CL.

He saw, with his own eyes, the moon was round,
Was also certain that the earth was square,
Because he had journey'd fifty miles, and found
No sign that it was circular any where;
His empire was also without a bound;

'Tis true, a little troubled, here and there, By rebel pachas and encroaching giaours,

But then they never came to "the Seven Towers;"

Except in shape of envoys, who were sent

To lodge there when a war broke out, according To the true law of nations, which ne'er meant

Those scoundrels, who have never had a sword in
Their dirty diplomatic hands, to vent

Their spleen in making strife, and safely wording
Their lies, yolep'd despatches, without risk or
The singeing of a single inky whisker.

CLII.

He had fifty daughters and four dozen sons,
Of whom all such as came of age were stow'd,

The former in a palace, where like nuns

They liv'd till some Bashaw was sent abroad,
When she, whose turn it was, was wed at once,
Sometimes at six years old-though this seems odd,
'Tis true; the reason is, that the Bashaw
Must make a present to his sire-in-law.

CLIII.

His sons were kept in prison, till they grew
Of years to fill a bowstring or the throne,

One or the other, but which of the two

Could yet be known unto the Fates alone; Meantime the education they went through

Was princely, as the proofs have always shown; So that the heir apparent still was found.

No less deserving to be hang'd than crown'd.

CLIV.

His Majesty saluted his fourth spouse

With all the ceremonies of his rank,

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151

152

153

154

Who clear'd her sparkling eyes, and smooth'd her brows,

As suits a matron who has play'd a prank;

These must seem doubly mindful of their vows,
To save the credit of their breaking bank:

To no men are such cordial greetings given,

As those whose wives have made them fit for heaven.

M

CXLV.

"Is it," exclaim'd Gulbeyaz, "as you say?
I wish to heaven he would not shine till morning!
But bid my women form the milky way.

Hence, my old comet! give the stars due warning-
And, Christian ! mingle with them as you may,

And as you'd have me pardon your past scorning-
Here they were interrupted by a humming
Sound, and then by a cry, "The Sultan's coming!"

CXLVI.

First came her damsels, a decorous file,

And then his Highness' eunuchs, black and white;
The train might reach a quarter of a mile:
His majesty was always so polite

As to announce his visits, a long while
Before he came, especially at night:
For being the last wife of the Emperor,
She was, of course, the favourite of the four.

CXLVII.

His Highness was a man of solemn port,

Shawl'd to the nose, and bearded to the eyes,
Snatch'd from a prison to preside at court,

His lately bowstrung brother caus'd his rise;
He was as good a sovereign of the sort
As any mention'd in the histories

Of Cantemir or Knolles, where few shine,
Save Solyman, the glory of their line.

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"

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147

CXLVIII.

He went to mosque in state, and said his prayers
With more than "Oriental scrupulosity;"

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He left to his vizier all state-affairs,

And show'd but little royal curiosity;

I know not if he had domestic cares

No process prov'd connubial animosity;

Four wives and twice five hundred maids, unseen,
Were rul'd as calmly as a Christian queen.

CXLIX.

If now and then there happen'd a slight slip,
Little was heard of criminal or crime;

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The story scarcely pass'd a single lip—
The sack and sea had settled all in time,
From which the secret nobody could rip:

The public knew no more than does this rhyme;
No scandals made the daily press a curse-
Morals were better, and the fish no worse.

CL.

He saw, with his own eyes, the moon was round,
Was also certain that the earth was square,
Because he had journey'd fifty miles, and found
No sign that it was circular any where;
His empire was also without a bound;

'Tis true, a little troubled, here and there, By rebel pachas and encroaching giaours,

But then they never came to "the Seven Towers;"

Except in shape of envoys, who were sent

To lodge there when a war broke out, according To the true law of nations, which ne'er meant

Those scoundrels, who have never had a sword in
Their dirty diplomatic hands, to vent

Their spleen in making strife, and safely wording
Their lies, yclep'd despatches, without risk or
The singeing of a single inky whisker.

CLII.

He had fifty daughters and four dozen sons,
Of whom all such as came of age were stow'd,

The former in a palace, where like nuns

They liv'd till some Bashaw was sent abroad,
When she, whose turn it was, was wed at once,
Sometimes at six years old-though this seems odd,
'Tis true; the reason is, that the Bashaw
Must make a present to his sire-in-law,

CLIII.

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151

152

His sons were kept in prison, till they grew
Of years to fill a bowstring or the throne,

153

One or the other, but which of the two

Could yet be known unto the Fates alone;
Meantime the education they went through

Was princely, as the proofs have always shown;
So that the heir apparent still was found.
No less deserving to be hang'd than crown'd.

CLIV.

His Majesty saluted his fourth spouse

With all the ceremonies of his rank,

154

Who clear'd her sparkling eyes, and smooth'd her brows, As suits a matron who has play'd a prank;

These must seem doubly mindful of their vows,

To save the credit of their breaking bank:

To no men are such cordial greetings given,

As those whose wives have made them fit for heaven.

M

CLV.

His Highness cast around his great black eyes,
And looking, as he always look'd, perceiv'd
Juan amongst the damsels, in disguise,

At which he seem'd no whit surpris'd nor griev'd,
But just remark'd, with air sedate and wise,

While still a fluttering sigh Gulbeyaz heav'd, "I see you've bought another girl; 't is pity That a mere Christian should be half so pretty."

CLVI.

This compliment, which drew all eyes upon

The new-bought virgin, made her blush and shake;
Her comrades, also, thought themselves undone :
O Mahomet! that his Majesty should take
Such notice of a giaour, while scarce to one
Of them his lips imperial ever spake !

There was a general whisper, toss, and wriggle;
But etiquette forbade them all to giggle.

CLVII.

The Turks do well to shut-at least, sometimes-
The women up-because, in sad reality,
Their chastity, in these unhappy climes,

Is not a thing of that astringent quality,

Which, in the North, prevents precocious crimes,
And makes our snow less pure than our morality;
The sun, which yearly melts the polar ice,
Has quite the contrary effect on vice.

CLVIII.

Thus in the East they are extremely strict,
And wedlock and a padlock mean the same;
Excepting only when the former's pick'd

It ne'er can be replac'd in proper frame:
Spoilt, as a pipe of claret is when prick'd;
But then their own polygamy's to blame;
Why don't they knead two virtuous souls, for life,
Into that moral centaur, man and wife ?

CLIX.

Thus far our chronicle; and now we pause,
Though not for want of matter; but 't is time,
According to the ancient epic laws,

To slacken sail, and anchor with our rhyme.
Let this fifth canto meet with due applause,

The sixth shall have a touch of the sublime; Meanwhile, as Homer sometimes sleeps, perhaps You'll pardon to my muse a few short naps.

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PREFACE TO CANTOS VI. VII. AND VIII.

THE details of the siege of Ismail, in two of the following cantos (i. e. the seventh and eighth) were taken from the French Work entitled "Histoire de la Nouvelle Russie." Some of the incidents attributed to Don Juan really occurred, particularly the circumstance of his saving the infant, which was the actual case of the late Duc de Richelieu, then a young volunteer in the Russian service, and afterwards the founder and benefactor of Odessa, where his name and memory can never cease to be regarded with

reverence.

In the course of these cantos, a stanza or two will be found relative to the late Marquis of Londonderry, but written some time before his decease. Had that person's oligarchy died with him, they would have been suppressed: as it is, I am aware of nothing in the manner of his death or of his life, to prevent the free expression of the opinions of all whom his whole existence was consumed in endeavouring to enslave. That he was an amiable man in private life, may or may not be true; but with this the public have nothing to do and as to lamenting his death, it will be time enough when Ireland has ceased to mourn for his birth. As a minister, I, for one of millions, looked upon him as one of the most despotic in intention, and the weakest in intellect, that ever tyrannised over a country. It is the first time indeed, since the Normans that England has been insulted by a minister (at least) who could not speak English, and that Parliament permitted itself to be dictated to in the language of Mrs. Malaprop.

Of the manner of his death, little need be said, except that, if a poor radical, such as Waddington or Watson, had cut his throat, he would have been buried in a cross-road, with the usual appurtenances of the stake and mallet. But the minister was an elegant lunatic-a sentimental suicide -he merely cut the "carotid artery," (blessings on their learning!) and lo! the pageant, and the Abbey! and "the syllables of dolour yelled forth" by the newspapers-and the harangue of the Coroner in a eulogy over the bleeding body of the deceased-(an Anthony worthy of such a Cæsar)-and the nauseous and atrocious cant of a degraded