THE PIC-NIC ON BROWN'S WEDDING

J. E. CARPENTER.]

DAY.

[Tune-"Gooseberry Wine,

IT was, I declare, quite a beautiful morning!

All Nature seemed robed in her brightest array, All sunshine and flowers, no storm-clouds or showers To lessen our hopes when we started away. I wore my new cloak, 'twas the last Paris fashion, With that slip of a bonnet I bought at the west, The first time I wore it-how Charles did adore it He liked me before-but 'twas that did the rest. 'Twas on Brown's invitation, we went to the station To go by the railway a part of the way,

Our only employment the thorough enjoyment

Of the Pic-nic got up upon Brown's Wedding-day.

A party of pleasure I always delight in,

Where rural felicity's sure to be found;

Such fun beyond measure-I do love the pleasure
Of eating a dinner that's spread on the ground.
We were ready to start-but delayed by Brown's
party-

At last they came-Brown employed dragging a chay;

Such, insists the Browns' pater, is their perambulator; They might make the children walk once in a way. But on Brown's invitation, &c.

Five boys and three girls, Mrs. B., and the servant,
And only pay half the expenses indeed!

They've got such a many, though I haven't any-
But since it is settled 'tis folly to plead.

As to Charles and myself, we'd have gone out to gether,

And not have incurred such a useless expense; Mrs. Brown with her coaxing, was certainly hoaxing, We'll not go with her more, on any pretence!

But on Brown's invitation, &c.

I was vexed, but they certainly could not discover
That aught had occurred to occasion me pain;
There was Charles looking black—not a bit like a lover,
It thundered! oh dear! it seemed going to rain.
My bonnet-my dress! but the sun then returning,
To gladden our hearts and enliven the scene;
Away with repining, this place we can dine in,
So spread the provisions and cloth on the green.
Since on Brown's invitation, &c.

Ham and chickens-the latter of Mrs. Brown's breeding

(Like her be it known they were very ill-bred),

Some tongue and cold pheasant, and all that is pleasant Are presently over the table (cloths) spread.

Good gracious! look there now! help! murder! confusion!

That horrible bull-see he's coming this way, All over the dinner-oh! here's a beginner,

While Charles coolly says, "It's as good as a play!" On Brown's invitation, no more to the station, A pic-nicking I'll be persuaded to stray; It may be employment-but only annoyment Did I find the pic-nic on Brown's Wedding-day. We all left the fields, for our pleasure was over, The dinner was spoiled, so 'twas useless to stay ; I wished I had never come out, but if ever

I do so again-may it rain all the day.

All the dishes were broken, if some one had spoken,
The brute would have taken a different course;
And Charles, 'stead of running-he should have beer
stunning
Or driving the brute from our party by force.
On Brown's invitation no more, &c.

Charles talks about being a gallant defender,
'Tis all very well out of danger to boast,
But put to the shift he's a sorry pretender-
I really believe he was frightened the most!

In spite of his laughing and untimely joking,

He own'd it himself, "He was all up a tree;" While Mrs. Brown said, and her way's so provoking, "Ah! that's just the way that Brown looks after me."

On Brown's invitation no more, &c.

J. BRUTON.]

A FAT MAN IN LOVE.

[Air-"Granny Snow."

THIS life it seems, is all extremes,
Uncertain, vain, and brittle:

Though a great man I was meant to be
From the time that I was little.
'Twixt then and now, 'twas odd, I vow,
For fortune seem'd to frown:
In youth 'twas how to bring me up,
In age to bring me down!

CHORUS.

Through life there's lots of woeful things,
But all far, far above-
Like fat Jack Falstaff in the play
Is a great fat man in love!

When but a brat I was all fat,
And I wish I may die, sir,
If I wasn't what the urchins call
Who marbles play a "twicer !"
Obese I was and that is poz!
And though not used to cram,
At length I rose by low degrees,
To the load o' grease I am!

Through life, &c.

I grinned and grumbled day by day,
Till my weight was tremendous!
A walking fat-pan on two legs-
In short I looked stew-pan-dious.

I like a snow-ball gathering went
In muscle, flesh, and bone :
Fate seem'd to mean me for a house
By heaping stone on stone !

On Sunday, if in church time I
But ask for drink, they quiz--
Say, "he's no traveller boney-fied
Though meaty-fied he is!"
And then when I walk up a hill
I'm like a tradesman duffing:
For that I cannot hope to rise
Unless it is by "puffing!"

Once Cupid's dart attack'd my heart,
And then all joy did cease;
By him I was a little bit,

But got no little peace!

"Love grew by what it fed on," for
The truth was quickly shown,
That all who did perceive my sighs
Also perceived me groan !

I loved a girl who Rose was called,
But ah! her faith was brittle,
Instead of making much of me

She soon made me look little ! "Fair Rose, lean kind unto my suit," Said I, when I did woo!

Said she, in fun, "I don't find one
Of Pharaoh's lean kine in you!"

Said I, "I mean to change my lot;"
Said she, "You ought, I guess :"
So Oliver, I unlike-for 'more'
Still asking kept for less!
In fat I waited till she said,
"Infati-wated bore!"

And then she saw me less and less
As she saw me more and more!

My person, like a target round,
Got all shafts wit might throw:
Like some huge giant in a booth,

I'm a substance and-a show!
And mark! I think if any man
Just for a lark would whip
A cotton in me, and set light-
I should burn out like a dip!

GRUMPY JACK BROWN.

J. E. CARPENTER.]

[Tune-" Gee ho! Dobbin."

HAVE you heard the story of grumpy Jack Brown,
The crossest old bachelor known in our town?
He was rich as a Jew, but as rude as a bear,
He kept what he got and let none have a share.
Grumpy Jack Brown,
Of stingy renown,

The crossest old bachelor known in our town!

Jack fond was of horses-the reason is plain,
Dear woman's affections he never could gain ;
At last he succeeded Miss Moses to catch,
And the people all said he'd in her find his match.
Grumpy Jack Brown, &c.

Jack being too stingy a feast to supply,
Persuaded Miss Moses at night time to fly ;
He brought his own horses to save a post-chay,
And one morn ere 'twas daylight the pair rode away.
Grumpy Jack Brown,

Of stingy renown,

With the wealthy Miss Moses rode out of the town. As they rode side by side, said Miss Moses, "Now, mind,

Will you make a good husband, and always be kind?” Now Jack, who, as usual, his temper had got,

Said, "Well, perhaps I shall, Miss-perhaps I shall

not."

Grumpy Jack Brown, &c.