II

"TWAS when the rain fell steady an' the Ark was pitched an' ready,

That Noah got his orders for to take the bastes below; He dragged them all together by the horn an' hide an' feather, An' all excipt the Donkey was agreeable to go.

First Noah spoke him fairly, thin talked to him sevarely,

An' thin he cursed him squarely to the glory av the Lord:"Divil take the ass that bred you, and the greater ass that fed you

"Divil go wid ye, ye spalpeen!" an' the Donkey wint aboard.

But the wind was always failin', an' 'twas most onaisy sailin', An' the ladies in the cabin couldn't stand the stable air; An' the bastes betwuxt the hatches, they tuk an' died in batches,

Till Noah said: "There's wan av us that hasn't paid his fare!"

For he heard a flusteration 'mid the bastes av all creation-
The trumpetin' av elephints an' bellowin' av whales;
An' he saw forninst the windy whin he wint to stop the shindy
The Divil wid a stable-fork was bedivillin' their tails.

The Divil cursed outrageous, but Noah said umbrageous:"To what am I indebted for this tenant-right invasion?" An' the Divil gave for answer: "Evict me if you can, sir, "For I came in wid the Donkey-on Your Honour's invitation."

PAN IN VERMONT

1893

(About the 15th of this month you may expect our Mr.-, with the usual Spring Seed, etc., Catalogues.-Florists' Announcement.)

IT'S forty in the shade to-day the spouting eaves declare; The boulders nose above the drift, the southern slopes are bare;

Hub-deep in slush Apollo's car swings north along the Zodiac. Good lack, the Spring is back, and Pan is on the road!

His house is Gee & Tellus' Sons,-so goes his jest with menHe sold us Zeus knows what last year; he'll take us in again. Disguised behind a livery-team, fur-coated, rubber-shodYet Apis from the bull-pen lows-he knows his brother God!

Now down the lines of tasselled pines the yearning whispers wake

Pitys of old thy love behold. Come in for Hermes' sake! How long since that so-Boston boot with reeling Mænads ran?

Numen adest! Let be the rest. Pipe and we pay, O Pan.

(What though his phlox and hollyhocks ere half a month demised?

What though his ampelopsis clambered not as advertised? Though every seed was guaranteed and every standard true— Forget, forgive they did not live! Believe, and buy anew!)

Now o'er a careless knee he flings the painted page abroad—
Such bloom hath never eye beheld this side the Eden Sword;
Such fruit Pomona marks her own, yea, Liber oversees
That we may reach (one dollar each) the Lost Hesperides!

Serene, assenting, unabashed, he writes our orders down:Blue Asphodel on all our paths-a few true bays for crownUncankered bud, immortal flower, and leaves that never fallApples of Gold, of Youth, of Health-and-thank you, Pan, that's all.

He's off along the drifted pent to catch the Windsor train, And swindle every citizen from Keene to Lake Champlain; But where his goat's-hoof cut the crust-beloved, look below

He's left us (I'll forgive him all) the may-flower 'neath her snow!

VERSES ON GAMES

(To an Almanac of Twelve Sports by W. Nicholson, 1898.)

HERE is a horse to tame

Here is a gun to handle

God knows you can enter the game
If you'll only pay for the same,

And the price of the game is a candle

A single flickering candle!

JANUARY (Hunting) Certes, it is a noble sport,

And men have quitted selle and swum for't. But I am of the meeker sort

And I prefer Surtees in comfort.

Reach me my Handley Cross again,

My run, where never danger lurks, is

With Jorrocks and his deathless train-
Pigg, Binjimin, and Artexerxes.

FEBRUARY (Coursing) Most men harry the world for funEach man seeks it a different way,

But "of all daft devils under the sun,

A greyhound's the daftest" says Jorrocks J.

MARCH (Racing) The horse is ridden-the jockey rides— The backers back-the owners own

But

there are lots of things beside,

And I should let this game alone.

APRIL (Rowing) The Pope of Rome he could not win
From pleasant meats and pleasant sin

These who, replying not, submit

Unto the curses of the pit

Which that stern coach (oh, greater shame)
Flings forth by number not by name.
Can Triple Crown or Jesuit's oath
Do what one wrathful trainer doth?

MAY (Fishing) Behold a parable. A fished for B
C took her bait; her heart being set on D.

Thank heaven who cooled your blood and cramped your

wishes,

Men and not Gods torment you, little fishes!

JUNE (Cricket) Thank God who made the British Isles

And taught me how to play,
I do not worship crocodiles,
Or bow the knee to clay!

Give me a willow wand and I

With hide and cork and twine

From century to century

Will gambol round my shrine!

JULY (Archery) The child of the Nineties considers with laughter

The maid whom his sire in the Sixties ran after,
While careering himself in pursuit of a girl whom
The Twenties will dub a "last century heirloom."

AUGUST (Coaching) The Pious Horse to church may trot, A maid may work a man's salvation

Four horses and a girl are not,

However, roads to reformation.

SEPTEMBER (Shooting) "Peace upon Earth, Goodwill to men" So greet we Christmas Day!

Oh, Christian, load your gun and then

Oh, Christian, out and slay.

OCTOBER (Golf) Why Golf is art and art is Golf

We have not far to seek

So much depends upon the lie,

So much upon the cleek.

NOVEMBER (Boxing) Read here the moral roundly writ

For him who into battle goes—

Each soul that hitting hard or hit,

Endureth gross or ghostly foes.
Prince, blown by many overthrows

Half blind with shame, half choked with dirt

Man cannot tell, but Allah knows

How much the other side was hurt!

DECEMBER (Skating) Over the ice she flies

Perfect and poised and fair. Stars in my true-love's eyes Teach me to do and dare.

Now will I fly as she flies

Woe for the stars that misled.

Stars I beheld in her eyes,

Now do I see in my head!