art? where is thy peace, which is so intimately connected with justification? With many tears and in deep anguish I often exclaimed: 'To thee from ruin's brink I cry; But thou knowest best if a state of joy be profitable for me. I will not prescribe to thee, because I perceive I am not called to feel, but to believe. This only I ask, O Saviour, that Satan * This paragraph, in very simple language, describes the nature of faith in Christ; and throws open to our view the manner in which it pleads the promises of mercy. It springs up under the influence of the Holy Spirit, as the light suddenly shining in a dark place, and though it does not instantaneously dispel every gloomy fear, and darkening doubt, yet it casts the anchor of its hope on Christ, the rock of his people, and there fixes its trust. Its language is, "Thou hast died for sinners, and hast promised that "him that cometh unto thee shall in no wise be cast out." I believe this. I come unto thee. I rely on thy death, and thy death alone for salvation. I pray for peace for an assurance of my acceptance-for a good hope through grace, that when the days of my mourning are ended, I may be admitted into thy gracious presence; but I am willing to wait "Thine own well chosen hour," for the bestowment of these undeserved blessings, because I perceive I am not called to feel, but to believe." And to believe in Christ is a duty, for which we stand responsible; but may not be permitted to suggest to me with effect, that all my experience is but a fancy. Lord, help me, for the sake of thy promise, that thou wilt not quench the smoking flax. And if thou wilt not do it, thou surely wilt not permit the enemy to accomplish it. "Jesus, I will not leave thee, till On oaths and promises I trust; Yes, Lord, I am and will be thine. Thou dost not condemn me. I have come to thee with all my wretchedness, and have asked we are not under the same obligation to possess an assurance of it. Faith is essential to salvation; but we can be saved without peace, and without any full assurance of hope. "He that believeth shall be saved;" saith the blessed Redeemer; why then should you attempt to increase the difficulties of salvation by supposing that you cannot be saved unless you are filled with joy and peace in believing? To induce you to form such an opinion is one of the devices of Satan, who labours to perplex and depress those whom he cannot ruin : and happy are they who can detect its fallacy, and pray against its pernicious tendency. They will soon rise out of the darkness of uncertainty and suspicion, into the enjoyment of that peace that passeth all understanding, and partake, in communion with the Saviour, of the first fruits of the celestial inheritance, on this side the waters of separation. and, at length, obtained a declaration that thou hast pardoned me, not from any man or angel, but from thyself on thy throne of grace. On the 26th of September, being very weak, she said, "Oh! that the Lord may take me.away this day." Being reminded of the Saviour's saying, "My hour is not yet come;" she replied "It tarries long;" and added, "All of you praise God, when I close my eyes." In the course of the following night, her weakness greatly increasing, she prayed, "Lord Jesus, my Saviour! I come to thee, because thou invitest sinners to come to thee: only as a great sinner I come; but thou hast redeemed me, and not with corruptible gold and silver, but with thy own holy and precious blood, that I might be thy property. Thou hast atoned for all my sins; now therefore pardon all the sins of my childhood and youth. I confide in thy word: if I am deceived, thy word has deceived me; but it cannot deceive. Be gracious to my troubled parents and sisters; stand by them and strengthen them: and forgive me every thing wherein I have disobeyed or grieved them. Suffer me not to continue in this pain; but as thou hast passed through painful afflictions, bring me out of mine also. In thy blood am I clean. On thee I will live and die. I commit body and soul to thee. Lord Jesus, I live to thee; I die to thee; I am thine living and dead: O save me everlastingly. Amen!” Q About midnight she was in the greatest bodily pain, and her soul seemed to endure a strong conflict. At her request the holy sacrament of the Lord's Supper was administered to her. She was asked if any one should pray in her stead, as she was so weak; but she replied: "No, I will pray." Like Esther, she came deeply humbling herself before the throne. of her gracious King, to touch and kiss his sceptre, and thus addressed herself to him: "O Lord Jesus! I confess to thee all my sins which I have committed from my childhood to the present moment, throughout the twenty years of my life. Pardon them for the sake of thy cross : and pardon what is defective in my repentance. I am a great sinner, but thou art the great Saviour. Thou callest me to come to thee: I now come, just as I am receive me. I am now about to partake of this thy holy sacrament for the last time give me power to come to thee. 'Prostrate I thy grace implore; Free it is, I cannot doubt: Blind or lame, or sick, or poor, None that come thou wilt cast out; Lo! I venture to thy feast; Take me, Saviour to thy breast,'" She then partook of the ordinance. On the 27th of September, she said: "My pain is very great; but the holy communion has so unspeakably refreshed me, that I do not heed it." And a little after she added, "Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life he hath it already; and I also have it. That is a precious word." Being asked if she believed it, she replied, "Yes; now I believe it." Her pain becoming more and more violent, she prayed earnestly for deliverance, and seemed to think her Saviour tarried long. Having fallen into a swoon, on her coming to herself she said: "I thought my friend was come to say, this very day thou shalt be with me in paradise. O Jesus! write these words deep in my heart, and make them sweet to me in my last agony. I have requested this of thee; and thou mayest grant it, because thou hast promised to grant thy children's requests." On the 28th of September, after lying still some time, she cried out: "At last! at last! 'When thy chariot shall arrive, Sent to bring thy servant home, Come, my Saviour, quickly come.' Lord Jesus! my help in trouble, now deliver me. Oh! if I could, I would fall down before thee, and pray, Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me! Oh! how glad shall I be when I close my eyes in death. Often in time of health |