Here, as it happ'd, a hardy tar Had been to often to the bar, That Jack at last no more could pour in, The signal-tap Albinus hears, With joy elate he trips down stairs, But, lo! in the morning, how great his surprise, By his mess to be sew'd up alive in his cot. The Doctor, though stagger'd, unloosen'd the sack, "To so much convenience why start you objection? If I've had your guinea, Sir, you have had tantum; And you've only to slaughter the man when you want him." EPIGRAM EPIGRAM THE CIRCUMSTANCE OF TRAVELLERS NEVER HAVING WHEN from the bower where pleasures grew, His beauteous partner quitted too, And since-all travellers have said, No trace they can explore. They 're right-when lovely woman fled, 'T was Paradise no more. EPIGRAMS. [From the same, Oct. 18.] OM Tart declares that womankind ΤΟΜ To tattle are so much inclin'd, Not one of them can silence keep, Her tongue will wag ev'n in her sleep, She will unwarily unfold, Excepting one which he'll engage She 'll never blab-that is, her age! H. G. QUEEN Bess, once in council, was given to know That a corps of her cavalry fled from the foe; But, in telling the tale, it came out unawares, "That the troopers were tailors, all mounted on mares: "Nay, then," says the Queen, "tho' the rogues ran away, I have not lost a man nor a horse in the fray!" A THE AUCTIONEER AND THE BAILIFF. N Auctioneer, whose talents scarce avail'd him A Sheriff's Officer he chanc'd to meet, A quondam crony, who, with lowly bend, And as you've done your office, I'll do mine- EXTEMPORE, H.G. ON READING SOME LINES ON TRAVELLERS HAVING NEVER FROM [From the Morning Post, Oct. 26.] ROM Eden's bower when woman ran, You're right, nor can the foot of man Its once-fam'd spot explore, But out of this each blessing flows, For woman, wheresoe'er she goes, Creates a Paradise! CLIQ JACK EPITAPH ON JOHN BROWN. [From the Morning Chronicle, Oct. 28.] ACK Brown, who lies here, was a-swimming one day, And Death, as it happen'd, was angling that way; The poor fellow was hook'd, and caught up in a crack; He little thought Death was a-fishing for Jack. ON READING THE FOREGOING. SINCE Death has turn'd angler," says Andrew to Jim, "I'll go no more into the water to swim." To Andrew quoth Jim, "This is all very fine, But you know Death can fish on shore too with a line." MR. EDITOR, B FIDDLE. [From the same, Oct. 28.] COWPER's "Mary" is unquestionably a pleasing production; but it has had the unfortunate effect of inducing a great number of mawkish imitations. As I perceive this mode of gaining reputation, by clinging to the skirts of a bard, is not at an end, I have resolved to write so sublime and beautiful an effusion as shall leave at a distance all competition, and silence for ever these underlings of Parnassus. To wit: Who is that constant friend and kind, B-m-fiddle! Who ne'er complains, though oft opprest, Hard words when I could not decline 'em At Billingsgate, the vulgar race Will oft invite to kiss his face; B-m-fiddle! But, save the courtier, wanting place, B-m-fiddle! Whe Who makes to learning no pretence, B-m-fiddle! Who bids me oft my ways to mend ? B-m-fiddle! I am, Sir, your very obedient servant, Chapter Coff. H. F. THE BOULOGNE VICTORY. [From the British Press, Oct. 28.] BONAPARTE, on a visit to Boulogne, would see The achievements his fleet could accomplish at sea; So order'd it out, and the Admiral told, "You see yonder frigate of England so bold- But, alas! they got drubb'd, and the whole ran away, The great man was quite frantic-the Queen, in a fright, Requested to know the result of the fight. "Where's the frigate?" she ask'd. Finding silence were vain, He replied, "She was riddled, and sunk in the main.". "And the praam which 't is rumour'd is gone-where is she?" "The praam! oh, the praam, why, she's-drifted at sea." T. Q. ADVERTISEMENT |