Hastings.

No, nothing. Never was in better spirits in all my life. And so you left it with the landlady, who, no doubt, very readily undertook the charge?

Marlow.

Rather too readily. For she not only kept the casket; but, through her great precaution, was going to keep the messenger too. Ha ha ha!

Hastings.

He he he! they're safe, however?

Marlow.

As a guinea in a miser's purse.

Hastings.

(Aside.) So now all hopes of fortune are at end, and we must set off without it. (To him.) Well, Charles, I'll leave you to your meditations on the pretty bar-maid, and, he he! he! may you be as suc~ cessful for yourself as you have been for me. [Exit.

Marlow.

Thank ye, George! I ask no more. Ha! ha! ha!

Enter HARDCASTLE.

Hardcastle.

I no longer know my own house. It's turn'd all topsey-turvey. His servants have got drunk already : I'll bear it no longer, and yet, from my respect for his father, I'll be calm. (To him) Mr. Marlow, your servant. I'm your very humble servant.

Marlow.

[Bowing low.

Sir, your humble servant. (Aside) What's to be

the wonder now?

Hardcastle.

I believe, Sir, you must be sensible, Sir, that no man alive ought to be more welcome than your father's son, Sir. I hope you think so?

Marlow.

I do, from my soul, Sir. I don't want much intreaty. I generally make my father's son welcome wherever he goes.

Hardcastle.

I believe you do, from my soul, Sir. But though I say nothing to your own conduct, that of your servants is unsufferable. Their manner of drinking is setting a very bad example în this house, I assure you.

Marlow.

I protest, my very good Sir, that is no fault of mine. If they don't drink as they ought they are to blame. I ordered them not to spare the cellar, I did, I assure you. (To the side scene.) Here let one of my servants come up. (To him.) My positive directions were, that as I did not drink myself, they should make up for my deficiencies below,

Hardcastle.

Then they had your orders for what they do? I'm satisfied!

You, Jeremy! Come forward, sirrah! What were my orders? Were you not told to drink freely, and call for what you thought fit, for the good of the house?

Hardcastle.

(Aside.) I begin to lose my patience.

Jeremy.

Please your honor, liberty and Fleet-street for ever! Though I'm but a servant, I'm as good as another man. I'll drink for no man before supper. Sir, dammy! Good liquor will sit upon a good supper, but a good supper will not sit upon

my conscience, Sir.

Marlow.

hiccup

upon

You see my old friend, the fellow is as drunk as he can possibly be. I don't know what you'd have more, unless you'd have the poor devil soused in a beerbarrel.

Hardcastle.

Zounds! he'll drive me distracted, if I contain myself any longer. Mr. Marlow. Sir; I have submitted to your insolence for more than four hours, and I see no likelihood of its coming to an end. I'm now resolved to be master here, Sir, and I desire that you and your drunken pack may leave my house directly.

Marlow.

Leave your house!- -Sure you jest, my good friend? What, when I'm doing what I can to please you.

Hardcastle.

I tell, you, Sir, you don't please me; so I desire you'll leave my house.

Murlow.

Sure you cannot be serious? at this time o'night, and such a night. You only mean to banter me?

Hardcastle.

I tell you, Sir, I'm serious! and, now that my passions are rouzed, I say this house is mine, Sir; this house is mine, and I command you to leave it directly.

Marlow.

Ha ha ha! A puddle in a storm. I shan't stir a step, I assure you. (In a serious tone) This your house, fellow! It's my house. This is my house. Mine, while I chuse to stay. What right have you to bid me to leave this house, Sir! I never met with such impudence, curse me, never in my whole life before.

Hardcastle.

To come to my

Nor I confound me if ever I did. house, to call for what he likes, to turn me out of my own chair, to insult the family, to order his servants to get drunk, and then to tell me, "This house is mine, "Sir." By all that's impudent it makes me laugh. Ha! ha! ha! Pray, Sir, (bantering) as you take the house, what think you of taking the rest of the furniture? There's a pair of silver candlesticks, and there's a fire-screen, and here's a pair of brazen nosed bellows, perhaps you may take a fancy to them?

Marlow.

Bring me your bill, Sir; bring me your bill, and let's make no more words about it.

Hardcastle.

There are a set of prints too. What think you of the rakes progress for your own apartment?

Marlow.

Bring me your bill, I say; and I'll leave you and your infernal house directly.

Hardcastle.

Then there's a mahogany table that you may see your own face in.

Marlow.

My bill, I say.

Hardcastle.

I had forgot the great chair, for your own particular slumbers, after a hearty meal.

Marlow.

Zounds! bring me my bill, I say, and let's hear no more on't.

Hardcastle.

Young man, young man, from your father's letter to me, I was taught to expect a well-bred modest man, as a visitor here, but now I find him no better than a coxcomb and a bully; but he will be down here presently, and shall hear more of it.

Exit.

Marlow.

How's this! Sure I have not mistaken the house? Every thing looks like an inn. The servants cry, coming. The attendance is aukward; the bar-maid too to attend us. But she's here, and will farther inform me. Whither so fast, child? A word with you.

Enter Miss HARDCASTLE,

Miss Hardcastle.

Let it be short then.

I'm in a hurry. (Aside.) I

believe he begins to find out his mistake, but it's too soon quite to undeceive him.

Marlow.

Pray, child, answer me one question. What are you, and what may your business in this house be?.

Miss Hardcastle.

A relation of the family, Sir.

Marlow.

What, a poor relation?