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They walk beside Her 'rickshaw-wheels-
And that's because I'm seventeen
She rides with half a dozen men
(She calls them "boys" and "mashes"),
My prettiest frocks and sashes
From ten to two A.M. Ah me!
Would I were forty-nine.
She calls me "darling," "pet," and "dear,'
And "sweet retiring maid."
I'm always at the back, I know—
She puts me in the shade.
But even She must older grow
At concerts, balls, and plays.
TO THE UNKNOWN GODDESS
WILL you conquer my heart with your beauty, my soul
going out from afar?
Shall I fall to your hand as a victim of crafty and cautious shikar?
Have I met you and passed you already, unknowing, unthinking, and blind?
Shall I meet you next season at Simla, O sweetest and best of your kind?
Does the P. and O. bear you to meward, or, clad in short frocks in the West,
Are you growing the charms that shall capture and torture the heart in my breast?
Will you stay in the Plains till September-my passion as warm as the day?
Will you bring me to book on the Mountains, or where the thermantidotes play?
When the light of your eyes shall make pallid the mean lesser lights I pursue,
And the charm of your presence shall lure me from love of the gay "thirteen-two"1;
When the "peg" and the pigskin shall please not; when I buy me Calcutta-built clothes;
When I quit the Delight of Wild Asses, forswearing the swearing of oaths;
As a deer to the hand of the hunter when I turn 'mid the gibes of my friends;
When the days of my freedom are numbered, and the life of the bachelor ends.
Ah, Goddess! child, spinster, or widow-as of old on Mars Hill when they raised
To the God that they knew not an altar-so I, a young Pagan, have praised
The Goddess I know not nor worship; yet, if half that men tell me be true,
You will come in the future, and therefore these verses are
written to you.
'Whisky and soda.
THE RUPAIYAT OF OMAR KAL'VIN
[Allowing for the difference 'twixt prose and rhymed exaggeration, this ought to reproduce the sense of what Sir A- told the nation some time ago, when the Government struck from our incomes two per cent.]
NOW the New Year, reviving last Year's Debt,
Imports indeed are gone with all their Dues-
Pay-and I promise by the Dust of Spring,
Indeed, indeed, Retrenchment oft before
Whether at Boileaugunge or Babylon,
I cannot help it. What have I to do
With One and Five, or Four, or Three, or Two?
Behold, I promise-Anything You will.
For if I sinned and fell, where lies the Gain
"Who hath not Prudence”—what was it I said,
Accursed is She of Eve's daughters-She
Destruction. . . . Brethren, of your Bounty grant Some portion of your daily Bread to Me!
The toad beneath the harrow knows
Preaches contentment to that toad.
PAGETT, M.P., was a liar, and a fluent liar therewith,He spoke of the heat of India as "The Asian Solar Myth";
Came on a four months' visit, to "study the East" in No
And I got him to make an agreement vowing to stay till September.
March came in with the köil. Pagett was cool and gay, Called me a "bloated Brahmin," talked of my "princely
"Where is your heat?"
"Skittles!" said Pagett, M.P.
April began with the punkah, coolies, and prickly-heat,— Pagett was dear to mosquitoes, sandflies found him a treat. He grew speckled and lumpy-hammered, I grieve to say, Aryan brothers who fanned him, in an illiberal way.
May set in with a dust-storm,-Pagett went down with the
All the delights of the season tickled him one by one.
Dysent'ry touched him in June, after the Chota Bursat
July was a trifle unhealthy,-Pagett was ill with fear,
But I hadn't seen my children for close upon seven years.
We reached a hundred and twenty once in the Court at noon, [I've mentioned Pagett was portly] Pagett went off in a
That was an end to the business. Pagett, the perjured, fled With a practical, working knowledge of "Solar Myths" in his head.
'The early rains.