A man who married sixteen wives, for Poly-gamy's arrested; A boy has swallow'd nine clasp knives, and all of them digested; A cat has hatch'd young ducklings two, each one frisks and capers; They're both alive-it must be true, because 'tis in the papers. A lady, o'er fond of a glass (you must not think it fustian), Has met her death so sad, alas! by brandy's hot corabustion; It burnt her vitals thro' and thro', she melted into vapours, And ne'er seen since-it must be true, because 'tis in the papers. A lady in the South of France, who'd been some five years married, Was taken in a sort of trance, and coffin'd down and buried, In six months' time she came to life, and from the grave's sad vapours She walk'd away-it must be true, because 'tis in the papers. A man, last week, down in the west, inclined to be a glutton, He ate near half a bullock dress'd, and six raw legs of mutton Drank porter, gallons twenty-two, which washed down all the capers, In just an hour-it must be true, because 'twas in the papers. Sweet Miss A., of ninety-eight, with Mr. B., of eighty, Have enter'd holy wedlock's state, with both their purses weighty; A son's already come to view, at which the old man capers, Depend upon't, it must be true, because 'tis in the papers. Some fishermen have lately seen, as lately they were roaming, Four mermaids, handsome, sweet, and clean, their hair so tidy combing ; They let them have a nearer view, to see their frisks and capers, Then they dived-it must be true, because 'tis in the papers. Thus every day, nay, every hour, shows p'ainly what the news is, And whether it be sweet or sour, informs us and amuses; Then let us give our best thanks to those who tell their capers, And ev'ry day so thankful view the facts in all the papers. THE OULD BOG HOLE. THE pig is in the mire, and the cow is on the grass, And sweet Judy Flanagan I'd die for her sake. 66 Then Judy she blushed, and hung down her head, Saying, Barney, you blackguard, I'd like to get wed; But they say you're so rough, and you are such a rake" "Don't believe it," says I, "for it's a l a mistake; Singing, Cushla mavourneen, &c. "Arrah, give me your hand, and consent just at once, Sure it's not every day you will get such a chance; When the priest makes us one, how happy I'll be With the beautiful, dutiful, Mistress Magee! Tho' the meal should be scarce we'll have praties enough, And if you should long for more delicate stuff, I'll take out the ould rod which my grandfather stole, And I'll go fish for eels in the ould Bog Hole. Singing, Cushla mavourneen, &c. "Fine children we'll have, for we must mind that, How the neighbours will stare when we go for a "By the hokey !" says she, "I can scarcely refuse, If I thought I could trust you, the job might be done!" "Holy murder !" says I, "do you doubt what I say? If I thought 'twould convince you, I'd sware half a day;" "Oh no," she replied, "it's of no use at all," Then she whispered consent by the ouli Bog Hols, "Then give me a kiss, my joy and delight!" "Be aisy you blackguard, until it's all right; Sure, after we're wed, we may kiss and condole, And fish for the eels in the culd Bog Hole." YES, KIND SIR, AND THANK YOU THE ruddy morn blink'd o'er the brae, 66 'Twas, Yes, kind sir, and I thank you too." Again he met me i' the e'en, As I was linkan o'er the lee, To join the dance upon the green, And said, "Blithe lass, I'se gang wi' thee." My heart straight whisper'd in my ear, Say yes, kind sir, and I thank you too." We danced until the gleaming moon Yes, kind sir, and I thank you too." Grown bauld, he pressed to stay the night, "Twill be, 'Yes, love, and I thank you too."" FAITH, I'LL AWA' TO THE BRIDAL. [Air-" Hie awa' to the Bridal."-PLANCHE.] For there will be tippling there; So, faith, I'll awa' to the bridal, &c. I once left the bottle for Cupid, I simpered and sighed, and looked stupid, For sorrowing made me so dry, that I So, faith, I'll awa' to the bridal, &c. They say there's five reasors for drinking, |