I ain't more proud of 'avin' won,
Than I am pleased with Piet.

Ah there, Piet!-picked up be'ind the
drive!

The wonder wasn't 'ow 'e fought, but 'ow
'e kep' alive,

With nothin' in 'is belly, on 'is back, or to

'is feet

I've known a lot o' men behave a dam'
sight worse than Piet.

No more I'll 'ear 'is rifle crack
Along the block'ouse fence-
The beggar's on the peaceful tack,
Regardless of expense.

For countin' what 'e eats an' draws,
An' gifts an' loans as well,

'E's gettin' 'alf the Earth, because

'E didn't give us 'Ell!

Ah there, Piet! with your brand-new

English plough,

Your gratis tents an' cattle, an' your most ungrateful frow.

You've made the British taxpayer rebuild

your country-seat

I've known some pet battalions charge a dam' sight less than Piet.

"WILFUL-MISSING"

THERE is a world outside the one you know,
To which for curiousness 'Ell can't compare—
It is the place where "wilful-missings" go,

As we can testify, for we are there.

You may 'ave read a bullet laid us low,

That we was gathered in " with reverent care" And buried proper. But it was not so,

As we can testify, for we are there.

They can't be certain-faces alter so

After the old aasvogel's 'ad 'is share;

The uniform's the mark by which they go-
And ain't it odd ?-the one we best can spare.

We might 'ave seen our chance to cut the showName, number, record, an' begin elsewhereLeavin' some not too late-lamented foe

One funeral-private-British-for 'is share.

"WILFUL-MISSING"

We may 'ave took it yonder in the Low
Bush-veldt that sends men stragglin' unaware
Among the Kaffirs, till their columns go,

An' they are left past call or count or care.

We might 'ave been your lovers long ago,
'Usbands or children-comfort or despair.
Our death (an' burial) settles all we owe,
An' why we done it is our own affair.

Marry again, and we will not say no,

Nor come to bastardize the kids you bear: Wait on in 'ope-you've all your life below Before you'll ever 'ear us on the stair.

There is no need to give our reasons, though Gawd knows we all 'ad reasons which were fair;

But other people might not judge 'em so,

And now it doesn't matter what they were.

What man can size or weigh another's woe? There are some things too bitter 'ard to bear. Suffice it we 'ave finished-Domino!

As we can testify, for we are there,

In the side-world where "wilful-missings " go.

UBIQUE

THERE is a word you often see, pronounce it as you

may

"You bike," "you bykwe,” “ubbikwe "—alludin' to

R. A.

It serves 'Orse, Field, an' Garrison as motto for a

crest,

An' when you've found out all it means I'll tell you 'alf the rest.

Ubique means the long-range Krupp be'ind the low

range 'ill

Ubique means you'll pick it up an' while

stand still.

an' while you do

Ubique means you've caught the flash an' timed it

by the sound.

Ubique means five gunners' 'ash before you've loosed

a round.