of mind, and unwillingness to exert himself in measures of active defence. With the unfailing dexterity peculiar to prosers, he contrived to dribble out his tale to double its usual length, by the exercise of the privilege of unlimited digressions; so that the story, like a horse on the grand pas, seemed to be advancing with rapidity, while, in reality, it scarce was progressive at the rate of a yard in the quarter of an hour. At length, however, he had discussed, in all its various bearings and relations, the history of his friendly landlord, the master-fashioner in Russel-street, including a short sketch of five of his relations, and anecdotes of three of his principal rivals, together with some general observations upon the dress and fashion of the period; and having marched thus far through the environs and outworks of his story, he arrived at the body of the place, for so the Wits' Coffee-house might be termed. He paused on the threshold, however, to explain the nature of his landlord's right occasionally to intrude himself into this well-known temple of the Muses.

"It consisted," said Halcro," in the two principal points, of bearing and forbearing; for my friend Thimblethwaite was a person of wit himself, and never quarrelled with any jest which the wags who frequented that house were flinging about, like squibs and crackers on a rejoicing night; and then, though some of the wits-ay, and I daresay the greater number, might have had some dealings with him in the way of trade, he never was the person to put any man of genius in unpleasant remembrance of such trifles. And though, my dear young Master Mordaunt, you may think this is but ordinary civility, because in this country it happens seldom that there is either much borrowing or lending, and because, praised be Heaven, there are neither bailiffs nor sheriff-officers to take a poor fellow by the neck, and because there are no prisons to put him into when they have done so, yet, let me tell you, that such a lamb-like forbearance as that of my poor, dear, deceased landlord, Thimblethwaite, is truly uncommon within the London bills of mortality. 1 could tell you of such things that have happened even to myself, as well as others, with these cursed London trades

men, as would make your hair stand on end.-But what the devil has put old Magnus into such note? he shouts as if he were trying his voice against a north-west gale of wind."

Loud indeed was the roar of the old Udaller, as, worn out of patience by the schemes of improvement which the factor was now undauntedly pressing upon his consideration, he answered him, (to use an Ossianic phrase,) like a wave upon a rock,

"Trees, Sir Factor-talk not to me of trees! I care not though there never be one on the island, tall enough to hang a coxcomb upon. We will have no trees but those that rise in our havens-the good trees that have yards for boughs, and standing-rigging for leaves."

"But touching the draining of the lake of Braebaster, whereof I spoke to you, Master Magus Troil," said the persevering agriculturist, "whilk I opine would be of so much consequence, there are two ways-down the Linklater glen, or by the Scalmester burn. Now, having taken a level of both".

"There is a third way, Master Yellowley," answered the landlord.

"I profess I can see none,” replied Triptolemus, with as much good faith as a joker could desire in the subject of his wit, “in respect that the hill called Braebaster on the south, and ane high bank on the north, of whilk I cannot carry the name rightly in my head"

"Do not tell us of hills and banks, Master Yellowley— there is a third way of draining the loch, and it is the only way that shall be tried in my day. You say my Lord Chamberlain and I are the joint proprietors-so be it— let each of us start an equal proportion of brandy, limejuice, and sugar, into the loch-a ship's cargo or two will do the job-let us assemble all the jolly Udallers of the country, and in twenty-four hours you shall see dry ground where the loch of Braebaster now is."

A loud laugh of applause, which for a time actually silenced Triptolemus, attended a jest so very well suited to time and place-a jolly toast was given-a merry song was sung-the ship unloaded her sweets-the pinnace made its genial rounds-the duet betwixt Magnus and

Triptolemus, which had attracted the attention of the whole company from its superior vehemence, now once more sunk, and merged into the general hum of the convivial table, and the poet Halcro again resumed his usurped possession of the ear of Mordaunt Mertoun.

"Whereabouts was I?" he said, with a tone which expressed to his weary listener more plainly than words could, how much of his desultory tale yet remained to be told. “O, I remember-we were just at the door of the Wits' Coffee-house-it was set up by one

"Nay, but, my dear Master Halcro," said his hearer, somewhat impatiently, "I am desirous to hear of your meeting with Dryden."

"What, with glorious John ?-true-ay-where was I? At the Wits' Coffee-house-Well, in at the door we got the waiters, and so forth, staring at me; for as to Thimblethwaite, honest fellow, his was a well-known face. -I can tell you a story about that”

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Nay, but John Dryden ?" said Mordaunt, in a tone which deprecated further digression.

"Ay, ay, glorious John-where was I ?-Well, as we stood close by the bar, where one fellew sat grinding of coffee, and another putting up tobacco into penny parcels —a pipe and a dish cost just a penny-then and there it was that I had the first peep of him. One Dennis sat near him, who

"Nay, but John Dryden-what like was he ?" demanded Mordaunt.

"Like a little fat old man, with his own grey hair, and in a full-trimmed black suit, that sat close as a glove. Honest Thimblethwaite let no one but himself shape for glorious John, and he had a slashing hand at a sleeve, I promise you-But there is no getting a mouthful of conimon sense spoken here-d-n that Scotchman, he and old Magnus are at it again."

It was very true; and although the interruption did not resemble a thunder-clap, to which the former stentorian exclamation of the Udaller might have been likened, it was a close and clamorous dispute, maintained by ques

tion, answer, retort, and repartee, as closely huddled upon each other as the sounds which announce from a distance a close and sustained fire of musketry.

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"Hear reason, sir ?" said the Udaller; we will hear reason, and speak reason too; and if reason fall short, you shall have rhyme to boot.-Ha, my little friend Halcro !" Though cut off in the middle of his best story, (if that could be said to have a middle, which had neither beginning nor end,) the bard bristled up at the summons, like a corps of light infantry, when ordered up to the support of the grenadiers, looked smart, slapped the table with his hand, and denoted his becoming readiness to back. his hospitable landlord, as becomes a well-entertained guest. Triptolemus was a little daunted at this reinforcement of his adversary; he paused, like a cautious general, in the sweeping attack which he had commenced on the peculiar usages of Zetland, and spoke not again until the Udaller poked him with the insulting query, "Where is your reason now, Master Yellowley, that you were deafening me with a moment since ?"

"Be but-patient, worthy sir," replied the agriculturist; "what on earth can you or any other man say in defence of that thing you call a plough, in this blinded country? Why, even the savage Highlandmen, in Caithness and Sutherland, can make more work, and better, with their gascromh, or whatever they call it."

"But what ails you at it, sir?" said the Udaller; "let me hear your objections to it. It tills our land, and what would ye more ?"

"It hath but one handle or stilt," replied Triptolemus. "And who the devil," said the poet, aiming at something smart, "would wish to need a pair of stilts, if he can manage to walk with a single one ?"

"Ör tell me," said Magnus Troil," how it were possible for Neil of Lupness, that lost one arm by his fall from the crag of Nekbreckan, to manage a plough with two handles ?"

"The harness is of raw seal-skin," said Triptolemus. "It will save dressed leather," answered Magnus Troil

"It is drawn by four wretched bullocks," said the agriculturist," that are yoked breast-fashion; and two women must follow this unhappy instrument, and complete the furrows with a couple of shovels."

6

"Drink about, Master Yellowley," said the Udaller “and, as you say in Scotland, never fash your thumb.' Our cattle are too high-spirited to let one go before the other; our men are too gentle and well nurtured to take the working-field without the women's company; our ploughs till our land-our land bears us barley; we brew our ale, eat our bread, and make strangers welcome to their share of it. Here's to you, Master Yellowley."

This was said in a tone meant to be decisive of the question; and, accordingly, Halcro whispered to Mordaunt," that has settled the matter, and now we will get on with glorious John.-There he sat in his suit of fulltrimmed black; two years due was the bill, as mine honest landlord afterwards told me,-and such an eye in his head!-none of your burning, blighting, falcon eyes, which we poets are apt to make a rout about,-but a soft, full, thoughtful, yet penetrating glance-never saw the like of it in my life, unless it were little Stephen Cleancogg's, the fiddler, at Papastow, who-"

6

"Nay, but John Dryden ?" said Mordaunt, who, for want of better amusement, had begun to take a sort of pleasure in keeping the old gentleman to his narrative, as men herd in a restive sheep, when they wish to catch hin. He returned to his theme, with his usual phrase of "Ay, true-glorious John-Well, sir, he cast his eye such as I have described it, on mine landlord, and hon est Tim,' said he, 'what hast thou got here?' and all the wits, and lords, and gentlemen, that used to crowd round him, like the wenches round a pedlar at a fair, they made way for us, and up we came to the fire-side, where he had his own established chair,-I have heard it was carried to the balcony in summer, but it was by the fireside when I saw it, so up came Tim Thimblethwaite, through the midst of them, as bold as a lion, and I followed with a small parcel under my arm, which I had