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The undying and the doom'd may whine,
Yet find their woes outdone;
The uninvited one ?
HIS WORSHIP. CHARLES DIBDIN.]
[Music by DIBDIN. His worship, Justice Gander, sworn new'y of the peace,
Resolved to set the neighbours together by the ears, Of the half-crowns and the shillings their pockets well
to fleece, Regardless of the public, their praises or their sneers. Master Matthew was his clerk, a keen and cunning
wight, Studied Cunningham and Burn, for the law has
various meanings : “ Remember,” cried his worship, “ when I'm wrong to
set me right, For you're my representative, factotum, locum
Fomenting litigation, the neighbours flock around;
One came to get a warrant-a shilling was the cost; “Here, Matthew, bring the book.” Sir, 'tis no
where to be found.” " Zounds ! he'll repent—what shall we do? the shil
ling will be lost. Swear, damme ! and pay sixpence-I fancy that's the
rule; Those who can't get the barvest must sit down with
the gleanings; How could you be so careless ? You dolt ! you stupid
fool!" " Your worship’s representative, factotum, locum A rich lady 'gainst a helpless girl most loudly did com
plain ; “Here, Matthew, make her mittimus, ne'er mind
how she cajoles “ We must not, sir, commit her the law we cannot
strain, Ind the superior courts would haul your worship
o'er the coa!s. I could not for the soul of me distress so sweet a lass ; For justice' sake, to equity the heart should have
these leaninys." “You're not proper for your place, sir--you're a
goose, an oaf, an ass !". “Your worship’s representative, factotum, locum
tenens Next day this pretty damsel was walking in a field ; His worship pass'd by too, and began to toy and
play; “You were yesterday my prisoner-to-day to you
I yield ;" She ran fir life, while lie pursued, and begg’d of her
to stay. “Sir, is this justice? O for shame!" "'Tis justice,
lovely fair -For justice on the bench and in love has diff'rent
meavings ; Nay, struggle not “Is there no friend ? no hope ?"
“None!- Zounds! who's there?" “ Your worship’s representative, factotum, locum
teneus. “You hired me, sir, to set you right whenever you
were wrong; For once, then, justice practise, sir, since justice you
dispense: Give me this pretty damsel --we've loved each other
longAnd ne'er oppress those honest hearts that merit
Cried Gander, “ Matthew, I'm the goose, the ass, and
have been blind; I now see law and equity have very diff'rent mean.
inys; Henceforth the poor shall bless me; and may each
great man find As able, as upright, and as just a locum tenens."
TWO WENCHES AT ONCE. Taoxas Hudson.)
[Tune—" Marzery Topi g." TILL I fell in love, I wur bappy enow, At threshing or reaping, at barr'w or plongh ; At sunrise each morn wi' the lark I wur sprin ying, And, just like the lark, I wur always a singing,
Tol de rul lol de rul laz.
Cupid, quite envious of my happy life,
The miller's young daugliter, she gave the first twis“, Her lips look'd as if like they long'd to be kiss'!; And while I gazed at her, 'twixt love and surprise, I was fairly struck dumb by her sister's bright eyes!
Mary was fair as an angel could be,
If I went to see Mary, to her I was blind,
When Betsy look'd at me, or when Mary smiled,
be advised ; if love gets in your sconce,
ground. Tol de rol de rol lol de rol lay.
THERE'S NO KNOWING WHAT YOU
MAY COME TO. J. LABERN.]
[Tune—“Charlie over the Water." If ever misfortune 'gainst man did combine,
That man he to-night stands before you, Who's lost all his cash in the “Diddlesex” Line,
I hope that his troubles wont bore you. To double my five thousand pounds how I thought,
But they gave mine the double like fun, too; I've leen liunted hy stags, and paid dear for the sportThere's no knowing what you may come to. You may turn up your nose at hard work, and
declare It's what you would never succumb to ; Tho'you're rolling in riches at present, beware,
There's no knowing what you may come to. When I think how my cash, that for years twenty
nine, I'd been scraping should, presto! elope, sirs, I rail at myself being drawn in a line,
And wish myseli diawn in a rope, sirs.
Once I'd a house and all else to accord,
And annually spent a round sun, too ;
You may turn, &c. The parties I used to give, week after week,
To the Popkins, the Pipkins, and Prices : What a tale might be told, if the tables could speak,
Of wiņes, jellies, and custards, and ices.
Are the ices I meet now, so glum, too--
You may turn, &c. With poultry my table did once groan and growl
For the loss of it I could put crape on-
Of a policeman now with a cape on.
But that 'ere game must I say mum to;
You may turn, &c. With sirloins of beef once my larder was packed,
And fore quarters of lamb, by-the-bye, sirsThe hooks still remain-a lamentable fact
But the joints are, alas! all my eye, sirs.
Or stubborn beef-steaks put my gum to;
You may tnrn, &c. So what with my crosses, and losses, and strife,
I think it's enough to perplex one: Moore observes in his song, "They may rail at this life;"
I hope they've no rails in the next one.