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Baubage's Calculating Machine.
What a satire, by the way, is that machine on
the mere mathematician! A Frankenstein
monster, a thing without brains and without
heart, too stupid to make a blunder; that turns
out formulae like a corn-sheller, and never grows
any wiser or better, though it grind a thousand
bushels of them! O. W. Holmes,
Marriage is a joy for a month, a sorrow for a
life; a breaking of the back, a paying down of
money, and a hearkening to a woman's tongue.
Man's Business In Life.
Men's proper business in this world falls mainly
into three divisions :—
First, To know themselves, and the existing
state of the things they have to do with. Secondly, To be happy in themselves, and in
the existing state of things. Thirdly, To mend themselves and the existing
state of things, as far as either are marred
and mendable. Ruskin. The Power Of Wine.
Some men are like musical-glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.
Lear is the most tremendous effort of Shakespeare as a poet; Hamlet, as a philosopher or meditator; and Othello is the union of the two. There is something gigantic and unformed in the former two; but in - the latter, everything assumes its due place and proportion, and the whole mature powers of his mind are displayed in admirable equilibrium. Coleridge.
It is books that teach us to refine our pleasures when young, and which, having so taught us, enable us to recall them with satisfaction when old. Leigh Hunt.
"A Little Learning." Learning is like mercury, one of the most powerful and excellent things in the world in skilful hands; in unskilful, the most mischievous.
Pope. Two Good Servants.
"I '11 go myself," and "I '11 see to it," are two good servants on a farm. Danish Proverb.
Ignorance of the law excuses no man; not that all men know the law, but becaure 'tis an excuse every man will plead, and no man can tell how to confute him. Selden.
The Human Body.
Our body is a well-set clock, which keeps good time; but if it be too much or indiscreetly tampered with, the 'larum runs out before the hour. Bishop Hall.
There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake, though all the world see them to be in downright nonsense. Swift.
Practical Philosophy. Tooth-drawers are practical philosophers, that go upon a very rational hypothesis, not to cure, but to take away the part affected. Steele. Liberty Conducive Of Moderation.
Till men have been sometime free, they know not how to use their freedom. The natives of wine countries are generally sober. In climates where wine is a rarity intemperance abounds. A newly liberated people may be compared to a Northern army encamped on the Rhine or the Xeres. It is said that, when soldiers in such a situation first find themselves able to indulge without restraint in such a rare and expensive luxury, nothing is to be seen but intoxication. Soon, however, plenty teaches discretion; and after wine has been for a few months their daily fare, they become more temperate than they had ever been in their own country. In the same manner, the final and permanent fruits of liberty are wisdom, moderation, and mercy.
Jest And Earnest.
He that will lose his friend for a jest deserves to die a beggar by the bargain. Such let thy jests be, that they may not grind the credit of thy friend; and make not jests so long till thou becomest one. Thomas Fuller, The Almighty Dollar.
The Romans worshipped their standard; and the Roman standard happened to be an eagle. Our standard is only one-tenth of an eagle— a dollar—but we make all even by adoring it with tenfold devotion. Poe.
Writing And Talking.
Writing or printing is like shooting with a rifle; you may hit your reader's mind, or miss it;— but talking is like playing at a mark with the pipe of an engine; if it is within reach, and you have time enough, you can't help hitting it.
The Generation Of Folly.
Folly, like gunpowder, runs in a train from one generation to another, preserved and conveyed by the perpetual tradition of tattling gossips.
The Barrel Organ.
Spurzheim was lecturing on phrenology. '' What is to be conceived the organ of drunkenness?" said the professor. "The barrel organ," interrupted Bannister.