GOD, EVER our refuGE

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ness! But such I was. Nor do I blush, O my God, to "confess to Thee Thy Mercies towards me," and to call upon Thee, I who did not blush then to profess my blasphemies before men, and to bark against Thee. For what did it profit me to possess a mind quick in those sciences, and to be able to unravel those many knotty volumes without the aid of a human instructor; when I was erring so basely, and with sacrilegious foulness, in the doctrine of piety? or what disadvantage was it to Thy children to be of a slower understanding, seeing that they did not depart far from Thee, that they might safely become fledged in the nest of Thy Church, and nourish the wings of charity with the food of a sound faith? O Lord our God, "under the shadow of Thy Wings let us put our trust;"1 and do Thou protect us, and bear us up. "Thou wilt carry us both when little ones, and even to hoar hairs wilt Thou carry us,' Because when Thou art our Strength, it is strength indeed; but when it is our own, it is weakness. Our good ever lives with Thee; from which, therefore, when we turn away, we are perverted. Let us return then, O Lord, that we be not overturned; for our good liveth with Thee without any decay, for Thou art it Thyself; and we need not fear that there is no place to which to return, because we fell from it; for because of our absence, our home-Thy eternity-did not go to ruin. 2 Isa. xlvi. 3, 4.

' Ps. lxiii. 8.

BOOK V.

He describes his twenty-ninth year, in which, having discerned the ignorance of Faustus, a Manichæan, in those things in which they boasted that they possessed divine knowledge, he was led to entertain the idea of going no further in that sect. He is guided by the Providence of God to Rome, where he taught rhetoric, and thence to Milan, where he was occupied in the same way. There he heard S. Ambrose, and began to repent, and having abjured Manichæism, he determined again to become a Catechumen in the Catholic Church.

CHAPTER I.

He excites his Soul to praise God.

ACCEPT the sacrifice of my confessions from the

hand of my tongue, which Thou hast formed and stirred up to confess unto Thy Name: "Heal all my bones, and let them say: Lord, who is like unto Thee?" I For he who confesses to Thee, does not make Thee know what passes within him, seeing that a closed heart does not close Thine Eye, and man's hardness does not repel Thine Hand; but Thou dissolvest it when Thou wilt, either in pity or vengeance; and "there is nothing which can hide itself from Thy heat." 2 But let my soul praise Thee, that it may love Thee; and confess Thy Mercies to Thee, that it may praise Thee. Thy whole creation ceases not, nor is ever silent in Thy praises; neither the spirit of man with voice turned to Thee, nor any creature animate Ps. xix. 6.

Ps. xxxv. 1O.

2

IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID GOD

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or inanimate, but has the voice for Thee of those who meditate thereon; that so our souls may out of their weariness rise up to Thee, leaning on the things which Thou hast made, and making them stepping-stones to Thee, Who madest them wonderfully-to Thee, for there is refreshment and true strength.

CHAPTER II.

That the Wicked, as they cannot escape the Presence of God, ought to be converted to Him.

L

I

ET the restless and the wicked depart and flee from Thee; yet Thou seest them, and dividest the darkness; and behold all things with them are fair, and they themselves are foul. And how have they injured Thee? or in what have they brought dishonour upon Thy Government, which, from the heaven to the lowest depth, is just and perfect? For whither did they flee, when they fled from Thy Face? or where dost Thou not find them out? But they fled that they might not see "Thee seeing them," and blinded, might stumble against Thee; because "Thou forsakest nothing that Thou hast made;" "2 that the unjust might stumble against Thee, and be justly tormented; leaving Thy Gentleness, and stumbling upon Thy Uprightness, and falling on their own roughness. Indeed, they knew not that Thou art everywhere, and that no place can enclose Thee, and that Thou alone art present, even to those who are far from Thee. Let them then be converted and seek Thee; for not as they have deserted their Creator, 1 Ps. cxxxix. 7. Gen. xvi. 14. 2 Wisd. xi. 25.

100 HE MAKES A NEW ACQUAINTANCE

hast Thou deserted Thy creature. Let them be converted and seek Thee; and lo, Thou art in their heart, in the heart of those who confess to Thee, and cast themselves upon Thee, and bewail upon Thy bosom their past hard ways: and Thou dost kindly wipe away their tears, and they weep the more, and find a sweetness in weeping; for Thou, O Lord,—not man, not "flesh and blood," but Thou, O Lord, Who madest them, dost restore and console them. And where was I, when I sought Thee? And Thou wast before me; but I had departed from Thee, and did not find myself, much less Thee!

CHAPTER III.

Concerning Faustus, the Manichaean, and the Blindness of Philosophers, who through Creatures discerned not the Creator.

I

WILL now lay before the Eyes of my God that nine-and-twentieth year of my life. At that time there had come to Carthage a certain bishop of the Manichæans, by name Faustus, who was a great snare of the devil; and many were entrapped through the bait of his eloquence; which I, although I praised, could separate from the truth of the things which I was eager to learn: nor did I regard so much the dish upon which it was served up, as the mental food which this Faustus, so famous amongst them, provided. For his fame had already reached me, to the effect that he was most skilled in all honourable learning, and exceedingly well-taught in the liberal sciences. And since I had read many treatises of

DISCOVERIES OF SCIENCE

ΙΟΙ

the philosophers, and retained in my memory their tenets, I compared some of them with those long fables of the Manichæans; and the former seemed to me to be the more probable, when they said, "they could only prevail, so far as to judge of the things of this world," though "they could not in the least find out the Lord thereof." Since "Thou art great, O Lord, and hast respect unto the lowly; but the proud Thou beholdest afar off;"2 neither "dost Thou draw near" except to those who are of a contrite heart,"3 nor art Thou found by the proud, not even if they were able by curious skill to number the stars and the sand, and to measure the starry regions, and to track the orbits of the planets.

For these things they search out with their mind, and with the ability which Thou gavest them; and many things have they discovered; and have been able to prognosticate eclipses of the sun and moon many years before they occurred-telling the day, the hour, and the part of the disc which would be eclipsed; and what they foretold, came to pass as they said; and the laws which they found out they committed to writing, and they are read to this day, and others found their calculations upon them, and thus predict in what year, and in what month, and on what day of the month, and in what hour of the day, and to what extent, the sun or moon will be eclipsed; and what is foretold still comes to pass. And men who are ignorant of this science, wonder, and are amazed; and those who are acquainted with it, exult and are puffed up, and through an impious pride withdraw themselves, and fail of Thy light; these can foresee an I Wisd. xiii. 9. 3 Ps. xxxiv. 18.

2

Ps. cxxxviii. 6.