[ledge, Aut. It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse; In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet, Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowWith viewing of the town; there shall you have me. Seb. Why I your purse? Ant. Haply, your eye shall light upon some toy You have desire to purchase; and your store, I think, is not for idle markets, sir. Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for An hour. Ant. To the Elephant.Seb. I do remember. SCENE IV.-Olivia's Garden. Enter OLIVIA and MARIA. Mal. If not, let me see thee a servant still. Oli. Why, this is very midsummer madness. Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him back he attends your ladyship's pleasure. Oli. I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.] Good [Exeunt. Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my Oli. I have sent after him. He says he'll come; How shall I feast him what bestow on him? For youth is bought more oft, than begg'd or bor- Where is Malvolio?-he is sad, and civil, Mar. Oli. Go call him hither.-I'm as mad as he, How now, Malvolio? Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho. Oli. Smil'st thou ? [Smiles fantastically. I sent for thee upon a sad occasion. Mal. Sad, lady! I could be sad: This does make some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; But what of that, if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is: Please one, and please all. Oli. Why, how dost thou man? what is the matter with thee? Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs: It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed. I think, we do know the sweet Roman hand. Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? Mal. To bed? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come to thee. Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so oft? Mar. How do you, Malvolio? Mal. At your request? Yes; Nightingales answer daws. Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldress before my lady? Mal. Be not afraid of greatness :-'twas well writ. cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. [Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA. Mal. Oh, ho do you come near me now? no worse man than sir Toby to look to nie? This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. Cast thy humble slough, says she;-be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants,-let thy tongue tang with arguments of state, put thyself into the trick of singularity ;and consequently, sets down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And, when she went away now, Let this fellow be looked to: Fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together; that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance, What can be said! Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Re-enter MARIA, with Sir TOBY BELCH and FABIAN. Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him. Fab. Here he is, here he is :-How is 't with you, sir? how is 't with you, man? Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my private; go off. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him. Mal. Ah, ah! does she so? Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is 't with you? What, man! defy the devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind. Mal. Do you know what you say? Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched? Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman. Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. Mal. How now, mistress? Sir To. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: Do you not see, you move him? let me alone with him. Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou, chuck? Mal. Sir ! Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What man 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: Hang him, foul collier! Mar Get him to say his prayers; good sir Toby, get him to pray. Mal. My prayers, minx! between his lord and my niece confirms no therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth, he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gent.ema", most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright thein both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. Enter OLIVIA and VIOLA. Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of god-│(as, I know his youth will aptly receive it,) into a iness. Mal. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shalow things I am not of your element; you shall [Exit. know more hereafter Sir To. Is 't possible? Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take air, and taint. Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed. Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a de. room, and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he is mad; we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him at which time, we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Fab. More matter for a May morning. : Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in 't. Fab. Is't so sawcy? Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: 2 but read. Sir To. Give me. [reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou | art, thou art but a scurvy fellow. Fab. Good, and valiant. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will shew thee no reason for 't. Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and my! sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy trout, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,————— Fab. Good. Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. Fab. Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: Good. Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy, ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give 't him. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for 't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the orner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon is ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, wear horrible; for it comes to pass that a ter rible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Exit. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. [Exeunt Sir TOBY, FABIAN, and MARIA. Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone, And laid my honour too unchary out : There's something in me, that reproves my fault; Bu such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks roof. [bears, Vio. With the same haar that your passion Go on my master's griets. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny ; That honour, sav'd, may upon asking give? [master. Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that Which I have given to you? I will acquit veu. Vio. Re-enter Sir TOBY BELCH and FABIAN. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to 't; of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but the intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl; souls and bodies hath he divorced thrend his icensement at this .noment is so implacable, that satisfaction ca.. none but by pangs of death and sepulchre hob, nob, is his word; give 't, or take 't.' Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valsar: belike, "unis is a man of that quirk Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for med : dle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose. Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir TOBY. Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against you, even to a moral arbitrement; but nothing of the cir cumstance more. Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for 't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt. Re-enter Sir TOBY, with Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; 1 have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in, with such a mortal motion, that it is inevi、g; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on: They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox on 't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified : Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, gray Capilet. Sir To. I'll make the motion: Stand here, make a good show on 't; this shall end without the perdition of souls: Marry I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. [Aside. I have his horse [to FAB.] to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for his oath's sake: marry, he hath setter bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking off: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. [Aside. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it; but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on: to't. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath. [Draws. Enter ANTONIO. Vio. I do assure you 'tis against my will. [Draws. Ant. Put up your sword;-If this young gentleHave done offence, I take the fault on me; [man If you offend him, I for him defy you. [Drawing, | Sir To. You, sir? why what are you? Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you. [Druus Enter two Ocers. Fab. O good sir Toby, hold: here come the officers. Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [TO ANTONIO. Vio Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. [To Sir ANDREW Sir And. Marry, all I, sir; and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He wil bear vou easily, and reins well. This is the man; do thy office. 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of count Orsino. You do mistake me, sir; Ant. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.— Take him away; he knows, I know him well. Ant. I must obey.-This comes with seeking you. But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. What will you do? Now my necessity Makes me to ask you for my purse: It grieves me Much more for what I cannot do for you, Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz'd; But be of comfort. 2 Off: Come, sir, away. An. I must intreat of you some of that money. For the fair kindness you have shew'd me here, I know of none; Nor know I you by voice, or any feature : I hate ingratitude more in a man, Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, any taint of vice, whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood. Or Ant. O heavens themselves! 2 Off. Come, si pray you go. [see here Ant. Le me speak a little. This youth that you I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love,And to his image, which methought did promise Most venerable worth, did I devotion. 1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away. Ant. But, O, how vile an idol proves this god! Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.In nature there's no blemish, but the mind; None can be call'd deform'd, but the unkind: Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous-evil Are empty trunks, o'erflourished by the devil. 1 Off. The man grows mad; away with him. Come, come, sir. Ant. Lead ine on. [Exeunt Officers with ANTONIO. Vio. Methinks, his words do from such passion fy, That he believes himself; so do not I. Prove true, imagination, O, prove true, That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you! Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian we'll whisper o'er a couple or two of most sage saws. . He named Sebastian; I my brother know iving in my glass; even such, and so, our was my brother; and he went In this fashion, colour, ornament, im I imitate: O, if it prove, ests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love. [Exit. To A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a d than a hare his dishonesty appears in leaving iend here in necessity, and denying him; and cowardship, ask Fabian. . A coward, a most devout coward, religious And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy be clear of thee. Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. [Draws. Enter OLIVIA. Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee, hold. Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, [Exeunt Sir ToBY, Sir ANDREW, and FABIAN. He started one poor heart of mine in thee. Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Oli. O, say so, and so be! SCENE II-A Room in Olivia's House. Enter MARIA and Clown. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know or I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this me speak with her; nor your name is not beard, make him believe thou art sir Topas the cuCesario; nor this is not my nose neither.-rate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the while. g, that is so, is so. I pr ́ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else : now'st not me. Vent my folly! he has heard that word of By my troth, thou hast an open hand : er Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY, and FABIAN. e. This will I tell my lady straight: I would some of your coats for two-pence. [Eait Clown. . Come on, sir; hold. [Holding SEBASTIAN. ed. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way with him; I'll have an action of battery im, if there be any law in Illyria: though him first, yet it's no matter for that. et go thy hand. -. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, g soldier, put up your iron: you are well [Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well: nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a carefui man, and a great scholar. The competitors enter. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson: For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged. good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fye, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy Say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stories towards the south north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this nouse is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mul. Sir Topas, sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir ToBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Mal. Fool. [Singing. Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for 't. Clo. Master Malvolio! Mal. Ay, good fool. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? Mal. Believe me, I am not; tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'ythee, be gone. Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't: And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then? I could not find him at the Elephant: Yet there he was; and there I found this credit, That he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service: For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to mistrust mine eyes, And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me To any other trust, but that I am mad, Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, She could not sway her house, command her followers Take, and give back affairs, and their despatch, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't, That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. Enter OLIVIA and a Priest. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you mean Now go with me, and with this holy man, [well, Into the chantry by: there, before him, And underneath that consecrated roof, Plight me the full assurance of your faith; That my most jealous and too doubtful soul May live at peace: He shall conceal it, Whiles you are willing it shall come to note: What time we will our celebration keep According to my birth.-What do you say? Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with you, And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. Oli. Then lead the way, good father;-And neavens so shine, That they may fairly note this act of mine! [Exeunt |