her waist, "it is in solemn moments like this that the solidarity of mankind becomes most apparent."

Virginia, during the last few moments had stuck her fingers in her ears. She now took them out, and, throwing her arms round Paul's neck, tried, with her cheek on his shoulder, to make another little hoot; but the sound her lips formed was much more like a kiss. The power of religion was at last too much for Paul.

"For the sake of cosmic emotion," he exclaimed, "O other half of Humanity, and for the sake of rational religion, I will kiss you."

The Professor was bending down his face over her, when, as if by magic, he started, stopped, and remained as one petrified. Amidst the sharp silence, there rang a human shout from the rocks.

"Oh!" shrieked Virginia, falling on her knees, "it is a miracle! it is a miracle! God is angry with us for pretending that we do not believe on him."

The Professor was as white as a sheet; but he struggled with his perturbation manfully.

"It is not a miracle," he cried, "but an hallucination. It is an axiom with exact thinkers that all proofs of the miraculous are hallucinations."

Paul looked, and there, sure enough, were two figures, a male and a female, advancing slowly towards them, across the moonlit sand.

"It is nothing," cried Paul; "it cannot possibly be anything. I protest, in the name of science, that it is an optical delusion."

Suddenly the female figure exclaimed, "Thank God, it is he!"

In another moment the male figure exclaimed, "Thank God, it is she!"

a few days ago and which I was in the act of looking for when your joint cries attracted us and we found you.'

A yell of delight here broke from the Professor. The eyes of the three others were turned on him, and he was seen embracing wildly a monkey which the bishop led by a chain. "The missing link!" he exclaimed, "the missing link!” "Nonsense!" cried the sharp tones of a lady with a green gown and grey corkscrew curls. "It is nothing but a monkey that the good bishop has been trying to tame for his wife. Don't you see her name engraved on the collar ?"

The shrill accents acted like a charm upon Paul. He sprang away from the creature that he had just been caressing. He gazed for a moment on Virginia's lovely form, her exquisite toilette, and her melting eyes. Then he turned wildly to the green gown and grey cork-screw curls. Sorrow and superstition he felt were again invading Humanity. "Alas!" he exclaimed at last, "I do now indeed believe in hell."

"And I," cried Virginia, with much greater tact, and rushing into the arms of her bishop, "once more believe in heaven."

W. H. MALLOCK.

DEAN SWIFT, while listening to a very uninteresting piece of music, showed signs of weariness. His neighbor observing it, addressed him, saying: "Are you aware of the fact that this piece is very difficult?" "I wish it were impossible," was Swift's reply.

AN EXCUSE.-A country pedagogue had two pupils, to one of whom he was partial, and to the other severe. One morning it happened that both of these "My husband!" gasped Virginia. two boys were late, and were called to "My wife!" replied the bishop (for it account for it. "You must have heard was none other than he). "Welcome to the bell, boys; why did you not come? Chasuble Island. By the blessing of God" Please, sir," said the favorite, "I was it is on your own home you have been dreamin' that I was goin' to Californy, wrecked, and you have been living in and I thought the school-bell was the the very house that I had intended to pre- steamboat-bell as I was goin' in." " Very pare for you. Providentially, too, Pro- well," said the master, glad of any prefessor Darnley's wife has called here, in text to excuse his favorite. "And now, her search for her husband, who has sir," turning to the other, "what have overstayed his time. See, my love, my you to say?" 'Please, sir," said the dove, my beauty, here is the monkey I puzzled boy, "I-I-was waiting to see promised you as a pet, which broke loose Tom off."

child, can't you see what you're doing?— Come, come, come, Roderick Dhu, it isn't

COLONEL MULBERRY SELLERS. nice for little boys to hang onto young

COLONEL SELLERS AT HOME.

Two months had gone by and the Hawkins family were domiciled in Hawkeye. Washington Hawkins was at work in the real estate office again, and was alternately in paradise or the other place just as it happened that Louise was gracious to him or seemingly indifferent-because indifference or preoccupation could mean nothing else than that she was thinking of some other young person. Colonel Sellers had asked him several times, to dine with him, when he first returned to Hawkeye, but Washington, for no particular reason, had not accepted. No particular reason except one which he preferred to keep to himself-viz. that he could not bear to be away from Louise. It occurred to him, now, that the Colonel had not invited him lately-could he be offended? He resolved to go that very day, and give the Colonel a pleasant surprise. It was a good idea; especially as

Louise had absented herself from breakfast

that morning, and torn his heart; he would tear hers, now, and let her see how

it felt.

The Sellers family were just starting to dinner when Washington burst upon them with his surprise. For an instant the Colonel looked nonplussed, and just a bit uncomfortable; and Mrs. Sellers looked actually distressed; but the next moment the head of the house was himself again, and exclaimed:

gentlemen's coat tails-but never mind him, Washington, he's full of spirits and don't mean any harm. Children will be children, you know. Take the chair next to Mrs. Sellers, Washington-tut, tut, Marie Antoinette, let your brother have the fork if he wants it, you are bigger

than he is."

and wondered if he were in his right Washington contemplated the banquet, mind. Was this the plain family dinner? And was it all present? It was soon apparent that this was indeed the dinner: it was all on the table: it consisted of abundance of clear, fresh water, and a basin of raw turnips-nothing more.

Washington stole a glance at Mrs.. Sellers's face, and would have given the world, the next moment, if he could have The poor woman's face spared her that. was crimson, and the tears stood in her eyes. Washington did not know what to do. He wished he had never come there and spied out this cruel poverty and heart and shame to her cheek; but he was brought pain to that poor little lady's there, and there was no escape. Colonel Sellers hitched back his coat sleeves airily from his wrists as who should say flourished it and began to harpoon turfor solid enjoyment!" seized a fork, nips and deposit them in the plates before

him:

"Now

Lafayette pass this plate to WashingtonLet me help you, Washingtonah, well, well, my boy, things are looking pretty bright, now, I tell you. Speculation-my! the whole atmosphere's full of "All right, my boy, all right-always money. I wouldn't take three fortunes glad to see you-always glad to hear your for one little operation I've got on hand voice and take you by the hand. Don't now-have anything from the casters? wait for special invitations-that's all No? Well, you're right, you're right. nonsense among friends. Just come Some people like mustard with turnips, whenever you can, and come as often as but-now there was Baron Poniatowskiyou can the oftener the better. You Lord, but that man did know how to can't please us any better than that, live!"-true Russian you know, Russian Washington; the little woman will tell to the back bone; I say to my wife give you so herself. We don't pretend to style. Plain folks, you know plain consequently there was hardly a family, at least in the folks. Just a plain family dinner, but West, but had a Washington in it—and also a Lafayette, such as it is, our friends are always wel- a Franklin, and six or eight sounding names from come, I reckon you know that yourself, Byron, Scott, and the Bible, if the offspring held out. Washington. Run along, children, run To visit such a family, was to find one's self confronted along; Lafayette, stand off the cat's tail, by a congress made up of representatives of the imperial

1

myths and the majestic dead of all the ages. There was

1 In those old days the average man called his child-something thrilling about it, to a stranger, not to say ren after his most revered literary and historical idols; awe inspiring.

176

me a Russian every time, for a table com- well he may, for he knows that he's got a rade. The Baron used to say, "Take reputation that covers the whole earth-he mustard, Sellers, try the mustard,can't know what turnips are in perfection many people, but lord bless you, he and —a man won't condescend to open himself out to without mustard,' but I always said, 'No.' I are just like brothers; he won't let me Baron, I'm a plain man, and I want my go to a hotel when I'm in the city-says food plain-none of your embellishments I'm the only man that's company to him, for Beriah Sellers-no made dishes for and I don't know but there's some truth me! And it's the best way-high living in it, too, because although I never like kills more than it cures in this world, you to glorify myself and make a great to-do can rest assured of that.-Yes indeed, over what I am or what I can do or what Washington, I've got one little operation I know, I don't mind saying here among on hand that take some more water-friends that I am better read up in most help yourself, won't you?-help yourself, sciences, maybe, than the general run of there's plenty of it.-You'll find it pretty professional men in these days. Well, good, I guess. How does that fruit strike the other day he let me into you? a little matter of the plague. secret, strictly on the quiet, about this

"I thought you'd like them. Examine them-examine them-they'll bear it. See how perfectly firm and juicy they are -they can't start any like them in this part of the country, I can tell you. These are from New Jersey-I imported them myself. They cost like sin, too; but lord bless me, I go in for having the best of a thing, even if it does cost a little more -it's the best economy, in the long run. These are the Early Malcolm-it's a turnip that can't be produced except in just one orchard, and the supply never is up to the demand. Take some more water, Washington-you can't drink too much water with fruit-all the doctors say that. The plague can't come where this article is, my boy!"

Washington said he did not know that he had ever tasted better. He did not add that he detested turnips even when our direction-follows the Gulf Stream, "You see it's booming right along in they were cooked-loathed them in their you know, just as all those epidemics do, natural state. No, he kept this to him--and within three months it will be just self, and praised the turnips to the peril waltzing through this land like a whirlof his soul. make his will and contract for the wind! And whoever it touches can funeral. know, but you can prevent it. Well you can't cure it, you Turnips! that's it! Turnips and water! How? Nothing like it in the world, old McDowells says, just fill yourself up two or three times a day, and you can snap your fingers at the plague. Sh!-keep mum, but just you confine yourself to that diet and you're all right. I wouldn't have old McDowells know that I told about it for anything-he never would speak to me again. water, Washington-the more water you drink, the better. Here, let me give you some more of the turnips. No, no, no, now, I insist. There, now. Absorb those. They're mighty sustaining-brim full of nutriment-all the medical books good-sized turnips at a meal, and drink say so. Just eat from four to seven and then just sit around a couple of from a pint and a half to a quart of water, like a fighting cock next day." hours and let them ferment. You'll feel

Plague? What plague?" "What plague, indeed? Asiatic plague that nearly depopulated Why the London a couple of centuries ago.' "But how does that concern us? There is no plague here, I reckon."

"Sh! I've let it out! Well, never mind-just keep it to yourself. Perhaps I oughtn't said anything, but it's bound to come out sooner or later, so what is the odds? Old McDowells wouldn't like me to-to-bother it all, I'll just tell the whole thing and let it go. You see, I've been down to St. Louis, and I happened to run across old Dr. McDowells-thinks the world of me, does the doctor. He's a man that keeps himself to himself, and

Take some more

Colonel's tongue was still chattering away Fifteen or twenty minutes later the -he had piled up several future fortunes out of several incipient "operations which he had blundered into within the past week, and was now soaring along through some brilliant expectations born of late promising experiments upon the lacking ingredient of the eye-water. And at such a time Washington ought to have