Mad drunk and resisting the Guard— I started o' canteen porter, I finished o' canteen beer, But a dose o' gin that a mate slipped in, it was that that brought me here. 'Twas that and an extry double Guard that rubbed my nose in the dirt But I fell away with the Corp'ral's stock and the best of the Corp'ral's shirt. I left my cap in a public-house, my boots in the public road, And Lord knows where-and I don't care-my belt and my tunic goed. They'll stop my pay, they'll cut away the stripes I used to wear, But I left my mark on the Corp'ral's face, and I think he'll keep it there! My wife she cries on the barrack-gate, my kid in the barrack yard, It ain't that I mind the Ord'ly room-it's that that cuts so hard. I'll take my oath before them both that I will sure abstain, But as soon as I'm in with a mate and gin, I know I'll do it again! With a second-hand overcoat under my head, Yes, it's pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C. B. So it's pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C. B. GUNGA DIN You may talk o' gin and beer When you're quartered safe out 'ere, An' you're sent to penny-fights an' Aldershot it; You will do your work on water, An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got it. Where I used to spend my time A-servin' of 'Er Majesty the Queen, Of all them blackfaced crew The finest man I knew Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din. "You limpin' lump o' brick-dust, Gunga Din! "Water, get it! Panee lao1 "You squidgy-nosed old idol, Gunga Din." The uniform 'e wore Was nothin' much before, An' rather less than 'arf o' that be'ind, For a piece o' twisty rag An' a goatskin water-bag Was all the field-equipment 'e could find. When the sweatin' troop-train lay In a sidin' through the day, Where the 'eat would make your bloomin' eyebrows crawl, We shouted "Harry By!"2 Till our throats were bricky-dry, Then we wopped 'im 'cause 'e couldn't serve us all. 1Bring water swiftly. 20 brother. It was "Din! Din! Din! "You 'eathen, where the mischief 'ave you been? "You put some juldee1 in it "Or I'll marrow2 you this minute "If you don't fill up my helmet, Gunga Din!" 'E would dot an' carry one Till the longest day was done; An' 'e didn't seem to know the use o' fear. If we charged or broke or cut, You could bet your bloomin' nut, 'E'd be waitin' fifty paces right flank rear. With 'is mussick on 'is back, 'E would skip with our attack, An' watch us till the bugles made "Retire” 'E was white, clear white, inside When 'e went to tend the wounded under fire! With the bullets kickin' dust-spots on the green You could hear the front-ranks shout, "Hi! ammunition-mules an' Gunga Din!" I sha'n't forgit the night When I dropped be'ind the fight With a bullet where my belt-plate should 'a' been. I was chokin' mad with thirst, An' the man that spied me first Was our good old grinnin', gruntin' Gunga Din. 'E lifted up my An' he plugged me where I bled, 'Be quick Hit you. 'Water-skin. An' 'e guv me 'arf-a-pint o' water green. But of all the drinks I've drunk, I'm gratefullest to one from Gunga Din. "'Ere's a beggar with a bullet through 'is spleen; "An' 'e's kickin' all around: "For Gawd's sake git the water, Gunga Din!” 'E carried me away To where a dooli lay, An' a bullet come an' drilled the beggar clean. 'E put me safe inside, An' just before 'e died, "I 'ope you liked your drink," sez Gunga Din. So I'll meet 'im later on At the place where 'e is gone Where it's always double drill and no canteen. 'E'll be squattin' on the coals Givin' drink to poor damned souls, An' I'll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din! You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din! Though I've belted you and flayed you, OONTS (Northern India Transport Train) WOT makes the soldier's 'eart to penk, wot makes ’im to perspire? It isn't standin' up to charge nor lyin' down to fire; For the commissariat camel an' 'is commissariat load. O the oont,1 O the oont, O the commissariat oont! We packs 'im like an idol, an' you ought to 'ear 'im grunt, breaks. Wot makes the rear-guard swear so 'ard when night is drorin' in, An' every native follower is shiverin' for 'is skin? It ain't the chanst o' being rushed by Paythans from the 'ills, It's the commissariat camel puttin' on 'is bloomin' frills! O the oont, O the oont, O the hairy scary oont! A-trippin' over tent-ropes when we've got the night alarm! We socks 'im with a stretcher-pole an' 'eads 'im off in front, An' when we've saved 'is bloomin' life 'e chaws our bloomin' arm. The 'orse 'e knows above a bit, the bullock's but a fool, O the oont, O the oont, O the Gawd-forsaken oont! An' when we get him up again-the beggar goes an' 'E'll gall an' chafe an' lame an' fight-'e smells most awful vile. 'E'll lose 'isself for ever if you let 'im stray a mile. 'E's game to graze the 'ole day long an' 'owl the 'ole night through. An' when 'e comes to greasy ground 'e splits 'isself in two. 'Camel:-00 is pronounced like u in "bull," but by Mr. Atkins to rhyme with "front." |