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the ladies cartlied, and shrunk away, and secure, for though the longe for there was no such thing as fpeak- vity was indeterminate, she confidered ing, but Floretta would find something death as far diftant, and therefore fuf, to criticise. If a girl was inore spright. fered it not to intrude upon her plealy than her aunt, fe was threatened fures. that in a little time she would be like But length of life included not perFloretta. Visits were very diligently petual health. She felt herself contipaid when Floretta was known not to nually decaying, and saw the world be at home; and no mother trusted her fading about her. The delights of her daughter to herself without a caution, early days would delight no longer, if the should meet Floretta, to leave the and however widely the extended her company as soon as she could.

view, no new pleasure could be found : With all this Floretta made sport at her friends, her enemies, her admirers, first, but in time grew weary of general her rivals, dropped one by one into the hostility. She would have been content grave, and with those who fucceeded with a few friends, but no friendship them she had neither coinmunity of was durable.; it was the fashion to desert joys nor strife of competition. her, and with the fashion what fidelity By this time the began to doubt will contend? She could have easily, whether old age were not dangerous to amused herself in folitude, but that virtue ; whether pain would not prothe thought it mean to quit the field to duce peevifhness, and peevishness imtreachery and folly.

pair benevolence. She thought that Persecution at length tired her con the spectacle of life might be too long fancy, and the implored Lilinet to rid continued, and the vices which were her of her wit : Lilinet complied, and often feen might raise less abhorrence ; walked up the mountain, but was often that resolution might be fapped by time, forced to stop and wait for her fol and let that virtue sink, which in its lower. When they came to the flinty firmeft ftate it had not without diffifountain, Floretta filled a small cup culty supported; and that it was vain and flowly brought it to her lips, but to delay the hour which must come at the water was insupportably bitter. last, and might come at a time of She just tasted it, and dashed it to the less preparation and greater imbecillity. ground, diluted the bitternefs at the These thoughts led her :) Lilinet, fountain of alabaster, and resolved whom she accompanied to the flinty to keep her wit with all its conse- fountain ; where, after a short combat quences.

with herself, she drank the bitter water. Being now a wit for life, the survey. They walked back to the favourite buh ed the various conditions of mankind pensive and filent : And now, said she, with fuch fuperiority of fentiment, that accept my thanks for the last benefit fhe found few distinctions to be envied that Floretta can receive. Lady Lilior desired, and therefore did not very net dropped a tear, impressed upon her foon make another visit to the fountain. lips the final kiss, and resigned her, as At length being alarmed by fickness, the resigned herself, to the course of Me refolved to drink length of life from Nature. the golden cup. She returned elated

PO E T R Y.. The PETITION of the Cooks", rou, Stre, who with furcb honour wear By Peter Pindar, Esgt.

your Crown, YO OUR Majesty's firin friends and

Should neverbring on oursdisgraces down. faithful cooks,

Dread Sir! we really deem our heads Who in your Palace merry liv'd as

our own, grigs,

With ev'ry sprig of hair that on them Have heard, with heavy hearts and springs "down-cait looks,

In France, where men like spaniels lick That we must all be hav'd, and put the Throne, on wigs :

And count it glory to be cuf'd by

Tbsir page

164 of this Magazine, + Lousad, part II.


tell ye,


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205 Their locks belong unto the Grand Mo- America bath try'd to pull your nose. nar que,

French, Dutch, and Spaniards, try'd Who swallows privileges like a shark.. to bang your back: Be pleas'd to pardon what we now ad- 'Twould be a serious matter, we can

We dare your facred Majesty assure, Were we to buccaneer it on your belly. That there's a difference 'twixt us and You see the spirit of your Cooks then, France;

SireAnd long, we hope, that 'diff'renice' Determin'a nobly to support their we'll endure.

locks : We know KING LEWIS wou'd, with And should your guards be order'd out pow'r fo dread,

to fire, Not only cut the hair off, but the bead. Their guns may be oppos'd by spits Oh! tell us, sir, in loyalty fo true,

and crocks: What dire designing raggamuffins Knives, forks, and spoons, may Aly, with faid,

plates a store, That we, your Cooks, are such a nafty And all the thunder of the kitchen roar, crew,

Nat. Gardner, Yeoman of the mouth, Great Sir! as to have crawlers in our declares head?

He'll join the standard of your ixMy Liege, you can't find one thro' all jur'd Cooks our houfe

Each scullion, turnbroche, for redress Not if you'd give a guinea for a louse.

prepares, What creature 'twas you found upon your women too-imprimis, Mrs Dyer,

And puts on, very formidable looks: your plate

Whofe eggs are good as ever felt a fire: We know not--if a louse, it was not

Next Sweeper-general Bickley, Mrs. To have each Cook's poor unoffending Mary, pate,

With that fam'd bell-ringer call's Betrays too much of arbitrary pow'rs-- Mrs Loman The act humanity and justice hocks Ann Spencer, guardian of the Necese Let him who owns the crawler lose his sarylocks.

That is to say, the necessary woman But grant upon your plate this touse lo All these, an't please you, Sir, fo fierce, dread,

determine How can you say, Sir, it belongs to To join us in the cause of hair and yer

mine. us Maggots are found in many a princely There's Mistress Stewart-Mr Richard head ;

Day, · And if a maggot, why then not a Who find your sacred Majesty in linen louse?

Are ready to support us in our frayNay, grant the fact with horror fhould * You can't conceive the passion they you shrink?

have been in It could not eat your Majesty, we think. They swear so much your scheme of Hunger, my Liege, hath oft been felt fhaving hurts, by Kings,

You shan't have pocket-handkerchiefs As well as people of inferior fate

or thirts. Quarrels with Cooks are therefore dan. The grocers, Clarke and Tailor, curse gerous things

the scheme, We cannot answer for your stomach's fate :

And say whate'er we do, the world

won't blame usPor by your fize we frankly must de. so Comber says, who gives you milk and

clare You feed on more fubftantial stuff than air.

And thus your old friend, Mr Lewis.

Ramus. My Liege, a Universe hath been your W think your sacred Majesty would foes :

mutter The times have look'd mog miser. At lofs of sugar, milk, and cream, and ably black



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W folved to rhymes

Suppose, an't please you, Sir, that Mif- O KING ! oir wives are in the kits trefs Kautton

chen, roaring, And Mistress Maijrfield, fierce as ty- All ready in rebellion ; ready now to ger cats ;

rise One Överleer of all the beef and mutton. They mock our humble method of im

The other Lady President of fpratsam ploring, Suppole in opposition to your wish, And bid us guard against a wigofura This locks away the flesh; and that the prise : fith

Yours is the hair (they cry) th’ AlSuppose John Clarke refuse supplies of « And not a King in Christendom should

; muftard,

thave ye.So necessary to your beef and bacon? Will Roberts all the apple-pie and custard, Ló! on th' event the world impatient Your Majesty would growl, of we're

looks, miftakep

And thinks the joke is carried mucki Suppose that Wells, a stubborn temper, too far studying,

Then pray, Sir, listen to your faithful. Should take the plums off from the Sun

Cooks, day pudding?

Nor in the Palace breed a civil war: Suppose that Rainsforth with our corps

Loud roars our band, and, obftinate as unites?

pigs, We mean the man who all the tallow. Cry, ** Locks and Liberty, and dampi

the Wigs." handles Suppofe he daring locks up all the

lightsHow could your Majesty contrive for

An Apologetic Ode. --By the fame. candles? You'd Be (excuse the freedom of re- ORLD! stop thy mouth-I am reë

mark) Like fone Administrations in the dark. I cannot throw away a vein fublime. We dare assure you that our grief is

* If I may take the liberty to brag; great

I cannot; like the fellow in the Bible; And oft indeed our feelings it enrages,

Venting upon

his master a rank libel, To see your sacred Majesty beset

Conceal my talent in a rag. By fuch a graceless gang of idle pages Kings must continue ftill to be my And, ivith submission to your judgmenta


Eternally of Kings I dream. We think old Madam SWELLENBERG &

As beggars ev'ry night, we must fupi Iyar.

pose, Suppose, GREAT SI Ř, that by your cru- Dream of their vermin, in their beds;

Because, as ev'ry body knows; The barbers should attack our hum.

Such things are always running in ble head,

their heads. And that we should not chuse to breed a riot,

Yet some approach with apoftolic face, Because we might not wish to lose And cry, “ O PEPER, what a want of our bread;

grace Say, would the triumph o'er each harm- " Thus in thy rhyme to roaft a.

less Cook Make GEORGE THE THIRD like ÅLEX- I roaft à King! by heav'ns 'tis not i

facta ANDER look?

I fcorn such wicked and disojal act Dread Şir, reflect on JOHNNY Wilkes's

Who dares aflert it, fay sa land'rous fate;

thing. Supported chiefly by a paultry rabble WILKES bade defiance to your frowns The Bible warrants me to speak the and state,

truthAnd got the better in that famous Nor mealy-mouth'd my tongue in fisquabble :

lence keep : Poor was the victory you wih'd to win, Did not good NATHAN tell that buckith That let the mouth of EUROPE on the youth,

DAVID the King, that he fole Sheep?


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207 Stole poorUmrah'slittlefay'rite lamba Strange I should never of a dumpling An ewe it chanc'd to be, and not a dream

But, Goody, tell me where, where, For had it been a ram, the royal glut- where's the seam?" ton

« Sir, there's no seam (quoth she ;) I Had never meddled with URIAH's never knew

"' That folks ' did apple dumplings What modern Courtier, pray, hath got "No! (cried the staring Monarch with

few." the face

a grin) To say to Majesty " O King,

“ How, how the devil got the apple " At such a time, in such a place,

in You did a very foolish thing?" What Courtier, not a foç to his own Reader, thoy likest not my tale-look'st glory,

blue Would publish of his King this simple Thou art a Courtiery-roarest“ Lies, story?

Lies, Lies !

Do, for a moment, stop thy criesThe APPLE DUMPLINGS and a KING.

I tell thee, roaring infidel, 'tis true. Once on a time, 9 Monarch, tird with Why should it not be true? The greatest

Whipping, and spurring,

May ask a foolish question now and
Happy in worrying

thenA poor defenceless, harmless buck, This is the language of all ages: The horse and rider wet as muck,

Folly lays many å trap--we can't efFrom his high consequence and wisdom ftooping,

Nemo (fays foine one) omnibus horis Enter'd, through curiosity, a cot,

Sapit: Where sat a poor old woman and her pot.

Then why not Kingslike me and

otber fages? The wrinkl’d, blear-ey'd, good old

granny, In this fame cot illum'd by many a cranny, 's

A Story. By the famei Had finish'd apple dumplings for her

VID, sweet story-tellêr of old In tempting row the naked dumplings #

times, lay,

Unluckný transported for his rhymes, When, lo! the Monarch, in his usual Address’d, his book before he bade it

walk;** way,

Therefore my Worship, and my Ode, Like lightning fpoke, “ What's this?

In imitation of such classic mode, what's this? what? what?

· Muft, like two Indian nations, have a Then taking up a dumpling in his hand,

Talk. His eyes with admiration did expand « Dear Ode! whose verle the true subAnd oft did Majesty the dumpling, lime affords, grapple :

Go, visit Kings, Queens, Parasites, "'Tis monstrous, monstrous hard in- and Lords ; deed, he cried :

« And if thy modeft beauties they adore, “ What makes it, pray, so hard?”—The ** Inform them, they shall speedily Dame replied,

have more." Low curtsying, “ Please your Ma- But possibly a mighty King may say~jefty, the apple."

« Ode! Ode!What? What? I hate

your rhyme haranguing ; * Very astonishing indeed !-trange

“ I'd rather hear a jackass bray: thing?"

“I never knew a poet worth the hangTurning the dumpling round, rejoin'd:

ing. the King. 'Tis most extraordinary then, all this "I hate, abhor them--but I'll clip their ism


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wings ; " It beats Pinetti's conjuring all to " I'II teach the faucy knaves to laugh pieces

at Kings : VOL. VI. No 33

* B.b



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“ Yes, yes, the rhyming rogues their All hands aloft, with one tremendous songs shall rue,

roar, “ A ragged, bold-fac'd, ballad-singing Soon did they make him wish himself

on fhore; Yes, yes, the poets Mall my pow'r His head and ears most handsomely confess ;

they dous'd“ I'll maul that spawning devil call'd Just like a porpus, with one general the Press.

fhout, If furious thus exclaim a King of glory, The waves so tumbled the poor King Tell him, O gentle Muse, this pithy aboute ftory:

No Anabaptist e'er was half so fous'd. “ Canute was by his nobles taught to At length to land he crawl’d, a half

fancy, " That by a kind of royal necromancy Indeed more like a erab than like a

drown'd thing, “ He, had the pow'r Old Ocean to

King, controul

And found his Courtiers making rue. 6 Down rush'd the Royal Dane upon

ful faces : the Strand,

But what said Canute to the Lords and " And ilsued, like a Solomon, com

Gentry, mand

Who hail'd him from the water, on his “ Poor soul !!

entry, “ Go back, ye waves, you bluft'ring All trembling for their lives or plarogues, quoth he,

ces : 46 Touch not your Lord and Master, SEA,

6 My Lords and Gentlemen, by your “ For, by my pow'r almighty, if you

advice, dow

66 I've had with Mr Sea a pretty " Then staring vengeance-out he held a stick,

« My treatment from my foe not over " Vowing to drive Old Ocean to Old

nice, Nick,

“ Just made a jeft for ev'ry shrimp 6. Should he ev'n wet the latchet of

and muscle : his Moe."

A pretty trick for one of my domi. The Sea retird-the Monarch fierce 9

nion ! rush'd on,

“ My Lords, I thank you for your great And look'd as if he'd drive him from

opinion. the land But Ses not caring to be put upon, “ You'll tell me, prhaps, I've only loft Made for a moment a bold stand:

one game,

“ And bid me. try another--for the Not only make a stand did Mr OCEAN,

rubber But to his honest waves he made a mo

66 Permit me to inform you all with tion,

'fhame, And bid them give the King a hearty

6 That you're a set of Knaves, and trimming :

I'm a Lubber," The orders feem'd a deal the waves to

tickle, For soon they put his Majesty in pickle, ; And fet his Royalties, like geese, a


bustle ;


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