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Consult the statute ; quart. I think it is,
Edwardi sext, or prem, et quint. Eliz.
See Libels, Satires-here you have it-read.
P. Libels and Satires ! lawless things indeed !
But grave epistles, bringing vice to light,
Such as a king might read, a bishop write,
Such as Sir Robert would approve-F. Indeed !
The case is alter'd-you may then proceed :
In such a cause the plaintiff will be hiss’d,
My lords the judges laugh, and you're dismiss'd.
WHAT, and how great, the virtue and the art
To live on little with a cheerful heart!
(A doctrine sage, but truly none of mine)
Let's talk, my friends, but talk, before we dine;
Not when a gilt buffet's reflected pride
Turns you from sound philosophy aside;
Not when from plate to plate your eyeballs roll,
And the brain dances to the mantling bowl.
Hear Bethel's sermon, one not vers’d in schools, But strong in sense, and wise without the rules.
“ Go work, hunt, exercise ! (he thus began ;) Then scorn a homely dinner if you can. Your wine lock'd up, your butler stroll’d abroad, Or fish deny'd, (the river yet unthaw'd,) If then plain bread and milk will do the feat, 15 The pleasure lies in you, and not the meat.
Preach as I please, I doubt our curious men Will chuse a pheasant still before a hen; Yet hens of Guinea full as good I hold, Except you eat the feathers green and gold, 20
Of carps and mullets why prefer the great,
(Tho'cut in pieces ere my Lord can eat,)
Yet for small turbots such esteem profess?
Because God made these large, and other less.
Oldfield, with more than Harpy throat endu’d, 25
Cries, “ Send me, Gods! a whole hog barbecu'd !!
Oh blast it, South winds! till a stench exhale
Rank as the ripeness of a rabbit's tail.
By what criterion do you eat, d’ye think,
If this is priz'd for sweetness, that for stink? 80
When the tir'd glutton labours thro' a treat,
He finds no relish in the sweetest meat;
He calls for something bitter, something sour,
And the rich feast concludes extremely poor,
Cheap eggs, and herbs, and olives, still we see;
Thus much is left of old simplicity!
The robin redbreast till of late had rest,
And children sacred held a martin's nest,
Till baccaficos sold so dev’lish dear
To one that was, or would have been, a peer. 40
Let me extol a cat on oysters fed,
I'll have a party at the Bedford-head;
Or ev’n to crack live crawfish recommend;
I'd never doubt at court to make a friend.
"Tis yet in vain, I own, to keep a pother
About one vice and fall into the other:
Between excess and famine lies a mean;
Plain but not sordid, tho' not splendid clean.
Avidien or his wife, (no matter which,
For him you'll call a dog, and her a bitch,) 50
Sell their presented patridges and fruits,
And humbly live on rabbits and on roots :
One half-pint bottle serves them both to dine,
And is at once their vinegar and wine :
But on some lucky day, (as when they found 55
A lost bank-bill, or heard their son was drown'd,)
At such a feast, old vinegar to spare,
Is what two souls so gen'rous cannot bear:
Oil, tho' it stink, they drop by drop impart,
But souse the cabbage with a bounteous heart. 60
He knows to live who keeps the middle state,
And neither leans on this side nor on that;
Nor stops for one bad cork his butler's pay,
Swears like Albutius, a good cook away ;
Nor lets, like Nævius, ev'ry error pass,
65 The musty wine, foul cloth, or greasy glass.
Now hear what blessings temperance can bring: (Thus said our friend, and what he said I sing.) First health : the stomach (cramm'd from ev'ry dish, A tomb of boild and roast, and flesh and fish, 70 Where bile, and wind, and phlegm, and acid, jar, And all the man is one intestine war,)