LETTERS. LETTER I. "TO MISS PIGOT OF SOUTHWELL. "Burgage Manor, August 29, 1804. [personæ,'-St. Dominie defend me from such a scene! Seriously, your mother has laid me under great obligations, and you, with the rest of your family, merit my warmest thanks for your kind contrivance at my escape from Mrs. Byron furiosa.' "I received the arms, my dear Miss Pigot, and "Oh! for the pen of Ariosto to rehearse, in epic, am very much obliged to you for the trouble you the scolding of that momentous eve,-or rather, let have taken. It is impossible I should have any me invoke the shade of Dante to inspire me, for fault to find with them. The sight of the drawings none but the author of the 'Inferno' could properly gives me great pleasure for a double reason,-in the preside over such an attempt. But, perhaps, where first place, they will ornament my books; in the the pen might fail, the pencil would succeed. What next, they convince me that you have not forgotten a group!-Mrs. B. the principal figure; you cramme. I am, however, sorry you do not return sooner ming your ears with cotton, as the only antitode to -you have already been gone an age. I perhaps total deafness; Mrs. in vain endeavoring to may have taken my departure for London before mitigate the wrath of the lioness robbed of her you come back; but, however, I will hope not. Do whelp; and last, though not least, Elizabeth and not overlook my watch-ribbon and purse, as I wish Wousky,-wonderful to relate!-both deprived of to carry them with me. Your note was given me their parts of speech, and bringing up the rear in by Harry, at the play, whither I attended Miss Lyon mute astonishment. How did S. B. receive the inand Dr. S; and now I have sat down to answer telligence? How many puns did he utter on so fait before I go to bed. If I am at Southwell when cetious an event? In your next inform me on this you return, and I sincerely hope you will soon, for point, and what excuse you made to A. You are very much regret your absence,-I shall be happy probably by this time tired of deciphering this hieto hear you sing my favorite, The Maid of Lodi.' roglyphical letter;-like Tony Lumpkin, you will My mother, together with myself, desires to be affectionately remembered to Mrs. Pigot, and be- All Southwell, without doubt, is involved in amazepronounce mine to be a dd up and down hand. lieve me, my dear Miss Pigot, I remain your affec- ment. Apropos, how does my blue-eyed nun, the tionate friend, fair? is she 'robed in sable garb of wo?' I BYRON. "P.S. If you think proper to send me any answer to this, I shall be extremely happy to receive it. Adieu. "P.S. 2d. As you say you are a novice in the art of knitting, I hope it don't give you too much trouble. Go on slowly, but surely. Once more, adieu." LETTER II. ΤΟ MR. PIGOT. "16 Piccadilly, August 9, 1810. "MY DEAR PIGOT, ⚫ His Mother. Her recent violence of temper had compelled him to fly to London, "Here I remain at least a week or ten days; previous to my departure you shall receive my address, but what it will be I have not determined. My lodgings must be kept secret from Mrs. B.; you may present my compliments to her, and say any attempt to pursue me will fail, as I have taken measures to retreat immediately to Portsmouth, on the first intimation of her removal from Southwell. You may add, I have now proceeded to a friend's house in the country, there to remain a fortnight. "I have now blotted (I must not say written) a complete double letter, and in return shall expect a monstrous budget. Without doubt, the dames of Southwell reprobate the pernicious example I have shown, and tremble lest their babes should disobey their mandates, and quit in dudgeon their mammas on any grievance. Adieu. When you begin your next, drop the lordship,' and put 'Byron' in its place. Believe me yours, &c. LETTER III. TO MISS PIGOT. "MY DEAR BRIDGET, "BYRON." "London, August 10, 1906. "As I have already troubled your brother with more than he will find pleasure in deciphering, you are the next to whom I shall assign the difficult tle. By the enclosure of a second jingle of rhyme, employment of perusing this second epistle. You you will probably conceive my muse to be vastly will perceive from my first, that no idea of Mrs. B.'s prolific; her inserted production was brought forth arrival had disturbed me at the time it was written; a few years ago, and found by accident on Thursday not so the present, since the appearance of a note among some old papers. I have recopied it, and, from the illustrious cause of my sudden decampment adding the proper date, request it may be printed has driven the natural ruby from my cheeks,' and with the rest of the family. I thought your senticompletely blanched my wo-begone countenance. ments on the last bantling would coincide with This gunpowder intimation of her arrival, (confound mine, but it was impossible to give it any other her activity!) breathes less of terror and dismay than garb, being founded on facts. My stay at Worthing you will probably imagine from the volcanic tempera- will not exceed three weeks, and you may possibly ment of her ladyship, and concludes with the com- behold me again at Southwell the middle of Sepfortable assurance of all present motion being pre-tember. vented by the fatigue of her journey, for which my "Will you desire Ridge to suspend the printing blessings are due to the rough roads and restive of my poems till he hears further from me, as quadrupeds of his majesty's highways. As I have have determined to give them a new form entirely. not the smallest inclination to be chased round the This prohibition does not extend to the last two country, I shall e'en make a virtue of necessity, pieces I have sent with my letters to you. You will and, since, like Macbeth, They've tied me to the excuse the dull vanity of this epistle, as my brain is stake, I cannot fly,' I shall imitate that valorous a chaos of absurd images, and full of business, tyrant, and bear-like fight the course,' all escape preparations, and projects. being precluded. I can now engage with less disad- "I shall expect an answer with impatience ;-bevantage, having drawn the enemy from her en- lieve me, there is nothing at this moment could trenchments, though, like the prototype to whom I give me greater delight than your letter." have compared myself, with an excellent chance of being knocked on the head. However, lay on, Macduff, and d-d be he who first cries, hold, enough.' "I shall remain in town for, at least, a week, and expect to hear from you before its expiration. I presume the printer has brought you the offspring of my poetic mania. Remember, in the first line,] to read loud the winds whistle,' instead of 'round,' which that blockhead Ridge has inserted by mistake, and makes nonsense of the whole stanza. Addio!-Now to encounter my Hydra. Yours ever." LETTER IV. ΤΟ MR. PIGOT. LETTER VI. TO MR. PIGOT. "London, August 18, 1906. ing, and write merely to request you will send that "I am just on the point of setting off for Worthidle scoundrel Charles, [his groom,] with my horses immediately; tell him I am excessively provoked he has not made his appearance before, or written to inform me of the cause of his delay, particularly as I supplied him with money for his journey. On no pretext is he to postpone his march one day longer, and if, in obedience to the caprices of Mrs. B., (who I presume is again spreading desolation through her little monarchy,) he thinks proper to disregard my positive orders, I shall not, in future, "DEAR PIGOT, consider him as my servant. He must bring the "This astonishing packet will, doubtless, amaze surgeon's bill with him, which I will discharge imyou, but having an idle hour this evening, I wrote mediately on receiving it. Nor can I conceive the the enclosed stanzas, which I request you to deliver reason of his not acquainting Frank, [his valet,] to Ridge, to be printed separate from my other com- with the state of my unfortunate quadrupeds. Dear positions, as you will perceive them to be improper Pigot, forgive this petulant effusion, and attribute for the perusal of ladies; of course, none of the fe- it to the idle conduct of that precious rascal, who, males of your family must see them. I offer a instead of obeying my injunctions, is sauntering thousand apologies for the trouble I have given you through the streets of that political Pandemonium, in this and other instances. Yours truly." "London, Sunday, midnight, August 10, 1806. LETTER V. TO MR. PIGOT. "Piccadilly, August 16, 1806. Nottingham. Present my remembrances to your family and the Leacrofts, and believe me, &c. "P.S. I delegate to you the unpleasant task of despatching him on his journey-Mrs. B.'s orders to the contrary are not to be attended to; he is to proceed first to London, and then to Worthing, without delay. Every thing I have left must be sent to London. My Poetics you will pack up for the same place, and not even reserve a copy for yourself and sister, as I am about to give them an entire new form: when they are complete, you shall have the first fruits. Mrs.B. on no account is to see or touch them. Adieu." I cannot exactly say with Caesar, Veni, vidi, vici: however, the most important part of his laconic account of success applies to my present situation; for, though Mrs. Byron took the trouble of 'coming' and seeing,' yet your humble servant proved the victor. After an obstinate engagement of some hours, in which we suffered considerable damage, from the quickness of the enemy's fire, they at length retired in confusion, leaving behind the artillery, field equipage, and some prisoners: their defeat is decisive of the present campaign. To speak more intelligibly, Mrs. B. returns immediately, but I proceed, with all my laurels, to Worth"Little Hampton, August 26, 1806. ing, on the Sussex coast; to which place you will "I this morning received your epistle, which I address (to be left at the post-office) your next epis-was obliged to send for to Worthing, whence I • See Hours of Idleness, page 413. LETTER VII. TO MR. PIGOT. have removed to this place, on the same coast, about eight miles distant from the former. You will * probably not be displeased with this letter, when it for the purpose of explaining (as far as possible, informs you that I am 30,000. richer than I was at without involving some old friends of mine in the our parting having just received intelligence from business) the cause of my behavior to him during my lawyer that a cause has been gained at Lancas- my last residence at Harrow, (nearly two years ago,) ter assizes, which will be worth that sum by the which you will recollect was rather 'en cavalier.' time I come of age. Mrs. B. is doubtless acquainted Since that period I have discovered he was treated of this acquisition, though not apprized of its exact with injustice, both by those who misrepresented value, of which she had better be ignorant; for her his conduct, and by me in consequence of their sugbehavior on any sudden piece of favorable intelli- gestions. I have therefore made all the reparation gence is, if possible, more ridiculous than her de- in my power, by apologizing for my mistake, though testable conduct on the most trifling circumstance with very faint hopes of success; indeed I never of an unpleasant nature. You may give my com- expected any answer, but desired one for form's pliments to her, and say that her detaining my ser- sake; that has not yet arrived, and most probably vant's things shall only lengthen my absence; for never will. However, I have eased my own conunless they are immediately despatched to 16 Pic-science by the atonement, which is humiliating. cadilly, together with those which have been so long enough to one of my disposition, yet I could not delayed belonging to myself, she shall never again have slept satisfied with the reflection of having, behold my radiant countenance illuminating her even unintentionally, injured any individual. gloomy mansion. If they are sent, I may probably done all that could be done to repair the injury, appear in less than two years from the date of my and there the affair must end. Whether we renew present epistle. our intimacy or not is of very trivial consequence. "Metrical compliment is an ample reward for my. "My time has lately been much occupied with strains; you are one of the few votaries of Apollo very different pursuits. I have been transporting a who unite the sciences over which that deity pre- servant, who cheated me,-rather a disagreeable sides. I wish you to send my poems to my lodgings event; performing in private theatricals; publishin London immediately, as I have several altera- ing a volume of poems, (at the request of my tions and some additions to make; every copy must friends, for their perusal ;) making love and taking be sent, as I am about to amend them, and you shall physic. The last two amusements have not had soon behold them in all their glory. I hope you the best effect in the world; for my attentions have have kept them from that Upas tree, that antidote been divided among so many fair damsels, and the to the arts, Mrs. B. Entre nous,-you may expect drugs I swallow are of such variety in their compoto see me soon. Adieu. Yours ever." LETTER VIII. TO MISS PIGOT. "MY DEAR BRIDGET, "I have only just dismounted from my Pegasus, which has prevented me from descending to plain prose in an epistle of greater length to your fair self. You regretted in a former letter, that my poems were not more extensive; I now for your satisfaction announce that I have nearly doubled them, partly by the discovery of some I conceived to be fost, and partly by some new productions. We shall meet on Wednesday next; till then, believe me yours affectionately, "BYRON. have sitions, that between Venus and Esculapius I am LETTER X. TO MR. PIGOT. "BYRON." With this "Southwell, Jan. 13, 1807. "I ought to begin with sundry apologies, for my own negligence, but the variety of my avocations in prose and verse must plead my excuse. "P. S. Your brother John is seized with a poetic epistle you will receive a volume of all my Juvenilia mania, and is now rhyming away at the rate of published since your departure: it is of considerathree lines per hour-so much for inspiration! bly greater size than the copy in your possession, Adieu!" LETTER IX. TO THE EARL OF CLARE. "Southwell, Notts, February 6th, 1807. * which 1 beg you will destroy, as the present is much more complete. That unlucky poem to my poor Mary+ has been the cause of some animadversion from ladies in years. I have not printed it in this collection, in consequence of my being pronounced a most profligate sinner, in short, a 'a young Moore,' by friend. I believe in -, your general they have been favorably received, and surely the age of their author will preclude severe criticism. The adventures of my life from sixteen to nineteen, and the dissipation into which I have "MY DEAREST CLARE, been thrown in London, have given a voluptuous "Were I to make all the apologies necessary to tint to my ideas, but the occasions which called forth atone for my late negligence, you would justly say my muse could hardly admit any other coloring. you had received a petition instead of a letter, as it This volume is vastly correct and miraculously would be filled with prayers for forgiveness; but in- chaste. Apropos, talking of love, # stead of this, I will acknowledge my sins at once, "If you can find leisure to answer this farrago of and I trust to your friendship and generosity rather unconnected nonsense, you need not doubt what than to my own excuses. Though my health is not gratification will accrue from your reply to yours perfectly reestablished, I am out of all danger, ever, &c." and have recovered everything but my spirits, which are subject to depression. You will be astonished to hear I have lately written to Delawarre, In a suit undertaken for the recovery of the Rochdale property. His valet, Frank. The "Mary "here mentioned was not the heiress of Annesrey, nor the "Mary" of Aberdeen. The verses in the Hours of Idleness, entitled, "Ta Mary, on receiving her picture," were addressed to her. LETTER XI. TO MR. WILLIAM BANKES. "DEAR BANKES, "Southwell, March 6, 1807. beings I ever loved, (females excepted :) I am therefore a solitary animal, miserable enough, and so perfectly a citizen of the world, that whether I pass my days in Great Britain or Kamschatka is to me a matter of perfect indifference. I cannot evince greater respect for your alteration than by immedi"Your critique is valuable for many reasons: ately adopting it-this shall be done in the next in the first place, it is the only one in which flattery edition. I am sorry your remarks are not more frehas borne so slight a part; in the next, I am cloyed quent, as I am certain they would be equally benewith insipid compliments. I have a better opinion ficial. Since my last I have received two critical of your judgment and ability than your feelings. opinions from Edinburgh, both too flattering for me Accept my most sincere thanks for your kind de- to detail. One is from Lord Woodhouslee, at the cision, not less welcome, because totally unex- head of the Scotch literati, and a most voluminous pected. With regard to a more exact estimate, I writer, (his last work is a life of Lord Kaimes ;) the need not remind you how few of the best poems, in other from Mackenzie, who sent his decision a secour language, will stand the test of minute or verbal ond time, more at length. I am not personally criticism; it can therefore hardly be expected the acquainted with either of these gentlemen, nor ever effusions of a boy, (and most of these pieces have requested their sentiments on the subject: their been produced at an early period,) can derive much praise is voluntary, and transmitted through the merit either from the subject or composition. Many medium of a friend, at whose house they read the of them were written under great depression of productions. spirits, and during severe indisposition; hence the "Contrary to my former intention, I am now gloomy turn of the ideas. We coincide in opinion preparing a volume for the public at large; my that the poesies érotiques' are the most exception- amatory pieces will be exchanged, and others substiable; they were however, grateful to the deities on tuted in their place. The whole will be considerably whose altars they were offered-more I seek not. enlarged, and appear the latter end of May This "The portrait of Pomposust was drawn at Har- is a hazardous experiment; but want of better emrow, after a long sitting; this accounts for the re-ployment, the encouragement I have met with, and semblance, or rather the caricatura. He is your my own vanity, induce me to stand the test, though friend, he never was mine-for both our sakes I not without sundry palpitations. The book will shall be silent on this head. The collegiate rhymes circulate fast enough in this country, from mere are not personal; one of the notes may appear so, curiosity, what I prin but could not be omitted. I have little doubt they will be deservedly abused; a just punishment for my unfilial treatment of so excellent an Alma Mater. I sent you no copy, lest we should be placed in the situation of Gil Blas and the Archbishop of Grenada: though running some hazard from the experiment, I wished your verdict to be unbiassed. Had my Libellus' been presented previous to your letter, it would have appeared a species of bribe to purchase compliment. I feel no hesitation in say-«SIR, ing, was more anxious to hear your critique, however severe, than the praises of the million. On the same day I was honored with the enconiums of Mackenzie, the celebrated author of the Man of Feeling. Whether his approbation or yours elated me most, I cannot decide. · LETTER XIII. TO MR. FALKNER. "The volume of little pieces which accompanies this, would have been presented before, had I not been apprehensive that Miss Falkner's indisposition might render such trifles unwelcome. There are some errors of the printer which I have not had with all its imperfections on its head,' a heavy time to correct in the collection: you have it thus, weight, when joined with the faults of its author. Such Juvenilia,' as they can claim no great degree of approbation, I may venture to hope, will also escape the severity of uncalled for, though perhaps not undeserved, criticism. "You will receive my Juvenilia, at least all yet published. I have a large volume in manuscript, which may in part appear hereafter; at present have neither time nor inclination to prepare it for the press. In the spring I shall return to Trinity, to dismantle my rooms, and bid you a final adieu. The Cam will not be much increased by my tears on the occasion. Your father remarks, however, caustic or "They were written on many and various occabitter to a palate vitiated with the sweets of adula-sions, and are now published merely for the perusal tion, will be of service. Johnson has shown us of a friendly circle. Believe me, sir, if they afford that no poetry is perfect; but to correct mine would the slightest amusement to yourself and the rest of be an Herculean labor. In fact I never looked be- my social readers, I shall have gathered all the bays yond the moment of composition, and published I ever wish to adorn the head of "Yours, very truly, "BYRON. merely at the request of my friends. Notwithstanding so much has been said concerning the 'Genus irritabile vatum,' we shall never quarrel on the subject. Poetic fame is by no means the 'acme' of my wishes. Adieu. "Yours ever, "P. S. I hope Miss F. is in a state of recovery." "BYRON." you arrive at this d-d place, where I am detained two years younger than myself. I found him growr. by the publication of my rhymes. "Adieu.-Believe me yours very truly, "P. S. Since we met, I have reduced myself by violent exercise, much physic, and hot bathing, from fourteen stone six lb. to twelve stone seven lb. In all I have lost twenty-seven pounds. Bravo!-what say you?" LETTER XV. TO MISS PIGOT. "DEAR QUEEN BESS, "June 11, 1807. considerably, and, as you will suppose, very glad to see his former Patron. He is nearly my height, very thin, very fair complexion, dark eyes, and light I hope I shall never have occasion to change it. locks. My opinion of his mind you already know, Every body here conceives me to be an invalid fêtes of divers kinds. I supped out last night, but The university at present is very gay, from the eat (or ate) nothing, sipped a bottle of claret, went to bed at two and rose at eight. I have commenced early rising, and find it agrees with me. The Masters and the Fellows all very polite, but look a little askance-don't much admire lampoons-truth always disagreeable. Write, and tell me how the inhabitants of your menagerie go on, and if my publication goes off well: do the quadrupeds growl? Apropos, my bull "Savage ought to be immortal-though not a dog is deceased-Flesh both of cur and man is thorough-bred bull-dog, he is the finest puppy I ever grass.' Address your answer to Cambridge. If I saw, and will answer much better; in his great and am gone, it will be forwarded. Sad news just manifold kindness he has already bitten my fingers, arrived-Russians beat-a bad set, eat nothing but and disturbed the gravity of old Boatswain, who is oil, consequently must melt before a hard fire. I grievously discomposed. I wish to be informed what get awkward in my academic habiliments for want he costs, his expenses, &c., &c., that I may indemnify of practice. Got up in a window to hear the oratoMy thanks are all I can give for the rio at St. Mary's, popped down in the middle of the trouble he has taken, make a long speech and con- Messiah, tore a woful rent in the back of my best clude it with 1234567.* I am out of practice, of breeches. Mem.-never tumble from a church black silk gown, and damaged an egregious pair so deputize you as Legate,-ambassador would not do in a matter concerning the Pope, which I pre-remember me to any body:-to forget and be forgotwindow during service. Adieu, dear ****! do not ten by the people of Southwell is all I aspire to." Mr. G sume this must, as the whole turns upon a Bull. • CL Yours, TO MISS PIGOT. "Since my last letter I have determined to reside "Cambridge, June 30, 1807. another year at Granta, as my rooms, &c., &c., are "Better late than never, Pal,' is a saying of finished in great style, several old friends come up which you know the origin, and as it is applicable on again, and many new acquaintances made; conthe present occasion, you will excuse its conspic-sequently, my inclination leads me forward, and I uous place in the front of my epistle. I am almost shall return to college in October, if still alive. My superannuated here. My old friends, (with the life here has been one continued routine of dissipation-out at different places every day, engaged to exception of a very few,) all departed, and I am preparing to follow them, but remain till Monday to more dinners, &c., &c., than my stay would permit be present at three Oratorios, two Concerts, a Fair, me to fulfil. At this moment I write with a bottle and a Ball. I find I am not only thinner, but taller of claret in my head, and tears in my eyes; for I by an inch since my last visit. I was obliged to tell have just parted from my Cornelian,' who spent As it was our last interview, every body my name, nobody having the least recol- the evening with me. lection of my visage or person. Even the hero of I postponed my engagement to devote the hours my Cornelian,t (who is now sitting vis-a-vis, read-of the Sabbath to friendship :-Edleston and I have ing a volume of my Poetics,) passed me in Trinity separated for the present, and my mind is a chaos walks without recognising me in the least, and was of hope and sorrow. thunderstruck at the alteration which had taken London: you will address your answer to 'Gordon's place in my countenance, &c., &c. Some say I Hotel, Albemarle street,' where I sojourn during my look better, others worse, but all agree I am thinner visit to the metropolis. for ever. To-morrow I set out for -more I do not require. I have lost two pounds in "I rejoice to hear you are interested in my my weight since I left our cursed, detestable and protege: he has been my almost constant associate abhorred abode of scandal, where, excepting your- His voice first attracted my attention, his countesince October, 1805, when I entered Trinity College. self and John Becher, I care not if the whole race were consigned to the Pit of Acheron, which Inance fixed it, and his manners attached me to him would visit in person rather than contaminate my He departs for a mercantile house in town sandals with the polluted dust of Southwell. Seri- in October, and we shall probably not meet till the ously, unless obliged by the emptiness of my purse his decision either entering as a partner through expiration of my minority, when I shall leave to to revisit Mrs. B., you will see me no more. "On Monday I depart for London. I quit Cambridge with little regret, because our set are vanished, and my musical protege before mentioned has left the choir, and is stationed in a mercantile house of considerable eminence in the metropolis. You may have heard me observe he is exactly, to an hour, • He here alludes to an odd fancy or trick of his own: whenever he was at a loss for something to say, he used to gabble over "1 2 3 4 5 6 7." † Mr. Edlestou. See the lines "to E." Hours of Idleness, page 415; and "The Cornelian." Hours of Idleness, page 417. my interest, or residing with me altogether. Of In |