Towards the group I groped my way,
When by the moon's celestial ray,
I spied Will Shakspeare spouting away
In Madame Tussaud's Exhibition.
Says Will, I'm sack'd from Drury Lane-
Illegitimates they maintain-
For legs and lungs they're in the vein,
Few actors now for me they train.
Says Paganini-ah, ah-it's clear
Music's de food of love, my dear-
I believe we can scrape a living there,
Cries Pag, in the Wax Exhibition,
Believe, &c.
Says Bonaparte-I must complain,
When a hop o' my thumb, without a brain,
Dare take an Emperor's name in vain,
It's too much of an Exhibition.
Says Tommy Thumb-As well as you,
I've taken towns by storm a few ;
And sovereigns in plenty, too,
Though I never kill'd any one, 'tis true.
Cries Wellington-Go it, Tom-show fight,
Why he's not everybody quite,
I lick'd him once, down straight and upright, Cried the Duke, in the Wax Exhibition.
Says Nelson-Damme, this I know,
My lofty pillar sinks me low,
It's base to leave my basement so,
I'm a pitiful Exhibition.
Says Croinwell-Mate, come, you sing small,
'Cause I'm a Commoner-(there's a stall)-
The Lords have thrown me over the wall,
So I ar'n't got no statty at all.
Says Father Mathew-I shall no doubt,
Have one for pushing the 7. trade about.
Yes-atop of a pump or a water spout—
Cries Hume, in the Wax Exhibition.
The war of tongues grew loud and warm,
When Sir Robert Peel began to storm,
For Cobden trod upon his corn,
In Madame Tussaud's Exhibition.
Says Cobden-Man, I tell you plain,
The only way to ease your pain,
Cut it if it's such a bane,
And goes so much against the grain.
Says Peel-I really would if I could,
But the danger's great be it understood-
Perhaps injure myself for life I should,
And there'd be an exhibition.
Lord John eyed Peel with vast conceit-
Says he-You rook'd me out complete,
Of that situation in Downing-steet,
And that was my greatest ambition.
Says Bob-Here's compensation, my boy.
Keep it, says John, I'm rather coy,
Though out of my mouth (which did annoy)
You took the bread, so I wish you joy.
Stop a bit, Johnny, don't talk so base,
You know you're not strong enough for the place-
Said Peel, right bang in Russell's face,
At Madame Tussaud's Exhibition.
Because he's out of luck, says Dan,
You want to crow over the little man,
But talk away, John, as free as you can,
Cried Dan in the Wax Exhibition.
Says Peel, I thought I'd quieted you
With a tidy sum-Och, says Dan, in a stew
Take back your dirty money do,
And then commenced a fillilloo.
At last Peel-(mind it wasn't right)-
Call'd Dan the real potato blight.
At this Dan stripp'd and straight show'd fight,
In Madame Tussaud's Exhibition.
A ring was form'd by the waxy mob,
Justice to Ireland, says Dan to Bob,
As he tried to get at the Premier's nob,
In Madame Tussaud's Exhibition.
Peel bobb'd his nob with an artful grace,
The blow caught Arthur in the face,
When the doors flew open wide apace,
'Twas the servants coming to dust the place.
Into the street like mad I packs,
But shall never forget the cuffs and cracks,
And th' impressions made by these Lads of wax,
In Madame Tussaud's Exhibition.
{Tune the
Cannibal Islands."
"TWAS at the time from slavery,
That men of colour were set free
By mighty Huggermuggerree,
The King of Otaheite.
The ladies, all at once, complain'd
That they alone were kept enchain'd,
And begg'd to have the right of shares,
In managing the state affairs:
They sent a petition two miles long,
Presented by Humparley bong,
A great reformer, right or wrong,
In the senate of Otaheite.
Smilery, dimplery, ogleum, squa',
Scratcherycat et Clapperyclaw,
Chit-chit-chat et Tonguerywa',
The ladies of Otaheite.
Now, when the senate did discuss
The ladies' prayer, a deal of fuss,
Like bursting of a blunderbuss,
It caused in Otaheite,
A breach of privilege some did see
In women praying to be free;
But when brought to the vote, d'ye see,
The ladies got a majority;
For all the husbands there did state
That they at home no peace should get,
Unless they did emancipate
The ladies of Otaheite.
Elected members of the state,
About abuses they did prate,
And soon began to legislate,
The ladies of Ŏtaheite.
Their very first session they began
To lop the o'ergrown pow'r of man;
In vain the wisemen did oppose,
The ladies did just as they chose.
All orators to them were small,
The speaker could not speak at all,
The ladies far out-talk'd them all,
In the senate of Otaheite.
Smilery, dimplery, &c.
The dames who were for members chose,
Were all tattoo'd and wore no shoes
Nor stockings, but were call'd the blues
By the senate of Otaheite.
And now, protected by the house,
They scandalized each naughty spouse;
The husbands there had not a chance,
For all the ladies spoke at once.
However ev'ry blue M.P.
Soon gain'd great popularity,
By voting the duty off of tea,
In the senate of Otaheite.
Smilery, dimplery, &c.
The Ministers soon got in disgrace—-
The Premier did resign his place;
The Chancellor then gave up his mace
To the ladies of Otaheite.
Who from themselves soon chose a set-
The Countess Taxy waxygreat,
Who had experience in her pate,
Was made Prime Minister of State.
The Dowager Duchess of Macaw,
Who wore a wig and knew the law,
Was Chancellor made, with great éclat,
By the ladies of Otaheite.
Smilery, dimplery, &c.
But, ah! ere long I must confess,
They brought the State in great distress,
They spent the revenue in dress,
The ladies of Otaheite.
Look glum did each wiseacre chief,
And for nine moons they sat in grief;
But they, to make my story brief,
Did shortly after get relief:
For suddenly the married squaws
Left Parliament, and making laws,
To nurse young pickaninnies' paws,
At home in Otaheite.
Some bold reformers then arose,
And got a majority in the house,
And of their pow'r they soon did chouso
The ladies of Otaheite.
Of government they split the cares-
The management of foreign affairs
The men preserved, but told their dears
The home department should be theirs.
The ladies didn't object at all,
They got their long clothes all made small,
And now at home they govern all
The men of Otaheite.
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