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Vain is each voice where tones could once command; [But know a lesson you may yet be taught,

E'en factions cease to charm a factious land;
Yet jarring sects convulse a sister isle,

And light with maddening hands the mutual pile.

'Tis done, 'tis past, since Pallas warns in vain,
The furies seize her abdicated reign:
Wide o'er the realm they wave their kindling brands,
And wring her vitals with their fiery hands.
But one convulsive struggle still remains,
And Gaul shall weep ere Albion wears her chains.
The banner'd pomp of war, the glittering files,
O'er whose gay trappings stern Bellona smiles;
The brazen trump, the spirit-stirring drum,
That bid the foe defiance ere they come;
The hero bounding at his country's call,
The glorious death that decorates his fall,
Swell the young heart with visionary charms,
And bids it antedate the joys of arms.

With death alone are laurels cheaply bought:
Not in the conflict Havoc seeks delight,

His day of mercy is the day of fight.
But when the field is fought, the battle won,
Though drench'd with gore, his woes are but begun
His deeper deeds as yet ye know by name;
The slaughter'd peasant and the ravish'd dame,
The rifled mansion and the foe-reap'd field,
Ill suit with souls at home, untaught to yield.
Say with what eye along the distant down
Would flying burghers mark the blazing town?
How view the column of ascending flames
Shake his red shadow o'er the startled Thames ?
Nay, frown not, Albion! for the torch was thine
That lit such pyres from Tagus to the Rhine.
Now should they burst on thy devoted coast,
Go, ask thy bosom who deserves them most.
The law of heaven and earth is life for life,

And she who raised, in vain regrets the strife."

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TO THE PUBLISHER.

ing great praises of Mrs. H.'s dancing, (she was famous for birthnight minuets in the latter end of the I AM a country gentleman of a midland county. last century,) I unbooted and went to a ball at the I might have been a parliament-man for a certain countess's, expecting to see a country dance, or at borough, having had the offer of as many votes as most, cotillions, reels, and all the old paces to the General T. at the general election in 1812. But I newest tunes. But, judge of my surprise, on arriving, was all for domestic happiness; as, fifteen years to see poor dear Mrs. Hornem with her arms half ago, on a visit to London, I married a middle-aged round the loins of a huge hussar-looking gentleman maid of honor. We lived happily at Hornem Hall I never set eyes on before; and his, to say truth, till last season, when my wife and I were invited by rather more than half round her waist, turning the Countess of Waltzaway (a distant relation of my round, and round, and round, to a dd see-saw spouse) to pass the winter in town. Thinking no up-and-down sort of tune, that reminded me of the harm, and our girls being come to a marriageable Black joke," only more "affetuoso," till it made (or as they call it, marketable) age, and having be-me quite giddy with wondering they were not so. sides a Chancery suit inveterately entailed upon the By and by they stopp'd a bit, and I thought they family estate, we came up in our old chariot, of which would sit or fall down :-but, no; with Mrs. H. 3 by the by, my wife grew so much ashamed in less than hand on his shoulder, "quam familiariter," (as a week, that I was obliged to buy a second-hand Terrence said, when I was at school,) they walked barouche, of which I might mount the box, Mrs. H.

says, if I could drive, but never see the inside-that

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My Latin is all forgotten, if a man can be said to have forgotten what place being reserved for the Honorable Augustus he never remembered; but I bought my title-page motto of a Catholic priest Tiptoe, her partner-general and opera-knight. Hear- for a three shilling bank token, after much haggling for the even sixpence.

• State of the poll, (last day,) 5.

1 grudged the money to a papist, being all for the memory of Perceval and "No popery," and quite regretting the downfall of the pope, because we can't burn him any more.

about a minute, and then at it again, like two cock-|Hail, nimble nymph! to whom the young hussar, chafers spitted on the same bodkin. I asked what The whisker'd votary of waltz and war, all this meant, when, with a loud laugh, a child no His night devotes, despite of spur and boots; older than our Wilhelmina, (a name I never heard but A sight unmatch'd since Orpheus and his brutes: in the Vicar of Wakefield, though her mother Hail, spirit-stirring Waltz !-beneath whose banners would call her after the Princess of Swappenbach,) A modern hero fought for modish manners; said, "Lord! Mr. Hornem, can't you see they are On Hounslow's heath to rival Wellesley's fame, valtzing!" or waltzing, (I forget which ;) and then Cock'd-fred and miss'd his man-but gain'd his up she got, and her mother and sister, and away they aim;

went, and round-abouted it till supper-time. Now Hail moving muse! to whom the fair one's breast that I know what it is, I like it of all things, and Gives all it can, and bids us take the rest. so does Mrs. H. (though I have broken my shins, Oh! for the flow of Busby, or of Fitz, and four times overturned Mrs. Hornem's maid, in The latter's loyalty, the former's wits, practising the preliminary steps in a morning.) In-To "energize the object I pursue," deed, so much do I like it, that having a turn for And give both Belial and his dance their due! rhyme, tastily displayed in some election ballads, and songs in honor of all the victories, (but till lately I Imperial Waltz! imported from the Rhine, have had little practice in that way,) I sat down, and (Famed for the growth of pedigrees and wine,) with the aid of W. F. Esq. and a few hints from Dr. Long be thine import from all duty free, B. (whose recitations I attend, and am monstrous And hock itself be less esteem'd than thee; fond of Master B.'s manner of delivering his father's In some few qualities alike—for hock late successful "D. L. Address,") I composed the Improves our cellar-thou our living stock. following hymn, wherewithal to make my sentiments The head to hock belongs-thy subtler art known to the public, whom, nevertheless, I heartily despise as well as the critics.

I am, Sir, yours, &c. &c.

HORACE HORNEM.

MUSE of the many-twinkling feet!* whose charms
Are now extended up from legs to arms;
Terpsichore !-too long misdeem'd a maid-
Reproachful term-bestowed but to upbraid-
Henceforth in all the bronze of brightness shine,
The least a vestal of the virgin Nine.

Far be from thee and thine the name of prude;
Mock'd, yet triumphant; sneer'd at, unsubdued ·
Thy legs must move to conquer as they fly,
If but thy coats are reasonably high;
Thy breast-if bare enough-requires no shield;
Dance forth-sans armour thou shalt take the field.
And own-impregnable to most assaults
Thy not too lawfully begotten "Waltz."

• "Glance their many-twinkling feet."-Gray.

To rival Lord W.'s, or his nephew's, as the reader pleases: the one gined a pretty woman, whom he deserved, by fighting for; and the other has been fighting in the Peninsula many a long day, "by Shrewsbury clock," without gaining any thing in that country but the title of "the Great Lord," and "the Lord," which savors of profanation, having been hitherto applied

only to that Being to whom "Te Deums" for carnage are the rankest
lasphemy. It is presumed the general will one day return to his Sabine
farm: here

"To tame the genius of the stubborn plain,
Almost as quickly as he conquer'd Spain !"

The Lord Peterborough conquered continents in a summer we do morewe contrive both to conquer and lose them in a shorter season. If the "great Lord's “Cincinnatian progress in agriculture be no speedier than the proporDonal average of time in Pope's couplet, it will, according to the farmer's provert, be "ploughing with dogs."

Intoxicates alone the heedless heart;
Through the full veins thy gentler poison swims,
And wakes to wantonness the willing limbs.

Oh Germany! how much to thee we owe,
As heaven-born Pitt can testify below,
Ere cursed confederation made thee France's,
And only left us thy d-d debts and dances!
Of subsidies and Hanover bereft,

We bless thee still-for George the Third is left!
Of kings the best-and last, not least in worth,
For graciously begetting George the Fourth.
To Germany, and highnesses serene,
Who owe us millions-don't we owe the queen ?
To Germany, what owe we not besides ?
So oft bestowing Brunswickers and brides;
Who paid for vulgar, with her royal blood,
Drawn from the stem of each Teutonic stud:
Who sent us-so be pardon'd all her faults-
A dozen dukes-some kings-a queen-and Waltz.

But peace to her-her emperor and diet,
Though now transferr'd to Buonaparte's "fiat!"
Back to my theme-O Muse of motion! say,
How first to Albion found thy Waltz her way?

Borne on the breath of Hyperborean gales,
From Hamburg's port, (while Hamburg yet had
mails.)

Ere yet unlucky Fame-compell'd to creep
To snowy Gotter.burgh-was chill'd to sleep;
Or starting from her slumbers, deign'd arise,
Heligoland! to stock thy mart with lies;
While unburnt Moscow yet had news to send,
Nor owed her fiery exit to a friend,

By the by-one of this illustrions person's new titles is forgotten—it is, however, worth remembering-" Salvador del mundo !" credite, posteri! • The patriotic arson of our amiable allies cannot be sufficiently commended If this be the appellation annexed by the inhabitants of the Peninsula to the-nor subscribed for. Among other details omitted in the various despatches name of a man who has not yet saved them-query-are they worth saving, of our eloquent ambassador, he did not state, (being too much occupied with even in this world? for, according to the mildest modifications of any Chris the exploits of Col. C—, in swimming rivers frozen, and galluping over tian creed, those three words make the odds much against them in the next.-roads impassable,) that one entire province perished by famine in the most "Saviour of the world," quotha 1-it were to be wished that he, or any one melancholy manner, as follows:--In General Rostopchin's consummate con else, could save a corner of it-his country. Yet this stupid misnomer, flagration, the consumption of tallow and train oil was so great, that the although it shows the near connexion between superstition and impiety, so market was inadequate to the demand: and thus one hundred and thirtyfar has its use, that it proves there can be little to dread from those Catholica three thousand persons were starved to death, by being reduced to whole (inquisitorial Catholics too) who can confer such an appellation on a Pro- some diet! The lamplighters of London have since subscribed a pint (of oil) 'estant. I suppose next year he will be entitled the "Virgin Mary: "if so, a piece, and the tallow-chandlers have unanimously voted a quantity of des Lord George Gordon himself would have nothing to object to such liberal moulds (four to the pound) to the relief of the surviving Scythir no-the Dastaris of our Lady of Babylon. scarcity will soon, by such es ertions, and a proper attention to the gun

With Waltz compare, or after waltz be borne ?
Ah no! from Morier's pages down to Galt's,
Each tourist pens a paragraph for " Waltz."

She came-Waltz caine-and with her certain sets Can aught from cold Kamscatka to Cape Horn
Of true despatches, and as true gazettes;
Then flamed of Austerlitz the blest despatch,
Which Moniteur nor Morning Post can match:
And-almost crush'd beneath the glorious news-
Ten plays, and forty tales of Kotzebue's;
One envoy's letters, six composers' airs,
And loads from Frankfort and from Leipsic fairs;
Meiner's four volumes upon womankind,
Like Lapland witches to ensure a wind;
Brunck's heaviest tome for ballast, and, to back it,
Of Heyne, such as should not sink the packet.
Fraught with this cargo-and her fairest freight,
Deligthful Waltz, on tiptoe for a mate,
The welcome vessel reach'd the genial strand,
And round her flock'd the daughters of the land.
Not decent David, when, before the ark,
His grand pas-seul excited some remark;
Not love-lorn Quixote, when his Sancho thought
The knight's fandango, friskier than it ought;
Not soft Herodias, when with winning tread
Her nimble feet danced of another's head;
Not Cleopatra on her galley's deck,
Display'd so much of leg, or more of neck,
Than thou, ambrosial Waltz, when first the moon
Beheld thee twirling to a Saxon tune!

Shades of those belles whose reign began of yore,
With George the Third's-and ended long before !-
Though in your daughters' daughters yet you thrive
Burst from your lead, and be yourselves alive!
Back to the ball-room speed your spectred host;
Fool's Paradise is dull to that you lost.

To you, ye husbands of ten years! whose brows
Ache with the annual tributes of a spouse;
To you of nine years less, who only bear
The budding sprouts of those that you shall wear,
With added ornaments around them roll'd
Of native brass, or law-awarded gold;
To you, ye matrons, ever on the watch
To mar a son's, or make a daughter's match:
To you, ye children of whom chance accords-
Always the ladies, and sometimes their lords;
To you, ye single gentlemen, who seek
Torments for life, or pleasures for a week;
As Love or Hymen your endeavors guide.
To gain your own, or snatch another's bride;-
To one and all the lovely stranger came,
And every ball-room echoes with her name.
Endearing Waltz !—to thy more melting tune
Bow Irish jig and ancient rigadoon.
Scotch reels, avaunt! and country-dance, forego
Your future claims to each fantastic toe!
Waltz-Waltz alone-both legs and arms demands,
Liberal of feet, and lavish of her hands;
Hands which may freely range in public sight
Where ne'er before-but-pray "put out the light."
Methinks the glare of yonder chandelier
Shines much too far--or I am much too near :
And true, though strange-Waltz whispers this
remark,

"My slippery steps are safest in the dark!"
But here the muse with due decorum halts,
And lends her longest petticoat to Waltz.

Observant travellers of every time!
Ye quartos publish'd upon every clime!
O say, shall dull Romaika's heavy round,
Fandango's wriggle, or Bolero's bound;
Can Egypt's Almas-tantalizing group-
Columbia's caperers to the warlike whoop-

No treacherous powder bids conjecture quake;
No stiff-starch'd stays make meddling fingers ache
(Transferr'd to those ambiguous things that ape
Goats in their visage, women in their shape ;)
No damsel faints when rather closely press'd,
But more caressing seems when most caress'd;
Superfluous hartshorn, and reviving salts,
Both banish'd by the sovereign cordial “Waltz."

Seductive Waltz !-though on thy native shore
Even Werter's self proclaim'd thee half a whore,
Werter-to decent vice though much inclined,
Yet warm, not wanton; dazzled, but not blind-
Though gentle Genlis, in her strife with Stael,
Would even proscribe thee from a Paris ball;
The fashion hails-from countesses to queens,
And maids and valets waltz behind the scenes.
Wide and more wide thy witching circle spreads,
And turns-if nothing else at least our heads;
With thee even clumsy cits attempt to bounce,
And cockneys practice what they can't pronounce.
Gods! how the glorious theme my strain exalts,
And rhyme finds partner rhyme in praise of "Waltz."
Blest was the time Waltz chose for her debut;
The court, the Regent, like herself were new;†
New face for friends, for foes some new rewards;
New ornaments for black and royal guards;
New laws to hang the rogues that roar'd for bread
New coins (most new ) to follow those that filed
New victories-nor can we prize them less,
Though Jenky wonders at his own success;
New wars, because the old succeed so well,
That most survivors envy those who fell;

⚫ It cannot be complained now, as in the Lady Baussiere's time, of the indications of valor in the field, or elsewhere, may still be questionable. "Sieur de la Croix," that there be "no whiskers; " but how far these ars

Much may be and hath been avouched on both sides. In the olden time philosophers had whiskers, and soldiers note-Scipio himself was shaven Hannibal thought his one eye handsome enough without a beard; but Adrian, the emperor, wore a beard (having warts on his chin, which neither the Empress Sabina nor even the courtiers could abide)-Turenne had whiskers, Marlborough none-Buonaparte is unwhiskered, the Regent whiskered; "argal" greatness of mind and whiskers may or may not go oget er: but certainly the different occurrences, since the growth of the last mentionel, go further in behalf of whiskers than the anathema of Anselm di against long hair in the reign of Henry I.

Formerly red was a favorite color. See Lodowick Barrey's comedy of Ram Alley, 1661, Act 1. Scene 1.

"Taffeta. Now, for a wager-What colored beard comes next by the window?

"Adriano. A black man's, I think.

"Taffeta. I think not so; I think a red, for that is most in fashior " There is "nothing new under the sun;" but red, then a favorits, has now subsided into a favorite's color.

↑ An anachronism-Waltz and the battle of Austerlitz are before said to have opened the ball together: the bard means, (if he means any thing, Waltz was not so much in vogue dll the Regent attained the acme of his pupularity. Waltz, the comet, whiskers, and the new government, illuminated heaven and earth, in all their glory, much about the same time: of these the

mather than the quantity of provision, be totally alleviated. It is said, in re-comet only has disappeared; the other three continue to astonish us still.-urn, that the untouched Ukraine has subscribed sixty thousand beeves for a Printer's Devil. ay's meal to our suffering manufacturers.

Ducking girlswho do for hire what Waltz doth gratis,

Among others a new nine pence-a creditable coin now forthcoming worth a pound, in paper, at the fairest calculation.

New mistresses-no, old-and yet 'tis true,
Though they be old, the thing is something new;
Each new, quite new-(except some ancient tricks,
New white-sticks, gold-sticks, broom-sticks, all
new sticks!

With vests or ribands-deck'd alike in hue,
New troopers strut, new turncoats blush in blue:
So saith the muse-my-,t what say you?
Such was the time when Waltz might best maintain
Her new preferments in this novel reign;
Such was the time, nor ever yet was such;
Hoops are no more, and petticoats not much;
Morals and minuets, virtue and her stays,
And tell-tale powder-all have had their days.
The ball begins-the honors of the house
First duly done by daughter or by spouse,
Some potentate or royal or serene- [mien,
With Kent's gay grace, or sapient Gloucester's
Leads forth the ready dame, whose rising flush
Might once have been mistaken for a blush.
From where the garb just leaves the bosom free,
That spot where hearts were once supposed to be;
Round all the confines of the yielded waist,
The strangest hand may wander undisplaced;
The lady's in return may grasp as much
As princely paunches offer to her touch.

Till some might marvel with the modest Turk,
If "nothing follows all this palming work?"•
True, honest Mirza !-you may trust my rhyme-
Something does follow at a fitter time;
The breast thus publicly resign'd to man,
In private may resist him-if it can.

O ye who loved our grandmothers of yore,
Fitzpatrick, Sheridan, and many more!

And thou, my prince! whose sovereign taste and
will

It is to love the lovely beldames still!
Thou ghost of Queensbury! whose judging sprite
Satan may spare to peep a single night,
Pronounce-if ever in your days of bliss
Asmodeus struck so bright a stroke as this;
To teach the young ideas how to rise,
Flush in the cheek and languish in the eyes,
Rush to the heart and lighten through the frame,
With half-told wish and ill-dissembled flame;
For prurient nature still will storm the breast-
Who, tempted thus, can answer for the rest?

But ye-who never felt a single thought
For what our morals are to be or ought;
Who wisely wish the charms you view to reap,

Pleased round the chalky floor how well they trip, Say-would you make those beauties quite so cheap.

One hand reposing on the royal hip:

The other to the shoulder no less royal
Ascending with affection truly loyal!

Thus front to front the partners move or stand,
The foot may rest, but none withdraw the hand:
And all in turn may follow in their rank,
The Earl of Asterisk-and Lady-Blank;
Sir Such-a-one-with those of fashion's host,

Hot from the hands promiscuously applied,
Round the slight waist, or down the glowing side,
Where were the rapture then to clasp the form
From this lewd grasp and lawless contact warm
At once love's most endearing thought resign,
To press the hand so press'd by none but thine,
To gaze upon that eye which never met
Another's ardent look without regret;

For whose biest surnames-vide "Morning Post;"Approach the lip which all, without restraint,

(Or if for that impartial print too late,

[date,)

Search Doctors' Commons six months from my If such thou lovest-love her then no more,
Come near enough-if not to touch-to taint;
Thus all and each, in movement soft or slow,
The genial contact gently undergo;

"Oh that right should thus overcome might!" Who does not remem

Der the "delicate investigation" in the "Merry Wives of Windsor ? "

Or give like her-caresses to a score;
Her mind with these is gone, and with it go
The little left behind it to bestow.

"Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then Voluptuous Waltz! and dare I thus blaspheme?

make sport at me; then let me be your jest; I deserve it. How now? whither bear you this?

Thy bard forgot thy praises were his theme. "Mrs. Ford. What have you to do whither they bear it 1-you were Terpsichore, forgive!-at every ball

best meddle with buck-washing."

My wife now waltzes-and my daughters shall; My son-(or stop-'tis needless to inquireThese little accidents should ne'er transpire; Some ages hence our genealogic tree Will wear as green a bough for him as me)"We have changed all that," says the Mock Doctor-'tis all gone-Waltzing shall rear, to make our name amends, Asmdoeus knows where. After all, it is of no great importance how women's Grandsons for me-in heirs to all his friends. hearts are disposed of; they have nature's privilege to distribute them as absurdly as possible. But there are also some men with hearts so thoroughly bad, as to remind us of those phenomena often mentioned in natural history; siz, a mass of solid stone-only to be opened by force-and when divided, you alscover a toad in the cer tre, lively, and with the reputation of being ven

The gentle, or ferocious reader, may fill up the blank as he pleases

there are several dissyllabic names at his service, (being already in the Regent's :) it would not be fair to back any peculiar initial against the alphabet, Ra every month will add to the list now entered for the sweepstakes:- a distinguished consonant is said to be the favorite, much against the wishes of the knowing ones.

omous.

literally put, as in the text, ty a Persian to Morier on seeing a waltz in Pea • In Turkey a pertinent, here an impertinent and superfluous questico

-Vide Morier's Transla.

THE AGE OF BRONZE;

ов,

CARMEN SECULARE ET ANNUS HAUD MIRABILIS

"Impar Congressus Achilli,"

I.

THE "good old times "-all times when old are good

Are
the present might be if they would;
gone;
Great things have been, and are, and greater still
Want little of mere mortals but their will;
A wider space, a greener field, is given

To those who play their "tricks before high heaven."
I know not if the angels weep, but men
Have wept enough-for what?-to weep again.

II.

All is exploded—be it good or bad.

Reader! remember when thou wert a lad,
Then Pitt was all; or, if not all, so much,
His very rival almost deem'd him such.
We, we have seen the intellectual race
Of giants stand, like Titans, face to face-
Athos and Ida, with a dashing sea

Of eloquence between, which flow'd all free,
As the deep billows of the Ægean roar
Betwixt the Hellenic and the Phrygian shore;
But where are they-the rivals ?-a few feet
Of sullen earth divide each winding sheet.
How peaceful and how powerful is the grave
Which hushes all! a calm, unstormy wave
Which oversweeps the world. The theme is old
Of Dust to dust;" but half its tale untold:
Time tempers not its terrors-still the worm
Winds its cold folds, the tomb preserves its form,
Varied above, but still alike below;
The urn may shine, the ashes will not glow,
Though Cleopatra's mummy cross the sea
O'er which from empire she lured Antony;
Though Alexander's urn a show be grown,
On shores he wept to conquer, though unknown-
How vain, how worse than vain, at length appear
The madman's wish, the Macedonian's tear!
He wept for worlds to conquer-half the earth
Knows not his name, or but his death and birth,

[And desolation; while his native Greece
Hath all of desolation save its peace.
He "wept for worlds to conquer !" he who ne er
Conceived the globe, he panted not to spare!
With even the busy Northern Isle unknown,
Which holds his urn, and never knew his throne.

III.

But where is he, the modern, mightier far,
Who, born no king, made monarchs draw his car;
The new Sesostris, whose unharness'd kings,
Freed from the bit, believe themselves with wings,
And spurn the dust o'er which they crawl'd of late,
Chain'd to the chariot of the chieftain's state?
Yes! where is he, the champion and the child
Of all that's great or little, wise or wild?
Whose game was empires, and whose stakes were
thrones ?

Whose table earth-whose dice were human bones!
Behold the grand result in yon lone isle,
And, as thy nature urges, weep or smilo
Sigh to behold the eagle's lofty rage
Reduced to nibble at his narrow cage;
Smile to survey the queller of the nations
Now daily squabbling o'er disputed rations;
Weep to perceive him mourning, as he dines,
O'er curtail'd dishes and o'er stinted wines;
O'er petty quarrels upon petty things.
Is this the man who scourged or feasted kings!
Behold the scales in which his fortune hangs,
A surgeon's statement, and an earl's harangues
A bust delay'd, a book refused, can shake
The sleep of him who kept the world awake.
Is this indeed the tamer of the great,
Now slave of all could tease or irritate-
The palty jailer and the prying spy,
The staring stranger with his note-book nigh?
Plunged in a dungeon, he had still been great ;
How low, how little was this middle state,
Between a prison and a palace, where
How few could feel for what he had to bear'

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