THE TOUR

Byron.

T

HIRTEEN as twelve my Murray always took.
He was a publisher. The New Police

Have neater ways of bringing men to book,
So Juan found himself before J. Ps.

Accused of storming through that placid nook
At practically any pace you please.
The Dogberry, and the Waterbury made
It forty mile-five pounds. And Juan paid.

THE IDIOT BOY

Wordsworth.

E wandered down the mountain-grade
Beyond the speed assigned-

A youth whom Justice often stayed

And generally fined.

He went alone, and none might know

If he could drive or steer;

Now he is in the ditch, and O!
The differential gear!

THE LANDAU

Praed.

T

HERE was a landau deep and wide,

Cushioned for Sleep's own self to sit on-
The glory of the country-side

From Tanner's End to Marlow Ditton.
John of the broad and brandied cheek
(Well I recall its eau-de-vie hues!)
Drove staid Sir Ralph five days a week
At speeds which we considered Jehu's.

But now poor John sleeps very sound,
And neither hears nor smells the fuss
Of the young squire's nine hundred pound-
Er-Mors communis omnibus*

And I who in my daily stroll

Observe the reckless chauffeur crowd her

Laudator temporis, extol

The times before the Act allowed her.

TH

CONTRADICTIONS

HE drowsy carrier sways

Longfellow.

To the drowsy horses' tramp.
His axles winnow the sprays

Of the hedge where the rabbit plays
In the light of his single lamp.

He hears a horn behind

And the jar of an angry bell.
A headlight strikes him blind
And a stench o'erpowers the wind
Like a blast from the mouth of Hell.

He mends his swingle-bar,

And loud his curses ring;

But a mother waiting afar

Hears the roar of the doctor's car
Like the beat of an angel's wing!

So to the poet's mood

Motor or carrier's van,
Properly understood,

Be neither evil nor good-
Ormuzd nor Ahriman.

FASTNESS

Τ

HIS is the end whereto men toiled

Tennyson.

Before thy coachman guessed his fate,

How thou shouldst leave thy 'scutcheoned gate

On that new wheel which is the oiled

To see the England Shakespeare saw
(Oh, Earth, 'tis long since Shallow died!
Yet by yon farrowed sow may hide
Some blue, deep minion of the Law)-

To range from Ashby-de-la-Zouch
By Lyonesse to Locksley Hall
Or haply, nearer home, appal
Thy father's sister's staid barouche.