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to give him two-pence. If it be starving is something more in these sympathies weather, and to the proper troubles of than philosophy can inculcate. his hard occupation, a pair of kibed heels Now albeit Mr. Read boasteth, not (no unusual accompaniment) be super- without reason, that his is the only added, the demand on thy humanity will Salopian house; yet be it known to thee, surely rise to a tester.
reader-if thou art one who keepest (110 There is a composition, the ground what are called good hours, thou art work of which I have understood to be haply ignorant of the fact—he hath a the sweet wood 'yclept sassafras. This race of industrious imitators, who from wood boiled down to a kind of tea, and [60 stalls, and under open sky, dispense the tempered with an infusion of milk and same savory mess to humbler customers, sugar, hath to some tastes a delicacy at that dead time of the dawn, when beyond the China luxury. I know not (as extremes meet) the rake, reeling home how thy palate may relish it; for myself, from his midnight cups, and the hardwith every deference to the judicious handed artisan leaving his bed to resume Mr. Read, who hath time out of mind the premature labors of the day, (120 kept open a shop (the only one he avers jostle, not unfrequently to the manifest in London) for the vending of this “whole- disconcerting of the former, for the honors some and pleasant beverage,” on the south of the pavement. It is the time when, in side of Fleet Street, as thou approach- 170 summer, between the expired and the not est Bridge Street-the only Salopian house, yet relumined kitchen-fires, the kennels -I have never yet ventured to dip my of our fair metropolis give forth their own particular lip in a basin of his com- least satisfactory odors. The rake, who mended ingredients-a cautious premoni- wisheth to dissipate his o'er-night vapors tion to the olfactories constantly whis- in more grateful coffee, curses the ungenial pering to me, that my stomach must fume, as he passeth; but the artisan (130 infallibly, with all due courtesy, decline stops to taste, and blesses the fragrant it. Yet I have seen palates, otherwise breakfast. not uninstructed in dietetical elegances, This is Saloop—the precocious herbsup it up with avidity.
(80 woman's darling--the delight of the early I know not by what particular confor- gardener, who transports his smoking mation of the organ it happens, but I cabbages by break of day from Hammerhave always found that this composition smith to Covent Garden's famed piazzasis surprisingly gratifying to the palate the delight, and, oh I fear, too often the of a young chimney-sweeper-whether envy, of the unpennied sweep. Him the oily particles (sassafras is slightly shouldest thou haply encounter, with (140 oleaginous) do attenuate and soften the his dim visage pendent over the grateful fuliginous concretions, which are some- steam, regale him with a sumptuous basin times found (in dissections) to adhere it will cost thee but three half-pennies) to the roof of the mouth in these un- (90 and a slice of delicate bread and butter fledged practitioners; or whether Nature, (an added halfpenny)-so may thy culinsensible that she had mingled too much of ary fires, eased of the o'er-charged secrebitter wood in the lot of these raw victims, tions from thy worse-placed hospitalities, caused to grow out of the earth her sassa- curl up a lighter volume to the welkinfras for a sweet lenitive—but so it is, that so may the descending soot never taint no possible taste or odor to the senses of a thy costly well-ingredienced soups- (150 young chimney-sweeper can convey a nor the odious cry, quick-reaching from delicate excitement comparable to this street to street, of the fired chimney, inmixture. Being penniless, they will yet vite the rattling engines from ten adjacent hang their black heads over the as- (100 parishes, to disturb for a casual scintillacending steam, to gratify one sense if pos- tion thy peace and pocket! sible, seemingly no less pleased than those I am by nature extremely susceptible domestic animals-cats-when they purr of street affronts; the jeers and taunts of over a new-found sprig of valerian. There the populace; the low-bred triumph they
display over the casual trip, or splashed hint of nobility:-and, doubtless, under stocking, of a gentleman. Yet can I (160 the obscuring darkness and double night endure the jocularity of a young sweep of their forlorn disguisement, oftentimes with something more than forgiveness.- lurketh good blood, and gentle conditions, In the last winter but one, pacing along derived from lost ancestry, and a lapsed Cheapside with my accustomed precipi- pedigree. The premature apprenticetation when I walk westward, a treacher- ments of these tender victims give but ous slide brought me upon my back in an too much encouragement, I fear, to instant. I scrambled up with pain and clandestine, and almost infantile ab- (220 shame enough-yet outwardly trying to ductions; the seeds of civility and true face it down, as if nothing had happened- courtesy, so often discernible in these when the roguish grin of one of these (170 young grafts (not otherwise to be acyoung wits encountered me. There he counted for) plainly hint at some forced stood, pointing me out with his dusky adoptions; many noble Rachels mournfinger to the mob, and to a poor woman ing for their children, even in our days, (I suppose his mother) in particular, till countenance the fact; the tales of fairythe tears for the exquisiteness of the fun spiriting may shadow a lamentable verity, (so he thought it) worked themselves out and the recovery of the young Montagu at the corners of his poor red eyes, red be but a solitary instance of good for- (230 from many a previous weeping, and soot- tune, out of many irreparable and hopeinflamed, yet twinkling through all with less defiliations. such a joy, snatched out of desolation, (180 In one of the state-beds at Arundel that Hogarth—but Hogarth has got him Castle, a few years since—under a ducal already (how could he miss him?) in the canopy-(that seat of the Howards is an March to Finchley, grinning at the pie- object of curiosity to visitors, chiefly for man—there he stood, as he stands in the its beds, in which the late duke was picture, irremovable, as if the jest was to pecially a connoisseur)-encircled with last for ever--with such a maximum of curtains of delicatest crimson, with starry glee, and minimum of mischief, in his mirth coronets inwoven-folded between a (240 --for the grin of a genuine sweep hath ab pair of sheets whiter and softer than the solutely no malice in it—that I could have lap where Venus lulled Ascanius-was been content, if the honor of a gentle- (190 discovered by chance, after all methods man might endure it, to have remained of search had failed, at noon-day, fast his butt and his mockery till midnight. asleep, a lost chimney sweeper. The
I am by theory obdurate to the seduc- little creature, having somehow contiveness of what are called a fine set of founded his passage among the intricacies teeth. Every pair of rosy lips (the ladies of those lordly chimneys, by some unmust pardon me) is a casket, presumably known aperture had alighted upon this holding such jewels; but, methinks, they magnificent chamber; and, tired with (250 should take leave to “air" them as fru- his tedious explorations, was unable to gally as possible. The fine lady, or fine resist the delicious invitement to repose, gentleman, who show me their teeth, [200 which he there saw exhibited; so, creeping show me bones. Yet must I confess, between the sheets very quietly, laid his that from the mouth of a true sweep a black head upon the pillow, and slept display (even to ostentation) of those like a young Howard. white and shining ossifications, strikes me Such is the account given to the visitors as an agreeable anomaly in manners, and at the Castle. --But I cannot help seeming an allowable piece of foppery. It is, as to perceive a confirmation of what I have when
just hinted at in this story. A high (260 “A sable cloud
instinct was at work in the case, or I am Turns forth her silver lining on the night." mistaken. Is it probable that a poor child
of that description, with whatever weariIt is like some remnant of gentry not (210 ness he might be visited, would have quite extinct; a badge of better days; a ventured, under such a penalty, as he would be taught to expect, to uncover the remote enough not to be obvious to [320 sheets of a Duke's bed, and deliberately the interruption of every gaping spectator to lay himself down between them, when in it. The guests assembled about seven. the rug, or the carpet, presented an In those little temporary parlors three obvious couch, still far above his pre- [270 tables were spread with napery, not so tensions—is this probable, I would ask, fine as substantial, and at every board a if the great power of nature, which I comely hostess presided with her pan contend for, had not been manifested of hissing sausages. The nostrils of the within him, prompting to the adventure? young rogues dilated at the savor. JAMES Doubtless this young nobleman (for such White, as head waiter, had charge of the my mind misgives me that he must be) first table; and myself, with our 1330 was allured by some memory, not amount- trusty companion BIGOD, ordinarily mining to full consciousness, of his condition istered to the other two. There was in infancy, when he was used to be lapt clambering and jostling, you may be sure, by his mother, or his nurse, in just (280 who should get at the first table-for such sheets as he there found, into which Rochester in his maddest days could not he was but now creeping back as into his have done the humors of the scene with proper incunabula, and resting-place. more spirit than my friend. After some By no other theory, than by this senti- general expression of thanks for the honor ment of a pre-existent state (as I may call the company had done him, his inaugural it), can I explain a deed so venturous, and, ceremony was to clasp the greasy (340 indeed, upon any other system, so in- waist of old dame Ursula (the fattest of decorous, in this tender, but unseasonable, the three), that stood frying and fretting, sleeper.
half-blessing, half-cursing "the gentleMy pleasant friend JEM WHITE was (290 man,” and imprint upon her chaste lips so impressed with a belief of metamor- a tender salute, whereat the universal phoses like this frequently taking place, host would set up a shout that tore the that in some sort to reverse the wrongs concave, while hundreds of grinning teeth of fortune in these poor changelings, he startled the night with their brightness. instituted an annual feast of chimney- O it was a pleasure to see the sable sweepers, at which it was his pleasure to younkers lick in the unctuous meat, 1350 officiate as host and waiter.
It was a
with his more unctuous sayings-how solemn supper held in Smithfield, upon he would fit the tit-bits to the puny the yearly return of the fair of St. Barthol- mouths, reserving the lengthier links for omew. Cards were issued a week be- (300 the seniors-how he would intercept a fore to the master-sweeps in and about the morsel even in the jaws of some young metropolis, confining the invitation to desperado, declaring it “must to the pan their younger fry.
Now and then an again to be browned, for it was not fit elderly stripling would get in among us, for a gentleman's eating”-how he would and be good-naturedly winked at; but recommend this slice of white bread, or our main body were infantry. One un- that piece of kissing-crust, to a ten- [360 fortunate wight, indeed, who, relying upon der juvenile, advising them all to have a his dusky suit, had intruded himself into care of cracking their teeth, which were our party, but by tokens was providen- | their best patrimony,-how genteelly he tially discovered in time to be no [310 would deal about the small ale, as if it chimney-sweeper (all is not soot which were wine, naming the brewer, and prolooks so), was quoited out of the presence testing, if it were not good he should lose with universal indignation, as not having their custom; with a special recommendaon the wedding garment; but in general tion to wipe the lip before drinking. Then the greatest harmony prevailed. The we had our toasts—“The King,”—the place chosen was a convenient spot among “Cloth,”—which, whether they un- 1370 the pens, at the north side of the fair, not derstood or not, was equally diverting so far distant as to be impervious to the and flattering;--and for a crowning sentiagreeable hubbub of that vanity; but | ment, which never failed, “May the Brush
supersede the Laurel.” All these, and escape into a bundle of straw, which fifty other fancies, which were rather felt kindling quickly, spread the conflagration than comprehended by his guests, would over every part of their poor mansion, he utter, standing upon tables, and pref- till it was reduced to ashes. Together acing every sentiment with a “Gentle- with the cottage (a sorry antediluvian men, give me leave to propose so and make-shift of a building, you may think
,” which was a prodigious comfort (380 it), what was of much more impor- 130 to those young orphans; every now and tance, a fine litter of new-farrowed pigs, then stuffing into his mouth (for it did no less than nine in number, perished. not do to be squeamish on these occasions) China pigs have been esteemed a luxury indiscriminate pieces of those reeking all over the East from the remotest perisausages, which pleased them mightily, ods that we read of. Bo-bo was in the and was the savoriest part, you may be- utmost consternation, as you may think, lieve, of the entertainment.
not so much for the sake of the tenement, “Golden lads and lasses must,
which his father and he could easily build
up again with a few dry branches, and As chimney-sweepers, come to dust”
the labor of an hour or two, at any [40 James White is extinct, and with [390 time, as for the loss of the pigs. While him these suppers have long ceased. He he was thinking what he should say to carried away with him half the fun his father, and wringing his hands over of the world when he died of my world th
the smoking remnants of one of those at least. His old clients look for him untimely sufferers, an odor assailed his among the pens; and, missing him, nostrils, unlike any scent which he had reproach the altered feast of St. Bar- before experienced. What could it protholomew, and the glory of Smithfield ceed from?—not from the burnt cottage departed for ever.
he had smelt that smell before indeed this was by no means the first acci- 150
dent of the kind which had occurred A DISSERTATION UPON ROAST through the negligence of this unlucky PIG
young fire-brand. Much less did it re
semble that of any known herb, weed, or Mankind, says a Chinese manuscript, flower. A premonitory moistening at the which my friend M. was obliging enough same time overflowed his nether lip. He to read and explain to me, for the first knew not what to think. He next stooped seventy thousand ages ate their meat down to feel the pig, if there were any raw, clawing or biting it from the living i signs of life in it. He burnt his fingers, animal, just as they do in Abyssinia to and to cool them he applied them in (60 this day. This period is not obscurely his booby fashion to his mouth. Some hinted at by their great Confucius in of the crumbs of the scorched skin had the second chapter of his Mundane come away with his fingers, and for Mutations, where he designates a (10 the first time in his life (in the world's life kind of golden age by the term Cho-fang, indeed, for before him no man had known literally the Cook's Holiday. The manu- it) he tasted-crackling! Again he felt script goes on to say, that the art of roast- and fumbled at the pig. It did not burn ing, or rather broiling (which I take to him so much now, still he licked his be the elder brother) was accidentally fingers from a sort of habit. The truth discovered in the manner following. The at length broke into his slow under- 170 swine-herd, Ho-ti, having gone out into standing, that it was the pig that smelt so, the woods one morning, as his manner and the pig that tasted so delicious; and, was, to collect mast for his hogs, left his surrendering himself up to the newborn cottage in the care of his eldest son (20 pleasure, he fell to tearing up whole Bo-bo, a great lubberly boy, who being handfuls of the scorched skin with the fond of playing with fire, as younkers of flesh next it, and was cramming it down his age commonly are, let some sparks / his throat in his beastly fashion, when his sire entered amid the smoking rafters, the secret escape, for the neighbors would armed with retributory cudgel, and find certainly have stoned them for a couple ing how affairs stood, began to rain (80 of abominable wretches, who could think blows upon the young rogue's shoulders, of improving upon the good meat which as thick as hailstones, which Bo-bo God had sent them. Nevertheless, strange heeded not any more than if they had stories got about. It was observed that been flies. The tickling pleasure, which Ho-ti's cottage was burnt down now he experienced in his lower regions, had more frequently than ever. Nothing but rendered him quite callous to any in- fires from this time forward. Some (140 conveniences he might feel in those re- would break out in broad day, others in mote quarters. His father might lay on, the night-time. As often as the sow farbut he could not beat him from his pig, rowed, so sure was the house of Ho-ti till he had fairly made an end of it, 190 to be in a blaze; and Ho-ti himself, which when, becoming a little more sensible was the more remarkable, instead of chasof his situation, something like the fol- tising his son, seemed to grow more inlowing dialogue ensued.
dulgent to him than ever. At length “You graceless whelp, what have you they were watched, the terrible mystery got there devouring? Is it not enough discovered, and father and son
sumthat you have burnt me down three moned to take their trial at Pekin, (150 houses with your dog's tricks, and be then an inconsiderable assize town. Evihanged to you, but you must be eating dence was given, the obnoxious food itseli fire, and I know not what-what have produced in court, and verdict about you got there, I say?"
(100 to be pronounced, when the foreman of “O, father, the pig, the pig, do come the jury begged that some of the burnt and taste how nice the burnt pig eats.” pig, of which the culprits stood accused,
The ears of Ho-ti tingled with horror. might be handed into the box. He hanHe cursed his son, and he cursed himself dled it, and they all handled it, and that ever he should beget a son that should burning their fingers, as Bo-bo and his eat burnt pig.
father had done before them, and na- [160 Bo-bo, whose scent was wonderfully ture prompting to each of them the sharpened since morning, soon raked out same remedy, against the face of all the another pig, and fairly rending it asunder, facts, and the clearest charge which thrust the lesser half by main force (110 judge had ever given, -to the surprise of into the fists of Ho-ti, still shouting out the whole court, townsfolk, strangers, “Eat, eat, eat the burnt pig, father, only reporters, and all present-without leavtaste0 Lord,”—with such-like barbar- ing the box, or any manner of consultaous ejaculations, cramming all the while tion whatever, they brought in a simulas if he would choke.
taneous verdict of Not Guilty. Ho-ti trembled every joint while he The judge, who was a shrewd fel- (1 70 grasped the abominable thing, wavering low, winked at the manifest iniquity of whether he should not put his son to the decision; and, when the court was death for an unnatural young monster, dismissed, went privily, and bought up when the crackling scorching his fin- (120 all the pigs that could be had for love or gers, as it had done his son's, and apply- money,
money. In a few days his Lordship's ing the same remedy to them, he in his town house was observed to be on fire. turn tasted some of its
which, The thing took wing, and now there was make what sour mouths he would for a nothing to be seen but fires in every direcpretence, proved not altogether displeas- tion. Fuel and pigs grew enormously ing to him. In conclusion (for the manu- dear all over the district. The insur- (180 script here is a little tedious) both father ance offices one and all shut up shop. and son fairly sat down to the mess, and People built slighter and slighter every never left off till they had despatched all day, until it was feared that the very that remained of the litter.
(130 science of architecture would in no long Bo-bo was strictly enjoined not to let time be lost to the world. Thus this