IV. Nelson was once Britannia's god of war, At which the naval people are concern'd: V. Brave men were living before Agamemnon, [1] A good deal like him, too, though quite the same none; Fit for my poem, (that is, for my new one;) VI. Most epic poets plunge in " medias res,” Palace, or garden, paradise, or cavern, VII. That is the usual method-but not mine- Forbids all wandering as the worst of sinning, (Although it cost me half an hour in spinning) Narrating somewhat of Don Juan's father, And also of his mother, if you'd rather. VIII. In Seville was he born, a pleasant city, IX. His father's name was Jose-Don of course, Or, being mounted, e'er got down again, Begot-but that's to come -Well, to renew; X. His mother was a learned lady-famed XI. Her memory was a mine-she knew by heart So that if any actor miss'd his part, She could have served him for the prompter's copy; For her Feinagle's were an useless art, And he himself obliged to shut up shop-he Could never make a memory so fine as That which adorn'd the brain of Donna Inez. XII. Her favourite science was the mathematical, XIII. She knew the Latin-that is, "The Lord's Prayer," At least her conversation was obscure; Her thoughts were theorems-her words a problem- XIV. She liked the English and the Hebrew tongue, But I must leave the proofs to those who've seen 'em : But this I heard her say, and can't be wrong, And all may think which way their judgments lead 'em, "'Tis strange-the Hebrew noun which means I am,' "The English always use to govern d—n.” XV. XVI. In short, she was a walking calculation, Miss Edgeworth's novels stepping from their covers, Or Mrs. Trimmer's books on education, Or " Cœlebs' Wife" set out in quest of lovers, Morality's prim personification, In which not envy's self a flaw discovers, To others' share let "female errors fall," For she had not even one-the worst of all. XVII. Oh she was perfect, past all parallel Of any modern female saint's comparison; So far above the cunning powers of hell, Her guardian angel had given up his garrison; Even her minutest motions went as well As those of the best time-piece made by Harrison: In virtues nothing earthly could surpass her, Save thine" incomparable oil," Macassar! [2] XVIII. Perfect she was, but as perfection is (I wonder how they got through the twelve hours) Don Jose, like a lineal son of Eve, Went plucking various fruits without her leave. XIX. He was a mortal of the careless kind, With no great love for learning or the learn'd, To see a kingdom or a house o'erturn'd, XX. Now Donna Inez had, with all her merit, And sometimes mix'd up fancies with realities, Of getting her Hege lord into a scrape. XXI. This was an easy matter with a man Oft in the wrong, and never on his guard: And fans turn into falchions in fair hands, XXII. 'Tis pity learned virgins ever wed With persons of no sort of education, Or gentlemen, who, though well born and bred, Grow tired of scientific conversation; I don't choose to say much upon this head, I'm a plain man, and in a single station, But-oh! ye lords of ladies intellectual, Inform us truly, have they not hen-pecked you all? XXIII. Don Jose and his lady quarrell'd-why, I loathe that low vice, curiosity, But if there's any thing in which I shine 'Tis in arranging all my friends' affairs, Not having, of my own, domestic cares. |