Woman. To confefs the Truth, I am of
a very amorous Conftitution, and, at this
Inftant, I am, to the best of my Knowledge
and Belief, moft defperately in Love.
Wherefore, I cannot but condemn the
Latin Poet, whom otherwise I admire as
a great and happy Genius, fór his injuri
ous Reflections on old Age, and for brand-
ing a Grey-Headed Lover with that coarfe
and indecent Epithet, which you read at
the Head of my Paper. But, howsoever
unfashionable it might have been among
the Romans for an Old Man to profels B
himself a Lover, it is certain, that, in
our Age, a more juft and elegant Way of
Thinking has prevailed in all polite Nations.

few Days. I often please myself with
with reading M. de la Motraye's ANEC-
DOTES, a Book which has been of great
Use to me in my Political Differtations,
and from which I have transcribed the
A
following Story.

When I was in France, there was fcarce an Old Gentleman in that King. dom without a Mistress, nor a Married Woman, who had not her Compere as

well as her Galant: The first was in
Love with her, and fhe was in Love
with the other. One was for her Con-
venience, the other for her Ufe: For, in
all Parties of Pleafure, the Compere was
at the whole Expence of the Entertain-
ment; and befides was daily presenting
his Miftrefs with Toys and Jewels, ever
ready to pay her Play-Debts, and furnish
Money for all her Occafions. This laud-
able Custom has fome Time fince been
introduced into England, and it is to be
hoped, in a few Years more, it will be
univerfally oblerved by all Perfons of
Figure and Diftinction. For what can E
be more commodious for the Fair Sex?
Or what Sort of Lover can be so desira-
ble as an Old One, who makes no
Terms for himself, but, at firft Sight,
fubfcribes to a Carte Blanche, and religns
his Liberty and Property, his Body and
Spirit, into the Hands of his Mistress? I
think it has been agreed by the Poets and
Philofophers of all Ages, who have studi-
ed the Nature and Manners of Women,
that their predominant Paffion is the
Love of Power. And this can never be
fo effectually attained as by captivating
the Heart of fome Old Monarch, his
Lieutenant, Prime Minister, or Vizir.

As often as this happens, (almost as often as a Sovereign Prince attains to his Grand Climacteric) we may expect to fee a more furprifing Metamorpholis than any of those which Ovid has recorded. Are we not affured, that the wifest Man, and one of the greatest Kings the World ever faw, was fuch a Slave to Beauty, in his old Age, that he deferted his God to pleafe his Miltrefs? And Mark Anthony, when he was an old Soldier, loft all his

age and his Honour, and loft the wild too, because he would not deprive felf of Cleopatra's Company for a

A King of Perfia, in his 63d Year, grew fo dotingly fond of his Concubines, named Roxana, that he obliged himself, by a folemn Oath, never to refuse her any Thing. The Lady made her Advantage of this Monarch's Weaknels, and every Day, by fome new and ex travagant Demand, took Occafion to gratify her Ambition, Avarice, or Re venge. During the Career of her Power, a certain European Merchant, who had fold her fome Jewels, to ingage her In tereft and Protection at Court, made her Ca Prefent of a beautiful little Dog, taught to dance, and play a thoufand antick Tricks. In a fhore Time, Roxana became as fond of her Dog, as the King was of her: Only the lamented, that the little Creature was not indowed with Speech, and could not therefore make a proper Reply to those indearing ExprefDions the ufed, as often as the careffed him. One of her Eunuchs told her, the need not grieve on this Account; for he knew a Philofopher, named Hali, then living in the Suburbs of Ipahan, who had learned his Art from a Grecian Sage, and could teach her Dog to fpeak the Perfian Language as articulately as he fpoke it himself: Hali was immediately fent for, made acquainted with his Bullnefs, and required to attend the next Morning to give the Dog his firft Leffon. 'Twas in vain for the poor Man to remonftrate againit the Poffibility of fuch an Undertaking. He was anfwered, it was the King's Command, and must not be difputed: That if he performed what was injoined him, in the Space of thirty Days, he fhould be amply rewarded: If he failed, he fhould lofe his Head.

F

Hali confidered the King's Command as the Artifice of his Enemies, and as a G Trap lay'd for his Life. He communicated his Diftrefs to his eldeft Son, a Youth of nineteen, who had a ready Wit and excellent Parts, well cultivated and improved by his wife Father's Inftructions. He had befides a most engaging Manner of Addrefs, a great Sweetnefs of Temper, and a beautiful Perfon. Mirza (for that was the Young Man's Name) burst into Tears, when he heard the King's Orders: But, recovering him felt, he told his Father, he had thought of a certain Method to divert the Danger which threatened their Family.

H

For

For this Purpofe, he defired Hali to
prefent him next Morning to the chief
Eunuch, as his Daughter, and a Perfon
well inftructed in her Father's Art, and
who would ingage, at the Hazard of her
own Life, as well as his, to execute the A
King's Injunction, and thereby merit his
Grace and Favour. Hali look'd on his
Sun with Amazement, and perfuading
himself, that he spoke by the Inspiration
of the Prophet, who had taken their
Houfe under his Protection, complyed
with his Request.

B

Accordingly, next Morning, Mirza, difguifed in a Virgin's Habit, was conducted to the Chief Eunuch, and by him Fed into Roxana's Apartment; where he performed his Part fo well, that, before the Month expired, it was reported all over the Seraglio, that the Philofopher's Daughter had taught the little Dog not C only to fpeak, but to speak like a Wife Man, and answer pertinently to every Queftion. The King would needs be af fured of the Truth of this Prodigy. He made a Vifit to his Favorite. She confirmed the Report; and the Dog, being prefented to him, was commanded top give a Proof of his extraordinary Talents, by anfwering refpectfully whatever the King fhould be pleafed to ask him,

E

The Monarch feated himself on a Sofa, and taking the Dog in his Arms gently ftroked his Head, (and he ftroked it, and the ftroked it, and the ftroked it, and he froked it) and then he propofed this Queftion; fay, thou pretty Animal, who am I? After a thort Silence, Roxana intreated the king to tell her, if he was not high. ly delighted with the Anfwer the little Beaft had made him? And whether he could ever have believed the Thing, if he had not heard it? The King protefted, F he had not heard a Word. At which Roxana feemed much concerned, and looking earnestly in the King's Face, demanded again, if his Majefty had not heard the Dog antwer him in the Words following? You are the Son of the Sun, the Lieutenant of the Prophets, and the King of Kings; you are dreaded by your Enemies, adored by your Subjects, and pafG fionately beloved by my Fair Miftrefs.

The King rofe up amazed and confounded: But ftill infifting, he did not hear the Dog fpeak, Roxana lifted up her Hands, and thus addrefs'd herself to Makomet, Thou Mellenger of GOD, protect and defend the King. Increase his Honour,

** I bave tranflated this Parenthesis Word for Word. It feems to have fome allegorical Senle which I do not comprebend. The Gentlemen, who are learned in the Doctrine of Innuendoes way,

419

lengthen his Life, preferve his Underftand ing, and open his Ears? And, O never,→→ never let him feel the Infirmities of old fpeak a little louder, fhe begg'd the Age. Then, the Dog being ordered to King to make a fecond Tryal, which he did with great Success. For he now deftinctly utter every Word, just as Roxana clared, he heard the little Creature dihad before repeated.

This occafioned a univerfal Joy in the Seraglio. Nothing was talked of for fome Days, but the Speaking-Dog. His Answer to the King was written in Letters of Gold, and preferved in the Archives of the Empire. The pretended Daughter of Hali was difmiffed with a noble Reward: And her Father was foon afterwards promoted to one of the best Governments in Perfia.

The Author of this Tale concludes it
with the following Reflection. "Old Age
very feldom proves
Men, efpecially to those who have any
Bieffing to Great
Share in the Government of the World
The Perfian Monarch, who ruled fo many
of the Gods, and the First Man in the
Nations, and efteemed himself a Favorite
Univerfe, was not permitted the Ufe of
his Eyes or his Ears. He was the Dupe
of his Slave, and the Jeft of his whole
and he died without knowing it."
Court: But no One durft tell him fo

Common Sense, Aug. 12. No So..
Ille vetus miles fenfimet fapienter amabit
Multaque tironi non patienda feret.
I was a little too hafty in condemning

Ovid for that Expreffion which
chofe for the Motto of my laft Paper. L
tick, that, inftead of Turpe Senilis, we
have fince been affured, by a learned Cri-
fhould read Dulce Senilis Amor, The Sweet-
eft Thing, or the pleasanteft Sight in the
World, is an Old Man in Love. This
Reading may certainly be juftified by
many fimilar Paflages, which we meet.
with in the fame Author; and efpecially
as it is agreeable to the Advice he gives
the Roman Ladies, in his Third Book
De Arte Amandi, where he recommends
to their Choice an Old Lover preferably
to all others. For fuch a one, fays he,
will love difcreetly and conftantly, will bear
every Thing, and find Fault with nothing.
H I am much pleased, that the Senti-
ments of this great Mafter in the Art of
Love are conformable to my own, and
that I can defend my prefent Subject by
his Inftructions. I have, indeed, very
feldom publifhed any Opinions, but whe
are obvious to the Common Senfe

Mankind; and I have endeavoured to exprefs myself clearly, that I might not be mifunderstood by any of my Readers, who understood Plain English, and Plain Truth. But, notwithstanding all my Care, I have fometimes been difappointed: And I perceive the Moral of my Perfian Tale has been mistaken by mott of the Court-Ladies, for whofe Ufe I chiefly defigned it.

was but a Youth, was noted for his Avarice, The Vice, as it generally does, increafed with his Years. When he was turned of fifty, Old Euctio in Plautus, or the Avare of Maliere, was not a more fordid Character.

By the Influence of fome lucky Planer, about fix Months ago, he fell in Love. Since that, he has wholly altered his Manner of Living. He fpares no Expence to gratify his Paffion: And the fame Man who, fome little Time ago, denied himself Neceflaries, and would not have given a Guinea to a Physician to fave the Life of his only Son, would now, give away his Gold by Handfuls to preferve the Life of a Dog, belonging to his Mistress.

What was it but Love, which infpired Anacreon, at 80, with all his Wit and Vis vacity? And a great Genius among the Moderns tells us, That he had no other, Paffion to keep him in Breath. "What Avarice, Ambition, Quarrels and LawSuits do to others, fays he, Love does more commodioufly to me. It makes me active, vigilant, and fober. It holds up my Chin, ftretches my Nerves, and Ꭰ prevents any four Looks from fgracing my Countenance. It warms me again, at leaft in my Dreams; and diverts a thousand troublefome and melancholy Thoughts, with which Idlenefs and bad Health are apt to load Old Age.

They imagine, I would infinuate, by that Story, that no Old Lover is worth the Acceptance of a fine Woman, unless B he be a Royal Sovereign. This was far from my Thoughts: For where is fuch a one to be found? True, there is one Old Gentleman at Rome, and another at Luneville. But the firft is not to be approached without the Confent of all his Relations; and altho' the other is a very generous and good-natured Prince, and perhaps may like a pretty Woman well, yet he is not quite fo great a Monarch, nor confequently in fo good a Condition to fupport his Miftrefs, as fome of our Indian Governors. For my Part, I would have our British Ladies look no farther than their own Country, and be contented and humble enough to throw out their Lure beneath a Throne. We have Old Lords, and Old Bishops, Old Generals and Old Judges, Old Knights, Com miffioners, and Directors, of feveral Orders, and Denominations; Men, who are poffeffed of more Wealth and Power than they know how to ufe. For this Game it is Ovid (was he now living among us) would direct my fair Country-women to fpread their Nets, and with great Affurance promifes them nice Sport, and good Succefs; which neither the Gravity of the Divine, nor the Cunning of the Politician, nor the Courage of the Soldier, nor the Caution of the Old Citizen, fhould be able to disappoint.

p

1

It was the Saying of a very upright and learned Judge, that there is no Wif dom below the Girdle; and he proved the Truth of it by marrying his Cook-Maid. And, furely, it is impoffible for a wife Old Man to give his Miftrefs a greater Proof of his Affections than by changing G the whole Courfe of his Life and Ations, and fuddenly becoming a Fool for her Sake.

However this Maxim is not to be received without Exceptions. For I have known where Love, in extreme Old Age, has produced very different Efeets, by improving the Understanding, H frening the Temper, and changing ces into Virtues.

have a near Relation, who, when he

Plato, that Prince of Philofophers, argues very rationally, and, perhaps, from his own Experience, that Old Age will not exempt a Man from the Paffion of Love, or prevent thofe Emotions which we all feel at the Sight of a fair Object: And therefore he has ordained, among his Laws, that whoever had performed any fignal Exploit in War, fhould have the Right of demanding a Kifs, or even a greater Favour, from any of his Country-women, notwithstanding their Quality, or his own Age and the Defor mity of his Perfon.

I could heartily wish to fee this Law established here, and extended to all Perfons, in Ecclefiaftical and Civil, as well as Military Employments, whether they are Peers or other Senators; provided, they are zealously attnched to the prefent Administration, and are grown oid in the Service of their Country. As fuch a wife Inftitution would render it fafe and honourable for an old Man to fall in Love, fo it would induce many grave Divines and Philofophers to claim the Benefit of this new Law, who now figh in fecret, to prevent the Ridicule to which a public Declaration might expose

them.

Weekly ESSAYS in AUGUST, 1738.

B

421 the Form or Manner of toying in Publick, of winking, fhrugging, fqucezing the Hand, treading on the Toe, &c. tha Gentlemen of the Band fhall be deterand no other amorous Signs or Tokens mined by the Example of their Captain ; fhall be allowed, or deemed fafhionable, but fuch as are practifed by him.

be better digefted, I may, perhaps, fug When, hereafter, my Scheme fhall geft fome farther Regulations for the Benefit of this Society, of which I hope fteem myfelf, if I may live to fee a Deto be a Member. How happy fhall I ecrepit Old Briton reverenced and refpected, not on Account of his Birth, or Quality, not for his Wifdom, or Riches, not because he is in great Office, or in greatFavour,but becaufeHE IS INLOVE:

them. Of these Veterans I would have a Society formed, and incorporated by Letters-Patents, by the Style and Title of The Band of Old Lovers. fhould be diftinguished from other Pers They fons of the fame Quality by their Tunics, A or Robes of Ceremony, made of Flamecoloured Satin, and embroider'd with flying Cupids, Hearts and Darts; as the Robes of Diftinction among the Chinese Mandarins are embroidered with flying Dragons Provided always, that no B. p, Dignitary, or other Ecclefiaftical Perfon, fhall be obliged to wear his Tunic in the Pulpit, unlefs he be appointed to preach before.This Band, or Society fhould, be governed by a Prefi dent, or Captain, who must be a Perfon of great Figure and Merit, but very a morous, and as ready to take Fire as a Piece of rotten old Wood. He should c have a tour Heart and invincible Courage, and yet he should cry, like a Baby, if his Miftrefs but prick'd her LittleFinger. He fhould have a Stern Counte nance, and a Majestic Deportment; but, at the Word of Command, he should not fcruple to play at Hot-Cockles, or ride round St James's Park on a Hobby-fomething against the Royal Family at Horse. He fhould be a Man of great Wealth, that he might be able to diverfify his Shape, and once a Day fall into his Danae's Lap in a Shower or Gold: For, in this Form, he will reflect a Luftre on his Brethren, and be more agreeable to his Mistress, if she be a Woman of Tafte, & than the Youth and Beauty of Adonis, or the Nerves of Hercules, empty Pockets.

D

It should be provided, by the Charter of Incorporation, that no Man be admitted into the Band before the 60th Year of his Age, referving nevertheless a Power to the Crown, to grant a Difpenfation. under the Broad-Scal, on extraordinary F Emergencies. For fince it is found by Experience, that fome Men are older at so, than others at 60 or 70, it is not reafonable they fhould be excluded merely for Want of Years: And therefore, if they are otherwife duly qualified, a Writ of Eligibility fhould go out in their Favour.

It thould be farther directed, that a Meeting of these venerable Inamoratoes be held, once a Month, in the PaintedChamber, or in fome other convenient Room to be appointed for that Purpose, where the Interelts and Concerns of the Society may be debated and fettled, and all Forms or Love-Letters, Billets, Compliments, Speeches and Meffages to be addrefied to their Mittreties, may be a. greed on, as likewife the proper Hours for private Vilits and Affignations. As to

From the Daily Gazetteers Aug. 18. Part of an Anfever to the Craftsmen 5 and 12.

S it is not known whether we shall

A have War or Peace, Mr Danvers, cannot meddle with thefe Topicks tor fear of agreeing with the Miniftry. But to keep the Rancour of the Party ftill alive, there was a Neceffity of Printing

leaft, if not against the Royal Perfon; and thus a very honeft and inoffenfivé Gentleman, came to have his Character tore to Pieces, for having, O! crying Sin! ventured to praife her late Majcity, Character, without asking Leave of thofe and to endeavour to do Justice to her who pretend to be Friends to her.

The Charge against the Author of an Effay towards the Character of her late Majefty is, that he hath made his Picce bear a near Refemblance to another wrote on a like Occafion by Bp Burnet. of great Abilities, an excellent Wife, and But was not her late Majefty a Woman

a no less excellent Queen? Do not all thefe Parts of her Character require to be fubdivided and illuftrated in a Panegy rical Effay? And is it poilible to fubdivide them according to any other Method, Groline was wife; if fhe was religious; if than that ufed by the Bifhop? If Q. Cathe was beneficent; if he was charitable in the highest Degree; if the was truly free from the common Foibles of her Sex; is a Perfon, who attempts her Character, obliged to drop thefe cffential Circumstances, because Q. Mary was endowed with the fame Virtues, and Bp Burnet had told the World 10? What Reasoning, or rather what Raving is this? Or what Penetration does it require to difcover that the Doctor's real Crime is, his having praised tha

H

The Craftsmen, in the Days of the Bishop
were as Angry with his Character of
Mary, as Mr D'anvers can be for his
Heart the Doctor's Effay on Q. Caroline

R. Freeman,

From the Cafriman, Aug. 19.

A Minifter of State answerable. Teen to be at laft in Earncit, and HE Gentlemen in the Administration

no idle Rumours fhall convince me, as much a Malecontent as I am reprefented, that all this Buftle is to end in Preparati ons only, or a Spithead Expedition.

A

⚫ him, and in which he was over-ruledby

his Superiors. I have always difdain'd thefe mean Subterfuges; and with what • Face can I appear again in this House, it fall and ample Satisfaction is not made us, &c. &c. [See the first page of our laft Magazine, whence he quotes almost all the fecond Column, and we must own ourselves furprized to find it fo apply'd by Mr Danvers, who goes on thus It is certainly the Intereft, as well as the Duty, of a Minifter, not to put his Country to any great Expence, without doing Juftice on their Enemies; who, as an honourable B Gentleman very justly obferv'd, have added Infults to their Plunder, and to their Infults Cruelties; the more fentibly telt, as they come from a People, whose Power we always fcorn'd and fubdued, whenand he will be convicted of eternal In ever brought to a Trial, by Sea or Land; tamy by his own Confeffion, that a Minifter is accountable, if full and ample Satisfaction is not procured from the Spaniards.

It is the Intereft of obnoxious Minifiers, as a very honourable Perfon lately obferved in Parliament, to fish in troubled Waters, and engage their Country in a War, which commonly buries all private Animofities, and diverts the Eyes of the Public from Enquiry into their Conduct.But our prefent excellent Minifters have C no Occafion to pick a Quarrel with Spain, meerly upon this Account; for they have not only the intire Confidence of his Ma jefly, and the unanimous Support of our Reprefentatives, but the Juftice of their. Caufe, and the Voice of the whole Nation, on their Side. The general Cry is WAR; D

The Country Gentleman and Farmer, F

E

diftrefs'd with peaceable Taxes, pray for
an honourable and vigorous War, the
Merchant, who is always the greatest
Sufferer. The poor Tradesman, Mecha-
nick, and Husbandman, who can hardly
fupply their Families with the Neceffaries
or Life, feem willing to part with their
laft Mite, in this glorious Cause. Our
Sailors both Officers and private Men, are
alert, and want nothing fo much as an
Opportunity of revenging themfelves on
their cruel Enemies.-What can any Mi-
nifter defire more, in his Favour? A good
Minifter, I am fine, would rejoice in it, F
and even the most odious Minifter, that
govern'd a free People, muit be an Ideot,
if he does not lay hold of fuch an Oppor
tunity to redeem his Character and Credit.
It cannot be fuppofed that any Minifter
of common Senfe, would put the Nation
to the Expence of fuch extraordinary G
Armaments, without intending to make
Ufe of them; and efpecially a Minifler,
who is to fenfible of his Dury, that he
acknowledged himfelf in Parliament to be
aufwerable not only for his own Conduct,
but likewife that of his Royal Mafler, ex-
cept as to the fuccefs of a War: in laft
I do not agree @Lin. It is but a poor
Excute, faid he, for a Minifter, when
y wrong Step is made in Government,
be he is not accountable for the Event

H

From the Darp Eazetteer, Aug. 25.
Answers to the foregoing Craftsman.

Ormerly the Power of making War or Peace was in the Crown, but our Patriots now ftrongly intimate that it is in the People, who, they fay, demand a War, and according to Mr D'anvers the Country Gentlemen and the Farmers, exhausted with Taxes, pray for a War. But this is abfolute nonfenfe, the Country Gentlemen, Tradefmen, &c. know better and are not for a War, which would bring on more and heavier Taxes: Asto the Expence of the Preparations, if a fafe honourable Peace be made without a War will it be worfe? will the Nation dislike

it, becaule not accompany'd with the Expence of Blood?

The Craftsman of the 19th inft. gives us an Extract of the Minifter's Speech, viz. It is a poor Excufe, &c. (See p. 351 Craftsman's Credit, hath more of Liberty Col. 2.) which Speech, taking it on the faw in his Paper. It is the Language of and Good Senfe in it than any thing I ever Reprefentatives of a free People; and Mr a British Statesman, of a Freeman, to the

D'avers feems to confefs as much.

Now let us confider his Conftrnction of this Speech. The Adminiftration is to be accountable to the Nation. For what? For its own Meafures, furely, not for thofe dilated to it by its avowed Enemies. Suppofe it were to be called to an Account for its Conduct hitherto? The Admini ftration thought itfelt obliged to have this