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FREDERICA MARIA ALLENDORF.
MISS ALLENDORF, was born at Cothen, in Germany, in November 1736. Her father was first Chaplain to the Prince of Anhalt-Cothen, and afterwards minister of St. Ulrick's Church, at Halle, and master of the Lutheran Academy there. At a very early period of life she began to seek the Lord God of her Fathers; and at the age of sixteen, devoted herself to the service of the Redeemer, by receiving the memorials of his death. From the day when she made such a decided profession of her faith in him; it was easily discernible that the work of grace deepened in her soul: it manifested itself in the fruits of the Spirit, in a child-like love and veneration of God, her Saviour, and his word, and a lively affection for his servants.
After passing through various scenes of trial, of temptation, and of perplexity, which she fancied eminently conducive to her spiritual improvement, she wrote in her diary on her birth
day in 1755, as follows:-" Another year is added to my life, Merciful God! whose government of me this year has been in much mildness and indulgence, for the sake of thy Son's atoning sacrifice, let me this day find forgiveness of the many sins, which I have committed in the course of my life, and especially during the year past. O Jesus! thou only Mediator between God and man, let thy speaking blood undertake my desperate cause. My past actions, do thou cover: my future life, do thou govern. And, with this my earnest prayer, I also thank thee, O Saviour, for thy great long suffering, for thy dear word, for thy faithfulness, for all the gracious strivings of thy Spirit, for every necessary in temporal and in spiritual things, and for all the assistance thou hast vouchsafed me. Especially my soul praises thee that thou hast made the last year my year of jubilee, in which I have found the ground wherein my anchor may ever remain firm. What ever still offends in me, be pleased to subdue. Thou alone knowest what fear of self-deceit, what doubts of thy grace, what sorrow of heart amidst all thy consolations, are still found in me. On these accounts I beseech thee to stand by me in life, in suffering, and in death. Amen."
On another occasion, when lamenting that she had no assurance of final salvation, she awoke with these words deeply impressed on her mind.
"Be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee." This sprang a new mine of feeling in her breast; and led her, as she passed along her solitary way to Church, into the following train of meditation: "why may I not return home with the forgiveness of my sins, as I come out so heavily burthened on this account. But my heart answered: ah! no; it is impossible; though every thing were possible, this is not. Glory be to God! my Saviour's thoughts were not as my thoughts. I had scarce entered the church, and sat down unobserved, when these words, which I heard the minister make use of in a most affectionate prayer, came with great power to my soul: O Jesus! look this day on all weary souls, who can only breathe to thee the humble petition, God, be merciful to me a sinner! Send to all who thus mourn, the great and precious gift of assurance that all their sins are forgiven. Lord Jesus, they need it in affliction, in death and at judgment.""
In the early part of the service, the minister explained that passage: "God has exalted Jesus with his right hand, to give unto Israel repentance and remission of sins;" and he thence shewed, that Jesus is the procurer and the dispenser of the blessings of salvation. He then made use of the following words: "Hear, O soul! thy tears, the voice of thy mourning, thy faith pressing towards Jesus, already touch
his heart: he must have compassion. Sittest thou in whatever corner thou may; whatever distress of soul thou mayest be in, and though no man know of it; art thou anxiously looking for consolation, and wilt not be satisfied with any merely human comfort; desirest thou nothing so much as forgiveness of thy sins; dost thou long to be a child of God; and dost thou find in thyself these tokens, that thou regardest the divine consolations as thy only relief, thine adoption to be a child of God as thy highest honour, and the forgiveness of sins as thy greatest good: then thou hast it: thy sins are forgiven thee, all of them for everI, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions. Jesus also says to thee, "Be of good cheer! entertain a firm confidence, my son, my daughter, that all thy sins are forgiven thee, even thy sins, all, all of them, for ever; the sins of thy education, and the sins of thy habit; original sin, and actual sin; sins of commission, and sins of omission: I, even I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for my own sake."
"The effect which these and similar expressions had on me, I cannot describe. Tears ran down my cheeks, and I was filled with wonder at the riches of God's mercy which he had shewed to me, the chief of sinners. Indeed if I had looked to my own feelings only to be satisfied as
to my being forgiven or not, I might well lose all courage: for I did not feel any extraordinary joy or sensible sweetness, but rather fear, bashfulness, humiliation, and doubt: but because Jesus himself says that my sins are forgiven me, I glorify him by believing these words without feeling. If I am deceived, these words have deceived me; and, at the last day I will, with humble confidence. represent to him that I sincerely desired not to deceive myself, and on that account surrendered myself to him that he might shew me the right way. I felt him now inviting me to come unto him as weary and heavy-laden. I came to him, and he bade me be of good cheer, for he had cast all my sins into the depths of the sea. Now, now at length I believe, though still with trembling, that Jesus, the Saviour of sinners, is also my Saviour. This evening, while I was singing an hymn, I threw myself at the feet of the Saviour in earnest prayer and supplication. Here I fell into a sharp conflict. My scarcely-kindled, infant faith, was assailed by all the power of unbelief; and the struggle continued the whole of that night and the following day. first time, I learned what it is to
Now, for the fight the fight
of faith. It was oft suggested to me, can this be assurance, when thou wast never before so full of doubts as thou art now? Canst thou have justification, a state in which God absolves from all sin; and yet be burdened and distressed as thou