And every one came in his wig and robes To the examination of Hieronimus Jobs. But how he felt in view of his danger, Being to learning an utter stranger,

And what an anxious face he made,
The reader will not comprehend, I'm afraid.

The scene is beyond my power of painting: If he ever in his life saw the hour for fainting, That hour at last was approaching now, Alas! thou poor Hieronimus, thou!

Begin now, Miss Muse, an enumeration

Of the clerical gentlemen whom the examination

Brought hither on the appointed day
From every quarter of Swabia.

The first, that was the Herr Inspector,
In doctrine strong as a second Hector,
A stately, pot-bellied man was he,
Whom you saw at a glance an Inspector to
be.

This post was accorded to his singular merit,
Its burdens he bore with a patient spirit,
And, to say the truth, with a cheerful
mood,

And daily ate and drank what was good.

And after him came the ghostly Assessor,
A man whose breadth was somewhat lesser,
But height much greater: he was spare of
limb,

And his disposition exceedingly grim.

He not only the spiritual interests defended.
But to matters of economy also attended,

And drank only bad wine and beer,
For his income was small and his habit

severe.

Then came Herr Krager, an oldish man rather,

Next Herr Beff, a Linguist of great reputation, And a tolerable Christian in walk and conversation,

In lecturing a terrible bore,

But always Orthodox to the core.

Next Herr Schrei, a man of great notoriety Alike in the pulpit and in general society, Free and easy-had no wife,

And led with his cook an exemplary life.
Next Herr Plotz, an angelic creature,
In his youth of a somewhat genial nature,
But when to preach he once began
He became a very pious man.

He kept his beloved congregation,
From vice and evil communication,
Faithful in season and out was he
To admonish, when he had opportunity.
Next Herr Keffer, who never could tire
In following his sheep through mud and mire,
But alas! in his flock, beside the lambs,
Were likewise many stiff-necked old rams.
Sometimes, to get them to follow his leadings,
He instituted legal proceedings,

For he understood the jura of the state
As well as the very best advocate.

Besides those named in the above enumeration,

Other clerical gentlemen attended the examination,

Whom I neither need nor can

Particularly designate man by man. Now when the reverend and ghostly faces Had all come together in their places, Præmissis præmittendis they

Round a great table sate straightway. With trembling and quaking came Hieronimus Before this assembly of white bands so omi

nous,

And scraped a greeting submissively, Oh, woe, Hieronimus! woe on thee!

father,

And to prove a point could readily quote
Whatever any one of 'em wrote.

Next Herr Krisch; polite as a Castilian,
Who was, in Postils, a perfect postilion;

Posted up in them as well as the best
Parson the Swabian land possessed.

About his previous manners and mores,
And presently asked him whether he
Had a certificate from the university?
Hieronimus, without hesitation,
Handed the inspector the attestation,
Who read the same immediately:
Alas, Hieronimus, woe on thee!

'Tis true, the document was worded.
In Latin and Greek, as above recorded,
And consequently not easy to read,
But unfortunately, as ill luck decreed,

The Inspector made out, in a free translation
To give a substantial interpretation,

For no other clergyman in the hall
Dared undertake the task at all.

To leave no breach in this narration,

1 will now give the reader full information, What Hieronimus' certificate,

Word for word, did properly state.

First the name and title of the Professors,
And then in larger hand, the letters

L. B. S., and the meaning of them
Was Lectori Benevolo Salutem!

"Forasmuch as Herr Hieronimus Jobsius

As Theologiæ Studiosus,

However, on all hands it seemed better,
For this once to overlook the matter,
And for charity's sake to find all the good
In the testimonial that they could.

For the gentlemen wisely recollected
How many of their tricks had not been de-
tected,

And how if they had, it had fared with them,

And so they proceeded at once ad rem.

The Herr Inspector he led off,
Clearing the way with a mighty cough,
Repeated thrice, thrice did he stroke
His portly paunch and then he spoke :
"I, for the time pro tempore Inspector
And of the clergy present Director,
Ask you: Quid fit Episcopus?"
Straightway replied Hieronimus:

Had his residence in this place,

"And the same now has it in contemplation
To take his leave, and has made application
For a written certificate to me,
A step of great propriety,—

"I could not refuse his reasonable desires, But give hereby the attest he requires,

That the same did every quarter of a year Once at my lecture-room appear.

"Whether the rest was devoted to study Himself knows better than anybody,

For I in this official report

Assert and testify nothing of the sort.

"And as to general behaviour,
There is not much to be said in his favor,
Entire silence on that point would be
The part of Christian charity.

"For the rest I have only to say, God speed

him

On his journey home, and may heaven lead him,

When all these earthly troubles are past, To the place where he belongs at last!"

How the eyes of the learned body distended When the reading of this document ended! And that Herr Hieronimus did not laugh The reader can imagine readily enough.

An altogether agreeable mixture

Of sugar, pomegranate juice and red wine, And for warming and strengthening very fine."

The Candidate Jobs this answer making,
There followed of heads a general shaking,
And first the Inspector said, hem! hem!
Then the others secundum ordinem.

And now the Assessor began to inquire:
"Herr Hieronimus! tell me, I desire,

Who the Apostles may have been?" Hieronimus quick made answer again: "Apostles they call great jugs, I'm thinking, In which wine and beer are kept for drinking,

In the villages, and from them oft

By thirsty Bursches liquor is quaffed." The Candidate Jobs this answer making, There followed of heads a general shaking, And first the Inspector said, hem! hem ! Then the others secundum ordinem,

Herr Krager now in his turn stood ready: And "if you please, Herr Candidate," said he, "Inform me who was St. Augustin?" Hieronimus answered with open mien :

"The only Augustine of whom I've any knowledge

Is the one I used to know at college,

246

The Candidate Jobs this answer making, There followed of heads a general shaking, And first the Inspector said, hem! hem! Then the others secundum ordinem.

But there was one of them he knew On the Angel-Tavern sign, painted blue." The Candidate Jobs this answer making, There followed of heads a general shaking, And first the Inspector said, hem! hem! And the others secundum ordinem.

quested

"Can you give, Herr Candidate, an enumeration Of the concilia æcumenica ? "

And Hieronimus answered: "Sir,

"When I at the university did study

I was often cited before a body

Called a council, but it never seemed to me To have anything to do with economy."

sermon:

The one of these two parts no man
Can understand, but the other he can."

The Candidate Jobs this answer making,
There followed of heads a general shaking,
And first the Inspector said, hem! hem!
Then the others secundum ordinem.

"I find in a book to which I've paid attention,

Sophia's tour from Memel to Saxony, mention,

That she to the surly Kibbutz 2 fell
Because she refused the rich old swell."

The Candidate Jobs this answer making,
There followed of heads a general shaking,
And first the Inspector said, hem! hem!
Then the others secundum ordinem.

Next in turn it came to Herr Schreier,
Who did of Hieronimus inquire,
"How many classes of angels he
Considered there might properly be?"

Hieronimus answered, "He never pretended
With all the angels to be acquainted,

1 Kibbutz is a corruption for the Hebrew letter Koph. • Kibbutz is also a name for the Owl.

There followed of heads a general shaking, And first the Inspector said, hem! hem! Then the others secundum ordinem.

The remaining questions that received attention

For want of room I omit to mention ;
For otherwise the protocol

Would exceed seven sheets, if given in full. For there were many questions, dogmatical, Polemical and hermeneutical,

To which Hieronimus made reply
In the manner above, successively.

3 The German students nickname their creditors Manichæans.