"

Peggy," said I, turning to the other nymph, who during the latter part of the transaction looked disappointment personified," Peggy, I'll take a hundred from you likewise."-" You're very good, sir," answered Peggy; ye'll no find mine's the warst bar gain." "But recollect this both of you," continued I," I will give no more than three shillings the hundred; it is quite enough in all conscience."-"Three shillings!" cried Mrs Grizzel, putting her hands in the mass of petticoats in which her pockets were enveloped; "three shillings! -ye's no get my oysters for three shillings the day."-" Three shillings, and the oysters sae scarce !" ejaculated Mrs Peggy. "It may be enough for Grizzy Tamson's oysters, but ye's ne'er get mine for that price.""Very well," said I, "I don't want them; I would rather not buy any;" and I turned to go away. "Hear me! come back, Mr Columbine," exclaimed Grizzel; "I'll tak your siller for handsel, but ye maun pit anither sixpence till't.' -"Not one farthing more," replied I." Weel, weel, a wilfu' man maun aye hae his will," said Grizzel, moralizing upon the occasion." As mine's in your tankard ye may tak mine's too," said Peggy, with a selfcongratulatory smile; "but mind ye're awn me a shilling the morn."

Blind Isbel got the oysters, and up stairs we went to the principal part of the market. At the top of the stair I was recognized by Kate Lugworm, who came to me with a face of importance, and in a half whisper said, "I've gotten the cats the day for you, Mr Combsbrush; there's just sax o' them; and the gudeman fought twa hours this mornin' before he could get them out o' the nets.-Ye'll no grudge me a shillin the piece for them."-"A shilling a piece for sea cats, Katherine; that is a great deal too much. I have often bought them for twopence.". "Ah, but sir, ye ken they're no to be had every day, and they're very destructionfu' to the nets. I've gotten half a crown for them before now frae Mr Wilson and Mr Neill the Naturals o' the Vermin Society in the College for speciments. But come and see them, and I'm sure ye'll no grudge the siller." I went to the stand accordingly, and saw the ugly animals, which, however hideous in appearance, I beg to recommend to lovers of

good eating. "See sic beauties," said Katherine; "a' loupin; every ane o' them will be three pund weight, and there's nae cats in the market the day but my ain. I'm sure after their heads are cuttit aff they'll mak a dish for a lord."-" As you have taken the trouble to offer them to me, Mrs Katherine," said I, "you know I am at a word, I shall give you two shillings for the half dozen."

Our bargain was here interrupted by the arrival of a Frenchman, a little gentleman with "spectacles on nose," who, on surveying the fish on Katherine's table, exclaimed, "Vat ugly devil! are dese poissons-fishes, dat is, I mane, goot voman?"-" Poison, Sir !-Na, they're nae mair poison than ony fish in the market:-them that eats paddocks need na be fear'd for sea-cats, I think.-But that cod's head ye're looking at, (for the Frenchman had fixed his eyes very knowingly upon this article,) I'll gie you very cheap-ye'll get it for saxpence." "Mon Dieu! a sixpence for dat head of cod; dat is trop cher, my goot voman, ver much too dear; but I vill for de head give twopence 3-or if you give me dis tail along vid head, all in one bargain, den ver vell; I vill take for one penny more, dat is all.”— "Weel, weel, tak them, an nae mair about it. Whare's your cadie, or hae you a clout?"-" Stop un little, my goot voman," said the Frenchman, spreading a dirty pocket handkerchief, which he drew from a ridicule in his hand; "stop un little time, my mistress, till I put de fish in dis ridicule;" and having finished stuffing the mutilated fragments of the cod-fish into the little basket, he paid his threepence and went away,-not, however, without turning back several times to look at the dog-fish, and muttering as he went along, "Vat ugly devil, dat poisson, ugly devil certainement."

"Now that man's awa, I'll tell you Mr Combsbrush, ye's get the cats for three shillings," said Katherine," and I'll gie you half a dozen o' thae flukes to the bargain."-" No, no," replied I, "that won't do, Katherine; I won't give more than two shillings-not one farthing."-"Eh, I canna tak that, sir; but mak it saxpence mair, and they're yours-it'll aye be a dram to me."-"No, can't do it ;" and I was proceeding along to another stall, as the only means of hastening the con

clusion of the bargain. Mrs Katherine allowed me to go so far, before calling me back, that I was more than half determined to return and take the fish at her own price, when her voice sounded like a bugle through the market, "Hy, sir!-Hy, Mr Combsbrush! ye're no gaun till leave me for a sax pence? Come here and tak the fishwe manna be ower hard.-Isbel, haud your basket."-I returned again to the stall, having, as I conceived, gained my point; and Katherine was in the act of putting the cats in the basket upon the woman's shoulder, when I thought I perceived that she had changed the fish I saw on her table for smaller ones. As this is a common trick in the market, I made no secret of my suspicions, and taxed her roundly for the imposition." You are ower auld farrent, ma bonnie man, I see; ye'll scarcely let poor folk live now-a-days;" and upon my insisting for others, she produced out of a creel, where were some dozens of the same animals, the identical fish which she had exhibited on her table when I first accosted her.

Blind Isbel and I now proceeded to a stall opposite, where haddocks were the chief fish exposed to sale. A lady was at this time cheapening a few of them. "I'll gie you a dizzen o' nice anes for twa shillings, mem." "Two shillings!" replied the lady; " I would give you a shilling for them, provided they were new caught, but they don't, I think, seem very fresh."-"Fresh, mem! they were ta'en out o' the sea this mornin'; ye surely dinna ken caller fish when ye see them. Look at that," said she, putting a slimy thumb in the opening of the gills, to shew their untarnished redness. The fish, notwithstanding the honest woman's asseverations, had certainly been kept a day or two, and were not just such haddocks as a connoisseur would have purchased. The lady looked doubtingly for a moment, and then having made up her mind, shook her head, and removed to another stall. My friend the fishwife, as she was retiring, began a soliloquy, in which, (like many of my friends in the theatre when speaking aside), she said, loud enough to be heard by the lady, "Stinkin' fish!-go, that's a gude ane. I wish ye may be as caller yoursel.Stinkin' haddies!-lingle-tail'd jade, for a' your silks !-No fresh!-clap a

kail-blade to your ain end, ma leddy!"

"You are in a monstrous passion to-day, Nelly," said I; "what's the matter?"-"Naething at a', sir, but for folk comin' to the market that disna ken fish when they see them. They had better be playing their pianos at hame. I like best to deal wi' gentlemen. Come, see what ye're for the day, and I'll mak ye right ::-are ye for a rawn fluke, or a nice maiden skate?-See what a beauty, I'm sure this ane's just a medicine. If ye want it ye'll get it for a shilling; I'm sure ye canna ca' that dear.". "I'll give you sixpence for the skate," said I.— Saxpence !-do ye think I steal them? Thae's no fish ye're buyinthae's mens' lives! Saxpence for the haill skate,-the broo o't will do ye a crown's worth o' gude. But ye'll maybe be wantin something mair, sae just tak it. I havena drawn a saxpence the day yet. Will ye no tak that turbot?"

"If ye're for a turbot, come to me," said a laughing-faced woman at the next stall," and ye'll get your pick o' sax. The choice of six turbots was not to be neglected, and I stept on a few paces. "Ay, ay, gang your wa's,

an

"I was

she likes gentlemen, and can sell ye something else if ye want it."-" Haud your ill-tongue, Tibby,-there's naebody fashin wi' you;-your tongue's nae scandal; a'body kens that,' swered Jenny Flukemouth. "Truth's nae scandal," replied Tibby; never catched at the back o' the houses as ye was, wi' Johnny Crabshell, anither woman's man; that's nae secret. Fy for shame, ye light-headed taupy; ca' me a liar for that if ye dare," said Tibby, challenging contradiction, and setting her arms akimbo, while her elbows and head were projected in defiance. "I'm no ca'in you ony thing that ye're no kent to be, ye randy woman that ye are. I never was carried hame in a cart frae the Fishwives' Causeway fu'; nor fell ower my ain creel at Jock's Lodge, as some ither folk hae done, mind that," said Jenny, cresting her head, and looking a triumph. And then addressing me, said, "See sic turbots, sir; I sell'd Bailie Mucklekite the neibor o' this ane, for half-a-guinea, no a quarter o' an hour ago." Tibby was pluck, however, and had determined not to give up the contest. Coming close up to her younger antagonist, in the attitude

above described, and putting her very red weather-beaten face so close to Jenny's that their noses almost touched, she broke out like a torrent, " Did ye say I was fou, ye limmer ?—will ye tell me that again to my face, and I'll rug the mutch aff your head, ye-ye -impudence that you are."-" What I have said I'll no unsay for you: gang and mind your ain stand, and no mak a noise here," said Jenny, with more command of temper. But Tibby, who seemed determined to provoke a quarrel, and whose fingers appeared only to want a reasonable excuse to fly at the headdress of her antagonist, urged the dispute with increasing energy of speech. "De'il be in ma feet gin I stir a step till I mak ye eat back your words, ye liein' besom. Me fou!-whan was I seen fou, ye light-headed hizzie? tell me that again if ye dare."-" Gang awa, woman, and no provoke me,' said Jenny, pushing her gently aside by the shoulders; "let's sell our fish first, and flyte after." Tibby's wrath needed only this last attempt to raise it to its utmost pitch. "Ye'll offer to shoot me, ye little worth quean!ye'll offer to lift your hand to ane that might be your mither!"-and she flew with open talons at the chequered handkerchief which, tied under the chin, forms the characteristic headdress of the ladies of the Fish-market, and tore it off in an instant. Jenny, to recover her head appurtenances, instantly flew at the offender, and a struggle ensued, in which Jenny's strength seemed more than an overmatch for Tibby's modes of defence. Tibby retreated backwards, keeping her hold, and Jenny followed with dishevelled hair, both struggling till Mrs Tibby reached the verge of a large tub full of dirty water, used in cleaning fish; and fishwomen no more than others being provided with eyes

at their backs, she tumbled fairly into the tub, and Jenny above her.

The immense package of petticoats increasing her naturally not over-small shape,and the weight of her antagonist's person, pressed Tibby so closely into the tub, that she was as incapable of motion as if she had formed an integral part of it. Jenny now recovered her head-deckings, and having hastily adjusted them, came back to the sale of the turbot, amidst cries from her companions of " Weel done, Jenny!— weel done, my woman!-gie the illtongued jade a good sousing in her ain dirty water. Every body has their failings, and ye're nae waur than anither.' "That randy's put me a throughither," said she to me, "and no to keep you langer waiting, ye sall get the choice of the turbots for eight shillings, sir."-" No, Jenny, I'l give no more than seven,-not a penny more will I give, and I must have a lobster to the bargain-I'll rather take my chance of going round the market.”

"Hoot, you'll surely mak it eight. See to that lobster, look at the rawn, its worth half-a-crown itself-but I'm out o' breath wi' that outrageous woman," said Jenny.-" Only seven for the whole, Jenny, take or want." —“ Weel, I'll just take your bode; but mind ye're awin me a shilling," said she, putting the turbot and lobster into Blind Isbel's basket. I now retreated from the scene of contest. Tibby, being relieved from her unpleasant situation with no small difficulty, by the assistance of two of her companions, was shaking her dripping vestments, and threatening vengeance. "I'll mind you, my woman, whan we get to Fisherraw; ye're no done wi' this yet; I'll learn ye till use a woman that might be your mither in sic a way as this.'

I HAD now got oysters, a maiden skate (gentle readers, never buy other than a maiden skate), six dog-fish, a turbot, and a lobster, and was going along the market on my return home, taking a peep at the stalls as I passed, when whom should I meet but Mrs

Lord Byron.

Columbus, followed by Cripple Donald the cadie, with a basket pretty well loaded."Bless me, Mr Columbus, I did not think you were to have been at the market so early. I hope you have not bought any thing, for I have got all we shall want for dinner to

day."-" That's very unfortunate, my dear Mary," said I,- very unlucky, and very stupid indeed. You know I told you that I was to go to the market myself?"-" True, you did, my dear Christopher," replied Mrs Columbus," but then you said you should not be able to go before twelve; and I wished to surprise you by calling, as I went home, and telling you how active I have been. It is not eleven yet, my dear ;"-and she looked provokingly in the right. "I had no notion you would be here to-day," continued I, not knowing what further to say in my own defence, and looking down to my shoes as if they could have furnished me with reasons in justification. "You have not got a turbot, my dear?" resumed Mrs Columbus. "Look at Isbel's basket," said I, biting my lip, and pointing to the unlucky animal, which I wished had been at this time roaming through the illimitable fields of ocean. "What a pity!" continued Mrs Columbus, in a melancholy tone; "but it can't be helped now, and it is not worth while putting one's self out of humour for a turbot. By the bye, I have bought a dozen of those ugly fish you like-sea-cats, as they call them; and have got some very fine oysters, and an excellent lob

ster.

This was monstrously tantalizing, indeed; and, on a comparison of baskets, I found, that for every article in that of Blind Isbel, there was a corresponding one in that of Cripple Donald. After a number of other little remarks on the merits of the cause, the tendency of which went to establish that both of us acted quite right, and that neither of us could possibly be wrong, a definitive treaty was entered into on the spot between Mrs Columbus and myself, that we should never while we lived-no, never-go to the Fish-market on the same day, unless together. Blind Isbel was dispatched home with her basket, and Donald was retained, to follow to the Green-market for a supply of some necessary vegetables. "Do you know the house, Isbel?" said I to the poor half-blind body, who seemed to require rather than to. give assistance. "O yes, I kens it fu' weel. It's just the three door on the sout side o' the square. I kens it fu' weel."-" The south side, Isbel! you stupid old woVOL. X.

man-my house is on the north side," said I. "O, sure your honour's right, and I means norse fan I says sout."

On further inquiry, I found that I had paid for my turbot seven shillings, while my wife had bought one as good for four shillings and sixpence. This was a triumph to Mrs Columbus, which I had no means of lessening, but by saying that my turbot was by much the better fish; and that, though no larger, it was certainly much thicker. Mrs Columbus, rather unadvisedly, I think, sustained her opinion, by saying, if there was any material dif ference, her turbot appeared to be largest, all things considered. It is excessively unpleasant, as I have often experienced, for man to yield to his yoke-fellow, even though apparently in the wrong; and I concluded the conversation by raising my eye-brows, and replying in a manner, which signified that it was unpleasant to hear any more on the subject.-" My dear Mary, talk no more about it-every body don't see things with the same eyes-your turbot is a very good turbot for the money, and-and-I believe I have an engagement at halfpast eleven."

I have often observed in my journeyings through the world, that when one blunder is committed, it is usu ally followed by another; and this occurs so regularly, that blunder follows blunder as effect follows cause. This day's mishap was continued to the next; and although we had our dinner-our turbot and lobster saucethe sea-cats dressed in capital style, and surrounded by very alluring floun ders; and although our party was so agreeable, that we had resolved to have another next day to eat our duplicate turbot, and devour our supernumerary cats and lobster; and for that pur pose, had sent cards of invitation on short notice to a few friends, all of whom luckily were disengaged and promised to come:-Notwithstanding, I say, of all this, the second disappointment was worse than the first, as I shall endeavour to convince the reader, premising, however, that my "Plain Statement of Facts" does not imply the reverse of what is held out, when common authors give to the world books or pamphlets under this imposing title.

Blind Isbel, it seems, had actually

2 D