I. A WAR MEETING. OUR complaint just now is war meetin's. They've bin havin' 'em bad in varis parts of our cheerful Republic, and nat'rally we caught 'em here in Baldinsville. They broke out all over us. They're better attended than the Eclipse was. I remember how people poured into our town last Spring to see the Eclipse. They labored into a impression that they couldn't see it to home, and so they cum up to our place. I cleared a very handsome amount of money by exhibitin' the Eclipse to 'em, in an open-top tent. But the crowds is bigger now. Posey County is aroused. I may say, indeed, that the pra-hay-ories of Injianny is on fire. Our big meetin' came off the other night, and our old friend of the Bugle was elected Cheerman. The Bugle-Horn of Liberty is one of Baldinsville's most eminentest institootions. The advertisements are well written, and the deaths and marriages are conducted with signal ability. The editor, Mr. SLIN H This used up the Eagle KERS, is a polish'd, skarcastic writer. Folks in these parts will not soon forgit how he used up the Eagle of Freedom, a family journal published at Snootville near here. The controversy was about a plank road. "The road may be, as our contemporary says, a humbug; but our aunt isn't bald-heded, and we haven't got a one-eyed sister Sal! Wonder if the Editor of the Eagle of Freedom sees it?" of Freedom feller, because his aunt's head does present a skinn'd appearance, and his sister SARAH is very much one-eyed. For a genteel home thrust, Mr. SLINKERS has few ekals. He is a man of great pluck likewise. He has a fierce nostril, and I bl'eve upon my soul, that if it wasn't absolootly necessary for him to remain here and announce in his paper, from week to week, that "our Gov'ment is about to take vig'rous measures to put down the rebellion"-I b'lieve, upon my soul, this illustris man would enlist as a Brigadier Gin'ral, and git his Bounty. I was fixin' myself up to attend the great war meetin', when my daughter entered with a young man who was evijently from the city, and who wore long hair, and had a wild expression into his eye. In one hand he carried a portfolio, and his other paw claspt a bunch of small brushes. My daughter introduced him as Mr. SWEIBIER, the distinguished landscape painter from Philadelphy. "He is a artist, papa. Here is one of his masterpieces a young mother gazin' admirin'ly upon her first-born," and my daughter showed me a really pretty picter, done in ile. "Is it not beautiful, papa ? He throws so much soul into his work." "Does he? does he?" said I-"well, I reckon I'd better hire him to whitewash our fence. It needs it. What will you charge, sir," I continued, "to throw some soul into my fence?" My daughter went out of the room in very short meeter, takin' the artist with her, and, from the emphatical manner in which the door slam'd, I concluded she was summut disgusted at my remarks. She closed the door, I may say, in italics. I went into the closet and larfed all alone by myself for over half an hour. I larfed so vi'lently that the preserve jars rattled like a cavalry officer's sword and things, which it aroused my BETSY, who came and opened the door pretty suddent. She seized me by the few lonely hairs that still linger sadly upon my bare-footed hed, and dragged me out of the closet, incidently obsarving that she didn't exactly see why she should be compelled, at her advanced stage of life, to open a assylum for sooperanooated idiots. My wife is one of the best wimin on this continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb, with mint sauce. No, not always. |