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“ In half an hour you have done more
“ Than Puzzle can in half a score,
“ With all the pra&tice of the courts,
6. His cases, precedents, reports.”
Jack with a smile reply'd, “ 'Tis true,
“ This may seem odd, my friend, to you,
“ But give me not more than my due,
“ No hungry judge nods o'er the laws,
" But hastens to decide the cause :
“ Who hands the oar, and drags the chain,
“ Will struggle to be free again.
“ So lazy men and indolent,
“ With cares oppress’d, and business spent,
« Exert their utmost powers and skill,
“ Work hard; for what? Why, to sit still.
“ They toil, they sweat, they want no fee,
« For ev'n sloth prompts to industry.
“ Therefore, my friend, I freely own
« All this address I now have shown,
“ Is mere impatience, and no more,
“ To lounge and loiter as before :
“ Life is a span, the world an inn-
• Here, firrah, t other nipperkin."
A Yeoman bold (fuppofe of Kent)
Liv'd on his own, and paid no rent;
Manur'd his own paternal land,
Had always money at command,
To purchase bargains, or to lend,
T'improve his stock, or help a friend :
At Cressy and Poictiers, of old,
His ancestors were bow-men bold;
Whose good yew-bows, and sinews strong,
Drew arrows of a cloth-yard long :
For England's glory, strew'd the plain
With barons, counts, and princes slain.
Belov'd by all the neighbourhood,
For his delight was doing good :
At every mart his word a law,
Kept all the fhussing knaves in awe.
How just is heaven, and how true,
To give to such desert its due !
'Tis in authentic legends said,
Two twins at once had bless’d his bed ;
Frank was the eldest, but the other
Was honest Numps, his younger brother ;
That, with a face effeminate,
And shape too fine and delicate,
Took after his fond mother Kate,
A Franklin's daughter. Numps was rough,
No heart of oak was half so tough,
And true as steel, to cuff, or kick,
Or play a bout at double-stick,
Who but friend Numps ? While Frank's delight
Was more (they say) to dance, than fight;
At Whitson-ales king of the May,
Among the maids, brisk, frolic, gay,
He tript it on cach holyday.
Their genius different, Frank would roam
To town ; but Numps, he staid at home.
The youth was forward, apt to learn,
Could soon an honest living earn ;
Good company would always keep,
Was known to Falstaff in East-cheap;
Threw many a merry main, could bully,
the doctor on his cully;
Ply'd hard his work, had learnt the way,
To watch all night, and sleep all day.
Flush'd with success, new rigg'd, and clean,
Polite his air, genteel his mien :
Accomplish'd thus in every part,
He won a buxom widow's heart.
Her fortune narrow; and too wide,
Alas! lay her concerns, her pride :
Great as a dutchess, she would scorn
Mean fare, a gentlewoman born ;
Poor and expensive ! on my
life 'Twas but the devil of a wife. Yet Frank, with what he won by night, A while liv'd tolerably tight; And spouse, who sometimes sate till morn At cribbidge, made a good return. While thus they liv'd from hand to mouth, She laid a bantling to the youth; But whether 'twas his own or no, My authors don't pretend to know. His charge enhanc'd, 'tis also true A lying-in's expensive too,
In cradles, whittles, fpice-bowls, fack,
Whate'er the wanton gossips lack ;
While scandal thick as hail-fhot flies,
Till peaceful bumpers feal their eyes.
Frank deem'd it prudent to retire,
And visit the good man his fire ;
In the stage.coach he seats himself,
Loaded with madam and her elf;
In her right hand the coral plac'd,
Her lap a China orange grac'd:
Pap for the babe was not forgot;
And lullaby's melodious note,
That warbled in his ears all day,
Shorten'd the rugged, tedious way.
Frank, to the mansion-house now come,
Rejoic'd to find himfelf at home;
Neighbours around, and cousins went
By scores, to
The good old man was kind, 'tis true,
But yet a little shock'd, to view
A squire so fine, a fight fo new.
But above all, the lady fair
Was pink’d, and deck'd beyond compare ;
Scarce a fhrieve's wife at an affize
Was dress’d fo fine, so roll'd her
And master too in all his pride,
His filver rattle by his side,
Would shake it oft, then shrilly scream,
More noisy than the yeoman's team ;
With tassels and with plumes made proud,
While jingling bells ring out aloud.
The good old dame, ravish'd out-right,
Ev'n doated on so gay a sight;
Her Frank, as glorious as the morn;
Poor Numps was look'd upon
with scorn. With other
Beheld each youth; nought could engage
His wary and discerning heart,
But sterling worth and true desert.
At last, he could no longer bear
Such strange sophisticated ware;
He cries (enrag?d at this odd scene)
" What can this foolish coxcomb mean,
" Who, like a pedlar with his pack,
« Carries his riches on his back?
“ Soon shall this blockhead sink my rents,
" And alienate my tenements,
“ Which long have stood in good repair,
“ Nor sunk, nor rose, from heir to heir ;
“ Still the same rent without advance,
Since the Black Prince first conquer'd France:
“ But now, alas ! all must be lost,
“ And all my prudent projects crost.
“ Brave honest race! Is it thus then
« We dwindle into gentlemen?
< But I'll prevent this foul disgrace,
“ This butterfly from hence I 'll chace.”
He saddles Ball without delay,
To London town directs his way;
There at the Heralds Office he
Took out his cout, and paid his fee,
And had it cheap, as wits agree.