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Next the sleepy Babu wake,
Book a Kalka van "for four." Few, I think, will care to make Journeys with me any more As they used to do of yore.
I shall need a "special brake”— "Thing I never took before
Get me one for old sake's sake.
After that-arrangements make.
And a bullock's back would break
Do your best for old sake's sake.
After that-your work is done.
I could never stand the Plains.
'Three days' leave.
THE OVERLAND MAIL
(Foot-service to the Hills.)
IN THE name of the Empress of India, make way,
We exiles are waiting for letters from Home.
With a jingle of bells as the dusk gathers in,
He turns to the footpath that heads up the hillThe bags on his back and a cloth round his chin, And, tucked in his waistbelt, the Post Office bill;"Despatched on this date, as received by the rail, "Per runner, two bags of the Overland Mail.”
Is the torrent in spate? He must ford it or swim.
While the breath's in his mouth, he must bear without fail,
From aloe to rose-oak, from rose-oak to fir,
From level to upland, from upland to crest,
From rice-field to rock-ridge, from rock-ridge to spur,
From rail to ravine-to the peak from the vale-
There's a speck on the hillside, a dot on the road-
IT WAS an artless Bandar1 and he danced upon a pine, And much I wondered how he lived, and where the beast might dine,
And many many other things, till, o'er my morning smoke, I slept the sleep of idleness and dreamt that Bandar spoke.
He said: "O man of many clothes! Sad crawler on the Hills! "Observe, I know not Ranken's shop, nor Ranken's monthly bills!
"I take no heed to trousers or the coats that you call dress; "Nor am I plagued with little cards for little drinks at Mess.
"I steal the bunnia's grain at morn, at noon and eventide "(For he is fat and I am spare), I roam the mountain-side, "I follow no man's carriage, and no, never in my life "Have I flirted at Peliti's with another Bandar's wife.
"O man of futile fopperies-unnecessary wraps; "I own no ponies in the hills, I drive no tallwheeled traps "I buy me not twelve-button gloves, 'short-sixes' eke, or rings, "Nor do I waste at Hamilton's my wealth on 'pretty things.
"I quarrel with my wife at home, we never fight abroad; "But Mrs. B. has grasped the fact I am her only lord. "I never heard of fever-dumps nor debts depress my soul; "And I pity and despise you!" Here he pouched my break
His hide was very mangey and his face was very red,
So I answered:-"Gentle Bandar, an inscrutable Decree, "Makes thee a gleesome fleasome Thou, and me a wretched Me.
"Go! Depart in peace, my brother, to thy home amid the pine;
"Yet forget not once a mortal wished to change his lot with thine."
THE MASQUE OF PLENTY
ARGUMENT.-The Indian Government being minded to discover the economic condition of their lands, sent a Committee to inquire into it; and saw that it was good.
SCENE.-The wooded heights of Simla. The Incarnation of the Government of India in the raiment of the Angel of Plenty sings, to pianoforte accompaniment:
"HOW sweet is the shepherd's sweet life!
From the dawn to the even he strays—
He shall follow his sheep all the day
(largendo con sp.) Now this is the position,
Into their real condition
As swiftly as ye may.
(p) Ay, paint our swarthy billions
Ere two well-led cotillions
Have danced themselves away.
TURKISH PATROL, as able and intelligent Investigators wind down the Himalayas:
What is the state of the Nation? What is its occupation? Hi! get along, get along, get along-lend us the information!
(dim.) Census the byle1 and the yabu-capture a first-class Babu,
Set him to file Gazetteers-Gazetteers
(f) What is the state of the Nation, etc., etc.
INTERLUDE, from Nowhere in Particular, to stringed and Oriental instruments.
Our cattle reel beneath the yoke they bear-
The well is dry beneath the village tree-
Pray, brothers, pray, but to no earthly King—
Look westward-bears the blue no brown cloud-bank?
On our own field and by our cattle's flank
Lie down, lie down to die!
1 The ox and the pony.