nothing must be known-or an Irish estate, an unseen spring of convenient wealth. As he totally evaded the labors of his business, he ought in fairness to have been moderately indifferent to its returns but, in point of fact, he was far more rapacious than the active partners; and the mention of storms, embargoes, blockades, or anything that tended to the diminution of his income, exasperated him to madness. Money, however, was with him an evanescent good: he was habitually extravagant, and lest any motive to profusion should be wanting, he selected for his wife the worst of all possible economistsa poor lady of rank. Her expenses and his own frequently reduced the gentleman-merchant to some difficulties; but, on such occasions, he studied not how to reduce his expenditure, but how to increase his income. With this view, he effected at one time a reduction in the salaries of the clerks, and at another, by abolishing their vacations of a week annually, diminished their numbers-measures by which he saved sixty pounds towards the rent of an onera-box. On an appointed day, Maurice set out for the counting-house of the Russian merchants. It was situated in a lane leading out of Lombard-street, so narrow that broad daylight could never be said to enter it, and, in winter, sunrise and sunset could most easily be ascertained by the almanac. Ascending the ancient stairs, he entered a large, low room, lighted with gas, which served to exhibit the filthiness of its condition, and the sallow countenances of ten laborers at their desks. In compliance with the directions there given him, he proceeded to an adjoining closet, where, perched on a stool, sat a very short Tyrian prince, by name Sichæus, or, as he was more commonly and corruptly called, Mr. Sikes. The room was ridiculously small, but into it were crowded, with much ingenuity, a fire-place, a desk, a stool, and Mr. Sikes. Its contracted dimensions seemed, however, to give its tenant no uneasiness; and, indeed, he could do in it what no man could do in a palace; for, as he sat on his stool, he could open the window, shut the door, stir the fire, or kill a spider on the ceiling. He heard the address of Maurice with attention, but soon exhibited his reigning characteristic, which was to be always busy. He had, indeed, a great weight of occupa tion; but he affected to have yet more, and never was so hurried or precipitate in dismissing a visiter, as when beginning to kick his legs against his stool for want of any other earthly employment. In fact, being busy was with him as mere a trick as taking snuff, or going to church he was busy eating, busy sleeping, and busy doing nothing; and though he has since found time to die, he was so much hurried that he died suddenly. He received Maurice with blunt civility, and, after making a few inquiries, set him immediately to work at copying out a long letter of business relating chiefly to tallow, to Palcoviwitch, Lorobowsky and Palarislay, merchants at St. Petersburgh. He was accordingly introduced into the company of his fellow-clerks, and while undergoing much observation and remark, he, in his turn, made several conclusions respecting them. Most of them seemed to have little care of their manners or appearance; but there was one of more refinement, who, while the rest spat openly, like cats in a passion, put his hand beside his mouth to conceal the operation; and, while two of his companions were quarreling about the shutting of a window, earnestly and politely entreated them not to make d-d fools of themselves. But they had little time to waste. and, excepting some angry inter ludes and complaints of an unequa division of labor, their whole atten tion was absorbed by immense book and numberless papers. Maurice The centre-dish, side-dishes, and found his own share of the labor top and bottom dishes were ingenisufficiently wearisome, and before ously contracted into one, bearing he had half completed it, he was a small piece of cheese that a hunassailed by a violent headach, gry rat would have scorned, beside which gradually increased till the a lump of butter, to the authorship hour of his release arrived. At of which sheep and pigs had a betthat wished-for period, he returned ter claim than cows; and with this to his hotel, with eyes dizzied by the the unsophisticated repast conglare of diurnal gas, and spirits de- cluded. pressed by fatigue; and beginning to suspect that, though London was certainly the mart of wealth and grandeur, it was not a scene of pure and unalloyed pleasure. The day following he occupied in seeking some place of abode more suited to his very limited finances, and finally selected the first floor (as the second floor of a building is generally called) of a house in the suburbs, which adjoined a large open space, full of new bricks and deep pits, whence their materials had been extracted. On the evening of his establishment in these "pleasant and airy lodgings," he returned from his office to a late dinner, much annoyed by a reproof from his superior, and an insult from one of his fellow-clerks. After knocking three times, he was admitted by a little girl; and having proceeded up stairs in the dark, he, in course of time, succeeded in obtaining a light. In another halfhour, his dinner appeared, consisting of two mutton-chops, embedded in liquiescent grease, which seemed eager to claim kindred with the more perfect character of the tallow of the solitary yellow candle. Two enormous potatoes, pleasingly diversified with black spots, and as hard as cannon-balls, completed the course; and the place of wines, in all their absurd variety, was philosophically supplied by a pint of black liquor, compounded of glue, treacle and wormwood, and denominated porter. The second course was brought in with much ceremony by the child before-mentioned, whom, in default of a bell, he was obliged to summon by her name-Arrier-Beller. All men of business, when left to themselves, fall fast asleep immediately after dinner; and Maurice experienced exhaustion and fatigue enough to induce him to adopt the same course, had his inclinations been his only rule. But it happened that there were lodging over him two little children who screamed incessantly, the one taking turns with the other to sleep; while, during one half of the day and night, their parents made twice as much noise in attempting to quiet them. Not, indeed, that the infants were always ill or out of temper; but the only method their tender age had of expressing pain or pleasure, was by an exertion of the lungs, which made them black in the face; and the amusements contrived for them-such as rattling the latch of a door, or galloping on a footstool-were all of a noisy character. Maurice wished he could explain to them that his head ached, and regretted that the mother, in singing her boy to sleep, thought it necessary, vibrating seconds, to stamp sixty times in a minute on the frail floor; but he endeavored to recollect that the path to eminence is generally toilsome, and, as his evils were of his own choosing, pride furnished him with a resolution, which he chose to call patience. More than a month passed away in unremitting labor, and Maurice yet saw no prospect of the advancement he anticipated, and had tasted none of the pleasures with which he had always understood London to overflow. His masters were imperious, and reproved him in unmeasured terms for the mistakes into which he was led by entire ignorance of the system of business; but the annoyances he experienced from them were unfrequent, compared with those he received from his fellow-laborers. In admitting an idea so novel as the possibility of a mere countryman being in any respect superior to denizens of the largest, most smoky, and most conceited capital in the world, he was, as it became him, modest; and when they ridiculed his dress or his provincialisms, he strove to believe their taste excellent, and their language English. When Mr. Merivale abolished the vacations of his unfortunate clerks, he deeply regretted that popular opinion compelled him to let them be idle all Sunday; and had he not, on other grounds, been an infidel, he never could have believed that a deity who knew any thing of the world would have been so regardless of the interests of commerce as to make fifty-two days in every year unavailable for the purposes of business. Multiplying fifty-two by ten, he found five hundred and twenty days were lost to him annually. Indeed the general character of the Sunday seemed to afford him some ground for considering it almost useless as a religious institution. Not that he objected to ministerial dinners and private parties on that day; but he thought it intolerable that the lower classes, for whom religion was certainly invented, should neglect the opportunity afforded them. He considered it obtaining a holiday under false pretences. Sunday, therefore, Maurice had at his own disposal; and though habit sent him to church in the morning, he thought fit, in the afternoon, to amuse himself by walking towards the West. His dress, with which he had taken unusual pains, consisted of top-boots and drab br-ch-s, a red waistcoat striped with black, and a black neckcloth with red spots, the whole surmounted by a snuff-colored coat, and a hat of prodigious extent: nor had he any reason to be dissatisfied with the attention he excited. After encountering a few trifling accidents, of which the most important were spraining his ancle by slipping off the pavement; losing his handkerchief he knew not how; having his hat blown off by an unexpected gust of wind; and his foo crushed by a person stepping back upon it; and ensuring a tolerable headach by coming in contact with a stout fellow who was walking rapidly, and, like himself, looking another way-he at length entered the Park, not a little irritated and fatigued. Presently he came to an oblong sheet of water, and was told it was the Serpentine ; but this was too much for his credulity, and he expressed so freely his opinion of his informant's veracity, that he narrowly escaped a hostile engagement. Continuing to walk forward among stunted trees, he now saw at a distance a long line of vehicles, and concluded, as they seemed to be perfectly stationary, that it was a stand of hackney-coaches; but as he drew nearer, he perceived them to be in very tardy motion, and settled in his own mind that it was the funeral of some distinguished person. At length he learned the true nature of the spectacle ; and never did his ideas of London receive a greater shock, than when he was given to understand that this melancholy procession, this tortoise-hunt, formed the most extatic enjoyment of the highest classes, to whom the kindness of fortune had opened all the avenues of pleasure! In the midst of the crowd he discovered the family of Mr. James, and thinking he could do no less, he approached the carriage, and offered his compliments at the open window, but, to his great astonishment, they did not recognize him, and, with a stare of surprise, drew up the glass. As he returned to the footpath, he encountered a par ty of young men who were laughing immoderately, and some of their expressions which reached his ear explained to him that he had just undergone a very marked insult, and was consequently the object of general derision. His feelings were not very comfortable; he could almost have wept with vexation, and growing a little weary of pleasure, he put his hand to his watch hoping to find it time to return home, but his endeavor to find the seals was ineffectual; and he was compelled to admit the melancholy conviction, that he had sustained a second loss more serious than the preceding one. In his way home he encountered the friend by whose kindness he had obtained the situation he held, informed him of his misfortune, and was advised how to act, that is, to do nothing at all. Proceeding to inquire after the family of his relative, he learnt, to his surprise, that he had not seen them very lately. To his questions respecting his shop, his gig, and his cottage at Highgate, his answers were very sparing; and at the end of a certain street he bade him farewell, nor could any persuasion induce him to extend his walk. Maurice observed a change in him, and wondered at the modesty with which so prosperous and wealthy a tradesman spoke of his possessions; but shortly after, his admiration was removed by learning that he was at that very period enjoying the rules of the Fleet Prison. The ensuing week afforded him one of those commercial miracles, a holiday, of human institution. The great question among his companions was how to make the most of it; and it was finally decided that a party should be formed to row up the river, and visit one of the theatres in the evening. He consented to share in the excursion; and as all the party professed themselves expert rowers, and scoffed at the idea of steering, he anticipated very great pleasure. When they were all seated in an eight-oared boat, it was discovered that every oar was in the wrong place, and the act of exchanging produced so much confusion, and so many disasters, that the whole crew were completely out of temper before the voyage was commenced. At length they made way, but they had no idea of keeping time, and perhaps the universe did not afford anything more ridiculous than the spectacle they exhibited, dipping their oars into the water in regular succession, like the paddles of a steam-packet, and looking all the while exceedingly earnest, and very angry. One accused another of not rowing, but he insisted upon it that he did, and appealed to his profuse perspiration, and hands already nearly flayed. The steersman, however, bore the blame of all that went wrong, and after undergoing vehement censure from all quarters, surrendered his office to another of the party, who was completely exhausted by ten minutes' labor. But his successor was still more ignorant, and more unfortunate, and the numberless directions given him puzzled him infinitely, because those who gave them sometimes remembered, and sometimes forgot, that their right was his left, and the converse. Once he steered them against a barge, then against a bridge, and, finally, having spoilt a wherry-match near the Red House, he was so much irritated by the reproaches showered on him, that he insisted on being put on shore. His request was granted with many sneers and much laughter; but he was not unrevenged, for as his companions were putting off again, a bargeman dashed his enormous pole into the river, and covered them with mud and water, while a rope carried away the hat of one of them; and he could obtain no other satisfaction for the injury than virulent abuse for being a cockney, and intimations that, one day or another, he would meet with a rope productive of more serious consequences. It had been fixed that the party should re-assemble at the lodgings of one of them in the evening. There, in the intervals of smoking, they were occupied in discussing many subjects of the last importance. It was astonishing to perceive how easily they determined questions in politics and religion, on which other wise men had doubted and disputed for ages. Occasionally they descended to minor topics praised an actress to whose "benefit" they had received an order; spoke of fashions in dress, which they imagined to exist at the other end of the town; and established doctrines of etiquette they were fortunate enough to overlook in practice. They now adjourned to the theatre, and reaching it half an hour before the commencement of halfprice, spent the interval in a sepulchral gallery, listening to sounds of mysterious import. The companions of Maurice were not, however, unoccupied; for with commendable forethought, they proceeded, like persons preparing for an expedition to the Pole, to lay in stores of provisions, sufficient, if properly economized, to last them a year or two. But ere many minutes had elapsed, their resolution failed them, and first one, and then another, released from his distended pocket an apple, an orange, or a biscuit; and then ensued a scene of great variety, accompanied by sounds which seemed sufficient to maintain the principle of suction against all philosophy. When the first rage of appetite had subsided, they began to pelt each other with orange-peel, and practise many other witty jokes, far above the capacity of country people. But the greatest mirth was excited by one of them knocking off the hat of his neighbor, from which there fell a handkerchief, a pair of gloves, two oranges, a cigar and a half, a bill of the play, and some biscuits: a feat which the sufferer took very easily; and while he replaced the rest of his possessions, politely offered Maurice one of the biscuits which had been broken by the fall. At length the third act concluded, and the doors being opened, the expectant multitude rushed with useless eagerness towards the crowded pit. In the midst, however, of the crush and vapor, Maurice perceived a vacant standing-place, and hastily occupying it, looked with an air of triumph at his companions; but, while he was at the height of his self-gratulation, a good-natured person advised him to take off his hat, which, on examination, he found covered with the droppings of a candle placed above. Then one of the gods thought proper to send down a glass bottle on the heads of those below; fortunately it alighted on that man whose comprehensive hat was before mentioned. Maurice, overpowered perhaps by the odor of gas and the exhalations of human bodies densely crowded together, thought it just such a play as he had seen performed in the country, and though the theatre was huge, and the performers more elegant, the superiority was not so striking as he expected. Nor could he disguise it from himself that there were many points in the representation more vulgar and wicked than he should have supposed so brilliant an assemblage would tolerate, especially as he had been informed of the notable fact, that, a little time before, a celebrated performer had been hissed off the stage, because he had been found guilty of a breach of the seventh commandment-a circumstance which had struck him forcibly, and naturally led him to conclude, that, as known adulterers were not only endured but courted in every other department of public life, the stage must be superior to them in morality and decorum; nor did it then occur to him to consider it as a mark of detestable hypocrisy |