No XXXIV. SATURDAY, JULY 14, 1750. -NON SINE VANO AURARUM ET SILUE METU. ALARM'D WITH EV'RY RISING GALE, Have been cenfured for having hitherto dedicated fo few of my fpcculations to the lad es; and indeed the moralift whofe inftructions are accommodated only to one half of the human fpecies, must be confeffed not fufficiently to have extended his views. Yet, it is to be confidered, that mafculine duties afford more room for counfels and obfervations, as they are lets uniform, and connected with things more fubject to viciilitude and accident; we therefore find that, in philofophical difcourfes which teach by precept, or historical narratives that inftru&t by example, the peculiar virtues or faults of women fill but a fmall part; perhaps generally too fmall; for fo much of our domeftick happiness is in their hands, and their influence is fo great upon our carlieth years, that the univerfal intereft of the world requires them to be well instructed in their province; nor can it be thought proper, that the qualities by which fo much pain or pleafure may be given, fhould be left to the direction of chance. I have, therefore, willingly given a place in my paper to a letter, which, perhaps, may not be wholly ufelefs to them whole chief ambition is to please, as it fhews how certainly the end is miffed by abfurd and injudicious endeavours at diftinction. SIR, TO THE RAMBLER, Am a young gentleman at my own I difpofal, with a confiderable eftate; and having paffed through the common forms of education, fpent fome time in foreign countries, and made myfelf diftinguished fince my return in the politeft company, I am now arrived at that part of life in which every man is expected to fettle, and provide for the continuation of his lineage. I withstood -for fometime the folicitations and remonfrances of my aunts and uncles,but at last HOR. ELPHINSTON, was perfuaded to vifit Anthea, an heires, whole land lies contiguous to mine, and whofe birth and beauty are without objection. Our friends declared that we were born for each other, all thofe on both fides who had no interest in hindering our union contributed to promote it, and were confpiring to hurry us into matrimony, before we had an opportunity of knowing one another. I was, however, too old to be given away without my own confent; and having happened to pick up an opinion which to many of my relations feemed extremely odd, that a man might be unhappy with a large eftate, determined to obtain a nearer knowledge of the perfon with whom I was to país the remainder of my time. To protract the courtship was by no means difficult, for Anthea had a wonderful facility of evading quetions which I seldom repeated, and of barring approaches which I had no great engernefs to prefs. Thus the time paffed away in vifits and civilities, without any ardent profeflions of love, or formal offers of fettlements. I often attended her to publick places; in which, as is well known, all be, haviour is fo much regulated by custom, that very little infight can be gained into the private character, and therefore I was not yet able to inform myfelf of her hu mour and inclinations. At laft I vetured to propofe to her to make one of a fmall party, and fpend a day in viewing a feat and gardens a few miles diftant; and having, upon her compliance, collected the rest of the company, I brought at the hour a coach which I had borrowed from an acquaintance, having delayed to buy one myself, till I fhould have an opportunity of taking the lady's opinion for whofe ufe it was intended. Anthea came down, but as he was going to step into the coach, started back with great appearance of terror, and told us that the durit not enter, for the fhocking colour of the lining had fo much the air of the mourning-coach in which the followed her aunt's funeral three years before, that the should never have her poor dear aunt out of her head. I knew that it was not for lovers to argue with their mistreffes; I therefore fent back the coach, and got another more gay. Into this we all entered, the coachman began to drive, and we were amufing ourselves with the expectation of what we should fee, when, upon a fmall inclination of the carriage, Anthea fcreamed out, that we were overthrown. We were obliged to fix all our attention upon her, which the took care to keep up by renewing her outcries, at every corner where we had occafion to turn: at intervals fhe entertained us with fretful complaints of the uneafinefs of the coach, and obliged me to call feveral times on the coachman to take care and drive without jolting. The poor fellow endeavoured to please us, and therefore moved very flowly, till Anthea found out that this pace would only keep us longer on the ftones, and defired that I would order him to make more speed. He whipped his horfes, the coach jolted again, ana Anthea very complaifantly told us how much she repented that she made one of our company. At last we got into the fmooth road, and began to think our difficulties at an end, when, on a fudden, Anthea faw a brook before us, which he could not venture to pass. We were, therefore, obliged to alight, that we might walk over the bridge; but when we came to it, we found it fo narrow, that Anthea durft not set her foot upon it, and was content, after long confultation, to call the coach back; and with innumerable precautions, terrors, and lamentations, croffed the brook. It was neceffary after this delay to amend our pace, and directions were accordingly given to the coachman, when Anthea informed us, that it was common for the axle to catch fire with a quick motion, and begged of me to look out every minute left we should all be confumed. I was forced to obey, and gave her from time to time the moft folemn declarations that all was fafe, and that I hoped we should reach the place without lofing our lives either by fire or water. Thus we paffed on over ways foft and hard, with more or with lefs fpeed, but always with new viciffitudes of anxiety. If the ground was hard, we were jolted; if foft, we were finking. If we went faft, we fhould be overturned; if flowly, we fhould never reach the place. At length fhe faw fomething which the called a cloud, and began to confider that at that time of the year it frequently thundered. This feemed to be the capital terror, for after that the coach was suffered to move on; and no danger was thought too dreadful to be encountered, provided the could get into a house before the thunder. Thus our whole converfation paffed in dangers, and cares, and fears, and confolations, and ftories of ladies dragged in the mire, forced to spend all the night on a heath, drowned in rivers, or burnt with lightning; and no fooner had a hair-breadth escape set us free from one calamity, but we were threatened with another. At length we reached the house where we intended to regale ourselves; and I propofed to Anthea the choice of a great number of dishes, which the place, being well provided for entertainment, happened to afford. She made fome objection to every thing that was offered; one thing the hated at that time of the year; another the could not bear fince the had feen it fpoiled at Lady Feedwell's table; another the was fure they could not drefs at this houfe; and another she could not touch without French fauce. At last she fixed her mind upon falmon, but there was no falmon in the house. It was however procured with great expedition; and when it came to the table the found that her fright had taken away her ftomach, which indeed the thought no great lofs, for fhe could never believe that any thing at an inn could be cleanly got. Dinner was now over, and the company propofed, for I was now past the condition of making overtures, that we should purfue our original defign of visiting the gardens. Anthea declared that fhe could not imagine what pleasure we expected from the fight of a few green trees and a little gravel, and two or three pits of clear water; that for her part fhe hated walking till the cool of the evening, and thought it very likely to rain; and again wifhed that the had ftaid at home. We then reconciled ourfelves to our disappointment, and began to talk on common fubjects, when Anthea told us that, fince we came to fee gardens, fhe would not hinder our fatis L faction, faction. We all rofe, and walked through the inclofures for fome time, with no other trouble than the neceffity of watching left a frog fhould hop across the way, which Anthea told us would certainly kill her, if the should happen to fee him. Frogs, as it fell out, there were none; but when we were within a furlong of the gardens, Anthea faw fome fheep, and heard the wether clink his bell, which fhe was certain was not hung upon him for nothing, and therefore no affurances nor intreaties fhould prevail upon her to go a step farther; fhe was forry to dif appoint the company, but her life was dearer to her than ceremony. We came back to the inn; and Anthea now difcovered that there was no time to be loft in returning, for the night would come upon us, and a thousand misfortunes might happen in the dark. The horfes were immediately harneffed; and Anthea, having wondered what could feduce her to stay fo long, was eager to SIR, She fot out. But we had now a new fcene of terrour; every man we faw was a robber, and we were ordered fometimes to drive hard, left a traveller whom we faw behind fhould overtake us; and fometimes to stop, left we fhould come up to him who was paffing before us. alarmned many an honeft man, by begging him to fpare her life as he paffed by the coach, and drew me into fifteen quarrels with perfons who encreased her fright, by kindly stopping to enquire whether they could affift us. At last we came home; and fhe told her company next day what a pleasant ride she had been taking. I fuppofe, Sir, I need not enquire of you what deductions may be made froin this narrative, nor what happiness can arife from the fociety of that woman who miftakes cowardice for elegance, and imagines all delicacy to confift in refufing to be pleased. I am, &c. No XXXV. TUESDAY, JULY 17, 1750. NON PRONUBA JUNO, NON HYMENÆUS ADEST, NON ILLI GRATIA LECTO WITHOUT CONNUBIAL JUNO'S AID THEY WED; TO THE RAMBLER. S you have hitherto delayed the which you gave us reafon to hope for another paper upon Matrimony, I imagine you defirous of collecting more materials than your own experience, or obfervation, can fupply; and I fhall therefore lay candidly before you an account of my own entrance into the conjugal ftate. I was about eight and twenty years old, when, having tried the diverfions of the town till I began to be weary, and being awakened into attention to more ferious bufinefs by the failure of an attorney to whom I had implicitly trufted the conduct of my fortune, I refolved -to take my estate into my own care, and methodife my whole life according to the Aristeft rules of economical prudence. In pursuance of this fcheine, I took leave of my acquaintance, who difmilled OVID. ELPHINSTON. many had funk in their retirement, after having diftinguished themselves in taverns and playhoufes, and given hopes of rifing to uncommon eminence among the gay part of mankind. When I came first into the country, which, by a neglect not uncommon among young heirs, I had never feen fince the death of my father, I found every thing in fuch confufion, that being utterly without practice in business, Ï had great difficulties to encounter in difentangling the perplexities of iny circumftances; they however gave way to diligent application, and I perceived that the advantage of keeping my own accounts would very much overbalance the time which they could require. I had now vifited my tenants, furveyed my land, and repaired the old house, |