all likelihood with her.
for flight, and too comfortable for either. As for Polycrates. Follow your own ideas. You can killing you, I find it business enough to kill a kid not fail, however, to descant on the facility with as a sacrifice to Bacchus. Answer me as frankly which I acquired my power, and the unanimity by as I answered you. If by accident you met a girl which I retain it, under the guidance and pro- carried off by force, would you stop the ravisher ? tection of our patroness. I had less trouble in Polycrates. Certainly, if she were pretty: if becoming the master of Samos than you will have not, I would leave the offence to its own punishin singing it. Indeed when I consider how little ment. I experienced, I wonder that liberty can exist A nacreon. If the offence had been perpetrated in any country where there is one wise and to its uttermost extent, if the girl were silent, and if resolute man.
the brother unarmed should rush upon the perpeAnacreon. And I that tyranny can, where there trator armed are two.
Polycrates. I would catch him by the sleeve Polycrates. What! Anacreon, are even you at and stop him. last so undisguisedly my adversary?
Anacreon. I would act so in this business of Anacreon. Silly creature ! behold the fruit of yours. You have deflowered the virgin. Whether royalty ! Rottenness in the pulp, and bitterness in the action will bring after it the full chastisement, the kernel.
I know not ; nor whether the laws will ever wake Polycrates, if I had uttered those words before upon it, or, waking upon it, whether they will not the people, they would have stoned me for being hold their breath and lie quiet. Weazels, and your enemy . . for being a traitor! This is the other animals that consume our corn, are strangled expression of late, not applied to those who betray, or poisoned, as may happen : usurpers and conbut to those who resist or traverse the betrayer. querors must be taken off quietly in one way only, To such a situation are men reduced when they lest many perish in the attempt, and lest it fail. abandon self-rule! I love you from similarity of No conspiracy of more than two persons ought studies and inclinations, from habit, from gaiety ever to be entered into on such a business. Hence of heart, and because I live with you more con- the danger is diminished to those concerned, and veniently than in a meaner house and among the satisfaction and glory are increased. Statues coarser slaves. As for the Samiots, you can not can be erected to two, not to many; gibbets can suppose me much interested about them. Beauty be erected as readily to many as to few; and would itself is the less fierce from servitude; and there l be ; for most conspiracies have been discovered and punished, while hundreds of usurpers have Anacreon. Hylactor tells a story delightfully, been removed by their cooks, their cup-bearers, and his poetry is better than most poets will and their mistresses, as easily, and with as little allow. noise or notice, as dish from the table, or a Polycrates. I do not think it . . I speak of the slipper from the bed-side.
poetry. Banish the bloated and cloudy ideas of war A nacreon. Now, my dear Polycrates, without and conquest. Continue to eat while you have a word of flattery to you, on these occasions you anything in your mouth, particularly if sweet or are as ignorant as a goat-herd. savoury, and only think of filling it again when it Polycrates. I do not think that either. is empty.
Anacreon. Who does, of himself? Yet poetry Cræsus hath no naval force, nor have the Per- and the degrees of it are just as difficult to mark sians: they desire the fish but fear the water, and circumscribe, as love and beauty. and will mew and purr over you until they fall Polycrates. Madman ! asleep and forget you, unless you plunge too loud Anacreon. All are madmen who first draw out and glitter too near. They would have attacked hidden truths. you in the beginning, if they had ever wished to Polycrates. You are envious of Hylactor, bedo it, or been ignorant that kings have an enemy cause on that day I had given him a magnificent the less on the ruin of every free nation. I do not dress, resembling those of the Agathyrsi. tell you to sit quiet, any more than I would a man Anacreon. I can go naked at my own expense. who has a fever or an ague, but to sit as quiet as I would envy him (if it gave me no trouble) his your condition will permit. If you leave to others lively fancy, his convivial fun, and his power to their enjoyments, they will leave yours to you. live in a crowd, which I can do no longer than a Tyrants never perish from tyranny, but always trout can in the grass. What I envied on that from folly ; when their fantasies build up a palace day, I had. When with eyes turned upward to for which the earth has no foundation. It then you, modestly and reverentially, he entreated the becomes necessary, they think, to talk about their possession of the beechen bowl out of which you similitude to the Gods, and to tell the people, had taken one draught, I, with like humility of “We have a right to rule you, just as they have a gesture and similar tone of voice, requested I right to rule us : the duties they exact from us, might be possessor of the barrel out of which you we exact from you : we are responsible to none had taken but one. The people were silent at his but to them.”
request; they were rapturous at mine : one Polycrates. Anacreon! Anacreon! who, in the excepted. name of Hermes, ever talked thus, since the reign Polycrates. And what said he ? of Salmoneus? People who would listen to such Anacreon.“ By Bacchus !” he exclaimed, “I inflated and idle arrogance, must be deprived, not thought sycophants were the most impudent of their liberties only, but their senses. Lydians people in the world : but, Anacreon, verily thou or Carians, Cappadocians or Carmanians, would surpassest them : thou puttest them out of counrevolt at it : I myself would tear the diadem from tenance, out of breath, man!” my brow, before I would commit such an outrage Your liberality was, as usual, enough for us ; on the dignity of our common nature. A little and, if Envy must come in, she must sit between fallacy, a little fraud and imposture, may be re- us. Really the dress, coarse as it was, that you quisite to our office, and principally on entering gave Placoeis, the associate of Hylactor, would it; there is, however, no need to tell the people have covered Tityus : nay, would have made that we, on our consciences, lay the public ac- winding-sheets, and ample ones, for all the giants, counts before Jupiter for his signature; that, if if indeed their mother Earth enwrapt their bones there is any surplus, we will return it hereafter; in any. Meditating the present of such another but that, as honest and pious men, their business investiture, you must surprise or scale Miletus; is with him, not with us.
for if, in addition to the sheep of Samos, the cows My dear Anacreon, you reason speciously, which and oxen, the horses and swine, the goats and is better in most cases than reasoning soundly; dogs, were woolly, the fleeces of ten years would for many are led by it and none offended. But be insufficient. As Placoeis moved on, there were as there are pleasures in poetry which I can not exclamations of wonder on all sides, at all distances. know, in like manner there are pleasures in “Another* Epeüs must have made that pageant!" royalty which you can not. Say what you will, was the cry: and many were trodden under foot we have this advantage over you. Sovrans and from wishing to obtain a sight of the rollers. His poets alike court us; they alike treat you with heat, like the sun's, increased as he proceeded ; malignity and contumely. Do you imagine that and those who kept egg-stalls and fish-stalls cursed Hylactor, supposing him to feign a little in regard him and removed them. to me, really would on any occasion be so enthusi- Polycrates. We will feast again no less magni. astic in your favour as he was in mine?
ficently when I return from my victory on the Anacreon. You allude to the village-feast, in continent. There are delicate perfumes and genewhich he requested from your hand the cup you rous wines and beautiful robes at Sardis. had poured a libation from, and tasted ? Polycrates. The veryinstance I was thinking on.
* Framer of the Trojan Horse.
LORD COLERAINE, REV. MR. BLOOMBURY, AND REV. MR. SWAN.
ever a gamester?
Bloombury. Ay, sing to him; read to him Swan. Such was the report I heard yesterday. Shakspeare and Cervantes and Froissart! Make Accidents of this kind, when they befall the light him believe that man is better than a worm, loveand thoughtless, shock us even more than when lier than a toad, wiser than a deaf adder. Mr. Swan, it pleases God to inflict them on the graver and you are a virtuous man (I mean no offence by the better. What is more awful than to confront calling you so), a good neighbour, a cordial friend, so unexpectedly the gay in spirit with the king but you are not touched. of terrors? Sincerely as I grieve to hear of this Swan. Bloombury, if you are sincere, you will appalling visitation, it is consolatory to think that acknowledge that, among your evangelicals, this his lordship has brought himself to such a com- touching for the mostpart begins with the pocket, fortable and cheering frame of mind.
or its environs. Bloombury. Has he, Mr. Swan? Methinks it is Bloombury. O for shame! such indecency I rather early, if he has.
never heard ! This comes from your worldly and Swan. He must be sensible of his situation, or university view of things, your drinkings and he would not have required your spiritual aid. cricketings.
Bloombury. He require it! no more than a rank Swan. Too frequently. We want drilling in heathen or unchristened babe. He shall have it our armour of faith from the Horse-guards : we though. I will awaken him; I will prick him ; I want teaching from those who pay fifty guineas will carry to him the sword of faith ; it shall pierce the lesson. I am not so unchristian as to deny his heart.
that you are adepts in the practice of humility, Swan. Gently with the rowels on a foundered but it is quite of a new kind. You are humble steed.
while you speak, but the reverse when you are Bloombury. Mr. Swan, our pulpits should not spoken to; and, if it were not for your sanctificasmell of the horse-cloth. I never heard that text tion, I should call you the most arrogant and selfbefore.
sufficient of sectarians. Swan. You have heard many a worse.
Bloombury. We are of the church; the true Bloombury. Profane ! there are none but from English church. the Bible.
Swan. Few sects are not, opposite as they may Swan. The application and intent make them be. Take the general spirit and practice of it, more or less good. Smite is in that book; do not and tell me what church under heaven is more smite is there also. Now which is best?
liberal and forbearing. Bloombury. Both are excellent if they are there: Bloombury. Because you forego and forget the we can only know which is best by opening the most prominent of the thirty-nine articles. There volume of grace, and the text that we open first is the sword in them. is for our occasion the best of the two.
Swan. Let it lie there, in God's name. Swan. There is no logic to place against this. Bloombury. There is doctrine. Of course you are intimately acquainted with Swan. I take what I understand of it, and Lord Coleraine. You can remind him of faults would not give a pinch of snuff for the rest. Our which it is still in his power to correct; of Saviour has taught me whatever is useful to know wrongs...
in Christianity. If churches, or any members of Bloombury. I can, and will. When I was in the them, wanted more from his apostles, I hope they Guards, he won a trifle of money from me: I shall enjoyed what they wanted. The coarser Gentiles bring him to a proper sense of his sinfulness in must needs have cheese and garlic upon their having done it.
bread of life : my stomach won't digest them. Swan. In winning your money ?
Those who like the same fare may take it; only Bloombury. He may make some reparation to let them, when their mouths are full of it, sit society for his offence.
quiet, and not open them upon me.
We are at Swan. He could not have won your money if the house, I think. Good morning . . A word you had not played with him.
at parting. May not that musk about you hurt Bloombury. I was young: he ought to have the sick man? taught me better.
Bloombury. What musk? I protest I never Swan. He did, if he won much.
have used any. Bloombury. He won fifty guineas.
Swan. Then the creature that bears it has run
LORD COLERAINE, REV. MR. BLOOMBURY, AND REV. MR. SWAN. 275 between your legs, and rubbed its fur against your Physician. He seems quite tranquil, and may dress but lately. Adieu.
go off so. Bloombury (to a Servant). Is my Lord Coleraine Bloombury. In that perilous state! It is the at home?
dimple of a whirlpool, at the bottom whereof is Servant. No, sir.
hell. I will arouse him : I will wrestle with Christ Bloombury. Mark me, young man; the ways for him. of the world are at an end so near the chamber of Physician. In another ring then: I keep the death. Tell his lordship that the Reverend .. ground here. better tell him that Captain Frederick Bloombury, Bloombury. You physicians are materialists. late of the Guards, has something of great import- Physician. Undoubtedly, sir, you would desire ance to communicate.
to be the contrary? Servant (returning). My master desires you to Bloombury. Undoubtedly, indeed. walk up, sir.
Physician. You methodists then are immateColeraine. have had the pleasure, I think, of rialists? meeting you formerly, Captain Bloombury; I can Bloombury. Ho! ho! grace and election and not say exactly where ; for we guardsmen meet in sanctification are things immaterial ! strange places. I had sold out; and, as you are Physician. Which of you ever has preached not in uniform, I presume that you too have left gratitude to God; in another word, contentment? the service.
Which of you has ever told a man that his prinBloombury. On the contrary, I have just en- cipal duty is to love his neighbour? tered it.
Bloombury. Who dares lie, in the face of God ? Coleraine. Rather late in the day; is not it? We love the Lamb; the rest follows. However, if I can serve you, speak. I feel a diffi- Physician. Unless the rest (as you call it) preculty in conversing: this apoplexy has twisted cedes, the Lamb will never be caught by you, my mouth on one side like a turbot's, and Death whine to him and pipe to him as you may. Love and I seem to be grinning for a wager. What do to God must be conveyed and expressed by a meyou lift up your eyebrows at? My sight is im- diator. perfect; they seem to me to be greyish, and fitter Bloombury. There you talk soundly. for a lieutenant-general than a captain.
Physician. You can show your love to him only Bloombury. I am ageing .. that is, I have a through the images he has set on every side of you. whitish or rather a lighter-coloured hair here and Bloombury. Idolater! When I uplift my eyes to there. Sober thinking brings them.
heaven and see Jupiter (so called) and Saturn Coleraine. Particularly when it comes after the name of foolishness) and all the starry host .. thinking that is not quite so sober .. ay, Bloom- Physician. You see things less worthy of your bury! Excuse me, was it expedient to enter the attention than a gang of gipsies in a grassy lane. service so late in life, and in the midst of peace ? You can not ask Saturn (name of foolishness) nor
Bloombury. There begins our warfare : these Jupiter (so called) whether he wants anything, are riotous and bloody times.
nor could you give it if he did : but one or other Coleraine. They are getting better, if people of these poor creatures may be befriended in some will let them. What would they have? Would way, may in short be made better and honester they tear a new coat to pieces because the old one and cleanlier. will not fit? How do you like your brother Bloombury. What! no prayers, I suppose, nor officers ?
thanksgivings? Bloombury. Reasonably well.
Physician. Catch the prayer that is rising to Coleraine. And the service at large ?
God, and act for him ; receive in turn the thanks. Bloombury. The sweetest of services is the ser- giving; he authorises and commands you. If vice of the Lamb.
there is a man in your parish who wants a meal Coleraine. They told me so.. talking does me while you eat two in the day, let me advise you harm .. yet I did not feel it. Gentlemen, it is neither to sing a psalm nor to bend a knee until of no use to bleed me any more. You need not you have divided your quartern loaf with him. feel my pulse .. I am too weak. I am losing I must go in and see my patient: if you follow, my intellects, such as they are. I seem to see step gently. faces and to hear words the strangest in the world. Coleraine. I beg your pardon, Captain Bloom
Bloombury. He shuts his eyes and appears to bury: how long have you been waiting ? doze a little. He smiles .. a very bad sign in a Bloombury. An instant only, my lord. I hope dying man!
your lordship has benefited by your easy slumber. Physician. With deference, I think otherwise, Coleraine. I feel no pain. sir. He can not live the day through, but he is Bloombury. Unhappy man! in full possession of his senses. If you have any
Coleraine. Thank you : I am sure you are. secret, anything interesting to his family, any Bloombury. The Lord sends hither me, his unomission to suggest, we will retire. Let me how-worthy servant, 0 George Viscount Coleraine, to ever request of you, not to disturb him on matters bring you unto him. of business.
* Misunderstanding; and supposing he said “ I am glad Bloombury. The Lord forbid !
to hear it, or some such thing."