Their genius different, Frank would roam
To town; but Numps, he staid at home.
The youth was forward, apt to learn,
Could foon an honeft living earn ;
Good company would always keep,
Was known to Falstaff in East-cheap;
Threw many a merry main, could bully,
And put the doctor on his cully;

Ply'd hard his work, had learnt the way,
To watch all night, and sleep all day.
Flush'd with fuccefs, new rigg'd, and clean,
Polite his air, genteel his mien :
Accomplish'd thus in every part,
He won a buxom widow's heart.
Her fortune narrow; and too wide,
Alas! lay her concerns, her pride:
Great as a dutchefs, fhe would fcorn
Mean fare, a gentlewoman born;
Poor and expensive! on my life
'Twas but the devil of a wife.

Yet Frank, with what he won by night,
A while liv'd tolerably tight;

And spouse, who fometimes fate till morn
At cribbidge, made a good return.
While thus they liv'd from hand to mouth,
She laid a bantling to the youth;

But whether 'twas his own or no,
My authors don't pretend to know.
His charge enhanc'd, 'tis also true
A lying-in 's expensive too,

In cradles, whittles, fpice-bowls, fack,
Whate'er the wanton goffips lack;
While scandal thick as hail-fhot flies,
Till peaceful bumpers feal their eyes.
Frank deem'd it prudent to retire,
And vifit the good man his fire;
In the stage coach he seats himself,
Loaded with madam and her elf;
In her right hand the coral plac'd,
Her lap a China orange grac'd:
Pap for the babe was not forgot;
And lullaby's melodious note,
That warbled in his ears all day,
Shorten'd the rugged, tedious way.

Frank, to the manfion-house now come,
Rejoic'd to find himself at home;
Neighbours around, and coufins went
By scores, to pay their compliment.
The good old man was kind, 'tis true,
But yet a little shock'd, to view

A fquire fo fine, a fight fo new.
But above all, the lady fair

Was pink'd, and deck'd beyond compare;
Scarce a fhrieve's wife at an affize

Was drefs'd fo fine, fo roll'd her eyes :
And mafter too in all his pride,

His filver rattle by his fide,

Would shake it oft, then fhrilly fcream,
More noify than the yeoman's team;
With taffels and with plumes made proud,
While jingling bells ring out aloud.

D d

The good old dame, ravish'd out-right,
Ev'n doated on fo gay a fight;

Her Frank, as glorious as the morn ;

Poor Numps was look'd upon with scorn.
With other eyes
the yeoman fage
Beheld each youth; nought could engage
wary and difcerning heart,

His

But fterling worth and true defert.
At laft, he could no longer bear
Such ftrange fophifticated ware;
He cries (enrag'd at this odd scene)
"What can this foolish coxcomb mean,
"Who, like a pedlar with his pack,

"Carries his riches on his back?

"Soon fhall this blockhead fink my rents,

"And alienate my tenements,

"Which long have stood in good repair,

"Nor funk, nor rofe, from heir to heir;

"Still the fame rent without advance,

"Since the Black Prince first conquer'd France:

"But now, alas! all must be loft,
"And all my prudent projects croft.
"Brave honeft race! Is it thus then
"We dwindle into gentlemen?

But I'll prevent this foul difgrace,
"This butterfly from hence I'll chace."
He faddles Ball without delay,
To London town directs his way;
There at the Heralds Office he
Took out his coat, and paid his fee,
And had it cheap, as wits agree.

}

A lion rampant, stout and able,
Argent the field, the border fable;
The gay efcutcheon look'd as fine,
As any new-daub'd country fign.
Thus having done what he decreed,
Home he returns 'with all his fpeed:

"Here, fon," said he, " fince you will be
"A gentleman in fpight of me;
"Here, fir, this gorgeous bauble take,
"How well it will become a rake!
"Be what you feem: this is your share;
"But honeft Numps fhall be my heir;
"To him I'll leave my whole estate,
"Left my brave race degenerate."

THE

WE

HAPPY

LUNATICK:

TALE.

To Doctor M, A

HEN faints were cheap in good Nol's reign,
As finners now in Drury-Lane;

Wrapt up in mysteries profound,

A faint perceiv'd his head turn round:
Whether the sweet and favoury wind,
That should have been discharg'd behind,
For want of vent had upward fled,
And feiz'd the fortress of his head;
Ye fage philofophers, debate:
I folve no problems intricate.
That he was mad, to me is clear,
Elfe why should he, whofe nicer ear
Could never bear church-mufick here,
Dd 2

}

Dream

Dream that he heard the bleft above,
Chanting in hymns of joy and love?
Organs themselves, which were of yore
The mufick of the fcarlet whore,

Are now with transport heard. In fine,
Ravish'd with harmony divine,
All earthly bleffings he defies,
The guest and favourite of the skies.
At laft, his too officious friends

The doctor call, and he attends;
The patient cur'd, demands his fee.
Curfe on thy farting pills and thee,"
Reply'd the faint: "ah! to my coft
"I'm cur'd; but where 's the heaven I loft
Go, vile deceiver, get thee hence,
"Who'd barter Paradife for fenfe?"
Ev'n fo bemus'd (that is, poffeft),
With raptures fir'd, and more than bleft;
In pompous epick, towering odes,
I ftrut with heroes, feaft with gods;
Enjoy by turns the tuneful quire,
For me they touch each golden lyre.
Happy delufion! kind deceit !

Till you, my friend, reveal the cheat;
Your eye fevere, traces each fault,

Each fwelling word, each tinfel thought.
Cur'd of my frenzy, I despise

Such trifles, ftript of their disguise,
Convinc'd, and miferably wife.

}

CON