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pretender in Spain, or sell themselves to | enty thousand breeders. I again subtract the Barbadoes.
fifty thousand for those women ... 170 I think it is agreed by all parties that whose children die by accident or disthis prodigious number of children in ease within the year. There only remains the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels one hundred and twenty thousand chilof their mothers, and frequently of [20 dren of poor parents annually born. their fathers, is in the present deplorable | The question therefore is, how this numstate of the kingdom a very great addi- ber shall be reared and provided for, tional grievance; and, therefore, whoever which, as I have already said, under the could find out a fair, cheap, and easy present situation of affairs, is utterly method of making these children sound, impossible by all the methods hitherto useful members of the commonwealth, proposed. For we can neither employ (80 would deserve so well of the public as to them in handicraft or agriculture; we have his statue set up for a preserver of neither build houses (I mean in the counthe nation.
try) nor cultivate land: they can very But my intention is very far from be- (30 seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing, ing confined to provide only for the chil- till they arrive at six years old, except dren of professed beggars; it is of a much where they are of towardly parts; although greater extent, and shall take in the I confess they learn the rudiments much whole number of infants at a certain age earlier, during which time, they can howwho are born of parents in effect as little ever be properly looked upon only as able to support them as those who de probationers, as I have been informed (90 mand our charity in the streets.
by a principal gentleman in the county of As to my own part, having turned my Cavan, who protested to me that he never thoughts for many years upon this, im knew above one or two instances under portant subject, and maturely weighed (40 the age of six, even in a part of the kingthe several schemes of other projectors, dom so renowned for the quickest proI have always found them grossly mis ficiency in that art. taken in the computation. It is true, a I am assured by our merchants, that a child just born may be supported by its boy or a girl before twelve years old is mother's milk for a solar year, with little no salable commodity; and even when other nourishment; at most not above the they come to this age they will not (100 value of 2s., which the mother may yield above three pounds, or three pounds certainly get, or the value in scraps, by and half-a-crown at most on the exchange; her lawful occupation of begging; and which cannot turn to account either to it is exactly at one year old that I [50 | the parents or kingdom, the charge of propose to provide for them in such a nutriment and rags having been at least manner as instead of being a charge upon | four times that value. their parents or the parish, or wanting I shall now therefore humbly propose food and raiment for the rest of their my own thoughts, which I hope will not lives, they shall on the contrary con be liable to the least objection. tribute to the feeding, and partly to the I have been assured by a very (110 clothing, of many thousands. ...
knowing American of my acquaintance The number of souls in this kingdom in London, that a young healthy child being usually reckoned one million and well nursed is at a year old a most delia half, of these I calculate there may [60 cious, nourishing, and wholesome food, be about two hundred thousand couple whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; whose wives are breeders; from which and I make no doubt that it will equally number I subtract thirty thousand couples serve in a fricassee or a ragout. ... who are able to maintain their own chil A child will make two dishes at an enterdren, although I apprehend there cannot tainment for friends; and when the family be so many, under the present distresses dines alone, the fore or hind quarter (120 of the kingdom; but this being granted, will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned there will remain an hundred and sev- | with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially their parents, if alive, or otherwise by in winter.
their nearest relations. But with due I have reckoned upon a medium that a deference to so excellent a friend and so child just born will weigh 12 pounds, deserving a patriot, I cannot be al- (180 and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, together in his sentiments; for as to the increaseth to 28 pounds.
males, my American acquaintance assured I grant this food will be somewhat me, from frequent experience, that their dear, and therefore very proper for (130 flesh was generally tough and lean, like landlords, who, as they have already de that of our school-boys, by continual voured most of the parents, seem to have exercise, and their taste disagreeable; and the best title to the children. ....
to fatten them would not answer the I have already computed the charge of charge.... And besides, it is not nursing a beggar's child (in which list improbable that some scrupulous people I reckon all cottagers, laborers, and four- might be apt to censure such a prac- (190 fifths of the farmers) to be about two tice (although indeed very unjustly), as shillings per annum, rags included; and a little bordering upon cruelty; which, I I believe no gentleman would repine to confess, hath always been with me the give ten shillings for the carcass of a (140 strongest objection against any project, good fat child, which, as I have said, will however so well intended. make four dishes of excellent nutritive But in order to justify my friend, he meat, when he hath only some particular confessed that this expedient was put friend or his own family to dine with into his head by the famous Psalmanazar, him. Thus the squire will learn to be a a native of the island Formosa, who came good landlord, and grow popular among from thence to London above twenty [200 his tenants; the mother will have eight years ago, and in conversation told my shillings net profit, and be fit for work friend, that in his country when any till she produces another child.
young person happened to be put to death, Those who are more thrifty (as I (150 the executioner sold the carcass to permust confess the times require) may flay sons of quality as a prime dainty; and the carcass; the skin of which artificially that in his time the body of a plump girl dressed will make admirable gloves for of fifteen, who was crucified for an atladies, and summer boots for fine gentle tempt to poison the emperor, was sold men.
to his imperial majesty's prime minister As to our city of Dublin, shambles may of state, and other great mandarins of (210 be appointed for this purpose in the most the court, in joints from the gibbet, at convenient parts of it, and butchers we four hundred crowns. Neither indeed may be assured will not be wanting; al can I deny, that if the same use were though I rather recommend buying (160 made of several plump young girls in the children alive than dressing them hot this town, who without one single groat from the knife as we do roasting pigs. to their fortunes cannot stir abroad
A very worthy person, a true lover of without a chair, and appear at playhouse his country, and whose virtues I highly and assemblies in foreign fineries which esteem, was lately pleased in discoursing they never will pay for, the kingdom on this matter to offer a refinement upon would not be the worse.
(220 my scheme. He said that many gentle Some persons of a desponding spirit men of this kingdom, having of late de- are in great concern about that vast stroyed their deer, he conceived that the number of poor people, who are aged, want of venison might be well sup- (170 diseased, or maimed, and I have been plied by the bodies of young lads and desired to employ my thoughts what maidens, not exceeding fourteen years course may be taken to ease the nation of age nor under twelve; so great a number of so grievous an encumbrance. But I of both sexes in every country being now am not in the least pain upon that matter, ready to starve for want of work and / because it is very well known that they service; and these to be disposed of by | are every day dying and rotting by [230 cold and famine, and filth and vermin, as great custom to taverns; where the vintfast as can be reasonably expected. And ners will certainly be so prudent as to as to the young laborers, they are now procure the best receipts for dressing it in as hopeful a condition; they cannot get to perfection, and consequently have work, and consequently pine away for their houses frequented by all the fine want of nourishment, to a degree that if gentlemen, who justly value them- (290 at any time they are accidentally hired selves upon their knowledge in good eatto common labor, they have not strength ing: and a skilful cook, who understands to perform it; and thus the country and how to oblige his guests, will contrive to themselves are happily delivered from [240 make it as expensive as they please. the evils to come.
Sixthly, this would be a great induceI have too long digressed, and there ment to marriage, which all wise nations fore shall return to my subject. I think have either encouraged by rewards or the advantages by the proposal which I enforced by laws and penalties. It would have made are obvious and many, as well increase the care and tenderness of mothers as of the highest importance.
toward their children, when they (300 For first, as I have already observed, were sure of a settlement for life to the it would greatly lessen the number of poor babes, provided in some sort by the papists, with whom we are yearly over public, to their annual profit instead of run, being the principal breeders of (250 expense. We should see an honest emulathe nation as well as our most dangerous tion among the married women, which enemies; and who stay at home on pur of them could bring the fattest child to pose with a design to deliver the king the market. Men would become as fond dom to the pretender, hoping to take of their wives during the time of their their advantage by the absence of so pregnancy as they are now of their mares many good protestants, who have chosen in foal, their cows in calf, their sows (310 rather to leave their country than stay at when they are ready to farrow; nor offer home and pay tithes against their con- | to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a science to an episcopal curate.
practice) for fear of a miscarriage. Secondly, the poorer tenants will [260 Many other advantages might be enuhave something valuable of their own, merated. For instance, the addition of which by law may be made liable to dis some thousand carcasses in our exportatress and help to pay their landlord's tion of barreled beef, the propagation of rent, their corn and cattle being already swine's flesh, and improvement in the seized, and money a thing unknown. art of making good bacon, so much wanted
Thirdly, whereas the maintenance of among us by the great destruction (320 an hundred thousand children, from two of pigs, too frequent at our tables; which years old and upward, cannot be com are no way comparable in taste or magputed at less than ten shillings a-piece nificence to a well-grown, fat, yearling per annum, the nation's stock will be [270 child, which roasted whole will make a thereby increased fifty thousand pounds considerable figure at a lord mayor's feast per annum, beside the profit of a new or any other public entertainment. But dish introduced to the tables of all gentle this and many others I omit, being stumen of fortune in the kingdom who have dious of brevity. any refinement in taste. And the money Supposing that one thousand families will circulate among ourselves, the goods in this city would be constant cus- (330 being entirely of our own growth and tomers for infant's flesh, beside others manufacture.
who might have it at merry-meetings, Fourthly, the parents, beside the gain particularly weddings and christenings, of eight shillings sterling per annum (280 I compute that Dublin would take off by the sale of their children, will be rid | annually about twenty thousand carof the charge of maintaining them after casses; and the rest of the kingdom (where the first year.
probably they will be sold somewhat Fifthly, this food would likewise bring | cheaper) the remaining eighty thousand.
I can think of no one objection that full in our own power, and whereby we will possibly be raised against this (340 can incur no danger in disobliging ENGproposal, unless it should be urged that LAND. For this kind of commodity will the number of people will be thereby not bear exportation, the flesh being of much lessened in the kingdom. This I too tender a consistence to admit a long freely own, and was indeed one principal continuance in salt, although perhaps I design in offering it to the world. I desire could name a country which would be the reader will observe, that I calculate glad to eat up our whole nation with- 1400 my remedy for this one individual king out it. dom of Ireland and for no other that After all, I am not so violently bent ever was, is, or I think ever can be upon upon my own opinion as to reject any earth. Therefore let no man talk to 1350 offer proposed by wise men, which shall me of other expedients: of taxing our ab be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, sentees at five shillings a pound; of using and effectual. But before something of neither clothes nor household furniture that kind shall be advanced in contradicexcept what is of our own growth and tion to my scheme, and offering a better, manufacture; of utterly rejecting the ma I desire the author or authors will be terials and instruments that promote pleased maturely to consider two (410 foreign luxury; of curing the expensive points. First, as things now stand, how ness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gam they will be able to find food and raiment ing in our women; of introducing a vein for an hundred thousand useless mouths of parsimony, prudence, and tem- (360 and backs. And secondly, there being a perance; of learning to love our country, round million of creatures in human wherein we differ even from LAPLANDERS figure throughout this kingdom, whose and the inhabitants of TOPINAMBOO; of whole subsistence put into a common quitting our animosities and factions, nor stock would leave them in debt two milact any longer like the Jews, who were lions of pounds sterling, adding those murdering one another at the very mo who are beggars by profession to the [420 ment their city was taken; of being a bulk of farmers, cottagers, and laborers, little cautious not to sell our country with their wives and children who are and conscience for nothing; of teaching beggars in effect: I desire those politicians landlords to have at least one degree 370 who dislike my overture, and may perof mercy toward their tenants; lastly, of haps be so bold as to attempt an answer, putting a spirit of honesty, industry, and that they will first ask the parents of these skill into our shopkeepers; who, if a resolu- | mortals, whether they would not at this tion could now be taken to buy only our day think it a great happiness to have native goods, would immediately unite to been sold for food at a year old in the cheat and exact upon us in the price, the | manner I prescribe, and thereby have [430 measure, and the goodness, nor could | avoided such a perpetual scene of misever yet be brought to make one fair pro fortunes as they have since gone through posal of just dealing, though often and by the oppression of landlords, the imearnestly invited to it.
1380 possibility of paying rent without money Therefore I repeat, let no man talk | or trade, the want of common sustenance, to me of these and the like expedients, till with neither house nor clothes to cover he hath at least some glimpse of hope that them from the inclemencies of the weather, there will be ever some hearty and sincere and the most inevitable prospect of attempt to put them in practice.
entailing the like or greater miseries upon But as to myself, having been wearied | their breed for ever.
(440 out for many years with offering vain, I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length that I have not the least personal interest utterly despairing of success, I fortunately in endeavoring to promote this necessary fell upon this proposal; which, as it (390 work, having no other motive than the is wholly new, so it hath something solid public good of my country, by advancing and real, of no expense and little trouble, our trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure to night; for you must understand Presto the rich. I have no children by which was sleepy, and made blunders and blots. I can propose to get a single penny; the Very pretty that I must be writing to youngest being nine years old, and (450 young women in a morning fresh and 150 my wife past child-bearing.
fasting, faith. Well, good morrow to
you: and so I go to business, and lay aside From THE JOURNAL TO STELLA
this paper till night, sirrahs. — At
night. Jack How told Harley, that if Sept. 30, 1710. Have not I brought there were a lower place in hell than anmyself into a fine premunire to begin other, it was reserved for his porter, who writing letters in whole sheets? and now tells lies so gravely, and with so civil a I dare not leave it off. I can't tell whether manner. This porter I have had to deal you like these journal letters: I believe with, going this evening at four to visit they would be dull to me to read them Mr. Harley, by his own appointment. (oo over; but, perhaps, little MD is pleased to But the fellow told me no lie, though I know how Presto passes his time in her suspected every word he said. He told absence. I always begin my last the me his master was just gone to dinner, same day I ended the former. I told (10 with much company, and desired I would you where I dined to-day at a tavern come an hour hence, which I did, expectwith Stratford: Lewis, who is a great | ing to hear Mr. Harley was gone out; but favorite of Harley's, was to have been they had just done dinner. Mr. Harley with us; but he was hurried to Hamp- | came out to me, brought me in, and preton Court, and sent his excuse, and that sented me to his son-in-law, Lord Donext Wednesday he would introduce me blane (or some such name), and his 170 to Harley. 'Tis good to see what a la- own son, and among others, Will Penn the mentable confession the Whigs all make Quaker: we sat two hours, drinking as me of my ill usage; but I mind them good wine as you do; and two hours more not. I am already represented to Har- (20 | he and I alone; where he heard me tell ley as a discontented person, that was my business; asked for my powers, and used ill for not being Whig enough; and read them; and read likewise a memorial I hope for good usage from him. The I had drawn up, and put it in his pocket Tories dryly tell me, I may make my to show the Queen; told me the measures fortune, if I please; but I do not under he would take; and, in short, said everystand them, or rather, I do understand thing I could wish; told me he must (80 them.
bring Mr. St. John (Secretary of State) Oct. 4. After I had put out my candle and me acquainted; and spoke so many last night, my landlady came into my things of personal kindness and esteem room, with a servant of Lord Halifax, (30 for me, that I am inclined half to believe to desire I would go dine with him at his what some friends have told me, that he house near Hampton Court; but I sent would do everything to bring me over. him word I had business of great impor- He has desired to dine with me (what a tance that hindered me, etc. And, to-day, comical mistake was that), I mean, he has I was brought privately to Mr. Harley, desired me to dine with him on Tuesday; who received me with the greatest respect and after four hours being with him, loo and kindness imaginable: he has appointed set me down at St. James's Coffeehouse, me an hour on Saturday at four, after in a hackney coach. All this is odd and noon, when I will open my business to comical if you consider him and me. He him.
140 knew my Christian name very well. I Oct. 7. I wonder when this letter will could not forbear saying thus much upon be finished: it must go by Tuesday, that | this matter, although you will think it is certain; and if I have one from MD tedious. But I will tell you; you must before, I will not answer it, that's as cer- | know, 'tis fatal to me to be a scoundrel tain too! 'Tis now morning, and I did | and a prince the same day: for being to not finish my papers for Mr. Harley last see him at four, I could not engage (100