american wit and humor

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Página 181 - Nebber min' de wedder," — She soun' like forty-lebben bands a-playin' all togedder; Some went to pattin'; some to dancin': Noah called de figgers; An
Página 196 - Prayer," adagio — That fetcheth him, as fetcheth the banco skin The innocent rustic. For my part, I pray That Badarjewska maid may wait for aye Ere sits she with a lover, as did we Once sit together, Amabel! Can it be That all that arduous wooing not atones For Saturday shortness of trade dollars three?
Página 180 - Noah kep' a-nailin' an' a-chippin' an' a-sawin'; An' all de wicked neighbors kep' a-laughin' an' a-pshawin'; But Noah didn't min' 'em, knowin' whut wuz gwine to happen: An' forty days an' forty nights de rain it kep' a-drappin'. Now, Noah had done cotched a lot ob ebry sort o' beas'es — Ob all de shows a-trabbelin', it beat 'em all to pieces! He had a Morgan colt an' sebral head o' Jarsey cattle — An' druv 'em 'board de Ark as soon's he heered de thunder rattle.
Página 181 - Noah an' de critters, An' men he'd hired to work de boat — an' one to mix de bitters. De Ark she kep' a-sailin' an' a-sailin' an' a-sailin' ; De lion got his dander up, an...
Página 112 - Over three faces a sad smile flew, And they edged away from Kalamazoo. But Gotham's haughty soul was stirred To crush the stranger with one small word; Deftly hiding reproof in praise, She cries, '"Tis, indeed, a lovely vaze!
Página 229 - There was once an Anthropoidal Ape, Far smarter than the rest, And everything that they could do He always did the best; So they naturally disliked him, And they gave him shoulders cool, And when they mentioned him at all They said he was a fool.
Página 229 - I'm going to have a mane! I'm going to stand fourteen hands high On the psychozoic plain!" The Coryphodon was horrified, The Dinoceras was shocked; And they chased young Eohippus, But he skipped away and mocked. Then they laughed enormous laughter, And they groaned enormous groans, And they bade young Eohippus Go view his father's bones. Said they, "You; always were as small And mean as now we see, "And that's conclusive evidence That you're always going to be. What! Be a great, tall, handsome beast,...
Página 195 - Landlady for a failure to connect on Saturday night.] I. " I would that all men my hard case might know ; How grievously I suffer for no sin : I, Adolphe Culpepper Ferguson, for lo ! I of my landlady am locked in, For being short on this sad Saturday, Nor having shekels of silver wherewith to pay : She...
Página 96 - WHAT, what, what, What's the news from Swat? Sad news, Bad news, Comes by the cable led Through the Indian Ocean's bed, Through the Persian Gulf, the Red Sea and the Mediterranean — he's dead; The Ahkoond is dead ! For the Ahkoond I mourn, — Who wouldn't ? He strove to disregard the message stern, But he Ahkoodn't. Dead, dead, dead: Sorrow, Swats! Swats wha hae wi...
Página 46 - M. did not tell his son what he wanted those bees for. and the boy went off on his mission with his head so full of astonishment that it fairly whirled. Evening brings all home, and the last rays of the declining sun fell upon Master Middlerib with a short, widemouthed bottle comfortably populated with hot, ill-natured bees, and Mr. Middlerib and a dime. The dime and the bottle changed hands. Mr. Middlerib put the bottle in his coat pocket and went into the house, eyeing everybody he met very suspiciously,...

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