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Then spouts and foams, and cries at every line

(The Lord forgive him!), 'Bravo! grand! divine!

Hoarse with those praises (which, by flatt'ry fed,

Dependence barters for her bitter bread), He strides and stamps along with creaking boot,

Till the floor echoes his emphatic foot;
Then sits again, then rolls his pious eye,
As when the dying vicar will not die!
Nor feels, forsooth, emotion at his heart; -
But all dissemblers overact their part. 780

build the lofty

Ye, who aspire to rhyme,' Believe not all who laud your false 'sublime;'


But if some friend shall hear your work, and say,

'Expunge that stanza, lop that line away,' And, after fruitless efforts, you return Without amendment, and he answers,


That instant throw your paper in the fire, Ask not his thoughts, or follow his desire; But if (true bard!) you scorn to condescend,

And will not alter what you can't defend, If you will breed this bastard of your brains, We'll have no words I've only lost my pains.


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All men avoid bad writers' ready tongues, As yawning waiters fly Fitzscribble's lungs; Yet on he mouths ten minutes - tedious each 809 As prelate's homily or placeman's speech; Long as the last years of a lingering lease, When riot pauses until rents increase. While such a minstrel, muttering fustian, strays

O'er hedge and ditch, through unfrequented ways,

If by some chance he walks into a well, And shouts for succour with stentorian yell, 'A rope! help, Christians, as ye hope for grace!

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Nor woman, man, nor child will stir a pace; For there his carcass he might freely fling, From frenzy or the humour of the thing. Though this has happen'd to more bards than one; I'll tell you Budgell's story, — and have done.


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Then thousand schemes of petulance and pride Despatch her scheming children far and wide:

Some east, some west, some every where but north,


In quest of lawless gain, they issue forth.
And thus-accursed be the day and year!
She sent a Pict to play the felon here.
Yet Caledonia claims some native worth,
As dull Bœotia gave a Pindar birth;
So may her few, the letter'd and the brave,
Bound to no clime and victors of the grave,
Shake off the sordid dust of such a land,
And shine like children of a happier strand;
As once of yore in some obnoxious place,
Ten names (if found) had saved a wretched


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'First on the head of him who did this deed

on him and all his

My curse shall light,
Without one spark of intellectual fire,
Be all the sons as senseless as the sire:
If one with wit the parent brood disgrace,
Believe him bastard of a brighter race. 168
Still with his hireling artists let him prate,
And Folly's praise repay for Wisdom's hate;
Long of their patron's gusto let them tell,
Whose noblest, native gusto is to sell:
To sell, and make may Shame record the
The state receiver of his pilfer'd prey.
Meantime, the flattering, feeble dotard,
Europe's worst dauber, and poor Britain's

With palsied hand shall turn each model o'er
And own himself an infant of fourscore.
Be all the bruisers cull'd from all St.

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That art and nature may compare their



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