I must, with inexpressible pleasure, write you word, how happily God's Providence has now, at last, turned that affair, which once made me so uneasy, in relation to the fine Countess, (who has been some time abroad,) of whom you had heard, as you told me, some reports, which, had you known at the time, would have made you very apprehensive for Mr B's morals, as well as for my repose. I will now (because I can do it with the highest pleasure, by reason of the event which it has produced) give you the particulars of that dark affair, so far as shall make you judges of my present joy; although I had hitherto avoided entering into that subject to you. For now I think myself, by God's grace, secure of the affection and fidelity of the best of husbands, and that from the worthiest motives; as you shall hear. There was but one thing wanting, my dear parents, to complete all the happiness I wished for in this life; and that was, the remote hope I had entertained, that, one day, my dear Mr B—, who from a licentious gentleman became a moralist, would be so touched by the Divine Grace, as to become in time more than a moral, a religious man, and that he would at last join in the duties which he had the good ness to countenance. For this reason I began with mere indispensables. I crowded not his gate with objects of charity; I visited them at their homes, and relieved them, distinguishing the worthy indigent (made so by unavoidable accidents and casualties) from the wilfully, or perversely, or sottishly such, by greater marks of my favour. I confined my morning and evening devotions to my own closet, as privately as possible, lest I should give offence and discouragement to so gay a temper, so unaccustomed (poor gentleman) to acts of devotion and piety; while I met his household together, only on mornings and evenings of the Sabbath day, to prepare them for their public duties in the one, and in hopes to confirm them in what they had heard at church in the other; leaving them to their own reflections for the rest of the week; after I had suggested to them a method I wished to be followed by themselves, and in which they constantly obliged me. This good order had its desired effect, and our Sabbath-day assemblies were held with so little parade, that we were hardly any of us missed. All, in short, was done with cheerful ease and composure; and every one of us was better disposed to our domestic duties by this method-Î, to attend the good pleasure of my best friend; and they, to attend that of us both. In this manner we went on very happily, my neighbourly visits of charity taking up no more time than common airings, and passing, many of them, for such; my private duties being only between my First, my Heavenly Benefactor, VOL. VI. and myself, and my family ones (personally) confined to the day, separated for the best of services; and Mr B- pleased with my manner, beheld the good effects, and countenanced me by his praises and his endearments, as acting discreetly, as not falling into enthusiasm, and (as he used to say) as not aiming at being righteous over-much. But still I wanted, and I waited for, with humble impatience, and I made it part of my constant prayers, that the Divine Grace would at last touch his heart, and make him more than a countenancer, more than an applauder, of my duties; that he might, for his own dear sake, become a partaker, a partner in them; and then, thought I, when we can hand in hand, heart in heart, one spirit, as well as one flesh, join in the same closet, in the same prayers and thanksgivings, what a happy creature shall I be! I say closet, for I durst not aspire so high, as to hope he would favour me with his company among his servants, in our Sunday devotions. I knew it would be going too far, in his opinion, to expect it from him. In me, their mistress, had I been ever so high-born, it was not amiss, because I, and they, every one of us, were his; I in one degree, Mr Longman in another, Mrs Jervis in another-But, from a man of his high temper, and manner of education, I knew I could never hope for it; so would not lose every thing, by grasping at too much. But, in the midst of all these comfortable proceedings, and my farther charming hopes, a nasty masquerade threw into the dear gentleman's way a temptation, which, for a time, blasted all my prospects, and, indeed, made me doubt my own head almost. For, judge what my disappointment must be, when I found all my wishes frustrated, all my prayers rendered ineffectual! His very morality, which I had flattered myself, in time, I should be an humble instrument to exalt into religion, shocked, and in danger; and all the good work to begin again, if offended grace should ever again offer itself to the dear wilful trespasser! But who shall pretend to scrutinize the councils of the Almighty ?-For out of all this evil appearance was to proceed the real good, I had been so long and so often supplicating for! The dear man was to be on the brink of relapsing: It was proper that I should be so very uneasy, as to assume a conduct not natural to my temper, and to raise his generous concern for me: And, in the very crisis, Divine Grace interposed, made him sensible of his danger, made him resolve against his error, before it was yet too late; and his sliding feet, quitting the slippery path he was in, collected new strength, and he stood the firmer, and more secure for his peril. For, my dear parents, having happily put an end to that affair, and by his uniform conduct for a considerable length of time, shewed me 2 H that I had nothing to apprehend from it, he was pleased, when we were last at Tunbridge together, and in very serious discourse upon Divine subjects, to say to this effect: Is there not, my Pamela, a text, That the unbelieving husband shall be saved by the believing wife, while he beholds her chaste conversation coupled with fear? I need not tell you, my dear Mr B- that there is, nor where it is. Then, my dear, I begin to hope, that will be my case; for, from a former affair, of which this spot of ground puts me more in mind, I see so much reason to doubt my own strength, which I had built, and, as I thought, securely, on moral foundations, that I must look out for a better guide to conduct me, than the proud word honour can be, in the general acceptation of it among us lively young gentlemen. How often, my dearest love, continued he, have I promised, (and I never promised, but I intended to perform,) that I would be faithful ly and only yours! How often have I declared, that I did not think I could possibly deserve my Pamela, till I could shew her, in my own mind, a purity as nearly equal to hers as my past conduct would admit of! But I depended too much upon my own strength And I am now convinced, that nothing but : RELIGIOUS CONSIDERATIONS, and a resolution to watch over the very first appearances of evil, and to check them as they arise, can be of sufficient weight to keep steady to his good purposes, a vain young man, too little accustomed to restraint, and too much used to play upon the brink of dangers, from a temerity and love of intrigue, natural to enterprizing minds. I would not, my best love, make this declaration of my convictions to you, till I had thoroughly examined myself, and had reason to hope, that I should be enabled to make it good. And now, my Pamela, from this instant, you shall be my guide; and, only taking care, that you do not, all at once, by injunctions too rigorous, damp and discourage the rising flame, I will leave it to you to direct as you please, till, by degrees, it may be deemed worthy to mingle with your own. Judge, my dear parents, how rapturous my joy was upon this occasion, and how ready I was to bless God for a danger (so narrowly escaped,) which was attended with the very consequences that I had so long prayed for; and which I little thought the Divine Providence was bringing about by the very means that, I apprehended, would put an end to all my pleasing hopes and prospects of that nature. It is in vain for me to think of finding words to express what I felt, and how I acted on this occasion. I heard him out with twenty different and impatient emotions; and then threw myself at his feet, embracing his kness, with arms the most ardently clasping; my face lifted up to heaven, and to his face, by turns; my eyes overflowing with tears of joy, which half choked up the passage of my words. At last, his kind arms clasping my neck, and kissing my tearful cheek, I could only say-My prayers, my ardent prayers, are at last-at last-heard-May God Almighty, dear sir, confirm your pious purposes!--And, oh! what a happy Pamela have you at your feet! I wept for joy till I sobbed again—and he raising me to his kind arms, when I could speak, I said, To have this heavenly prospect, O best beloved of my heart! added to all my earthly blessings!-how shall I contain my joy !-For, oh! to think that my dear Mr B- -is, and will be, mine, and I his, through the mercies of God, when this transitory life is past and gone, to all eternity; what a rich thought is this!-Methinks I am already, dear sir, ceasing to be mortal, and beginning to taste the perfection of those joys, which this thrice welcome declaration gives me hope of hereafter !--But, what shall I say, obliged as I was beyond expression before, and now doubly obliged in the rapturous view you have opened to me, into a happy futurity! He was pleased to say, he was delighted with me beyond expression; that I was his ecstatic charmer!-That the love I shewed for his future good was the moving proof of the purity of my heart, and my affection for him. And that very evening he was pleased to join with me in my retired duties; and, at all proper opportunities, favours me with his company in the same manner; listening attentively to all my lessons, as he calls my cheerful discourses on serious subjects. And now, my dear parents, do you not rejoice with me, in this charming, charming appearance? For, before, I had the most generous, the most beneficent, the most noble, the most affectionate; but, now, I am likely to have the most pious of husbands! What a happy wife, what a happy daughter, is his and your Pamela! -God of his infinite mercy continue and improve the ravishing prospect! I was forced to leave off here, to enjoy the charming reflections, which this lovely subject, and my blessed prospects, filled me with: And now proceed to write a few lines more. I am under some concern on account of our going to travel into Roman Catholic countries, for fear we should want the public opportunities of divine service. For I presume the ambassador's chapel will be the only Protestant place of worship allowed of; and Paris the only city in France where there is one. But we must endeavour to make it up in our private and domestic duties: For, as the phrase is, when we are at Rome, we must do as they do at Rome; that is to say, so far as not to give offence, on the one hand, to the people we are among; nor scan dal, on the other, by compliances hurtful to one's conscience. But my protector knows all these things so well, (no place in what is called the grand tour being new to him,) that I have no reason to be very uneasy on these accounts. And now, my dearest dear honoured parents, let me by letter, as I did on my knees at parting, beg the continuance of your prayers and blessings, and that God will preserve us to one another, and give us, and all our worthy friends, a happy meeting again. Kent, you may be sure, will be our first visit, on our return, for your sakes, for my dear Davers's sake, and for my little Pamela's sake, who will be both sent down, and put into your protection; while my Billy, and Miss Goodwin, (for, since I began this letter, it is so determined,) are to be my delightful companions; for Mr B- declared, his boy shall not be one day out of my presence, if he can help it; because, he is pleased to say, his temper wants looking after, and his notices of every thing are strong and significant. Poor little dear! he has, indeed, a little sort of perverseness and headstrongness, as one may say, in his will: But he is but a baby; and I shall, I hope, manage him pretty well; for he takes great notice of all I say, and of every look of mine already-He is, besides, very good-humoured, and willing to part with any thing for a kind word; and this gives me hope of a docile and benevolent disposition, as he grows up. I thought, when I began the last paragraph but one, that I was within a line of concluding; but it is to you, and of my babies, I am writing! so shall go on to the bottom of this new sheet, if I do not directly put an end to my scribbling: Which I do, with assuring you both, my dear good parents, that wherever I am, I shall always be thoughtful of you, and remember you in my prayers, as becomes Your ever-dutiful Daughter, My respects to all your good neighbours in general. Mr Longman will visit you now and then. Mrs Jervis will take one journey to Kent, she says, and it shall be to accompany my babies, when they are carried down to you. Poor Jonathan, and she, good folks! seem declining in their health, which much grieves me.-Once more, God send us all a happy meeting, if it be his blessed will! Adieu, adieu, my dear parents! Your ever-dutiful, &c. LETTER XCIX. MRS B TO LADY G. MY DEAR LADY G——. I RECEIVED your last letter at Paris, as we were disposing every thing for our return to England, after an absence of near two years; in which, as I have informed you, from time to time, I have been a great traveller, into Holland, the Netherlands, through the most considerable provinces of France into Italy; and, in our return to Paris again, (the principal place of our residence,) through several parts of Germany. I told you of the favours and civilities we received at Florence from the then Countess Dowager of who, with her humble servant (that had so assiduously attended her for so many months in Italy,) accompanied us from Florence to Inspruck. Lord C Her ladyship made that worthy lord happy in about a month after she parted from us; and the noble pair gave us an opportunity at Paris, in their way to England, to return some of the civilities which we received from them in Italy: And they are now arrived at her ladyship's seat on the Forest. Her lord is exceedingly fond of her, as he well may; for she is one of the most charming ladies in England; and behaves to him with so much prudence and respect, that they are as happy in each other as can be wished. And let me just add, that both in Italy and at Paris, Mr B's demeanour and her ladyship's to one another, was so nobly open, and unaffectedly polite, as well as highly discreet, that neither Lord C, who had once been jealous of Mr B, nor the other party, who had had a tincture of the same yellow evil, as you know, because of the Countess, had so much as a shadow of uneasiness remaining on that occasion. Lord Davers has had his health (which had begun to decline in England) so well, that there was no persuading Lady Davers to return before now; although I begged and prayed I might not have another little Frenchman, for fear they should, as they grew up, forget, as I pleasantly used to say, the obligations which their parentage lays them under to dearer England. And now, my dearest friend, I have shut up my rambles for my whole life; for three little English folks and one little Frenchman, (but a charming baby, as well as the rest, Charley by name,) and a near prospect of a farther increase, you will say, are family enough to employ all my cares at home. I have told you, from time to time, although I could not write to you so often as I would, because of our being constantly in motion, what was most worthy of your knowledge relating to our particular, and how happy we have all been in one another. And I have the pleasure to confirm to you what I have several times written, that Mr B and my Lord and Lady Davers are all that I could wish and hope for, with regard to their first duties. Indeed, indeed, we are a happy family, united by the best and most solid ties! Miss Goodwin is a charming young lady!I cannot express how much I love her! She is a perfect mistress of the French language, and you speak, even when you grow a bigger master than you are now. speaks Italian very prettily! And, as to myself, I have improved so well under my dear tutor's lessons, together with the opportunity of con- You have so many pretty ways to learn one, versing with the politest and most learned gen- madam, says Miss, now and then, that it is impostry of different nations, that I will hold a con- sible we should not regard what you say to us! versation with you in two or three languages, if Several French tutors, when we were abroad, you please, when I have the happiness to see were recommended to Mr B. But there is you. There's a learned boaster for you, my dear one English gentleman, now on his travels with friend! (if the knowledge of different languages young Mr R- with whom Mr B has makes one learned.) But I shall bring you an agreed; and, in the meantime, my best friend heart as entirely English as ever, for all that! is pleased to compliment me, that the children We landed on Thursday last at Dover, and will not suffer for want of a tutor, while I can directed our course to the dear farm-house; and take the pains I do: which he will have to be you can better imagine than I express, what a too much for me; especially that now, on our meeting we had with my dear father and mo- return, my Davers and my Pamela are added ther, and my beloved Davers and Pamela, who to my cares. But what mother can take too are charming babies-But is not this the lan- much pains to cultivate the minds of her chilguage of every fond mamma? dren?-If, my dear Lady G-, it were not for these frequent lyings-in!-But this is the time of life-Though little did I think, so early, I should have so many careful blessings! Miss Goodwin is highly delighted now with my sweet little Pamela, and says, She shall be her sister indeed! For, madam, said she, Miss is a beauty!-And we see no French beauties like Master Davers and Miss. Beauty! my dear Miss Goodwin, said I; what is beauty, if she be not a good girl!-Beauty is but a specious, and, as it may happen, a dangerous recommendation, a mere skin-deep perfection; and if, as she grows up, she is not as good as my Miss Goodwin, she shall be none of my girl. What adds to my pleasure, my dear friend, is to see them both so well got over the smallpox. It has been as happy for them as it was for their mamma and her Billy, that they had it under so skilful and kind a manager in that distemper, as my dear mother. I wish, if it please God, it was as happily over with my little pretty Frenchman. Every body is surprised to see what the past two years have done for Miss Goodwin and my Billy. O my dear friend! they are both of them almost-nay, quite, I think, for their years, all that I wish them to be. In order to make them keep their French, which Miss so well speaks, and Billy so prettily prattles, I oblige them, when they talk to one another, and are in the nursery, to speak nothing else; but at table, except on particular occasions, when French may be spoken, they are to speak in English; that is to say, when they do speak: For I tell them that little masters must do nothing but ask questions for information, and say Yes, or No, till their papas or mammas give them leave to speak; nor little ladies neither, till they are sixteen; for, my dear loves, cry I, you would not speak before you know how: And knowledge is obtained by hearing, and not by speaking. And setting my Billy on my lap, in miss's presence, Here, said I, taking an ear in the fingers of each hand, are two ears, my Billy; and, then pointing to his mouth, but one tongue, my love: So you must be sure to mind, that you hear twice as much as I have as great credit as pleasure from my little family. All our neighbours here in Bedfordshire admire us more and more. You'll excuse my seeming (for it is but seeming) vanity; I hope I know better than to have it real-Never, says Lady Towers, who is still a single lady, did I see before, a lady so much advantaged by her residence in that fantastic nation, (for she loves not the French,) and who brought home with her nothing of their affectations!-She will have it, that the French politeness, and the English frankness and plainness of heart, appear happily blended in all we say and do. And she makes me a thousand compliments upon Lord and Lady Davers's account, who, she would fain persuade me, owe a great deal of improvement (my lord in his conversation, and my lady in her temper) to living in the same house with us. Indeed my Lady Davers is exceeding kind and good to me, is always magnifying me to every body, and says, she knows not how to live from me; and that I have been a means of saving half an hundred souls, as well as her dear brother's. On an indisposition of my Lord's at Montpelier, which made her ladyship very apprehensive, she declared, that were she to be deprived of his lordship, she would not let us rest till we had consented to her living with us; saying, that we had room enough in Lincolnshire, and she would enlarge the Bedfordshire seat at her own expense. Mr H- - is Mr H- still; and that's the best I can say of him: For, I verily think, he is more an ape than ever. His whole head is now French. 'Twas half so before. We had great difficulties with him abroad: His aunt and I endeavouring to give him a serious and religious turn, we had like to have turned him into a Roman Catholic. For he was pleased much with the showy part of that religion, and the fine pictures and decorations in the churches of Italy; and having got into company with a Dominican at Padua, a Franciscan at Milan, and a Jesuit at Paris, they lay so hard at him, in their turns, that we had like to have lost him to each assailant; so were forced to let him take his own course; for, his aunt would have it, that he had no other defence from the attacks of persons to make him embrace a faulty religion, than to permit him to continue as he was: that is to say, to have none at all. So she suspended attempting to proselyte the thoughtless creature till he came to England. I wish her ladyship success here: but, I doubt, he will not be a credit to any religion for a great while. And as he is very desirous to go to London, as he has always been, it will be found, when there, that any fluttering coxcomb will do more to make him one of that class in an hour, than his aunt's lessons to make him a good man in a twelvemonth. Where much is given, much is required. The contrary of this, I doubt, is all poor Mr H- has to trust to. Just now we have a messenger to tell us, that his father, who has been long ill, is dead. So, now, he is a lord indeed! He flutters and struts about most strangely, I warrant, and is wholly employed in giving directions relating to his mourning equipage. And now there will be no holding of him in, I doubt; except his new title has so much virtue in it, as to make him a wiser and a better man. He will now have a seat in the House of Peers of Great Britain; but, I hope, for the nation's sake, he will not meet with many more like himself there!- For, to me, that is one of the most venerable assemblies in the world; and it appears the more so, since I have been abroad; for an English gentleman is respected, if he be any thing of a man, above a foreign nobleman; and an English nobleman above some petty sovereigns. If our travelling gentry duly considered this distinction in their favour, they would, for the honour of their country, as well as for their own credit, behave in a better manner in their foreign tours, than, I am sorry to say it, some of them do. But what can one expect from the unlicked cubs, pardon the term, sent abroad with only stature, to make them look like men, and equipage to attract respect, without one other qualification to enforce it? Here let me close this, with a few tears, to the memory of my dear Mrs Jervis, my other mother, my friend, my adviser, my protectress, in my single state, and my faithful second and partaker in the comforts of my higher life, and better fortunes! What would I have given to have been present, as, it seems, she so earnestly wished, to close her dying eyes! I should have done it with the piety and the concern of a truly affectionate daughter. But that melancholy happiness was denied to us both; for, as I told you in the letter on the occasion, that the dear good woman (who now is in the possession of her blessed reward, and rejoicing in God's mercies) was no more, when the news reached me so far off as at Heidelburgh, of her last illness and wishes. I cannot forbear, every time I enter her parlour, (where I used to see, with so much delight, the good woman sitting, always employed in some useful or pious work,) shedding a tear to her memory: And in my Sabbath duties, missing her, I miss half a dozen friends, methinks; and I sigh in remembrance of her; and can only recover that cheerful frame, which the performance of those duties always gave me, by reflecting, that she now is reaping the reward of that sincere piety, which used to edify and encourage us all. The servants we brought home with us, and those we left behind us, melt in tears at the name of Mrs Jervis. Mr Longman, too, lamented the loss of her in the most moving strain. And all I can do now, in honour of her memory and her merit, is to be a friend to those she loved most, as I have already begun to be; and none of them shall suffer in those concerns that can be answered, now she is gone. For the loss of so excellent a friend and relation is loss enough to all who knew her, and claimed kindred with her. Poor worthy Jonathan too, ('tis almost a misery to have so soft, so susceptible an heart as I have, or to have such good servants and friends, as one cannot lose without such emotions as Í feel for the loss of them !) his silver hairs, which I have beheld with so much delight, and thought I had a father in presence, when I saw them adorning so honest and comely a face, how are they now laid low!-Forgive me, my dear Lady G! Jonathan was not a common servant; neither are any of ours so: But Jonathan excelled all that excelled in his class!—I am told, that these two worthy folks died within two days of one another; a circumstance you mentioned not in your letter to me; on which occasion I could not help saying to myself, in the words of David over Saul and his son Jonathan, the namesake of our worthy butler, They were lovely and pleasant in their lives, and in their deaths they were not divided. I might have continued on in the words of the Royal Lamenter; for, surely, never did one fellow-servant love another, in my maiden state, nor servant love a mistress in my exalted condition, better than Jonathan loved me! I could see in his eyes a glistening pleasure, whenever I passed by him: If at such times I spoke to him, as I seldom failed to do, with a God bless you, too! in answer to his repeated blessings, he had a kind of rejuvenescence (may I say?) visibly running through his whole frame: And now and then, if I laid my hand upon his folded ones, as I passed by him on a Sunday morning or evening, praying for me, with a How do you, my worthy old acquaintance? his heart would |