WHILE

HILE traveling some time since in Ver- | Brother Thrall, after imbibing pretty freely, mont, says a correspondent, a lady nar-mounted his horse and started for home. UnBrother Marated to me an amusing story, which illustrates fortunately he fell off and stuck in the mud, and the vein of humor which is so peculiar to Mr. was unable to extricate himself. Jenckes, of Rhode Island. As I have never seen gee, coming along, kindly offered assistance; but it in print, and believe it worthy of preservation, Brother Thrall, mindful of the superior antiquity I send it to you for publication. It ran as fol- of his Church, and the duty of maintaining its lows: About four years since Mr. C. M. Keller prestige, cried out, "Go avay, Metadeest! go I vas born a Luderean, and I dies a Luwas engaged at Windsor, Vermont, before Mr. avay, Metadeest! I vants nossing to do mit Justice Nelson, in the trial of a case involving you. the infringement of the patent right of a metallic derean! Go avay, I say!" And the "Metadeest" passed by on the other coffin. At the next term of the court he was employed as counsel for the Rutland Marble Quarry at Windsor, and during the trial it became necessary to introduce in evidence a large Mr. Jenckes, number of specimens of marble. while looking over these samples, observed "that Mr. Keller must have brought his family graveyard with him;" to which Mr. Keller responded, that if Mr. Jenckes would write him an epitaph he would give him (Jenckes) a tombstone." Mr. Jenckes immediately composed the following

verses:

Here Keller lies, and he who knows
The story of his occupation
Will tell you that the record shows

A change of place, not of vocation.

And could he tell the truth, his life,
Although well filled with good intentions,
Was spent in wordy, windy strife

On nothing else but new inventions.

In life he patent cases tried

With speech that bothered courts that heard him; His clients, grieving when he died,

In patent burial case interred him.

With tongue and pen great was his scope
To clothe crude thought in wordy tissue;

Life he surrendered in the hope

Of coming back in a "re-issue;"

Believing that his claims, when passed

In the last dread examination,

Would with the "patent seal" be classed,
Not with "rejected applications."

And when his spirit fled this sphere

Grief clutched our throats, but did not throttle, For claret was but half as dear,

And port fell fifty cents a bottle.

Good story of General Sherman. Dining one
day, in 1864, at Memphis, with General Veitch
and General Chetlain, army stories were in or-
der; whereupon, thus spake General Sherman :
"While at Bowling Green the rebel women
bothered us to death. It was always the same
old complaint-The soldiers have milked our
cows, or stolen our chickens, or busted into the
smoke-house.' At Chattanooga we were bored
One morning they
to death with these women.
besieged my head-quarters, when, raising my-
self to my most solemn posture, I said to the
foremost woman, Madam, the integrity of the
republic and the solidity of the Constitution must
be maintained, if it takes every chicken in Ten-

nessee!'"

THE extent to which sectarian prejudice can be carried is indicated by this incident:

Old Billy Magee is a strong Methodist, while his neighbor, Andy Thrall, is an equally strong Lutheran. They recently met at a county sale, where plenty of the ardent was distributed.

side.

OUR lawyer friends may, perhaps, appreciate the following, from Mr. Mark Boyd's "Reminiscences of Fifty Years:"

An eminent judge used to say that, in his opinion, the very best thing ever said by a witness to a counsel was the reply given to Missing, the barrister, at the time leader of his circuit. He was defending a prisoner charged with stealing a donkey. The prosecutor had left the animal tied up to a gate, and when he returned it was gone. Missing was very severe in his examination of the witness.

"Do you mean to say, witness, the donkey was stolen from that gate?"

"I mean to say, Sir"-giving the judge, and then the jury, a sly look, at the same time pointing to the counsel-"the ass was Missing."

THE following "Twenty Points of Piety" were written three hundred and fourteen years ago by "one Thomas Leisser, a good man,' and are now published for the first time in this country in the Drawer:

1. To pray to God continually.

2. To learn to know Him rightfully.
3. To honor God in Trinity:
The Trinity in unity,

The Father in His majesty,
The Son in His humanity,
The Holy Ghost's benignity:
Three persons, one in Deity.
4. To serve Him alway guilelessly.
5. To ask Him all things needfully.
6. To praise Him in all company.
7. To love Him alway heartily.
8. To dread Him alway Christianly.
9. To ask Him mercy penitently.
10. To trust Him alway faithfully.
11. To obey Him alway willingly.
12. To abide Him alway patiently.
13. To thank Him alway thankfully.
14. To live here alway virtuously.
15. To use thy neighbor honestly.
16. To look for death still presently.
17. To help the poor in misery.
18. To hope for heaven's felicity.
19. To have faith, hope, and charity.
20. To count this life but vanity:

BE POINTS OF CHRISTIANITY.

EDITOR'S DRAWER.

pawnbroker, and you can borrow ten dollars on it."

"Fact!-never thought of that. I'll go right off. Who's your pawnbroker ?"

THE extent to which patriotism may be carried is illustrated in the following extract of a speech recently made by an honorable member of the Arkansas Legislature. In advocating a retrenchment of the public expenditure, he exclaimed: "Gentlemen talk about adequate compensation of public servants.' Why, Sir, during the late war I was in thirty-seven battles, was wounded thirteen times in the cause of the South, and the entire pay I received was $30 in Confederate money, every cent of which I gave for one glass of old rye whisky."

Thirty dollars for thirteen wounds is a little less than $2 for each wound, which is cheap for wounds, and especially cheap in its connection with the then market rate for "red eye."

THOMAS JEFFERSON is known to have solaced his leisure hours by playing the violin, on which he was a proficient. His fondness for the instrument may be inferred from the following anecdote, quoted from his "Domestic Life," recently published by Harper and Brothers:

In the year 1770 the house at Shadwell was destroyed by fire, and Jefferson moved to Monticello, where his preparations for a residence were sufficiently advanced to enable him to make it his permanent abode. He was from home when the fire took place at Shadwell, and the first inquiry he made of the negro who carried him the news was after his books.

"Oh, my young master," he replied, carelessly, "they were all burned; but ah! we saved your fiddle."

THE following charade was written by a friend The lady, who of Miss Upham upon her name. had lived in single blessedness for over seventy years, made a pertinent answer, in rhyme, which has also been given to us:

CHARADE ON THE NAME OF UPHAM.
To get my first a sluggard's loath;
To get my next a glutton's glad.
Happy is he who gets them both;

But jewels are not cheaply had.

ANSWER.

Your first, I guess, is to get up,
And on your next, when sliced, we sup;
United, both will name a lady

Who, long since passed her youthful heyday,
Unmarried now, upon the shelf,
Lies soberly beside herself.

The men, I grant, have wanted spirit,

To pass a jewel of such merit.

For this mistake I must not fret,

But patient wait to be new set

In that good place where wedlock ceases,
And woman's bliss, perhaps, increases.

dependence: "While the question of Independ-
ence was before Congress it had its meetings
near a livery-stable. The members wore short
breeches and silk stockings, and, with handker-
chief in hand, they were diligently employed in
lashing the flies from their legs. So very vexa-
tious was this annoyance, and to so great an
impatience did it arouse the sufferers, that it
hastened, if it did not aid, in inducing them to
promptly affix their signatures to the great docu-
ment which gave birth to an empire republic.
This anecdote I had from Mr. Jefferson at
Monticello, who seemed to enjoy it very much,
as well as to give great credit to the influence
of flies. He told it with much glee, and seemed
to retain a vivid recollection of an attack, from
which the only relief was signing the paper and
flying from the scene.

HERE is a bit of "good time" which the Marquis de Chastellux relates of a visit he made to Jefferson at Monticello, in 1782, when Jefferson was not yet forty:

"I recollect with pleasure that as we were conversing over a bowl of punch, after Mrs. Jefferson had retired, our conversation turned on the poems of Ossian. It was a spark of electricity which passed rapidly from one to the other; we recollected the passages in those sublime poems which particularly struck us, and entertained my fellow-travelers, who fortunately knew English well, and were qualified to judge of their merits, though they had never read the poems. In our enthusiasm the book was sent for and placed near the bowl, where, by their mutual aid, the night far advanced imperceptibly upon us."

Of course Jefferson used to have "good time."

AN old correspondent at Catlettsburg, Kentucky, is good enough to send the original of the unique contract below, which we are sure will be appreciated by legal folk. Our correspondent "Mr. Rolin Burns, the lawyer addressed says, for to git shet of this,' is a practitioner here. John Collins and Peggy Fields are indicted for being too little married, and will be tried during the fall term of the Boyd Circuit Court."

Sept 24th 1866

A Contract enterdd in to Between Isaac fields the first part And John Collins The Second part Isaac field Agree peaceabley and friendly To sell His wife peggy fields To the Said John Collins for three Dollars Pegy fields is all So willin To this Contract for John Collins To By her This was Agred and Drew on the day of Sept 24th 1866 in the County of Boyd Ky Witnesses being Caled allso attest By

Jonas Roseblock
William Johnson

Mr. Rolin Burns please to look at this Contract Between Isaac Fields and John Collins John Collins Sez he will pay the fee John Collins and Pagy Fields is now Returned Before the Surcit Cort And John Wishes to no the Best way to proseed for To Git Shet of this Please Rite me a few Lines.

SINCE that witty man, Charles H. Webb, retired from journalism and the Adder, to rejoice DOUBTLESS every thing was created for a pur- in the felicities of connubial life, and revel in the pose, but "what is the use of flies ?"-an inter- large sum of money which he, in conjunction One with Mr. Drew, Mr. Vanderbilt, and other caprogatory frequently heard in fly-time. memorable instance is mentioned in Jefferson's italists, has realized by those peculiar upheavals "Domestic Life," where they served an impor- in stocks which the public records tell us sometant purpose. A gentleman who had been a fre- times occur in Wall Street-since then he has quent visitor at Monticello during Jefferson's seldom been heard of. When he was one of "us," doing semi-reportorial duty at one of the life gave the following amusing incident of the first Congress and the Declaration of In-fairs of the American Institute, he found it nec

essary to take a seat behind a pyramid of pasteblacking and write up his notes. He had just completed a glowing eulogium on the merits of a patent bean-sifter, when he was interrupted by a tall countryman, who asked,

"Haow do ye sell yer blackin', mister?" "I don't sell it," said the absorbed writer.

"Don't gin it away, du ye?" said the querist, handling a box covetously.

"I haven't given away any yet," replied the still busy knight of the pencil.

"Hain't got any objections to my takin' a box, have ye?" persisted the torment.

"Not the least in the world," said the now thoroughly aroused joker, calmly closing his book, and beaming blandly upon the interrogator.

The countryman immediately seized upon a box of the polish; a sharp boy standing near followed his example; the news of free blacking spread among other sharp boys, and the pyramid of blacking was soon reduced to a plane, when the newspaper man was overtaken a little distance further in the hall by the blacking dealer, irate and red-faced, with two policemen, who had the original offender and half a dozen boys in custody.

IN a recent English book we find two specimens of elegant letter-writing. The first a note written to the late Bishop of Norwich in answer to an invitation given by him:

"Mr. O's private affairs turn out so sadly that he can not have the pleasure of waiting upon his lordship at his agreeable house on Monday next. "N.B.-His wife is dead."

The second is a letter from a father to his daughter's school-mistress:

"What the blazes do you mean," said the man of polish, in any thing but polished lan-hintirely ashamed for to see wat manner that Lucy his "MADAM,-As I ad a good heddication myself, I am guage, "by setting people to steal my black-bitt by the buggs. And it is my desire for herr to sleep ing?"

66

My dear Sir," said the phonographer, urbanely, "the gentleman asked me if I had any objections to his taking a box of the blacking, and I hadn't any objections at all, and I don't know why I should have." And he walked quietly on in pursuit of his labors, leaving Messrs. Day and Martin to charge a gross of pasteblacking to profit and loss.

THIS from the journal of Julian Charles Young: Henry M, Q.C., now perhaps the wittiest man of the day, found himself entering the same railway carriage with Lord W- when he was Lord Chancellor. "Why, M-, what a size you have grown! Your are as fat as a porpoise! I'm almost ashamed to be seen with you!"

"I don't know why you should, my lord. Nothing is more natural than for the porpoise to be in company with the Great Seal!"

in the bed that she alway do, and not for to sleep sumtimes in wun, and then in annuther for to feed all the buggs in the ouse; for I think that be not right, neither shall she do it so I remain yours," etc., etc.

THE "last words" of great men are usually cherished with sacred care and enrolled on the page of history. In this instance we will cherish the memory and the dying words of one in humble life. Miles Nesbitt was a king among the stage-drivers who brought us over the fearful grades and along the dangerous precipices of the . Sierras in days before the continental railroad was built. On a certain evening, as Miles was reining his noble steeds along C Street, and about to turn down Union Street, in Virginia City, some unavoidable accident caused the stage to be overturned, and Miles was thrown with violence to the frozen ground and fatally injured. Two days of suffering brought him to the banks of the dark river. His companions were about him, brushing the hot tears from their rough and weather-beaten cheeks. Gasping, he said to them, "Good-by, boys; I am on the down grade, and can't reach the brake." The next moment poor Miles was off from the rough grade of life.

THE Drawer has furnished us (in Virginia City, Nevada) so much amusement that we are in duty bound to try and make some return.

As there has been not a little discussion of late as to the durability of wooden pavements-the Nicholson, the Stow Foundation, the Stafford, and others not only in this city, but in other cities, and a deputation of the Common Council of Buffalo having made an official visit here to peer into the subject, it may not be malapropos to quote the following, by one of England's brightest wits. When the question of putting down wooden pavement around St. Paul's Ca- Some ten years ago our mountain city was a thedral was first mooted the Bishop of London mere camp of rude cabins, rough houses, and summoned the authorities of the Cathedral to canvas tents. The old Empire canvas lodgingmeet him. Sydney Smith arrived early, but when house will be remembered by early settlers. This some little impatience was expressed at the non-furnished the only convenient place in which arrival of the prelate and other dignitaries, the witty dean remarked that, as the question of blockheads had to be discussed, they had no other course left them than to wait.

our pioneer Methodist brethren could worship. Brother Rooney was then the preacher. A man more fond of giving or receiving a good joke among private friends could rarely be found. On a hot Sunday morning Brother Rooney be A GENTLEMAN who was present at the wed-gan his discourse to the assembled sinners. The ding of Mr. Job Wall and Mary Best, took it curtains were carefully drawn in front of the

EDITOR'S DRAWER.

berths, one above another, wherein were several tired miners reposing, with the latest yellow-covered literature which had come to the camp.

In the midst of the sermon the horrid braying of a donkey was commenced at the side of the tent, directly under the bunk of a miner, which was enough to drown all that priest or prophet might proclaim.

of the same genus day after day and week after
week, finally allowed him to follow him to the
court-house, where he winked at the sheriff, and
had him put on the Grand Jury for four weeks!

DURING the late unpleasantness it was conOne night sidered necessary, in Cynthiana, Kentucky, to keep a few soldiers at that place.

The miner in the bunk could endure it no lon-two of them happened to stray into the church ger, and pushing out the canvas curtain, and of the colored people, just as the minister was staring the donkey in the face, bawled out, “Dry concluding an earnest invitation to any who were inclined to come and join the church." After up, confound you! one at a time is enough!" he had finished, these two soldiers got up, walked forward, and presented themselves for admission; whereupon the preacher said, "Breddren, dis is a cullud church, an' I dunno as I's any 'thority to take in white folks." At this point an elderly uncle rose in the congregation, and ejaculated, "Take 'em in, Brudder Jilson, take 'em in; dar skins is white, dat's fact, but dar hearts is jis as black as ourn, suah!"

This was too much for the fun-loving audience, and a general snicker went around, in which Brother Rooney himself was compelled to join; but the moment he could command himas soon as our self, he solemnly remarked that " friend gets through talking to his brother we will proceed with our discourse."

SEVERAL years after the occurrence above narrated, when new churches were erected and prosperity dawned on the new city, a certain earnest clergyman of another denomination, on a Sunday morning, was exhorting those with anxious and troubled consciences to be sure and call on their pastor for guidance and prayer.

Said he: To show you, my brethren, the blessed results of these visits with your pastor, I will state to you that only yesterday a gentleman of wealth called upon me for counsel and instruction; and now, to-day, my friends-to-day -he sits among us, a happy husband and a father and a Christian."

A young lady in the audience whispered to a Wa'n't that pretty quick work?" matron,

66

IN our early days in the Silver State females were rarely to be seen in the frontier mining A gentleman who was an ardent adcamps. mirer of the ladies had been absent for six months in the Reese River region, beyond the sight of crinoline. On his return to Virginia City-as Baldy Green drove his stage in front of Wells, Fargo, and Co.'s express office-the gentleman alighted with his long beard and dusty garments; and, on beholding two ladies passing, he at once dropped his valise, raised his hands, and gazing with admiration, gave expression thus, "Praise God from whom all blessings flow." The crowd, always in attendance on the arrival of a stage, voted him a true man, and our ladies here smiled at their appreciation.

THE inscriptions on the five grave-stones at New London, Connecticut, published in the August number of the Drawer, remind a correspondent of the following, which he copied from a stone in the burying-ground at Sag Harbor, Long Island:

Behold, ye living mortals passing by,

How thick the partners of one husband lie.
Vast and unsearchable the ways of God;
Just but severe His chastening rod.

This was inscribed over the remains of the third wife of Captain David Hand, but, notwithstanding the severity of the "chastening rod," the captain passed under its lashings twice more, and last of all died himself, having married and buried four of the five within eight years.

THE cant phrase in England just at the moment is, "Would you be surprised to learn?" In a London shop window the public are asked, "Would you be surprised to learn that these pencils are sold at a penny apiece?" Of a scarf it is advertised, "Would you be surprised to learn that this scarf is worn by every man of taste in the kingdom?" To such an extent is the phrase indulged in that an eminent Queen's Counsel had a happy thought by commencing an examination with it, when Lord Penzance, the judge, stopped him with the remark, "Take care; that is patented."

THAT was not bad of the editor of the RochesAN Irishman named William, and one Samuel, ter Democrat, in speaking of a railroad in that a Jew, were partners in the ownership and man- vicinity. A gentleman, says he, took the train agement of a large and valuable rancho not many a few days since on what is termed "the hucklemiles from Virginia City. Samuel was upbraid-berry road," running between Avon and Mount ing his Irish partner for his queer Irish manage- Morris. ment of some particular business.

dog was found sitting at the station, awaiting the arrival of his master!

After the train started from Avon he discovered that he had left a valuable dog beWilliam could endure it no longer, and re-hind, but on arriving at Mount Morris the lost torted, "Now, Sam, you had better dry up about my Irish blunders, for you Jews have nothing to brag of: there you were for forty years bringing your folks through the wilderness, when any good smart Yankee would have done it in four days." Sam subsided, and peace was restored.

THE victim of "that life-insurance man,' described in the Drawer for August, was not half so sharp or so cruel as was a young lawyer of St. Louis, who, being persecuted by a bore

IN Washington, Pennsylvania, long resided a patriarchal darky, known as "Old Uncle Ben," and great was the grief among the darkies when he died. All of them, old and young, turned Before the procession was out to the funeral. formed, and before closing the lid of the coffin, it was carried out in front of the cabin door, so that his friends could file past and take a last