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Revered the soil, of those true sons the mother With a soft besom will I sweep your hulls,
Preach to poor rogues? And wherefore not begin Could reach, with here and there a sail just skip
With Carlton, or with other houses? Try In sight, then lost amidst the forestry (ping
Your hand at harden'd and imperial sin Of masts; a wilderness of steeples peeping
To mend the people's an absurdity, On tip-toe through their sea-coal canopy;
A jargon, a mere philanthropic din, A huge, dun cupola, like a foolscap crown
Unless you make their betters better. Fie!
Teach them the decencies of good threescore: But Juan saw not this : each wreath of smoke
Cure them of tours, hussar and highland dresses; Appear'd to him but as the magic vapour
Tell them that youth once gone returns no more ; Of some alchymic furnace, from whence broke
That hired huzzas redeem no land's distresses. The wealth of worlds (a wealth of tax and paper):
Tell them Sir William Curtis is a bore, The gloomy clouds, which o'er it as a yoke
Too dull even for the dullest of excesses, Are bow'd, and put the sun out like a taper,
The witless Falstaff of a hoary Hal, Were nothing but the natural atmosphere,
A fool whose bells have ceased to ring at all.
Tell them, though it may be perhaps too late
On life's worn confine, jaded, bloated, sated, Before they give their broadside. By and by,
To set up vain pretences of being great, My gentle countrymen, we will renew
'Tis not so to be good; and be it stated, Our old acquaintance; and at least I'll try
The worthiest kings have ever loved least state. To tell you truths you will not take as true,
And tell them But you won't, and I have Because they are so. A male Mrs. Fry,
Just now enough: but by-and-by I'll prattle,
Like Roland's horn in Roncesvalles' battle.
CANTO THE ELEVENTH.
To the old text, still better. Lest it should
As several people think such hazards rude.
Space to dispute what no one ever could
1. WHEN Bishop Berkeley said 'there was no matter,
And proved it—'twas no matter what he said :
Too subtle for the airiest human head;
Gladly all inatters down to stone or lead,
Universe universal Egotism !
World (be it what you will) that that's no schism.
(Not the most dainty Ariel'), and perplexes Our soarings with another sort of question ;
And that which, after all, my spirit vexes,
Without confusion of the sorts and sexes
And therefore will I leave off metaphysical
Discussion, which is neither here nor there :
Being quite perspicuous and extremely fair.
I don't know what the reason is--the air,
(But that I never doubted, nor the Devil);
The third, the usual Origin of Evil ;
On so incontrovertible a level,
Who fell, as rolls an ox o'er in his pasture, To our theme : The man who has stood on the And roar'd out, as he writhed his native mud in, Acropolis,
Unto his nearest follower or henchman, And look'd down over Attica; or he
O Jack ! I'm floor'd by that 'ere bloody French. Who has sail'd where picturesque Constantinople is,
On which Jack and his train set off at speed;
And Juan's suite, late scatter'd at a distance, May not think much of London's first appearance;
Came up, all marvelling at such a deed, But ask him what he thinks of it a year hence.
And offering, as usual, late assistance.
Juan, who saw the moon's late minion bleed
As if his veins would pour out his existence,
Stood calling out for bandages and lint, Sunset the time, the place the same declivity
And wish'd he'd been less hasty with his fliut. Which looks along that vaté of good and ill
XV. Where London streets ferment in full activity; While everything around was calm and still, "Perhaps,' thought he, 'it is the country's wont Except the creak of wheels, which on their
To welcome foreigners in this way: now
I recollect some innkeepers who don't pivot he Heard; and that bee-like, bubbling, busy hum
Differ, except in robbing with a bow
In lieu of a bare blade and brazen front. Of cities, that boil over with their scum.
But what is to be done? I can't allow 1X
The fellow to lie groaning on the road: I say Don Juan, wtapt in contemplation,
So take him up ; I'll help you with the load.
But ere they could perform this pious duty,
The dying man cried, 'Hold ! I've got my gruel Here peals the people's voice, nor can entomb it
Oh for a glass of max !* We've miss'd our booty; Racks, prisons, inquisitions ; resurrection
Let me die where I am!' And as the fuel Awaits it, each new meeting or election.
Of life shrunk in his heart, and thick and sooty
The drops fell from his death-wound, and he X.
drew ill .Here are chaste wives, pure lives: here people His breath, he from his swelling throat untied pay
A kerchief, crying, 'Give Sal that i-and died. But what they please; and, if that things be dear
XVII. 'Tis only that they love to throw away Their cash, to show how much they have a year.
The cravat, stain’d with bloody drops, fell down Here laws are all inviolate; none lay
Before Don Juan's feet: he could not tell Traps for the traveller; every highway's clear:
Exactly why it was before him thrown, Here he was interrupted by a knife,
Nor what the meaning of the man's farewell. With Damn your eyes ! your money or your
Poor Tom was once a kiddy upon town,
A thorough varmint, and a real swell,
Full Aash, all fancy, until fairly diddled,
Don Juan, having done the best he could
In all the circumstances of the case, Upon the road, unless he prove a fighter,
As soon as Crowner's quest' llow'd, pursued May find himself, within that isle of riches,
His travels to the capital apace; Exposed to lose his life as well as breeches.
Esteeming it a little hard he should
In twelve hours' tiine, and very little space,
Have been obliged to slay a free-born native
In self-defence: this made him meditative.
He from the world had cut off a great mani, Or 'God be with you l' and 'tis not absurd
Who in his time had made heroic bustle. To think so; for, half English as I am
Who, in a row, like Toi could lead the van, (To my misfortune), never can I say
Booze in the ken, or at the spellken hustle I heard them wish God with you,' save that way.
Who queer a flat? Who (spite of Bow Street's ban)
On the highi toby-spice so flash the muzzle ? XIII. Juan yet quickly understood their gesture ;
Who, on a lark, witti black-eyed Sal (his blowing.)
So paime, so swell, so nutty, and so knowing it And, being somewhat choleric and sudden; Drew forth a pocket pistol from his vesture, And fired it into one assailant's pudding
† The advance of science and of language has ren
The breadth of pavement, and yon shrine where But Toni's no more and so no more of Tom.
fame is Heroes must die; and, by God's blessing, 'tis A spectral resident-whose pallid beam Not long before the most of them go home.
In shape of moonshine hovers o'er the pileHail ! Thamis, hail! Upon thy verge it is Make this a sacred part of Albion's isle. That Juan's chariot, rolling like a drum
XXV. In thunder, holds the way it can't well miss,
The Druids' groves are gone-so much the better : Through Kennington and all the other tons,
Stonehenge is not-but what the devil is it? Which make us wish ourselves in town at once: But Bedlam still exists with its sage fetter, XXI.
That madmen may not bite you, on a visis.
The Bench, too, seats or suits full many a debtor : Through Groves, so call'd as being void of trees (Like lucus, from no light); through prospects
The Mansion House, too (though some people named
quiz it), Mount Pleasant, as containing naught to please, To me appears a stiff yet grand erection ;
But then the Abbey's worth the whole collection. Nor much to climb; through little boxes framed of bricks, to let the dust in at your ease,
Match'd with the Continent's illumination,
Whose cities Night by no means deigns to gloss. Through coaches, drays, choked turnpikes, and a
The French were not yet a lamplighting nation ; whirl
And when they grew so- on their new-found Of wheels, and roar of voices, and confusion:
lantern, Here taverns wooing to a pint of purl :'.
Instead of wicks, they made a wicked man turn. There mails fast flying off like a delusion :
A row of gentlemen along the streets
Suspended, may illuminate mankind,
As also bonfires made of country seats; (For in those days we had not got to gas);
But the old way is best for the purblind :
The other looks like phosphorus on sheets, Through this, and much, and more, is the ap- A sort of ignis fatuus to the mind, proach
Which, though 'tis certain to perple and frighten, Of travellers to mighty Babylon:
Must burn more brightly ere it
can enlighten. Whether they come by horse, or chaise, or coach,
With slight exceptions all the ways seem one. But London's so w. en lit, that if Diogenes I could say more, but do not choose to encroach
Could recommence to hunt his honest max, Upon the Guide-book's privilege. The sun
And fourå him not amidst the various progenies Had set some time, and night was on the ridge
Of this enormous city's spreading spawn, Of twilight, as the party cross'd the bridge.
'Twere not for want of lamps to aid his dodging his XXIV.
Yet undiscover'd treasure. What I can, That's rather fine, the gentle sound of Thamis
I've done to find the same, throughout life's journey, Who vindicates a moment, too, his stream
But see the world is only one attorney. Though hardly heard through multifarious
Over the stones still rattling, up Pall Mall, The lamps of Westminster's more regular gleam, Through crowds, and carriages -- but waxing
thinner, dered it unnecessary to translate the above good and As thunder'd knockers broke the long-seal'd spell true English, spoken in its original purity by the
Of doors 'gainst duns, and to an early dinner select mobility and their patrons. The following is a stanza of a song which was very popular, at least in
Adinitted a sinall party, as night fell my early days:
Don Juan, our young diplomatic sinner, • On the high toby-spice flash the muzzle,
Pursued his path, and drove past some hotels,
St. James's Palace, and St. James's 'Hells."*
XXX • Then your Blowing will wax gallows haughty,
They reached the hotel: forth stream'd from the When she hears of your scaly mistake,
front door She'll surely turn snitch for the forty,
A tide of well-clad waiters, and around That her Jack may be regular weight.' If there be any gem'man so ignorant as to require a * 'Hells,' gaming-houses. What their number may translation, I refer him to my old friend and corporeal be 110w in this life now not. Before I was of age, pastor and master, John Jackson, Esq., Professor of I knew them pretty accurately, both 'gold' ani! Pugilism; who, I trust, still retains the strength and silver. I was once nearly called out by an acquainsymmetry of his model of a form, together with his tance, because, when he asked me where I thought good huinour, and athletic as well as inental accom- that his soul would be found hereafter, I answered, plishments.
In Silver Hell.
The mob stood, and, as usual, several score
Historians, heroes, lawyers, priests, to put
A fact without some leaven of a lie.
Up annals, revelations, poesy,
Some years before the incidents related
Praised be all liars and all lies! Who now Especially for foreigners and mostly
Can tax my mild Muse with misanthropy ? For those whom favour or whom fortune swells, She rings the world's 'Te Deum,' and her brow And cannot find a bill's small items costly.
Blushes for those who will not ;--but to sigh There many an envoy either dwelt or dwells
Is idle. Let us, like most others, bow, (The den of many a diplomatic lost lie)
Kiss hands, feet, any part of majesty, Until to some conspicuous square they pass,
After the good example of Green Erin,' And blazon o'er the door their names in brass, Whose shamrock now seems rather worse for XXXII.
Don Juan was presented, and his dress
And mien excited general admiration
I don't know which was more admired, or less; The exact affair on which he was sent o'er.
One monstrous diamond drew much observation, 'Twas merely known that, on a secret mission,
Which Catharine in a moment of ivresse A foreigner of rank had graced our shore,
(In love or brandy's fervent fermentation) Young, handsome, and accomplish'd, who was said
Bestow'd upon him, as the public learn'd; (In whispers) to have turned his sovereign's head.
And, to say truth, it had been fairly earned
Besides the ministers and underlings,
Who must be courteous to the accredited
Diplomatists of rather wavering kings, Into the excursive, breaking the indentures
Until their royal riddle's fully read; Of sober reason, wheresoe'er it moves,
The very clerks—those somewhat dirty springs
Of office, or the house of office, fed He found himself extremely in the fashion,
By foul corruption into streams-even they
Were hardly rude enough to earn their pay :
And insolence, no doubt, is what they are The contrary; but then it's in the head.
Employ'd for, since it is their daily labour, Yet as the consequences are as bright
In the dear offices of peace or war; As if they acted with the heart instead,
And should you doubt, pray ask of your next What, after all, can signify the site
neighbour, Of ladies' lucubrations? So they lead
When for a passport, or some other bar In safety to the place for which you start,
To freedom, hc applied (a grief and a bore), What matters if the road be head or heart?
If he found not in this spawn of laxborn riches, XXXV.
Like lap-dogs, the least civil sons of bs. Juan presented, in the proper place,
XLII. To proper placemen, every Russ credential;
But Juan was received with much empressement :And was received with all the due grimace
These phrases of refinement I must borrow By those who govern in the mood potential;
From our next neighbours' land, where, like a Who, seeing a handsome stripling with smooth face,
chessman, Thought (what in state affairs is most essential)
There is a move set down for joy or sorrow, That they as easily might do the youngster,
Not only in mere talking, but the press. Man, As hawks may pounce upon a woodland songster. In islands, is, it seems, downright and thorough, XXXVI.
More than on continents--as if the sea They err'd, as aged men will do: but by
(See Billingsgate) made even the tongue more free. And-by we'll talk of that: and if we don't,
XLIII. 'Twill be because our notion is not high
And yet the British Damme''s rather Attic: Of politicians and their double front,
Your continental oaths are but incontinent, Who live by lies, yet dare not boldly lie.
And turn on things which no aristocratic Now what I love in woman is, they wont
Spirit would name, and therefore even I won't Or can't do otherwise than lie, but do it
anent So well, the very truth seems falsehood to it. XXXVII.
*. Anent' was a Scotch phrase, meaning "conAnd, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but
cerning-with regard to." It has been made
English by the Scotch novels; and, as the FrenchThe truth in masquerade; and I defy
man said, "if it be not, ought to be, English,
This subject quote; as it would be schismatic Of payınent ere the honeymoon's last kisses
In politesse, and have a sound affronting in't : Have waned into a crescent's coruscation,
Of a rich foreigner's initiation,
Not to be overlooked-and gave such credit, For downright rudeness, you may stay at home;
That future bridegrooms swore, and sigh'd, and For true or false politeness (and scarce that
paid it. Now) you may cross the blue deep and white
The Blues, that tender tribe, who sigh o'er sonnets, foam
And with the pages of the last Review The first the emblem (rarely though) of what
Line the interior of their heads or bonnets, You leave behind, the next of much you come
Advanced in all their azure's highest hue; To meet. However, 'tis no time to chat
They talk'd bad French or Spanish, and upon its On general topics: poems must confine
Late authors ask'd him for a hint or two;
And which was softest, Russian or Castilian;
And whether in his travels he saw Ilion.
LI. Meaneth the west or worst end of a city,
Juan, who was a little superficial, And about twice two thousand people, bred
And not in literature a great Drawcansir,
Examin'd by this learn'd and especial
Jury of matrons, scarce knew what to answer;
His duties, warlike, loving, or official,
His steady application as a dancer,
Had kept him from the brink of Hippocrene,
Which now he found was Llue instead of green. He was a bachelor, which is a matter
However, he replied at hazard, with
A modest confidence and calm assurance, And (should she not hold fast by love or pride) 'Tis also of some moment to the latter:
Which lent his learned lucubrations pith, A rib's a thorn in a wed gallant's side,
And pass'd for arguments of good endurance. Requires decorum, and is apt to double
That prodigy, Miss Araminta Smith The horrid sin-and, what's still worse, the trouble.
(Who at sixteen translated Hercules Furons
Into as furious English), with her best look,
Set down his sayings in her commonplace book.
LIII. An air as sentimental as Mozart's
Juan knew several languages-as well Softest of melodies, and could be sad
He might-and brought them up with skill, in time Or cheerful, without any 'flaws or starts,
To save his fame with each accomplish'd belle, Just at the proper time; and though a lad,
Who still regretted that he did not rhyme. Had seen the world—which is a curious sight,
There wanted but this requisite to swell And very much unlike what people write.
His qualities (with them) into sublime;
Lady Fitz-Frisky, and Miss Mævia Mannish, XLVIII. Fair virgins blush'd upon him ; wedded dames
Both long'd extremely to be sung in Spanish. Bloom'd also in less transitory hues;
LIV. For both commodities dwell by the Thames,
However, he did pretty well, and was The painting and the painted: youth, ceruse,
Admitted as an aspirant to all Against his heart preferred their usual claims,
The cotcries, and, as in Banquo's glass, Such as no gentleman can quite reflise :
At great assemblies or in parties small, Daughters admired his dress, and pious mothers
He saw ten thousand living authors pass, Inquired his income, and if he had l»others.
That being about their average numeral:
Also the mighty 'greatest living poets,'
As every paltry magazine can show ils.
In twice five years the greatest living poet,' *Drapery Misses.' This term is probably any. Like to the champion in the fisty ring, thing now but a mystery. It was, however, almost so to me, when I first returned from the East in 1811-1812. It means a pretty, a high-born, a fi:shionable young assured me that the thing was common in London ; female, well instructed by her friends, and furnished and as her own thousands, and blooming looks, and by her milliner with a wardrobe upon credit, to be rich simplicity of array, put any suspicion in her own repaid, when married, by her husband The riddle case out of the question, I confess I gave soine credit was first read to me by a young and pretty heiress, on to the allegation. If necessary, authorities might be my praising the drapery of the unlochered" but cited, in which case I could quote both drapery'and pretty virginities' (like Mrs. Ann Page) of the then the wearers. Let us hope, however, that it is now day, which has now been some years yesterday. She obsolete.