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Uneasy novice of an order strict,

That on her tongue has laid an interdict,
With her small hands the weighty secret spells,
And weaves her fingers into syllables.

Of things like these my infant mind took note
Ere yet my limbs had felt the strait culotte:
Ill could I else by human wit divine

What Ladies do, when Gents are at their wine.
At length the summons of the simpering Maid,

Or bold-faced footman, tardily obey'd,

Calls Lords, and Knights, and Squires, and Priests, and Bards, From White and Red to Coffee, Tea, and Cards.

When the rude North comes roaring up the vale,

To silence sinks the lily-bending gale:

So sinks the converse of the soft-robed clan
At the hard step of heavy-tramping man.
Lost is the tale, adjourn'd the cutting jest,
The secret kept, the sly charade unguess'd.
With many a smother'd laugh, and many a flush,
The buzzing watch-word passes-hush-hush-hush-
'Tis but the Parson-perhaps it is but I-
Then wherefore, Ladies, all this mystery?
The Parson, sure, cannot excite your fears,
And I, you know, have neither eyes nor ears-
Then let the tale, the jest, the laugh revive,
As if there were not such a quiz alive.

Oh! let me hear your sweetness; and I'm stunn'd
With thine, Ricardo, and the Sinking Fund.

As when victorious troops, to pillage bound,
In scatter'd bands, obey the bugle's sound,
So, one by one, the jovial swains repair
To the soft standard of the muster'd fair.
First, the prim Dangler, complaisant and sleek,
With frill that flutters, and with shoes that creak,
Tells all the news to every aged she,

And points each slander with a low congee;
Pays for each morsel that the Lady gives
With parasitical superlatives:

Whate'er he tastes-'tis excellent-divine-
Above the Coffee-as below the Wine.

Next comes a thing, I know not how to name,

Of doubtful sex, which neither sex will claim

So rank with Bergamot and Attargul,

That every nose will wind him for a fool-
A thing so fine, so exquisitely nice,
It has no gout for virtue, no-nor vice.
Its waspish waist, elaborately thin,
Its heartless leer, and apathetic grin-
That arching eyebrow of inane pretence,
That eye of unimpassion'd impudence-
Are these permitted at a lady's side?
Forbid it, Modesty, and Maiden pride.
Shall he your soft embosom'd thoughts engage
That joins the negatives of youth and age?
Boyish in brain, in heart as weak and cold
As a French Courtier fifty winters old.
Yet oft the feeling heart, the thinking brain,
Attempt to ape him, but attempt in vain :
For, let kind Nature do the best she can,
'Tis Woman still that makes or mars the Man.
And so it is the creature can beguile
The fairest faces of the readiest smile.

The next that comes the Hyson to inhale, If not a Man, at least we own a Male;

His worst offences are against your ears,

For, though he laughs too loud, he seldom sneers.
He knows the Coachman's craft, the Hunter's hollo,
The Fancy phrase, that might confound Apollo.
Right well he loves, in Row, or Lark, or Spree,
To" sound the base string of humility."
His rural friends are Nimrod's genuine seed,
The best among them are his Dog and Steed.
His town acquaintance, form'd on midnight bulks,
Adorn the Nubbing Cheat, or man the Hulks.
With iron grasp-with face and voice of Brass,
He shouts loud greeting to each bonny lass.-
Then bolts his tea-and straight begins a story
Of Hunter's perils, or of Bruiser's glory.
Talks in an unknown tongue of Max and Milling,
And doubtless fancies he is mighty killing.
Now up the stairs, disputing all the way,
Two keen logicians urge their wordy fray:
Abrupt they enter, voluble and loud,

But soon remember that they have not bow'd;
That error mended, both at once relate
To some fair Maid the subject of debate:
To her kind judgment both at once refer-
For each expects a judgment kind from her.
But she, too meek, too witty, and too wise,
To judge between the vassals of her eyes,
To each Polemic seeming to incline-
Allots to each the happy chance-to shine.

Through four full cups their nice distinctions run,
And all suppose them just where they begun :
Till a gruff senior, and his copper nose,

Arrive to part the Dialectic Foes.

"Young Men," says he, "be sure you both are wrong,

And all your Theories are not worth a song:

The point is one that elder heads has puzzled;

Presumptuous boys like you should all be muzzled."
Then to the maid he turns his solemn pace,
And gravely tells her he has judged the case.
But now the lingering votaries of port
Make to the fair-their long-delay'd resort.
What bulky forms around the table press!
D. D. and LL. D. and A. S. S.

The china rings-the urn is nigh o'erset,
By such a Bacchanalian Alphabet.
With glowing faces, and with watery eyes,
They pass about their pursy gallantries.
What beauties they in every dame behold-
Inspired adorers of the plain and old:
If men were still so happy and so blind,

Could men or women call their fate unkind?

They not remark the glance-the laugh supprest—

In the pert virgin's newly-budded breast;

Nor see their wives' contracted brow severe,

Their daughter's blush, that moves the Dandy's sneer;

Nay, scarce young Nimrod's merry roar can hear.

Hark-like the rumble of a coming storm,

Without we hear the dreadful word, Reform-
Last of the rout, and dogg'd with public cares,
The politician stumbles up the stairs;

Whose dusky soul not beauty can illume,
Nor wine dispel his patriotic gloom.
From guest to guest in turbid ire he goes,
And ranks us all among our country's foes.
Says 'tis a shame that we should take our tea
Till wrongs are righted, and the nation free;
That priests and poets are a venal race,
Who preach for patronage, and rhyme for place;
That boys and girls are crazy to be cooing,
When England's hope is bankruptcy and ruin;
That wiser 'twere the coming wrath to fly,
And that old women should make haste to die.
As froward infants cry themselves to sleep,
If unregarded they are left to weep,

So patriot zeal, if unopposed, destroys

Its strength with fervour, and its breath with noise.
Allow'd resistless as the Son of Ammon,
Behold the great Reformer at Backgammon :
Debt, taxes, boroughs, and decline of price,
Forgotten all, he only damns the dice.

But pause the urn that sweetly sung before,
Like a crack'd lute, is vocal now no more;
Dry as the footsteps of the ebbing sea,
Effete and flaccid lie the leaves of tea.
And I, who always keep the golden mean,
Have just declined a seventh cup of green.
The noise, the tumult of that hour is flown;
Lost in quadrille, whist, commerce, or Pope Joan,
With eager haste my theme is clear'd away;
And, Tea concluded, shall conclude my lay.

ANNALS OF THE PENINSULAR WAR-BY THE AUTHOR OF
CYRIL THORNTON.*

THE history of the war in the Peninsula and the South of France, from the year 1807 to the year 1814, possesses an undying interest to alĺ the friends of freedom, and especially to the people by whose surpassing heroism that war was brought, through a series of hard-won conquests, to a glorious close.

From

the beginning to the end, that war was just; and therefore, throughout the whole sanguinary struggle, which was distinguished by many alternations of good and bad fortune, the heart of Britain never fainted, but was confident of the tyrant's final overthrow. With us, whatever may have been the case with the Spaniards, it was a great national contest. We, as a military nation, were pitched against the French. At sea we had ever been victorious, and had at last annihilated their navy"Had swept the deep from Denmark to

the Nile."

But on land, France was deemed invincible-not only so deemed by herself, but, it may be truly said, by all the nations of Europe. The Peninsula, then, was the field on which it was to be decided, foot to foot, whether there was not one nation left able to cope with them who vaunted themselves to be the conquerors of the world.

How stood the French power in the Peninsula? The extent and population of the French empire, including the kingdom of Italy, the Confederation of the Rhine, the Swiss Cantons, the duchy of Warsaw, and the dependent States of Holland and Naples, had enabled Bonaparte, through the medium of the conscription, to array an army in number nearly equal to the great host that followed of old the Persian against Greece; like that multitude also, his troops were gathered from many nations, but they were trained in a Roman discipline, and ruled by a Carthaginian genius. The organization of

Napoleon's army was simple, the administration vigorous, the manipu lations well contrived. The French officers, accustomed to success, were bold, enterprising, of great reputation, and feared accordingly. By a combination of discipline and moral excitement, admirably adapted to the mixed nature of his troops, the Emperor had created a power that appeared to be resistless.† Some unexpected reverses, and above all, the shameful surrender of Dupont's army at Baylen, had indeed shown that even the French armies were not always superior to defeat; and Joseph's abandonment of Madrid had left a breathing-time to the Spanish people, who at this period of the war deserved the name of Patriots. But Portugal was entirely in the possession of the French-and to drive them out of that kingdom (as she had, indeed, formerly done out of Egypt,) was a design worthy of the nation, who, having for many years strenuously exerted one sinew of war-gold-it may be said nearly in vain-for the salvation of Europenow resolved to try the other sinew

iron,-iron in the hands not of mercenaries, who might be bought and sold, but of her own incorrup tible and unconquerable sons.

And how stood the power of Eng land? Formidable as the French army undoubtedly was, from numbers, discipline, skill, and bravery, the British army was inferior to it in none of those points save the first, and in discipline it was superior, because a national army will always bear a sterner code than a mixed force will suffer. True that the ill-success of the expeditions in 1794 and 1799 seemed to justify the ignorant contempt with which the British nation had foolishly and ungratefully regarded the British army; but had those failures been traced to the true cause, that ignorant contempt would have been extinguished in

* Annals of the Peninsular Campaigns, from 1808 to 1814. By the Author of Cyril Thornton. In three volumes.William Blackwood, Edinburgh: and T. Cadell, Strand, London.

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just admiration. From the time of those disasters, down to that when the first British armament sailed for the Peninsula, the Duke of York had perfected the discipline of the army; so that, in 1808, England was scorned both at home and abroad, as a military power, when, says Colonel Napier, she possessed, without a frontier to swallow up large armies in extensive fortresses, at least two hundred thousand of the best equipped and best disciplined soldiers in the universe, together with an immense recruiting establishment, and through the medium of the militia, the power of drawing upon the population with out limit. Her military force consisted of thirty thousand cavalry, six thousand foot-guards, a hundred and seventy thousand infantry of the line, and fourteen thousand artillery; of which between fifty and sixty thousand were employed in the colonies and in India. The remainder might be said to have been disposable; for from eighty to one hundred thousand militia, differing from the regular troops in nothing but the name, (such is the character given them by Colonel Napier,) were sufficient for the home duties. If to this force we add thirty thousand marines, the military power of England must be considered as prodigious-greater than that with which Napoleon won the battle of Austerlitz, and double that with which he conquered Italy.

But though Britain, as a military power, was thus able to cope with France in Spain, as the event gloriously proved, the spell of invincibility that had so long hung, in imagination, over the French armies, was strong and appalling; and the Whigs, cowards ever, declared that an expedition to the Peninsula would be madness. What! oppose Bonaparte and his Marshals? In a few months, the French would spread over the Peninsula, like fire along stubble; any army that might be sent from our shores to stop the conflagration, would soon be itself consumed; blood and treasure would be lavished in vain, for a thankless people, and a hopeless cause; and defeat and disaster would hasten the day of the decline and fall of our own empire. Counsels, nobler and wiser, prevailed; and their spirit being worthy of our national character, redeem

ed the many errors which were afterwards committed, both at home and abroad; and, in spite of them all, brought this great contest to a conclusion, that changed, for ages to come, the destinies of all the civilized kingdoms of the earth.

The history of all those glorious campaigns has been writ aright by many pens; and, as is fitting, by pens in the same hands that wielded the sword. Some of the French officers have given us their narratives; but we are justified in saying, that in them it would be absurd to look for the truth. They carried on a war of unjust aggression. The conflict between the hardy veterans of Bonaparte, and the bloody vindictive race he insulted, assumed, says Colonel Napier, in a work, as many think, too favourable to the French, a character of unmitigated ferocity, disgraceful to human nature; for the Spaniards did not fail to defend their just cause with hereditary cruelty; and the French army struck a terrible balance of barbarous actions. In recording the events of such a war, the French officers, therefore, had much to conceal, to deny, or gloss over; but the British army fought, from beginning to end, as liberators; and therefore, its officers needed not to recoil from the narration of the inevitable horrors of war. Excesses there must be in all wars, at which humanity shudders; but here there were no enormities to record, except such as must ever be perpetrated in those tragedies which go sweepingly over the bloody stage, when a whole land is the theatre for the acting of a succession of dreadful dramas. Besides, we hesitate not to say, that, generally speaking, the whole system of French bulletins has ever been one of falsehood; and that of English Gazettes one of truth. National prejudices and partialities will prevail among every people; but who will dare to deny, that one and all of the narratives by British officers of the Peninsular campaigns, are free from the open-eyed and resolute lies, which disfigure and disgrace all those that have been given to the world by the most distinguished officers in the French service? Colonel Napier himself not unfrequently denounces the falsehood and ferocity of our enemies, while he bears testimony to their

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