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Brentford ]

THE "TWO KINGS" OF BRENTFORD.

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no suburb of the metropolis were the deaths from this cause heavier than here.

Charles II. stayed a night here at an old house which was taken to form the approach to St. Paul's church, from the High Street. Nell Gwynne lived for a time at Brent House, in the Butts.

Brentford figures also in the blacker pages of English history, six persons having been burnt here in 1558 for advocating the "new" opinions.

Cosmo III., Grand Duke of Tuscany, who was travelling in England in 1669, passed through Brentford on his way to London. In the account of his travels which he afterwards wrote, he calls the place "a very large village," and adds that he

who had been to wait upon him." His visit no doubt caused a general commotion in the neighbourhood, for he further remarks that "a very great number of people-men, women, and whoever were curious enough to come—were allowed to enter the dining-room."

the number of the slain, both in the encounter and in the skirmishing of the following day about Turnham Green, are probably much exaggerated. We are told in Clarendon's "History of England," that the common soldiers taken prisoners by the king's "army at Brentford were discharged on their simple promise not to take up arms again; but that the Puritan camp chaplains declared that they were not bound by such an oath, and absolved them from the necessity of keeping it!" We learn also that after the battle great damage was done in the neighbourhood by the Royalist soldiers, and liberal collections in aid of the sufferers were made. The Puritan John Lilburne was one of the prisoners taken in the encounter; and Charles I." dined there in company with all the gentlemen rewarded the Scottish Earl of Forth for his share in the engagement by creating him Earl of Brentford. The earldom was renewed by William III. as the second title of his favourite officer, the Duke of Schomberg; but it became extinct a second time in 1719. On the news of this repulse, the Parliament at once ordered fortifications to be thrown up, in order to prevent the king from pressing on to London, and next day they sent out the Trainbands, under the Earl of Essex, who encamped on Turnham Green; and after a day of irresolution the king drew back to Kingston-on-Thames. On this occasion, as we learn from Whitelock's "Memoirs," "the good wives and others, mindful of their husbands and friends, sent many cart-loads of provisions, and wines, and good things to Turnham Green, with which the soldiers were refreshed and made merry, and the more when they heard that the king's army was retreated." Brentford must have seen Oliver Cromwell pass in a sort of triumphal procession through the town.

Samuel Pepys would seem to have been a frequent visitor here; at all events, several notices of the place occur in his Diary between the years 1665 and 1669. A Mr. Povy, who resided here at that time, was one of his friends. He was evidently a rich man, inasmuch as his stud of horses was, according to Pepys' notion, "the best confessedly in England, the king having none such."

In

Brentford was the capital of the kingdom of the "Middle Saxons," whose name survives in Middlesex. The "two kings of Brentford " have passed into a proverb. As to the precise date when they reigned history is silent, but it must have been, if ever, in the Saxon times. The Duke of Buckingham's Play, "The Rehearsal," was written as a satire upon Dryden and the playwrights of his time, who often made reference to two kings fighting for a throne. "The Rehearsal" contains no regular plot, but some of the scenes are amusing. The scene of the play is Brentford. There are "two kings" and "two usurpers," and the two kings are represented as being very fond of each other. They come on the stage hand-in-hand, and are generally seen smelling at one rose or nosegay. Hearing the bystanders whisper, they imagine that they are being plotted against, and one says to the other :"Then, spite of Fate, we'll thus combined stand,

And, like true brothers, still walk hand-in-hand." They are driven from the throne by the usurpers; but towards the end of the play "the two right kings of Brentford descend in the clouds, singing, in white garments; and three fiddlers sitting before them in green;" upon which one of the usurpers says to the other :—

August, 1665, Mr. Pepys found that "the plague
was very bad round about here ;" and in the follow
ing month, one of his watermen (he seems generally
to have gone by water between London and Brent-
ford) "fell sick as soon as he landed me in London,
when I had been all night upon the water, and I
believe he did get his infection that day at Brent-king thus expresses his sentiments :-

ford, and is now dead of the plague." A spot now
known as "Dead Men's Graves," near the north
end of Green Dragon Lane, is said to be the place
of interment of those who died of the plague. In

"Then, brother Phys, 'tis time we should be gone." The usurpers having disappeared, the first right

"So firmly resolved is a true Brentford king
To save the distressed and help to 'em bring,
That ere a full-pot of good ale you can swallow.
He's here with a whoop, and gone with a holla.”

A dance is then performed before them, which is said to be "an ancient dance of right belonging to the kings of Brentford, but since derived, with a little alteration, to the Inns of Court."

Cowper, in his "Task " (Book 1), alludes to this dual sovereignty, comparing it to a "settee," or "sofa."

"United, yet divided, twain at once:

So sit two kings of Brentford on one throne." There is also an old ballad by an anonymous writer, commencing :—

"The noble king of Brentford

Was old and very sick;
He summoned his physicians
To wait upon him quick.
They stepped into their coaches,

And brought their best physic."
Again, in Prior's "Alma," we read :—
"So Brentford kings, discreet and wise,
After long thought and grave advice,
Into Lardella's coffin peeping,

Saw nought to cause their mirth or weeping." The reference here would be obscure and unintelligible were it not for the light thrown upon it by the play of "The Rehearsal," above.

Brentford, however, has gained notoriety in other ways than through its "two kings." In the "Merry Wives of Windsor," Falstaff is disguised as "the fat woman of Brentford;" and the town is referred to by Thomson, Gay, Goldsmith, and others, chiefly on account of its dirt. "With its long, narrow High Street, back slums, factories, and rough river-side and labouring population," writes Mr. J. Thorne, "Brentford has always borne an unenviable reputation for dirt and ill odours." He also quotes the following story from Boswell :— "When Dr. Adam Smith was expatiating on the beauty of Glasgow, Johnson cut him short by saying, Pray, sir, have you ever seen Brentford?' This, Boswell took the liberty of telling him, was shocking. 'Why then, sir,' he replied, 'You have never seen Brentford." No doubt he meant that dirty as parts of Glasgow may be, Brentford is worse. Gay speaks of

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The readers of Oliver Goldsmith will not forget the mention of this place in the "Citizen of the World," where he describes a race "run on the road from London to a village called Brentford, between a turnip-cart, a dust-cart, and a dungcart." It was through Brentford, too, as readers of Charles Dickens will remember, that little Oliver Twist was made to tramp by Bill Sikes on his way to the burglary at Shepperton, which had such an effect on his subsequent career.

The long dreary High Street of Brentford is not only dirty, but dull and monotonous, and quite devoid of interest. Almost the only incident connected with it worth narrating respecting it is that the Duke of Wellington, returning to London from Windsor Castle late at night in 1814, met with an accident to his carriage, which might have proved fatal to the future conqueror of Waterloo. Lord William Lennox, who was with him as his aide-de-camp, tells us that the townspeople, on hearing who was the occupier of the chariot, wanted to fasten ropes to it, and to drag it on to town.

The inhabitants of this place seem to have been regarded as vulgar, for Shenstone writes :-"There are no persons more solicitous about the preservation of rank than those who have no rank at all. Observe the humours of a country christening; and you will find no court in Christendom so ceremonious as the quality' of Brentford."

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Lying on the direct road to the west of England, Brentford has long been famous for its hostelries. Near to the old market house was an ancient timbered inn, "The Three Pigeons," mentioned by Ben Jonson-"We'll tickle it at the Pigeons ”—and the scene of some of the " Merry Jests" of George Poole, the early dramatist. It is known that many of Shakespeare's friends were visitors here; and it is probable that the immortal poet himself may have been within its walls. The house was taken down several years ago, and its low carved and panelled chambers disappeared. Mr. Thorne says that "at the Lion Inn, Henry VI., in 1445, assembled a large party, and after supper created Alonzo D'Almada Duke of Avranches, and next morning held a Chapter of the Garter (the only instance of a Chapter being held at an inn), at which he created two knights." He gives, however, no authority for the statement.

The "Wagon and Horses," near Kew Bridge, probably occupies the site of a certain "inn that goes down by the water-side," where the genial old gossiper Samuel Pepys tells us that he was entertained, and returned by water to London, having attended service at Brentford Church,

Brentford.]

THE "TUMBLE-DOWN DICK."

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Another noted hostelry here was the "Fumbledown Dick," a sign, by the way, which has given rise to some little speculation as to its meaning. "Tumble-down Dick," says the Advertiser, No. 9, 1752, "is a fine moral on the instability of greatness and the consequences of ambition." As such, it was set up in derision of Richard Cromwell, the allusion to his fall from power, or "tumble down," being very common in the satires published after the Restoration; and amongst others, Hudibras, thus, Part III., canto ii., 231:

"Next him, his son and heir apparent
Succeeded, though a lame vicegerent,
Who first laid by the Parliament,
The only crutch on which he leant,

And then sunk underneath the State

That rode him above horseman's weight."

The same idea, and almost the identical words, occur again in his "Remains," in the tale of the Cobbler and the Vicar of Bray :

"What's worse, old Noll is marching off,
And Dick, his heir apparent,
Succeeds him in the Government,
A very lame vice-regent.

He'll reign but little time, poor tool,
But sinks beneath the State,
That will not fail to ride the fool

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And made her show tricks, and curvate, and rebound; She quickly perceived he rode widdle-waddle, And like his coach-horses, threw his highness to ground. "Then Dick, being lame, rode holding the pummel, Not having the wit to get hold of the rein; But the jade did so snort at the sight of a Cromwell, That poor Dick and his kindred turned footmen again." "Tumble-down Dick" furnished the theme of many an old song, and it was also the name given to a dance in the last century.

In 1718, as we learn by a report in the Original Weekly Journal, a most brutal murder was committed at the above inn.

Old (East) Brentford Church, dedicated to St. George, is perhaps the ugliest of all the ugly churches which were built in the darkest period

In allusion to Cromwell's accident in Hyde Park in October, 1654, when his coach-horses ran away, and his highness, who was driving, fell from the box between the traces, and was dragged along a considerable distance. See "Old and New London," Vol. IV., p. 382.

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of architectural science, the first decade of George III. It is literally a square box of bricks pierced with apertures for windows, and nothing more. It is be-pewed and be-galleried to the utmost possible extent. Its only redeeming feature is a painting over the communion-table, representing the Last Supper. It was painted for this church by Zoffany, who lived (as we have already stated) at Strand on-the-Green. It is said that the faces of the apostles were all taken from local fishermen, except that of St. Peter, which is a portrait of Zoffany himself; his own black slave is also introduced. Zoffany, it may be added, was a native of Frankfort-on-the-Maine, and was born in 1735. Early in life he went to Italy, where he studied painting for some years. After his return to Germany, he practised for a few years as an historical and portrait painter at Coblentz on the Rhine, from which place he came to England a few years before the foundation of the Royal Academy, as he was elected one of its first members in 1768. In England Sir Joshua Reynolds and Garrick became valuable patrons to him, and he painted the latter in several of his characters. He also painted portraits of George III. and other members of the royal family. About 1781 Zoffany went to India, and lived for some time at Lucknow, where he met with the greatest success, and painted many large pictures of Indian life. He returned to London about the year 1796 with a large fortune, and afterwards settled at Strand-on

the-Green.

New (West) Brentford Church, at the other end of the town, is not quite so monstrous a building, though its body dates from about the same period. The old tower still stands. It is dedicated to St. Lawrence, whose festival was the day of Brentford Fair. This church was built originally on account of the springing up of a large river-side population, who could not go two miles to "hear masse" at their own parish church. The edifice was rebuilt in 1762. John Horne Tooke was minister* here before he threw up his orders and entered Parliament.

In the tower of this church is an ancient bell, supposed to be one of the earliest cast in England. The register, which dates from 1570, contains the names of two centenarians, one of them a surgeon in practice in the town. Apparently he took good care of his own health. In the year of the Great Plague the burials here were 103, the annual average being about 36.

This church contains some fine monuments in

"Brentford, the Bishopric of Parson Horne."--Mason.

stone and alabaster, including one in the chancel to Noy, the Attorney-General of Charles I., whose name figures in history in connection with the question of "ship-money." Noy's house, with its quaint barge-board roof, still stands close by the vicarage.

Among other persons buried here were Luke Sparks, a comedian of Covent Garden, and a friend of Quin-he spent his last years here, and died in 1768; Henry Giffard, and his wife Anna Mascella, who died in 1772 and 1777. He

1867-8, and is in the Early Decorated style of architecture, consisting of chancel, nave, aisles, tower, and a lofty spire.

The town-hall and market-house is a commodious building, and was erected in 1850.

Brentford is well stocked with works of various kinds, giving employment to a large number of hands. Here, for instance, are the gas-works, some extensive breweries and malt works, a large soap manufactory, a pottery, the Great Western Railway docks, spacious timber-yards and saw-mills.

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was proprietor of the theatre in Goodman's Fields when Garrick first appeared as one of his company.

Weever, in his "Funeral Monuments," mentions here the tombs of William Clavet, who died in 1496; Christopher Caril, Norry king-at-arms (1510); Richard Parker, "servant in the butlery to Henry VIII.," and his wife Margaret, "servant to the Lady Mary's Grace." There are also monuments to the Clitherows and Spencers.

Maurice de Berkeley was a great benefactor to this parish, and the arms of Berkeley are preserved in stone on the walls of the church. Brentford, in fact, is well endowed with charities, schools, &c.

St. Paul's Church, in Old Brentford, was built in

At the entrance to the town from Ealing is a tall chimney, erected for the Grand Junction Waterworks; its height is nearly 200 feet, and it forms a conspicuous object from whichever side it is seen. There are six engines, by whose united power 12,000,000 gallons of water are propelled daily thence to the main reservoir at Paddington. Both the town and the neighbourhood are supplied from these works. The Grand Junction Canal is here brought into contact with the Thames; it passes the grounds of Osterley Park, and runs through a rich corn district near Hanwell, Norwood, Harlington, West Drayton, Cowley, and Uxbridge, to Harefield, not far from Rickmansworth, where it leaves the county. Its rise of level from Brentford to

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place, probably, that Butler alludes in his "Hudibras," place, with a clock-tower and a roof of high pitch,

Part I., cant. 1, 677 :

"In western clime there is a town, To those that dwell therein well known.

To this town people did repair
On days of market or of fair,

And to crackt fiddle and hoarse tabor
In merriment did trudge and labour.
But now a sport more formidable
Had raked together village rabble:
'Twas an odd way of recreating,

Which learned butchers call bear-baiting."

At all events it is probable that Brentford, to the "west" of London, is meant, especially when we remember the lines in Part II., cant. 3, where the

like those with which we meet in the West of England. Edward I. granted a weekly market and an annual fair on St. Lawrence's Day. After the Reformation, the profits of the market and fair were held under the Crown, but they subsequently passed into private hands. The market-place stood in the Butts, which was also the scene of the elections for Middlesex. The market-day is now on Tuesday, and fairs are held three days in May, and also three in September. The elections for Middlesex were held on Hampstead Heath till the year 1701, when they were transferred hither. They appear generally to have been conducted in a very riotous fashion, one of the most disorderly being that of 1768, when Mr. John Glynn and Sir W. B. Proctor

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