Imágenes de página
PDF
ePub

An ACCOUNT of fome Choice Experiences of ELIZABETH GILL, who departed this Life May 30, 1738, having entered the Thirteenth Year of her Age.

ELIZ

LIZABETH GILL, daughter of JOHN and ELIZABETH GILL, was born March 14, 1725-6. She appeared from her infancy to be a child of a fweet difpofition; of great folidity and thoughtfulness; of a quick understanding, and retentive memory. She was much referved, and greatly delighted in retirement and folitude; was not addicted to play as children ufually are, and if at any time the amused herself with the innocent diverfions of her age, it was not in company with the rude and vain, but with the more fober and civilized fort of children.

As fhe grew up, fhe took much delight in reading good books; fuch as, BUNYAN'S Pilgrims Progress, JANEWAY'S Token for Children, and others of the like kind; and would obferve the difference there was between fome children and others; how, that fome as foon as they began to fpeak, and before they could fpeak plain, learned bad words, and took the name of God in vain ; when others were religiously inclined, and thoughtful about a future state; of which number the earnestly defired to be. She took great notice in hearing the word, and would afterwards repeat many things to her mother. She was a diligent obferver of what paffed in chriftian conversation; and among other things remarked, that the conversion of the people of God was fometimes occafioned by dreams, which put them on close thinking about the welfare of their immortal fouls. This made her greatly defire, that the like might be the means of her conversion: Accordingly, fome time after fhe dreamed, and in her dream had a view both of heaven and hell; the fmoke of the latter came out in a most dreadful manner, and greatly terrified her; when she spied, as she thought, her schoolmistress, a gracious good woman, in heaven, having fome reviving drops in her bofom; thither fhe wanted to get, and at length did get to her; where the thought herself in a most glorious place, and happy condition. Some time after the dreamed again, that a man on horfeback appeared to her in a most terrible manner, threatening to kill her; at which the thought fhe was not at all daunted, but quietly and chearfully fubmitted to the stroke of death; when, on a fudden, she found herself in a moft delightful place, where were abundance

of

of people walking to and fro; but fhe obferved that they took no notice of one another, nor faid any thing to each other. When she awaked, the wished herfelf again in that pleasant place. This was about two years ago. Now, though she had had many thoughts before about a future ftate, after this fhe began to think more closely of it. This put her upon feeking and praying to God, that he would, as she expressed herself, give her grace; to which she was encouraged by those words, Afk, and it shall be given you; feek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.

It pleased God now to fhow her her vileness, finfulness, and unworthiness, the wickedness of her heart and nature; for notwithstanding all her folidity and fobriety, which seemed to be as it were natural to her, fhe thought herself one of the wickedeft creatures upon earth. When he heard that her schoolmistress beforementioned fhould fay of her, "Surely that child was fanctified from the "womb;" he thought within herself, "Am I, Oh! fhe does not know how "bad I am; what a wicked heart I have."

A remarkable inftance of her sense of fin, and the tenderness of her confcience, as well as of God's fealing his pardoning grace to her foul, is what follows; at a certain time her brother standing in her way, fhe bid him remove; instead of doing which, he smiled at her, and gave her no answer; upon that she says to him, "The boy ftands like a fool." But, O! What work did that word fool make in her poor confcience: She had no rest night nor day, for fome time after; until it pleafed God to apply to her, whilst she was crying alone by herself, thofe words, I will pardon thine iniquity, and will remember thy fins no more; which calmed her conscience, and quieted her mind.

Her defires after Chrift, and an intereft in him, grew very strong; the found in her foul a very great affection for him; fhe would fometimes fay within herself, "I love him; methinks, I could hug him in my arms." She thought it was a hard thing to come to Chrift. But fhe fometimes hoped fhe had an intereft in him, though the durft not fay fhe had, for fears attended her. But on her death-bed, difcourfing with her father about divine things, the dropped thofe appropriating words, Chrift died for me; which being obferved by him, he faid to her, "My dear, can you fay, Chrift died for you?" Yes, faid fhe, Christ died for me." Nay, one time fhe faid, the thought she even faw Chrift; when those words were made of wonderful ufe to her, for yet a little while, and be that shall come, will come, and will not tarry.

She had many fweet words of fcripture brought home to her foul, which yielded her much fpiritual refreshment. Among the reft, that portion of fcripture, I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right band of my righteousness, was made very useful to her in a time of great diftrefs

Ifaiah xli. 10.

a Matt. vii. 7.

Jer. xxxi. 34.

• Heb. x. 37.

diftrefs; for being in great indifpofition of body, and knowing what was coming upon her, and what she must go through, was much difcouraged; but those words being fet home upon her heart, he was much encouraged, chearfully went through what she so much feared, and felt but little pain,

Sometimes fhe would be afraid, that the paffages of fcriptures which came to her mind did not come in a right way, and from the Spirit of God; but were what she had heard or read, and fo thought of them again. She would listen with great attention and pleasure to the people of God, when difcourfing about their experience of the grace of God; and would oftentimes obferve to herself, that her cafe and theirs was alike, and that the felt and experienced the fame things as they did; which gave her great fatisfaction.

She had a great defire after, and a wonderful esteem of the grace of humility, both in things temporal and spiritual. She admired it in others, and wished for it in herself. She defired not to have a proud look, or carriage, or to behave herfelf proudly, in any respect. She thought within herself, that should she live to be a woman, and God fhould blefs her with any thing of this world, she should chufe to go neat and clean, but would not spend her money in fine cloaths; but what she could fpare would give to good people that were poor. And as to things fpiritual, fhe was always fearful, lest any pride or vanity should appear in her: Hence she was shy of speaking of what God had done for her, left it fhould feem, or be thought to arife from pride, and fo be a matter of boafting. Hence the ftudiously affected to retire into corners, to read good books, and to defire of God to give her his grace. Frequently her bed, and time of fleep and reft, were the place and time of her serious and deepest meditafor then, to use her own words, fhe could privately Speak to herself. And God did clothe her with humility, and gave her the ornament of a meek and quiet fpirit, which is in his fight of great price: And to the laft she entertained a mean and low opinion of herself. When it was told her, that fuch an one had prayed for her, and fuch an one had prayed for her, fhe would fay, "What, think of me! What, pray for me! Such an unworthy creature as "I am! "

tions;

She expreffed a very great veneration and respect for the hearing of the word, and other ordinances of the gospel. When at any time under hearing the word, The found her heart wandering after, and her thoughts diverted to other things, as fhe fometimes did, whereby fhe loft much of what was spoken, it was a grief and trouble to her. And fince her illness, how has fhe longed to enjoy opportunities of hearing the gofpel preached, which she hoped to do with more atten tion and profit. Her father repeating in the family one Lord's day evening the heads of a fermon he had preached that day on Prov. viii. 34. Blessed is the man that beareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my door, it was

made

wwww

made of much ufe to her. Two things the particularly obferved; the one was, the neceffity and usefulness of hearing the word, in order to the knowledge of Chrift, and faith in him, which was proved from Rom. x. 14. How shall they believe in him, of whom they have not heard? And the other was, the encouragement given to poor fouls to wait upon the miniftry of the word, taken from the inftance of the poor man's waiting at the pool of Bethesda, who had an infirmity thirty-eight years, and at laft had a cure.

At a certain time fhe and her brother having feen the ordinance of baptifm administered by their father, they talked together about it; her brother faid, he should not care to be baptized; he fhould be afraid. But, thought the, within herself, if things were but right with me; if I had but a true knowledge of things I fhould not be afraid, I fhould gladly be baptized. And fometimes she would think with herself, what a delightful thing it would be, fhould the go to the Lord's fupper, and partake of it, with the faints and people of God. When the related this to her father on her death-bed, he being fomewhat fearful, left she should then labour under any difcouragements, because she had not been baptized, nor had partook of the Lord's fupper, told her, that though these are ordinances of Chrift, and ought to be complied with, and fubmitted to by all that believe in Christ, who are proper fubjects of them, and are fatisfied of their right to them, as they have health and opportunity, yet falvation does not depend upon them; perfons may be faved without them, through the grace of Chrift, who have not an opportunity of fubmitting to them; to which fhe affented, and feemed very well fatisfied.

She was greatly affected with the goodness, grace, and mercy of God, in taking fuch notice of, and giving his Son for such a finful, unworthy creature, as the thought herself to be. She expreffed much thankfulness for temporal mercies, and took great notice of the common mercies of life. When she rofe in a morning the would think with herself, what a mercy it was, that he had been refreshed with reft, and preferved in the night feafon from fire and other dangers.

Her afflictions, pains and agonies, which were many and great, were borne by her, in her illness, with much patience; though she would fometimes complain, fhe had not, and was fearful she should not have patience enough. Sometimes fhe would think of the holy martyrs, and of their fufferings: "O! fays "she, What did they fuffer! How were they burnt for Christ? With what patience did they endure? O! that I had but patience to bear what God is "pleased to lay upon me.'

Death was no king of terrors to her; fhe did not feem to have the least fear of it, nor in any respect, or on any account to be intimidated by it. She often

expreffed

expreffed her willingness to die, and her readiness to fubmit to the will of God; and would obferve, that God sometimes makes perfons willing to die before they do, which was her cafe; nor could fhe fee, fhe faid, any thing in this world that was desirable, for which she might wish to live. And if at any time she fignified any defire of living, fhe added, it was only for her mother's fake, who she knew would be greatly troubled at her death. Yea, the longed to be gone, and would often pour out her foul, in private ejaculations, to her dear Lord, with whom the defired to be. Her fifter once obferving her lips to move, as they often would when no voice was heard, faid to her, "My dear, "did you fay any thing? "No, fays fhe, I was not fpeaking to you, nor "to any body elfe; I was speaking to my dear Lord." In this frame the continued to the laft, as long as he was fenfible, and on Tuesday, May 30th, fweetly fell asleep in Jefus, aged twelve years, two months, and fixteen days. The dream fhe had of the man on horfe back, was a lively emblem of her death, and the manner of it. Death feems to be reprefented by him, at whofe awful itroke fhe was not in the leaft difmayed, but quietly fubmitted to it; and no doubt finds herself in that delightful place the thought herself to be in then, where God has given her places to walk among those that stand by *.

Thefe things, with many others which cannot be perfectly recollected, were related by her, on her death-bed, to her father and mother, with whom only fhe had freedom of fpeech about fpiritual things.

One thing is very remarkable, that while fhe was difcourfing about these matters, as fhe fometimes would an hour, or an hour and a half together, he was quite another person; her fpirits would revive; a briskness appeared in her countenance; the feemed to have no pain; nor was the leaft groan or complaint heard from her all the while; nor any appearance of even weariness throughout the whole interval; and would for fome time after continue better, and more chearful, though before her agonies were very great: and fhe would alio obferve, that when he had pleasant thoughts, as he called them, the felt no pain.

• Zech, iii 7.

SERMON

« AnteriorContinuar »